The rough divide
by metal-mako-dragon
Summary: This is an AU fic yet it still sticks close to the original storyline, however some things are changed and ficticious. Takes place after Esset tried to call The One. The whole premiss is what if Ran couldn't save Aya-chan? RanKen
1. Rebirth

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss kreuz or any of the characters therein so no suing!

Warnings: Pretty much all out angst with a hint of violence!

-Denotes thought-

_Denotes a flashback_

**The rough divide**

Stroke, step, parry, advance.

-Don't think, just move.-

Retreat, advance, lift, stroke.

-Just move, keep moving.-

Lift, pivot, stroke, jump.

I landed heavily on my right leg making me stumble and lose my balance. I could have easily recovered…but I just couldn't do this anymore. So I didn't. I let myself collapse heavily onto the training mats, my katana skittering out of reach over the floor. I lay there, not moving, hardly breathing even though the rough exertions I had forced myself through made my lungs ache and my body cry out for air. Yet the only breath I seemed to be able to draw was in silent sobs for her. I would only ever draw breath, I would only ever walk, talk, only ever cry in her memory now. Only for her, ever again.

_"Sometimes I wonder how you can live with the responsibility Aya-kun," Omi's light voice was almost awed as he watched me brush the hair from her forehead, "I mean, holding someone's life in your heart every moment of the day. It must be tiring for you."_

_"Not tiring," I assured him as I checked her IV was secure and the drip was functioning correctly, "just…comforting…I guess."_

_"She'll wake up soon Aya," Ken told me clearly as if he'd just read about it in the big-book-of-the-future, "just wait for her, you'll see."_

_"…Some day," I agreed cautiously, wishing superstitiously that there was some wood nearby to touch._

_"Yeah, and then she can appreciate what a handsome young man you've grown into," Yoji chuckled to himself, grinning at the glare I shot him, "calm down, you know I was kidding. But she will you know, appreciate all that you've done for her."_

_"I…hope she can understand," I said slowly, "…someday."_

_"But, even then…" Ken's voice was a little hesitant as he leaned back in his chair, pulling my gaze from her so as to study his face, "if she never woke up…you would be able to, you know, live with that?"_

_"I have done so far," I concluded darkly, really not wanting to elaborate on the thought that Aya-chan would never wake up; I just never allowed myself to think it anymore._

_"Ken!" Omi berated his friend with a scowl, "Don't talk like that, of course she will!"_

_"Yeah, but…" Ken winced visibly under Omi's glare, yet somehow found the courage to go on, "…you live and breathe for her Aya. Could you really handle doing that forever?"_

_"…I would never allow myself not to," was the only reply I would give him, the only reply I could give him, before I added softly, "ai shitteru Aya-chan," and kissed her forehead lightly._

Silent tears were flowing from my eyes, pooling on the red mats, looking like blood. Like her blood. My hand shook as I timidly, gently brushed my fingers over the leather, imagining it was her soft, calm face instead. The material seemed to give under my fingers, becoming the curve of a cheek, or the line of a nose.  I closed my eyes and tried to hear her soft breathing, the smell of the flowers that I usually took to her room in the hospital…but it didn't come. The fantasy seemed to slip right out of my hands, even just as I managed to take hold of it. The leather once again felt cold and hard under my touch, not soft and smooth like her face had been. 

Had been. 

I want to die.

She was dead. I should be dead, not her. I still could be dead. It would be so easy, just to die, so many ways…

Then could I be with her? Could I finally hear her laugh again like I remembered she had done so long ago? Would she run to me and hug me and tell me how much she loved her big brother?

Probably not. I really doubted that I of all people would be going to the same place as my dear Aya-chan after death. They should reserve an entire hell just for me. Just for the one miserable excuse for a brother who couldn't even save her. The one innocent left in this world, and I had let her slip through my hands just as easily as the thought of her still breathing was slipping through my mind now.

I hate myself. I want to die. I deserve to die…but I don't die. Why? Why won't they let me? I hate them; they shouldn't mess with other people's affairs. I wouldn't mess with theirs. If Yoji wanted to slit his wrists with his own wire and bleed to death over his beloved Asuka, I wouldn't be the one to stop him. I can understand that want now; I know why he would do it. If Ken wanted to jump from a bridge and drown himself after having to kill Kase…I would gladly drive him there myself; I know why he would want to do it. And Omi, if he wanted to take one of his own arrows and plunge it into his heart after Ouka and everything he had learned about his family, then I would leave him to it. I would, I swear blind that I would.

But they wouldn't do that. They would never do that. They're all too strong. How do they do it?

_"Asuka!" Yoji's wail of despair was nothing short of blood curdling, "Oh god, please Asuka, I'm so sorry..!"_

_He trailed off into sobbing uncontrollably, weeping into his dead loves hair, shoulder's shuddering and back muscles jumping under the onslaught of his sorrow._

_"Asuka, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," his voice was shadow soft yet ragged with grief all at once, "I didn't mean it, I didn't…"_

_There was nothing the other members of Weiss could do except stand off to the side and stare helplessly at their distraught comrade. Yoji didn't even seem to know they were there, his whole world having been brought down to him and Asuka._

_And now it was only him that survived in that world._

_No one dared to move towards him, even as the older mans broken sobs weakened and his shoulders slumped, shivering only slightly. Yet all Aya wanted to do despite his hesitancy was to bundle Yoji up in his arms and run. Run away as fast as he could until everything was left behind them. For a small damning moment, which Aya berated himself over later, he even forgot that he would be leaving his sister behind._

_Suddenly a soft thump echoed through the silence that had descended over the scene. Omi stifled a sob, turning into Ken's shaky embrace as Yoji let Asuka's corpse fall unceremoniously to the floor. The blondes sobbing had stopped, as had his shaking, which should have been a relief. Yet to Aya it just made his insides twist in horror. As the redhead watched his fellow assassin with obsessive detail he realised why he was so terrified by the sight of Yoji's seemingly calm form. It was as if Yoji had just stopped. _

_Completely stopped.___

_Stopped dead.___

_Aya had seen that look before, that look in the older mans back as he slouched putting his weight on his bent knees, that look in the loose hanging of his head, that limpness to Yoji's arms as they slumped against his sides, hands resting on the ground. He saw it in Aya-chan every time he had helped to move her from her bed when the sheets needed changing, or she needed a bath…_

_"Yoji…" he choked out before he could stop himself, taking an involuntary step forward._

_To Aya's intense relief Yoji's head snapped up in response to his name. Yet it was a long time before he brought his head round to look at his team mates, instead waiting to shuffle back a little from Asuka's corpse. Then he turned…and Aya wished to god that he hadn't…because he'd never wanted to see that look on Yoji's face as long as he lived, and he never wanted to see it again._

_It was dead. His eyes were dead. Yoji's eyes never looked like that._

_Aya may not have appreciated it all the time, but the redhead had found himself accustomed to the lanky playboy's attitude. His carefree smirk, his meaningful grin, that shine to his eyes that always showed that he truly believed that things couldn't get any worse than they already were. That shine was gone now. And without it, Aya thought Yoji looked dead._

_"Yoji," Ken's voice was uncertain and strained as he clutched at the sniffling Omi like a lifeline, "let's go."_

_There was a silence. Then Yoji stood, albeit a bit awkwardly, and stood swaying slightly before her corpse. It was almost as if he didn't really remember how to use his legs, the way he stood, or that it simply didn't matter to him any more. He didn't find it hard to step back quickly however as the slowly widening pool of blood that leaked from Asuka's throat touched his boot. It was only then that Aya noticed that the front of Yoji's coat was drenched with the sticky red life essence of his dead love. Yoji just turned then, fully turned away from what he had done, and walked out into the street without a backwards glance. His face was utterly blank. Ken and Omi followed his in reverent silence, Omi still wrapped warmly under Ken's arm. And I was left…_

_…left wondering how Yoji found the strength not to just put the same wire he'd used to kill his one love round his throat and pull it and pull it until he choked._

I couldn't have done it…or at least I thought I couldn't have. I vaguely remember thinking that night, the night Yoji had killed Neu when she turned on him, that if that had happened to me, if it had been little Aya-chan looking up at me with those dead eyes, that I would have just stabbed myself through the heart right there and then. Yet, when it had happened, I hadn't. I didn't get the chance. Yoji had snatched the blade from my numb hands before I could gather the wits to end myself.

"Damn you Yoji," I breathed, making the little puddle of tears shiver at the touch of my breath.

I rolled my face forward then, rubbing my hair into the small pool. I'm still not sure why; whether it was to soak it up to hide my grief from anyone who followed me into the training room, or if it was just to feel something against my skin that wasn't the pain in my limbs or the burning on my cheeks. Just as I managed to bring my facade into check, slipping my barriers back down with practiced ease, the door to my little hideaway opened cautiously. 

I had forgotten to turn on the lights when the sky outside had grown dim, too busy working myself into exhaustion practicing with my blade. As I had lain on the floor it had slowly faded to black without my even noticing. Yet it wasn't completely dark in the training room as silvery moonlight splayed in callously through the high windows, bathing everything in silver. It made everything look dead. It made Yoji's eyes look dead again as he stood, slightly slumped in the doorway, his ever present shades glancing in the darkness.

"…You okay?" he asked quietly, an ever so light waver in his voice betraying his unease.

I just lay there, not responding to his tender concern. I didn't deserve it. I wanted him to take it back, to just spit at me in contempt before ramming my own blade in between my ribs. I wanted him to hate me like I hated him, like I hated Omi and Ken, like I hated all of them for being able to handle their grief. I wanted to bring up my shields around my heart again, to not feel; I wanted to never feel again if that's what it took. Only she deserved my feelings now…I would only feel for her now. Only she deserved my pain.

I wanted to give it to her. 

I wanted it, and I would get what I wanted. In one swift motion I was on my feet, ignoring my hair as it stuck to my face with my tears and retrieved my fallen katana from the mat. Yoji had moved inside the doorway while I stood, not entirely inside yet still in, with his foot holding the door open; his very pose was offering comfort if it was needed.

And it was needed, but it would not be received. I would not receive that to which I no longer had any right. She needed my pain, she deserved it, and I would give it to her for as long as I was able.

"Are you?" he asked again as I placed my katana carefully back into its sheath and then back onto the wall.

"What do you think," I offered in a low growl, turning my eyes on him knowing full well how hard and ferocious they must look.

He didn't wince, he didn't even flinch. He just looked at me with those caring, sympathetic eyes. Eyes that echoed my hollow, aching grief; eyes that offered a shoulder to cry on for as long as it took until that grief was gone; eyes that almost said that they couldn't possibly understand the pain I was in because it must have hurt more than Yoji's own. And that just made me more determined in my decided course of action. Yoji had every right to feel sad; his pain was just as worthy as my own. Yet he had the right to happiness and to forget. I did not.

"I think that you should come down stairs and eat something," Yoji said softly, almost as if he believed that if he spoke too harshly that I would shatter before him into a million shards, "you've hardly eaten for three days now."

"I don't need food," I argued rewarding me with a slightly incredulous look from Kudo.

"Ran…" he started, but he had made the mistake before he even knew it would be so devastating.

"Don't you _dare_ call me that!" I shouted angrily, glaring at him in outrage.

Only she could ever call me that. Only she who would never speak again could ever have called me by that name. And she would never speak it again, so Ran was now dead. Only Aya remained. Aya, the living memory of the girl that deserved to live in his place; Aya, the man who would live solely for her, solely to avenge her on her killers; Aya, the one person who could keep her memory alive while giving her the only thing he could in penitence for his failure. His pain.

I stormed towards him, glaring past him to the faint light of the hallway that beckoned from below. Wisely enough he did move out of the way to let me past, his eyes not betraying his reaction to my words. But in his benevolence he couldn't bring himself to let me go, knowing what I was going through…or at least thinking he did. I was half way out of the door when I found his hand wrapped around my arm to stop me from my retreat. I tried to pull away, snarling dangerously as I felt his skin on my own, that tender touch that promised solace from the grief. 

"Aya…" he began again, hoping to quell my anger by giving me what I wanted. Yet he did this not even really knowing what I wanted in the first place. If he had, then I would have been dead right now with Yoji's wire wrapped around my throat.

"Let me go," I said slowly, letting the threat slip into my tone, "now."

"Not before you listen to me," he said shaking his head.

I couldn't take it.

"I said get your hands off me Kudo you fucking slut!" I screamed as I wrenched my arms from his grasp.

That reaction he couldn't hide from his eyes. He visibly flinched at my words as if I'd struck him with every syllable. He winced at the glare before managing to recover from the pure unadulterated hatred that poured from my eyes.  He didn't try again to stop me as I raged past him and all but flew down the stairs. 

I heard Omi ask me if I was okay as I passed him in the hallway. I simply shook off his big blue eyes, that concern, just the same as Yoji's. I tried not to listen to that little voice inside me that pleaded with me to just give into that caring gaze as I roughly grabbed him by the collar and pushed him up against the wall.

"The next person to ask me that stupid fucking question is dead," I growled down at his wide shocked eyes and I pressed my face closer to his, "understand?"

He could do nothing but nod. I continued to stare at him menacingly until Yoji, whose running down the stairs had eluded me in my rage, pulled me forcefully away from a now shaking Omi.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" he said angrily, unconsciously, or perhaps not so, putting himself between myself and the younger assassin.

"Why the fuck do you care?" I spat narrowing my eyes, "Didn't think you cared for anyone except yourself Kudo."

Now Yoji, for all his laid back attitude and seeming lack of interest in his surroundings has to be one of the most caring people I've ever met. Also he has one of the best tempers I've ever come across, and I always noticed that it was a hard job to irritate or goad him into getting mad. So when the anger flashed into his eyes after just one statement and a scrap with Omi I could see how frayed his nerves were.

-That's it, - I thought almost in relief, -hate me Yoji, hate me with all you've got.-

"I don't know if this is usually how you deal with loss Aya, but I can tell you now," he warned slowly, "there are easier ways, and I won't let you take it out on Omi…"

"Oh I'm sorry," I sneered, just feeding off all the most hurtful things that popped into my head to say what I said next, "I guess you wouldn't want me to hurt your little whore."

It was enough to make him snap. Although I doubt whether even a fully prepared Kudo Yoji who hadn't been worn into the ground over the past week could have dealt with that blow. In his current state I didn't blame him for what he did next one bit. Instead I welcomed it. With a snarl of fury Yoji's leapt forward and landed a punch on my jaw that could have easily knocked me out if I hadn't known it was coming.

"Yoji-kun!" Omi wailed, jumping up from his place against the wall to restrain the enraged older man.

Even after everything I did, and Omi was still trying to protect me. 

-Poor Omi. Poor, poor Omi, - I thought wistfully as I dragged myself away from the wall I had fallen against, -so innocent, so loving…just like her.-

I heard Ken's feet thumping urgently on the stairs. I heard Yoji give in to Omi's pull and turn from me with a derisive snort. I felt the younger teen's watery eyes on me. I felt the blood run satisfyingly down my chin from my split lip. I pushed from the wall and stalked into my room before Omi or Yoji could stop me, slamming the door behind me. I heard Ken asking what was wrong; I heard Omi's weak mumbling in reply and Yoji's silence. I couldn't stay here.

Grabbing my car keys I roughly pushed my bare feet into untied shoes, not even bothering to stuff the laces in. I barely even remembered to shrug my trench coat on over my bare chest and training pants before wrenching my bedroom door open. I pushed past Ken who was standing right in front of me, his hand timidly held out to knock. I didn't even notice how hard I had shoved him until I heard Yoji grunt as Ken rammed into him. I ignored him; I ignored them all with their concerned eyes and their understanding stares. I just pounded angrily down the stairs and walked briskly to the back door that led to the alley, not looking back once. 

"Aya..!"

Ken's concerned shout of my name was abruptly cut off as I slammed the door shut behind me. I unlocked my car, slipped into the driver's seat and backed out at a dangerous speed onto the road as fast as I could. Yet not fast enough to miss Ken, all big brown eyes and hurt, racing out the back door after me. He raced towards me with an athletes speed, but even his determination wasn't enough to reach me before I turned the Porsche and sped off along the road. I saw him run after me a little way before he was hidden from view as I turned a corner, his voice managing to float after me…

"Ran...!" the tone was sad and even a little worried.

-No, - I thought, - Ran is dead. Now I am only Aya…and I will honour her name by giving her what she deserves.

My pain.

AN: Please remember that this is an AU fic even though many events are either similar or the same to those in the series, so please don't kick my ass for anything you think is wrong. But feedback is very welcome, and this is my very first Weiss kreuz fic so don't be too harsh! Please R&R!


	2. You on my mind

Disclaimer; I don't own Weiss Kreuz or any of the characters, but that doesn't mean I don't get to muck with them nyuk, nyuk, nyuk…

Warnings: Language, violence, angst.

**The rough divide**

****

**Chapter 2**

"Is it that one?"

"No, it isn't."

Silence.

"What about that one then?"

"Look, don't you think I would have looked at that one _if_ it was that one?"

"Good point."

The clacking of keys.

"Well that one then?"

"YOJI!"

The sound of a chair screaming back against the floor and the stamping of a foot were the telling signs that Omi had finally lost his temper. There were some hurried steps and then a door slammed. I surmised, as I listened to the proceedings from my own room, that Yoji had been thrown out by an irate Omi.

-Good, - I thought wearily as I pulled on my trainers, -he'll work faster without that baka hanging over his shoulders all the time.-

There was a slightly exasperated sigh, the sound of material scraping on a wall and then a thump. I could almost see Yoji leaning against Omi's door with that stupid pout on his face. Trying not to sigh again I slowly tied my laces, focusing on the white strands as they looped and knotted. If I focused on them, then I wouldn't have to think about anything else. I wouldn't have to believe that I was really in the nightmare that had become my life; that had become all our lives…

A rustle of fabric took my eyes to the door. I waited for the knock. It took a little longer than usual, but soon enough the slight tapping of a gloved hand sounded on my door.

"Ken?" Yoji's voice was strangely hesitant, "can I come in?"

To tell you the truth I wasn't really in the mood for Yoji right now. Usually when I'm upset, the lanky assassin is the first person I turn to. He's like, well, a big brother I guess. But not right now. Right now, I wanted to be alone.

"Not just now," I told him, trying my best not to sound as defeated as I felt.

"Why?" Yoji's voice was genuinely surprised before he slipped back into character, "you naked or something?"

"No," I sighed, "just don't want company."

"Oh," the tone of that one syllable spoke the volumes that Yoji didn't as he went silent.

I moved on to the other trainer, tying the laces even slower. I rubbed at my chest absently, trying to help myself ignore the ache there. My hands seemed to be freezing up. In fact, my whole body seemed to freezing up. I just didn't want to have to live in this any more, I didn't want to have to think about what was waiting for all of us tonight, or tomorrow, or the next day…especially without him…

_"Don't cut them like that Aya, they'll all die!" I told him as I stole the scissors from his hands._

_I was rewarded with a glare and a frown. Oh man, this guy was too much._

_"Look, you have to cut the stems at an angle so that the flowers suck up more of the food in the water," I explained as I snipped the stems carefully, " or they only last half as long."_

_At least that softened his frown, but the glare remained. He took the scissors back roughly as I handed them to him, but give him his due he did follow my example. I just shook my head and continued to sweep the floor._

_It was always slow on a Wednesday afternoon. The fanclub was at school, everyone was doing their food shopping in town, and no one wanted flowers for some reason that I'd never really figured out. So I was sweeping the floor during the lull, generally tidying while Aya stocked up the baskets in the shop. I know that I always get stuck with cleaning, even when Omi is kind enough to offer his help (as if I could ever take him up on it when he gives me those big blue eyes!), but I don't really mind. It gives me a good opportunity just to watch him handle the flowers._

_I love to watch Aya prepare flowers._

_Okay that sounds strange I know, but it really is fascinating to watch. He's so delicate for a trained killer. Yet I suppose his weapon of choice allows him to be delicate while being strong. He always follows the same pattern as well when he strips them, yet I guess training with a sword would make you work in routines. He always picks flowers from the bunch without ever breaking them, pulling them from the entangled leaves with ease. Then he strips them of their leaves without ever breaking the stems, his long thin fingers wrapping around the stalk while he tears at the green strips. Then he cuts the ends (properly now) before slipping them into the waiting water. Then he does it again, and again, always the same, each just as much a pleasure as the last to watch. Usually he doesn't notice, or he just ignores me as I flick glances up from the floor while I clean, so I was surprised this time when he spoke._

_"What are you looking at?" his tone sounded genuinely intrigued, not angry or annoyed as it usually was._

_"Uh, what?" I started; and being the clutz that I am accidentally pushing my broom into a basket of iris's spilling the water onto the floor, "k'so."_

_"You're watching me," he said bluntly, "why?"_

_"You?__ I, err…I was just making sure you cut the stems right that's all," I lied quickly, not really sure what his reaction would be to –Well you see I think you look delicate and soft when your preparing flowers…-_

_I wasn't really convinced that it would go down well._

_"Hn," he grunted in reply, before adding, "you don't have too look out for me."_

_That was a shock. Was Aya…talking to me? I wasn't quite sure how to respond, yet I wasn't going to let this chance pass me by. Aya never talked to anyone more than he had to._

_"You can't think like that anymore," I berated him lightly, "you're part of a team now."_

_He seemed to ignore this, and for a moment I thought that his out of character reply had been just a one off. But just as I was about to go and get a mop to clean up the water he stopped pruning and put down his scissors. He stood there like that for a little while, almost as if he were contemplating my statement, even though his face was utterly blank and unreadable. _

_"I don't want you to risk yourself for me," he said finally, not looking at me as he said it._

_"What do you mean?" I asked, curious as to what brought this on in our usually stoic redhead._

_"On missions," he said matter-of-factly, picking up the scissors once more to resume stripping the flowers, "I don't want you to risk yourself for me."_

_"Aya," I said, unable to keep the frown from my face as I turned to him, hating myself for being forced to speak in clichés, "there's no I in team you know. A team is a whole, they act as one. If one part is lost then the team is lost, that's just the way it works."_

_"You three were a team before," Aya argued, flicking his hair back behind his ear as he worked, "you could fall back on that."_

_"No, Aya, look," I sighed exasperatedly, "you're part of the team now, and I refuse to accept that you still don't think of yourself as part of it after all this time."_

_"We all have our separate duties," he stated, "each is individual."_

_"Yes, but without one of those parts everything else crumbles," I argued, still amazed at the way we were talking, and the fact that Aya was talking at all, "it's like each of us is a support; without one everything tumbles down."_

_He frowned at this. Then he looked up at me and pinned me with those dazzling amethyst eyes. Yet he didn't say anything, just looked at me, almost as if he was trying to look into me to try and obtain the answer he was looking for. It was while before I could speak again._

_"Is this about," I wavered as his gaze became more intense, "last week..?"_

_"Yes…," Aya said clearly, "…don't do it again."_

_"You would have been shot if I hadn't pushed you…" I started._

_"And instead you got yourself shot," his tone was not as cold as usual._

_"You could have died!" I said in exasperation._

_"Don't make me repeat myself," he said turning back to his flowers once more._

_"The least you could say is thanks," I grumbled, continuing in my sweeping._

_Then there was silence once more and I had to sweep the floor. Yet I didn't even get the comfort of watching Aya as I cleaned, not now that he was in prick-mode. I turned my back on him, staring out of the window as if there was something fascinating there. I heard him lifting the now finished basket and place it in the rack with the others before he retreated towards the back room. I heard him stop just before he got there however, and then his soft footsteps as he approached me. I tried not to jump as he tapped my shoulder, and when I turned I found him not a foot away from me._

_"Ahh!__ Don't sneak up on me like that," I scowled, trying to calm my heart down, yet I wasn't sure if it was from the shock or from the fact that Aya was standing so close to me…but why would that mean anything anyway..?_

_"…I just wanted to say…" he hesitated and looked awkward, well as awkward as a man with an emotionless face can look, "…thank you."_

_I was stunned into silence as he retrieved my limp hand from my side and waggled it in his own. It took me a while to notice that in reality he wasn't waggling it, he was shaking it. I tried not to let my jaw hit the floor. I just stood there like a clutz and let him shake my hand, gaping at him despite my efforts not to._

_"Anytime," I finally choked out as he let my hand go._

_He just nodded, the faintest of blushes colouring his cheeks. Then he was gone in a flash of red and orange into the back room, leaving me with my hand still held out and a stupid grin on my face. How weird had that been, yet it was…relieving…to know finally that he did have emotions. That he did feel. Yet even more relieving that he did feel, did appreciate us, appreciate me…_

"Are you ever coming out of there?" Yoji's bored voice brought me back to the present and I started, not even noticing how lost I had become in my thoughts.

"In a minute," I called back, standing to grab my jacket and slip it on.

There was no way that I could live with myself if I let Aya…Ran, get hurt. Not now especially, not after everything that had happened. He trusted me, and I wasn't going to let him down just because he blew up at Omi. God, he'd done worse before, he'd left us before, and we'd always taken him back. Now that his sister was dead, now that the place was crawling with Estset looking for us, now that he was truly lost…I had to go look for him. Grabbing my bugnuks from the dresser I slipped them on, testing the release on the claws to make sure I had fixed them properly. They had been damaged in the last fight; some damn Estset telekinetic had blown me into a wall and fucked the mechanism. But it was working okay now, and it was working well enough to let me go out and look for Ran.

"Yoji, I'm coming out," I warned him before I opened the door.

I heard him shift from the door and then pulled it open. He looked up at me and shook his head slightly, yet it was more in resignation than surprise.

"You can't go out there," he told me as he stood, "we need to find him first, or at least get a lead before we try to get him back."

"Before we _get_ him back," I corrected him coldly, "and if we wait too long you know what will happen."

"It's not worth the risk of getting yourself killed…" Yoji started as he stood.

"Never stopped me before did it," I told him, "and so it wont stop me now."

"Omi will find him if you just wait…"

"I'm not going to JUST WAIT!" I shouted punching the wall in frustration, "I'm going out to find him before we have to bring him home in bags! So get out of my way!"

"No Ken, listen to me," Yoji stayed calm, but that only made me madder, "if you're going out then I'll come with you okay?"

"Then who'll protect Omi?" I argued, you remember what happened last time!"

"I heard that!" came Omi's voice from behind his closed door, then it opened to reveal a tired looking Omi holding his dangerous looking crossbow, "if you want to go look for him then go Ken-kun, but just be careful okay? And take Yoji with you, I'll be okay…"

"You will not be okay Omi," I snapped back, calming myself as he suddenly looked even more tired at my outburst, "look, I'm sorry okay? But I need to know that you guys are safe, I can't think right now, and if something happened when I wasn't here…I'd never be able…"

Silence fell then. I was fed up of these silences that seemed to be falling on us more and more often these days. So with an apologetic look at Omi and a stubborn look at Yoji I walked down the stairs and out into the night. They didn't try and stop me and I was glad…yet I almost wished that they would on a way; almost they same way I wished that Ran was back home with us, the same way I wished that his sister was still alive and we could all just be happy.

-Focus ken, focus, - I chanted to myself, -you need to just find him first before you go trying to change anything else. So, if I were a depressed, revengeful, redhead assassin where would I hide myself..?-

I tried to wonder where Ran would have gone as I straddled my motorbike and put on the helmet hanging from the handle bars. It rumbled and purred under me as I revved the engine, and I decided that, vainly…that I really had no idea at all where he would go. I didn't really know that much about him at all. I felt my shoulders slump a little at the realisation. I missed the flowers, I missed the Koneko. I wished nothing more than to be back there now on a sunny day just watering the plants. I wanted to hear Omi humming happily to himself as he bundled up the flowers into bunches, hear Yoji thumping down the stairs his usual hour late, hear Aya sigh and grumble at Yoji before helping me water the plants…

…But the Koneko was nothing but ashes now…along with my wishes. I felt a stray tear rolling down my cheek and blinked. I had to focus, had to just go and look for him. I wouldn't stay out too long, I wouldn't want Omi to get to worried and send Yoji out to look for me. I just didn't want him to be alone after what happened last time.

_By the time I figured out that it was a trap it had been too late. I found Ran and Yoji and pulled them to the car._

_"What are you doing!?" Ran shouted at me accusingly, and I had only glared back, "we almost had them!"_

_"It's a trap," I had shouted back, "I can't get in touch with Omi!"_

_"What do you mean?" Yoji asked, eyes widening slightly in alarm._

_"I mean that I was talking to him and the signal just went dead," I said hurriedly starting up the engine, "and didn't you notice how easy a fight it was. They were a diversion. They know where our base is, I just know it, so get in!"_

_We were on a mission while Omi had stayed back to direct us from afar. He had needed to be able to be at his computer at all times to co-ordinate the attack on an Estset faction base. We had never even thought that it might be a lure, it didn't show any signs of it…_

_…But when we had arrived back at our safe house five minutes later, with me driving like a maniac up over the pavement and everything, the place was a raging inferno._

_Now, I have a thing with fire, a bit of a phobia I guess, after what happened at the warehouse…so I guess I kind of froze up a little at the sight. The thought that Omi might be in there, like Kase had been…Yoji had been the one to run in, brave the flames fearlessly screaming out Omi's name in hope for a response. I had stood dumbly outside with my insides twisting up and tears stinging my eyes._

_-Oh god please, - I thought, -please don't die Omi, please Omi be okay.-_

_Those were some of the longest seconds of my life, futilely searching the flames and calling for Yoji and Omi as Ran stood impassively at my side. I hated his calm, hated it because I couldn't tell whether it was from self control or simply from the fact that he didn't care. I hated him! _

_"Dammit, come on!"_

_I had just had enough, was just about to damn my fear and run in myself when suddenly Yoji appeared through the fire. Omi was slung limply over his shoulder and he fell as Yoji dropped to the pavement in fits of coughing. I ran to them, helping Yoji up with one hand while checking Omi with the other. His t-shirt was half burned away and revealed an ugly burn along his right side. I winced at the sight but quickly checked his breathing…and found that he wasn't._

_"Dammit!" I yelled over the roar of the flames as I quickly set about performing CPR._

_I pumped his chest hurriedly, trying to keep my rhythm steady as the body under my hands remained unresponsive. _

_"Oh god…" Yoji choked out as he set bleary eyes on me, "…is he okay?"_

_"He's not breathing!" I said before lowering my mouth once again to Omi's, flinching at the taste of smoke and blood, "come on Omi breathe damn you!"_

_I continued to pump at his chest, tears rolling freely down my face as the smoke from the nearby fire got in my eyes, and also because Omi wasn't waking up. After another few tries I really began to panic._

_"Ken," I felt a hand on my shoulder, Ran's voice calm but slightly strained._

_I shrugged it off and bent down again to breathe life giving air into my friend, my brother, my family…_

_"Ken," he said again, "we need to go. It's too late…"_

_"Don't you fucking say it Aya!" I spat as I returned to pumping Omi's chest once more, "come on Omi I know you're not dead, you're NOT DEAD!"_

_Nothing.__ I heard Yoji crying softly to my right as he held a bloody wound on his right arm. I heard Aya's silence. I heard the faint wail of sirens. I didn't hear a thing from Omi._

_"Wake up," I slapped him hard as I choked back a sob, "wake the fuck up Omi! Damn you, wake UP!"_

_And then there was a cough, choking breath, and then blue eyes fluttered open. I thought I would die from the relief that flooded through me. He was okay, he was alive and we were all going to be okay…_

Yeah.

Right.

I absently revved the engine and felt my bugnuks release as I gripped the handle bars. I opted for going the way I had seen Ran go last, and then sped off to find him.

AN: I just want to say thanks for reviewing! If you hadn't I might not have continued this fic. I wanted to just leave it as a one off, but I guess that is kind of cruel considering it was a cliff hanger.

Umm, not sure what this chapter is supposed to do except expand the characters a little. There will be more action and angst up next chapter though! ^-^


	3. Time in a moment

Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss kreuz or any of the character's therein and so make no money from this, so no suing!

-_Denotes thoughts and inner speech_-__

_Denotes flashback_

****

**The rough divide – chapter 3**

****

**Time in a moment **

Time flies when you're having fun.

That's how the saying goes isn't it?

For me now, the moments last forever. I wanted to have some fun, wanted time to move again. I didn't want to live in this moment any longer than was necessary.

"I'll kill them," I muttered under my breath as I stood before the seemingly deserted warehouse, "I'll kill them all."

Yes, that would be fun; that would make the moments move faster. Yet I wasn't here to have fun, I was here for her. I am not allowed fun anymore; I never was, not since that day she was taken from me.

"Not allowed happiness, not allowed joy, not allowed love," I breathed out like commandments, walking towards the large rusted door that led inside the dilapidated structure.

I had been driving around for hours before I had figure out what it was I needed to do. Now here I was, ready to fight them, ready to revenge her.

The door fell back easily when I pushed at it, falling to the ground in a crash of dust and dirt. I didn't care about the noise as it echoed disturbingly through empty corridors. If they knew I was coming it would only make it the more interesting when I had to force through their shoddy defences. Imbeciles the lot of them, Esset scum. They were in here, I could tell, I knew. I knew because the voice told me they were.

-_Down the corridor to the right_, - it said, -_their in the central area, the factory complex_." 

She told me they were there.

"_Their in there, the one who helped kill me Ran, the ones who helped murder me_.-

I had first heard her when I was driving from the safe house. I thought it had been a figment of my imagination, or even an Esset trick. Yet as I listened more carefully I realised it wasn't, it was her. It was Aya. 

I wasn't sure how it could be so. I had always known that, ever since she fell into her coma that there had been a part of Aya-chan in me. I had felt her there, almost like I could feel her wherever I was, knew that she was alright, like a link. My logical mind thought that maybe it had now developed a voice, that link, now that I was seeking her vengeance, that perhaps I was going slightly insane. My irrational mind had decided however that it was her vengeful spirit come to haunt me, her spirit that could not rest due to the horrific manner of her death. All because of me…

-_Brother you must concentrate_, - her voice was sweet and fair, like balm against my boiling rage, -_you cannot afford to lose control_.-

"I wont fail you again," I responded to the voice, not feeling in the least bit insane…well not too insane.

Walking the dusty corridors, filled with debris and charred remains of fires made by squatters, I tried to control the anger that raged inside of me. It made me take longer strides than I needed, it made me think about nothing but the flowing of their blood, it made my hand automatically slip to my side to retrieve my katana…but my hand found nothing. I stopped short, looking down to the empty loop where I kept my sword, noticing absently that my shoe laces were still untied. I had left the safe house in such a hurry that I had forgotten to take it from the training room. Cursing under my breath I looked around for a suitable weapon from among the debris surrounding me. A large piece of steel piping caught my eye, its broken ragged edge glinting in the failing moonlight. It would do, anything would do. Yet my logical mind still nagged at me, forcing me to face the fact that I would not be able to defeat four fully trained Esset agents with my shoelaces untied and nothing but a piece of rusty piping for guard.

-_Do not fear_, - she said softly, again pushing at my rationality until it seemed distant and insignificant, - _you have the strength within you. I will give you what you need to avenge me._-

I felt a small smirk twisting the edges of my lips as she said these words. I suddenly felt like I could take on the whole of Schwartz by myself, never mind these four weak murderers. I felt power flowing through my very veins, just at the sound of her voice saying that it was so, and I almost believed for a while that she had truly given it to me. My logical mind tried desperately to gain a foothold, reasoning that this couldn't possibly be true. I ignored it as I turned back to face along the tunnel like corridor and began to walk. The pipe clattered and splintered as it dropped from my hands.

The door into the innards of the abandoned factory was completely different form the rest of the rest of the structure. It was large and grey, made of steel…re-enforced steel. The wall around this area was also new, strengthened so as to stop attack by just knocking down the wall. 

Did they really think that no-one would notice the difference? Amateurs. I stood there, wondering how the hell I was going to get past the impassable door when her voice slid through my mind once more.

-_Can't you feel it?_ - she asked me curiously, -_Can't you feel your power? It is not insignificant, that which you now posses. Why don't you try it?_-

I shuddered as I felt a pulse through my arms, spreading through my body all the way down to my toes. Again that feeling of invincibility seeped into my thoughts; it was that which gave me the arrogance to stand in front of the door, legs apart and steady against the ground; it was that feeling which dared me to place my hand upon the metal of the door and shove. It was that power however which made the strong hinges buckle and twist under the pressure of my hand. My power. 

The screaming of metal tore through the air, the groaning of the old building and crumbling of the wall around it. I barely heard the shouts from beyond the door, the hurriedly shouted orders, the scuffling of feet as the small force assembled to face the threat…to face me. My mouth once again formed a smirk as I thought to myself:

-_They have no idea what their up against_.-

With a final shove the entire section of the wall containing the door gave way and fell to the ground. There was another loud groan of protest from the building, but other than that it did nothing. I looked in shock at the door, but the feeling slowly slipped away. I didn't really care; I was much more interested in the people that were now before me. There were more than four, but there were only four from Esset. The other four I assumed were mercenaries or something of the like as they looked much more shocked by my actions than the Esset agents. They had probably never come across someone who possessed such powers before.

"So," I said as I slowly stepped over the rubble at my feet, the dust settling on my trench coat as I stopped before them, "who wants to go first?"

"Who the hell are you?" one of the Esset agents shouted as he held up the gun in his hand menacingly.

"You fool," anther one spat, "you know damn well that's Fujimiya! He's Weiss, we're supposed to be looking for them, remember?"

"Then what the fucks he doin' here..?" the agent with the gun snapped back.

"Quiet!" a third one shouted authoritatively, and I could only guess that he was their squad leader, "We are not here to argue. Dispose of him."

Before I could blink the Esset holding the gun pulled the trigger. I instinctively closed my eyes and tried to dodge…but something happened that overrode my fear and instinct. When her voice entered my mind this time it was so powerful that it almost blinded me.

-_OPEN YOUR EYES!_-

So I did, and my jaw fell at the sight. The Esset agents all stood, facing me, weapons drawn, and the one with the gun still held it up. Yet the bullet that was flying from his gun was moving as if through syrup, slowly making its way towards me. I noticed that the men around me were also moving very slowly, as if time itself had slowed down. Before I could do anything else however she once again spoke to me in that blinding voice, that voice that I could do nothing but obey.

-_USE YOUR POWER NOW!_-

In an instant my hand flew up in front of me, shielding me from the bullet. Before I even knew what I was doing I felt a slight wind against my cheek, I saw the bullet stop suddenly as if it hit a wall and then turn and fly back towards the man who'd fired it. Slowly he fell backwards, bouncing slightly on the ground. Then everything seemed to slip back to normal, and when I blinked everyone was one again moving in normal time. 

The blood from the fatal wound seeped through onto his white jacket. The man was dead.

How…odd. Yet, for some reason I did not wish to question this power I know had, this seemingly telekinetic power, and the power of superhuman reflexes and strength. In the short space of time in which I had gained them I had already come to accept them.

The Esset agents were staring at their fallen team member in shock. The mercenaries looked like goldfish, opening and closing their mouths in silent cries of terror and confusion. I just smirked at them and cocked my head.

"Then who's next?"

Then they all flew into action. One of them ran towards me, his hand slowly turning into a ball of flame, while his team mates leapt to the side and drew their own weapons. A pyrokinetic I surmised as I dodged with ease the ball of fire he sent flying towards my head. When he rushed past me, hoping to be able to turn again and let off another projectile I let my arms fly out super fast and catch him by the head. I pulled roughly; his neck twisted with a slick wet snap and he fell to the floor dead.  

I was about to smile again, but then I saw it, saw it as if it were really happening in my head; myself, standing where I was now, being shot to pieces when the mercenaries opened fire. It seemed so real, yet it had not happened yet, and then it was over in the blink of an eye. I pivoted suddenly and then leapt behind a large piece of decaying machinery. Just as my feet flew behind the huge structure a rain of bullets thudded into the far wall of the exposed corridor.

-_I…saw it? _- I thought, bewildered suddenly by the new sensation still coursing through my mind from the vision.

-_Yes, _- she said in answer, -_you are most powerful now, almost unbeatable. I have given you the ability of precognition. Use it wisely._-

Then suddenly the strange feeling of awe and wonder and fear slowly began to vanish as my reason was once again pushed from my mind. I suddenly felt as if there was nothing strange about having precognitive abilities, it was all perfectly normal.

The sound of whining metal pulled me form my reverie and I started. I felt the machine I was backed up against and using for cover shudder against me. I jumped up. One of the Esset was a telekinetic I assumed as I moved. I took a run and jump, moving faster than the human eye could follow, to land behind the next machine just as the other collapsed onto where I had been standing. I grinned to myself. This was amazing! I couldn't believe this was happening to me, yet in a way it all seemed like it was the way it was supposed to be. Then suddenly another sensation hit me, even more disorientating than the precognitive vision.

-_…kill him…I wish I could get that job…how can he move so fast…never told us…wonder what Mary wants for dinner…better pay us more for this…need to paint the car…Fujimiya's a telekinetic?_-

I almost bowled over as the rush of voices filled my head, cramming in to every available space and then clamouring away until I thought I would pass out from it. I could hear not only the voices of the men in the room but also the voices of what sounded like everyone else in the entire city! I clutched at my head futilely and only just managed to pitch myself through a hole in the wall which had been made by the fallen machine to safety. I dove through and landed sprawled on the floor just as the mercenaries bullets flew past me. 

-_Don't be afraid, _- her voice was calm amongst the others which invaded my mind, 

-_you must control them, do not let them over whelm you. Just imagine them all becoming quieter, imagine them in only one part of your mind. Push them together and keep them locked away._-

Again I was helpless but to obey her commands. I didn't even really know how I did it, the same as I wasn't really sure how I had turned the bullet to kill the Esset agent; but somehow I managed to quiet the voices down. Slowly the pain in my head eased, I managed to herd the voices together and push them into a dark unused corner of my mind. I fought back the wave of nausea that threatened to overpower and had to fight to stand up. Yet the more that I pushed the voices, the easier it became to stand. Finally I was once again in control of my mind, and I turned to face the two remaining Esset agents that barrelled though the hole where the door had once been and attacked. The first had a nunchuku, each truncheon like pipe with a long spike attached to the end. The other pulled throwing stars from a pouch at his waist. I just grinned manically at them and then ran forward to meet them in battle.

The voices had become a dull drone now, just beyond my conscious thought, lingering in my mind as I fought. I didn't question them, I just accepted it; just like I accepted everything else that was happening.

The nunchuku came flying up to meet with my face, but I dodged it just in time, jumping to the right as the other agent sent a throwing star at me using his telekinesis. I caught it just before it imbedded in my shoulder and then pivoted to dodge the other agent again, the nunchuku always just to slow to catch me. I could hear his thoughts, just barely.

-_This is fucking ridiculous! He's Weiss dammit! They don't have any fucking powers!_-

It made me smile. I smiled even more when he flipped his weapon in the air, ready to catch it again, and I snatched it from right in front of his face. Quickly I spun the long this pipes, using them to deflect the incoming throwing stars.

"Shit Vincent!" the now weaponless agent shouted to his commander, "What the hell's going on!?"

They didn't get the chance to finish however, as he soon found himself dodging my own attack with his rather dangerous weapon. I could feel the other agent, Vincent supposedly, pushing against me with his power, yet he wasn't a very strong telekinetic. Well, at least not compared to me. I sent my own power flying back at him just as I brought one of the spikes up through the other agents chin and right into his brain. I let man and weapon fall and turned to inspect Vincent who was now thoroughly buried into the corridor wall. There was blood running from his nose, and from the glazed look in his eyes, the vacant stare, I could tell he was dead.

-_You've done well brother, _- I was glad to hear her pleased, it made me so happy that she was proud of me, -_but you have not disposed of them all. You must kill them all, kill all of them!_-

"But they have guns…" I started pathetically, weakly.

-_Ignore that! You do not need to get close to them to kill them. They are weak in mind; kill them with your thoughts. Kill them!-_

And as I stood there, blood running down my hands, power coursing through my veins, my enemies, her enemies, dead around my feet…I hesitated. I hadn't hesitated the entire night, not since I had made up my mind back at the safe house that I was to be her vengeance. Yet here I was on the eve of my victory and I was having second thoughts! My reason was coming back into play, screaming at me like that Esset agent had done when I impaled him. The thought almost made me vomit. 

Then, all of a sudden, my mind seemed to waver and my vision blurred. I found the scenery around me shifting and changing; I tried to hold on to reality but the sensation was too strong. Before long I found myself in another place altogether, disorientated but still standing.

_It was a large room with many people standing in it. They were hard to make out but they were in two groups facing each other. It was pitch black apart from a spotlight trained on a table on which lay a girl…_

_"Aya-chan!" I screamed, but no sound would come from my throat, and when I tried to move I found I was rooted to the spot._

_Then I recognised the scene before me. It was the ritual room. It was the day Weiss fought for the final time before everything changed. It was the day Aya-chan died._

_"No! You get away from her!" someone cried out. _

_Then I saw myself in the gloom, Yoji at my side and Omi and Ken behind us. Then there was Schwartz, a barrier between me and Aya-chan. I saw the malice glinting in my eyes in the darkness, the shine on my katana as I drew it from its sheath. Then everything happened at once, just the way I remembered it. I leapt forward, striking out at Berserker who lunged into battle to meet me. Yoji's wire flew out and wrapped around Mastermind's arm as he dodged one of Omi's crossbow bolts. Ken jumped over the heavy box that Prodigy sent at his feet and then also joined the fight, slashing at Oracle as the older man raised his gun. _

_But I knew what was going to come, and the fight suddenly began to speed up before my eyes, running as if it were a movie with scenes missing, or as everyone was under a strobe light. There was the fight, then suddenly there was light around Aya-chan, then I was leaping for her…but she was already floating in the air, the light swirling around her._

_Then the blood began to run from her nose. From her ears. From her eyes. _

_I saw myself on the floor next with my blade lifted, pointed towards my own stomach. Then Yoji was dragging me away as Schwartz fled through a back entrance. _

_All that was left was Aya. All alone in the dark covered in blood…covered in her own blood…all over her nice white dress…_

Then it was gone. My head span and I fell to the ground, my surroundings spinning sickeningly. Yet despite my disorientation my bloodlust had once again risen. I could feel my anger, my rage, and my fury boiling inside of me, all over her death. Seeing it again, seeing myself helpless again brought it all home. I owed her this; I would do as she said always and forever. My rage continued to build. It was like a tsunami rising, ready to sweep over those who had done her harm, those who helped them, everyone…

The mercenaries suddenly plucked up the courage to run after me, freezing when they saw their dead employers.

I quickly reached out with my mind, wasting no time in finding those threads of speech that I had locked away. I found the ones I was looking for. My eyes narrowed and I let out a terrible cry so high pitched and blood curdling that I wasn't sure how it had even came from my own throat. They quailed before me as I threw my head back screamed louder latching onto each of their minds as they let their guards down. 

Then I let my rage flow. 

Each one clutched their head at the same time, screaming in agony in both body and mind as I slowly tore their psyche apart. 

Then suddenly everything went quiet again.

There was only the dull murmur of the ordinary people of the city going about their night, about their dreams and about their nightmares. I smiled a slow smile as I felt my sister do the same in my mind.

I would be their nightmare now.

AN: Well, that was fun! I've never really written a real action scene before so please let me know how I did. If you liked it then I'll definitely put more in! Oh and our boys from the black are up next chapter! Stay tuned and please R&R!


	4. From black to white

Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz or make any money out of these stories, so there!

-_Denotes thought and telepathy_-

_Denotes flashback or vision_

****

**Chapter 4**

****

**Fade from Black to white**

The Shikari Street neighbourhood was particularly peaceful tonight. No cars disturbed the sweet suburban air, crickets chirruped and the wind blew softly through the Japanese maples in the gardens. There was also, surprisingly enough, no sound coming from number forty five Shikari Street. The resident teenager was walled up in his room glued to his computer, the resident sardonic extraordinaire was sitting bored in a bedroom overseeing the resident fatherly figure as he lay sprawled on the floor. The resident psycho was actually screaming like a madman but because his room was soundproofed no one noticed.

Bradley Crawford, leader of Schwartz and Oracle of Esset, did not like waking up from particularly strong visions only to find himself on the floor. In fact, it really pissed him off. 

As the world slowly came back into view while his eyes refocused, he suppressed a growl at what he saw. Schuldich, sprawled along his bed propped up on one elbow as he bit his nails.

"Isn't that where I'm supposed to be?" Crawford said coldly as he pushed himself up on his still shaky arms.

Schuldich jumped at the sound of Crawford's voice and moved from the bed to help the older man to his feet. He frowned as Crawford staggered a little on his feet when he stood, wrapping an arm around his waist and moving him to the bed to sit down. Schuldich, for all his devil-may-care attitude actually did care for his team mates more than professionally, and he was worrying more than usual now. Although, as he helped his leader to his bed he did his usual good job of disguising this fact.

"Well, I have to make sure you're as cranky as usual," the flame haired German drawled, slipping back into character as he lowered the still shaky American to the bed, "or things would just be getting too weird around here."

"I'm not in the mood, Schuldich," Crawford said slowly, removing his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose between finger and thumb.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," the telepath said with a sigh, "to tell you the truth, I was a little unsure whether to move you at all. You didn't go your usual dead self this time, you were jerking around for a while. I didn't want to do you any damage, or myself for that matter. Nearly kicked me in the head when I tried to pick you up the first time."

Crawford didn't reply to that. His vision had been particularly strong, so much so that he almost felt as if he were experiencing the events he had seen. It had also been quite far into the future he had seen which always drained him of strength. Also these events were not exactly what you would wish to experience, which was why Brad was still shaking a little. His famed control was being elusive, yet anyone's control would be hard to bring into play when they had just witnessed the horrific death of one of those closest to them.

"What did you see?" Schuldich asked narrowing his eyes with concern.

"Schu," he avoided the question, taking a deep breath before turning to look at his fellow assassin, "I need you to gather Nagi and Farferello and get everything ready for a move."

"A move?" a red eyebrow arched, "Where are we going? Wait, why are we going? What did you see?"

"That's no concern of yours," Crawford warned him as he made to stand, knocking away the Germans steadying hand.

Despite his cold, selfish exterior Bradley Crawford did actually care for his team mates more than professionally, too. Heck, he knew how long he'd tried to hide it, and still did. Yet on a professional level he did not wish to make the German do something rash by letting him see the vision. Aside from that, on a personal note he also didn't want the flame haired man to have to see what he had seen; it had been very graphic and…disturbing to say the least. He just hoped Schuldich would drop it…he could always hope couldn't he..?

"Oh I think it might just be," the flame haired assassin smirked as he wrapped his hand around Brad's wrist, stopping him in his retreat, "considering it's me moving, and so I was probably part of that little movie you just watched in your head."

"Just follow my orders," Brad said emotionlessly as he replaced his glasses and shook off the German's hand once more.

Then, as he reached the door, he felt Schuldich take his last resort. The presence in his mind was more than familiar, yet it was still an invasion. Especially when the probe tried to break through the shields he had built up around his vision.

"Out," Crawford sighed inwardly.

"Not unless you tell me what the hells going on," the other said just as coldly.

"You really don't want to know," Crawford warned him, his back still turned to the German.

"I think I really do," Schuldich said standing, walking over to Brad, turning the taller man so as to look right into his eyes, "I think you should also tell me where we're going and why."

Crawford knew that Schuldich would never give up; he could see that keeping information from him at such a time as this would also be dangerous. Even though he and the German were close, Schuldich knew when to look after his own interests; especially when his own boss was keeping obviously dangerous and disturbing information from him.

"I want you to get Nagi and Farferello," Brad started to explain, seeing Schuldich's eyes soften as he did, "because we are all in danger if we stay here."

"Why? From whom?" the other assassin asked as he flicked a stray lock of hair from his face.

"From Esset," Crawford said patiently.

"Esset?" Schuldich frowned, "But why the hell would they attack their own operatives?"

"Because," Crawford cringed as he thought about the reason, "they have found out my plans, they know that we will soon harbour the power they hoped to gain through different means."

Schuldich's eyes widened slightly, his temper flaring despite how irrational he knew it was to get angry at Crawford.

"And just how the hell did they find out about your plans!" he snarled, "You weren't careful enough Brad, why the hell didn't you see this coming!?"

"Quiet!" Crawford shouted; Schuldich snorted but quieted down, deciding to glare at his leader instead, "I have no idea how they found out, but they have, and they will kill us."

"Then you saw our deaths?" the German asked slowly.

"Yes," Crawford avoided letting him know whose death by just nodding, letting the silence that followed calm him and give him the courage to say what he said next, "and as to your other question. We are going to find Weiss."

Schuldich's eyes didn't widen in surprise this time; instead they narrowed in contempt at the sound of their rival's name. His hands fisted at his sides menacingly as his temper once again blazed.

"What the hell do you think you're saying?" Schuldich didn't shout, but his icy tone was much more threatening, "Weiss? You want to team up with goddamn Weiss!?"

"It's our only chance," Crawford told him calmly.

"Our only chance!? Yeah, our only fucking chance of a quick death!" the flame haired man spat as he gestured wildly, "you've lost your mind Bradley, you've lost your fucking mind!"

"Au contraire," Brad couldn't help but smirk at the out of control redhead before him, "I think that's you you're describing."

"Don't you start getting sarcastic with me," Schuldich warned his leader as he started to pace absently in front of him, "that's my job. Your job on the other hand is to see the future and make good decisions based upon it. I do my job well enough, why the hell can't you!?"

"Don't you dare question my ability," Crawford glared at his team mate, his voice like ice, deadly and cold.

"Yeah, well don't force me to by telling me this shit," Schuldich was the only member of Schwartz who would ever dare to stand up to Crawford when he became this dangerous. Even Farferello, mad as he was, knew when to stop.

""This shit", as you so tactfully put it, is what's going to save your ass so don't bother slating my idea before you have heard all of it," Crawford managed to calm himself once more, but he didn't know how long it would last.

Schuldich looked like he was going to complain again, but just as Crawford got ready to punch him the German settled. Crossing his arms over his chest and settling back against Crawford's desk he sighed.

"Shoot," he said with a smirk.

"Esset, after the failed re-incarnation of The One, have fallen into disarray as you well know," Crawford began, "yet there is still some power left in them. In my vision I saw deaths, yes, but their manner was…more disturbing than the fact that any of us died. There was something there that I could not see, some power, some…evil. It wiped us out in a matter of minutes."

Schuldich's eyebrow arched at this. He could tell that Crawford was worried, even though his demeanour was seemingly calm.

"And what does this have to do with Weiss?" he asked casually.

"This has everything to do with Weiss," Crawford said coolly, "because they are our only hope of beating this power that I sensed. If we join with them, then I am certain it will be enough to counter the threat. If we stay alone however, both our teams will die. It's as simple as that."

"Yet what's not so simple is the fact that they would never have us anyway," Schuldich pointed out, "in case you don't remember, they hate our guts and would love nothing more than to impale us on sharp spikes while doing rather nasty things to our genitalia."

Crawford snorted a laugh, "You've been in Kudo's mind again haven't you."

"Could I ever resist?" the German waved his hand nonchalantly, but turned serious once more as he locked eyes with Crawford, "But that doesn't matter. What does matter is that they would rather die than join with us, no matter what they were up against."

"Yet that's just what would happen," Crawford told him, "they would die. And while they do have their own personal feelings, don't you think that their concern for the well being of their team mates would over ride that hatred?"

"I'm not sure if that would even do it," Schuldich informed him with a sigh, "they all know each other too well ad they know each other's feelings towards us. Despite all that, Abyssinian would never allow them to consider otherwise."

"Abyssinian will not be a problem," Crawford said with a shake of his head, "he is no longer with Weiss."

"What!?" the redhead shouted, "Why the hell didn't you say so?"

"It wasn't important," Crawford shrugged, "and anyway, I only recently discovered this for myself. I'm not even sure how permanent the arrangement is. He left them before and returned with ease into their group, and I am not saying that the same thing may not happen again."

Schuldich growled in exasperation.

"Some bloody Oracle you are!" he huffed, ignoring Crawford as he bristled at the insult, "Are you certain of anything?"

"This plan is non negotiable Schuldich," Crawford said as he once again reached for the door handle, "I will not sacrifice my team out of pride and enmity. You're all worth more than that to me."

The redhead froze, his eyes wide with disbelief, his mouth half open to shout some cocky comeback. He clamped it shut quickly and just stood and watched his leader in closely concealed shock. Crawford mentally cursed, hating himself for his lack of control over his emotions. This only made Schuldich smile, a small genuine smile the type of which very rarely graced his lips. He once again walked over to Crawford, yet this time without anger or frustration. He stopped a mere few inches from the taller man, looking up into his eyes with a sincere gaze.

"Then we'll follow you," he nodded slowly, taking hold of the other man's shoulder and letting his smile fade back into the familiar smirk, "you've never steered us wrong before, right?"

Crawford just nodded curtly, returning Schuldich's gesture before letting the German slip past him to the door.

"I'll go gather the flock," Schuldich's tone was once again sarcastic and care free, "that's if we can ever persuade Nagi to leave his beloved computer behind, and Farf will insist on bringing _all_ his knives and that damn blender…"

The flame haired man was half way out the door before Crawford heard a familiar voice in his head over the German's constant rambling.

-_We would do the same for you._-

When he turned to say something back however, Schuldich was already gone. The mental link was cut off, and Crawford took that as a sign that his team mate…his friend, wanted to be alone for a while. 

"Thank you Schu…" Crawford said to no one in particular, "…I know you would."

Yet even as he began to hurriedly gather together the essential things that he would need before setting off to Weiss's new base, Crawford couldn't get his vision to stop haunting him.

_"Goddamn it Brad get down!"_

_The tall American only just managed to leap out of the way as blade after blade flew past his head. He cursed himself for not seeing it coming, and cursed even more when his power once again failed him. His precognitive abilities seemed to have left him completely, leaving him completely in the dark as to the enemies' next move; and that wasn't good. Especially when your enemy knows you, and especially when your enemy is six fully trained Esset agents with a back up crew._

_-_What the hell's wrong with you Crawford?_- Schuldich's voice sounded in his mind, even as he watched the redhead dodge a bolt of electricity that sparked from one of the agents weapons._

_-_It's my power Schu, it's gone, it's not working, -_ he thought back tried not to sound as panicked as he felt._

_-_What the fuck do you mean not working!_-__ the German's voice roared back, _-Nice timing Crawford, real nice.-

_Nagi and Farferello were already falling back to the living room, with Crawford and Schuldich still in the kitchen. A couch flying out of the lounge told Crawford that Nagi was still alive, even though he had seen the boy bleeding quite badly before. He leaned out from behind the counter he was using for cover and let off an entire round into an Esset agent who had been foolish enough to break his cover to try and get to a better position. The man fell to the ground dead, but there was already another one to replace him. Crawford snarled in rage._

_"Well," Schuldich tried to smirk confidently as he dropped down beside Crawford behind the counter, "this is fun."_

_"This is no time for joking," Crawford said seriously, "I need you to take out the agents after Nagi and Farferello. You have to give them safe passage out of here so that they can get to safety."_

_"And us?" the German asked seriously._

_"…I'll think of something," Crawford smirked back as he felt the room shake from Nagi's power._

_The redhead hid his shock at the heroic gesture Crawford was insinuating they make, but he did not question it. Without hesitation he let his mind flow out to the agents laying siege to the lounge who had been distracted by Crawford's firing. As soon as the men's defences were down Schuldich was inside their minds, making quick work of the men's psyches. They both fell to the floor in agony, clutching their heads futilely before their eyes glazed over and rolled up into their heads. He quickly pulled back into his own mind and turned back to Crawford who was shooting around the counter once more._

_"Well, at least…" the redhead began, but his smirk suddenly failed as his eyes widened in shock and terror._

_"Schuldich?"__ Crawford frowned with worry as his friend didn't reply, "are you hit? What's the matter!?"_

_But Crawford received no reply from his fellow assassin, the flame haired man's eyes widening more and more as he tried to push himself further and further back against the counter as if to escape something. The American stopped shooting and focused on his team mate, taking hold of his arm to stop him from pushing himself completely from behind the counter and into the line of fire. But as he did this Schuldich's eyes became impossibly wide and his mouth fell open._

_"…No…" was all he managed to breathe out before his hand automatically flew to his head and landed calmly over his right temple._

_Then all of a sudden the German let out a bloodcurdling cry of pain, clutching at his head as the two dead agents had done moments earlier. Crawford tried to restrain him, pushing him back against the counter while firing around it to keep the enemy at bay. _

_"Schu!" he cried desperately over the sound of battle and death, "Speak to me dammit!"_

_Yet he could get no sense from the flame haired man. Schuldich merely mewled in pain and tore at his hair, digging at his scalp with his nails as if he was trying to claw his way into his brain. Or claw something else out._

_-_No…-_ was all the American could think before he saw the tell tale blood leaking from Schuldich's nose as his team mate thrashed wildly under his grasp._

_"Dammit Schu, fight it! Fight them!" he cried in vain as Schuldich bucked against the counter, his back arching and his mouth opening in a silent scream._

_"OUT!" the redhead screamed in pain, finally finding his voice, "GET IT OUT! Get it out of my head!"_

_"I can't…I…," Crawford had never felt so helpless as he pulled his friend back against his chest and held onto him tightly, "…don't know what to do…"_

_"Ohgodithurtsithurts," Schuldich's words slurred together as he shuddered in Brad's grasp occasionally tensing madly but no longer thrashing, "helpmeBradhelpmepleasehelpme."_

_"Stop it!" the American shouted to whoever was doing this, firing off another clip as an Esset tried to sneak around while he was distracted, "Get out of his mind!"_

_Just as these words left his mouth he felt Schuldich's body tense to breaking point. He looked down to see blood running from the redhead's ears, from his nose, even from his eyes falling down his cheeks like crimson tears. But that wasn't the only injury. As he looked on in horror, he could do nothing but watch and listen to his friends screams as there was a sudden explosion of blood from his abdomen. It was as if his innards had ruptured with enough force to break through the skin. Blood spurted from Schuldich's mouth and his scream turned to a hideous gurgling sound. Crawford fought the urge to vomit as he stared down at the gory mess under the German's green coat. Amazingly enough however, he was still alive. His eyes were glazed as his head fell back against Crawford's shoulder, staring vacantly at the ceiling as his breath came in sporadic gasps._

_"…Brad…helpme…please…" he breathed, his breathing becoming more and more infrequent._

_Crawford just looked down at him. He felt numb, even though the rage and hate flooding through his system was willing him to stand up and just shoot everyone in the room and keep on shooting even after everyone was dead; however he just sat there, Schuldich sprawled across him, blood soaking his body from the multiple fatal injuries all over his lean form and felt tears run down his cheeks._

_He was crying. He hadn't cried in eighteen years._

_He cried as he felt Schuldich's last few dying gasps pall against his neck, he cried as he watched the redhead's eyes roll up into his head and his eyelids close for the last time. He suppressed a cry as he felt the German's voice in his mind before his consciousness finally left him._

_-_…Run…-_ was all he said._

_And then there was the crunching of boot heels on broken glass. The sound of material rippling in the wind that flowed through a broken window. Crawford could hardly bring himself to look away from his friend's now calm face to gaze upon his enemy. But he did. The tall dark figure before him merely gazed back down with a seeming emotionless ness. Their face was obscured, and just as a stray beam of light illuminated their features…_

_"It can't be..!"_

_…everything went black._

"It can't be who!" Crawford punched his dresser in frustration.

He couldn't believe that his vision had cut out just before their new enemy's identity could be revealed. He reached into the dresser to retrieve his wallet and absently noticed he was shaking again. Crawford was very glad that Schuldich hadn't bugged him enough to get him to show the redhead the vision. The American was disturbed beyond belief by the thought of his friend dying in such a horrific manner; he didn't know how Schuldich himself would take it.

"But that's not going to happen," he said firmly as he stuffed his wallet into his jacket pocket, "and I'm sure Weiss wouldn't want that to happen to any of their own people."

With a firm resolution, Bradley Crawford, leader of Schwartz, set off to find his old enemies, soon to be his new allies.

AN: I know I wrote this one in the third person while the others were written in the first, but I couldn't decide who's point of view to have it from exclusively. I found it much easier to write like a narrator, and if it bugs ya then sorry about that but that's just the way it is ^-^ ! Feedback is welcome as always, please R&R!


	5. Tears, blood and revelations

**Chapter 5 **

****

**Tears, blood and revelations**

For all that I love my computer, sometimes it can be a right uncooperative bitch.

"I'm never going to find him," I groaned as I clicked onto the next page of searches, "numbers fifty to seventy five of two thousand…"

I tried not to slam his head off the keyboard at the thought of having to review all the files I had just found. There were two thousand in this new search, and that was after I had narrowed the search ten times. The first number of possible leads I had found had made two thousand look horrifyingly insubstantial. 

"No…no…no, no, no," my voice was sour and tired as I dismissed link after link, broke in to secure website after secure website, "this is hopeless."

Yet I wouldn't give up. I never give up. Not when it comes to my friends. I wouldn't give up…but that wasn't to say that it wasn't draining all my reserves of hope by looking. It seemed so hopeless, trying to find a man who did nothing better than hiding himself away. Ran knew best how not to be found, and he was showing me now just how good he was at what he did best.

As I flicked through another set of windows, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. As if I didn't have enough on my mind already ne? Yet I couldn't help it, I'm a worrier, that's what I do. That is why I let my mind stray to Ken as the screen flashed in front of me, let myself hope that he didn't do something stupid, like run out of petrol, or get into a fight, or not come home…

"Omi!" Yoji's familiar bawl crashed up the stairs, "You want anything to eat?"

"Not hungry," I called back, blinking at the screen to clear my head and try to focus.

"Yeah, yeah, I bet you're not. When's the last time you ate young man?" Yoji sounded too much like a mother not to make me smile.

"Alright," I decided arguing with the older man would be as fruitless as my search was seeming to be and so acquiesced, "I'll have what you're having."

"Sugoi! I get to choose! Well…uhh…not much here," Yoji's reply was accompanied by much rustling and other scavenging noises.

"I don't mind what it is!" I called back down with a grin, "just make sure you cook some extra for Ken-kun and Ran-kun."

It was out of my mouth before I even thought there was anything out of place about my request. The rustling from downstairs abruptly stopped. Then I realised what I had just said. My fingers froze on the keys, and it took a lot of effort just to get them moving again. 

There was still no noise from the kitchen. 

I tried to ignore it, and blinked when my eyes began to sting. There was no point in getting upset; there was no time for it. I hoped that Yoji would just ignore my slip, forget it as I was trying to do now. 

Then I heard the thump of feet on the stairs, and I hoped that Yoji was just going to the bathroom. I didn't want to see him, didn't want to see the sympathy and the hurt in his eyes. So I tried to ignore the sound of footfalls moving gracefully along the corridor, ignore them as they walked into my room and stopped behind my chair. I tried to ignore the lump rising in my throat at the thought that Ran might never be coming home.

"Are you alright?" Yoji's voice was calm but compassionate, and it didn't help me retain my own calm. 

He always knew when I needed help, always knew when I would be upset by something, need support; it was so…sweet. It made the lump in my throat double in size.

"I'm fine," I said back, not looking at him as I continued my search, "just…made a mistake."

"Omi, please, look at me," his voice was full of concern and kindness.

How could I refuse that? So I turned around and looked at him, quite confident that I could hide my inner hurt…until I saw his eyes; those deep jade coloured orbs that now sparkled with some unknown feeling. It was as I gazed into those eyes that I understood. The feeling there wasn't just sympathy, it was empathy. It was then that I knew it, knew that it wasn't just Ken and I that were concerned about Ran. It was Yoji too…and that hurt me and made me feel overwhelmingly glad all at once. 

I flew into his arms without another seconds thought. He didn't seem surprised at my action, and his strong arms were quick to close around me as I let my tears fall in silence onto his shirt.

"It's alright," he said into my hair as he rubbed my back soothingly, "you don't need to hold anything back with me, you know that."

"I know," I sniffed, jut relishing the feeling of Yoji's shirt against my face, his warmth around me, his smell…"it's just…everything I guess."

"I know what you mean kid," Yoji sighed as he pulled away from me, tilting my chin up to look at my tear stained face, "but we can't let it get on top of us. We need to be strong, or we'll never survive this nightmare we've been dropped into."

"I know and I'm trying," I said sincerely, "but sometimes it feels like my strength is all I have left, and now…I feel so weak."

"Omi," Yoji smiled softly as he pulled me back into his comforting embrace, "what about hope? There's always hope."

"…Hope…" I tried not to cringe at the scepticism in my voice, "it's been a long time since I felt any hope."

"You want to borrow some of mine?" I could almost see the silly grin on the older man's face and I couldn't help but smile into his hug.

"You want it back after I'm done with it?" I replied jokingly, feeling my spirits lighten as Yoji laughed.

"Well, think of it as along term loan then," he said pulling away once more, ruffling my hair and laughing again when I scowled at the parental gesture, "I'm going to make dinner."

"Mhm," I nodded to him as he walked out the door, giving me a thumbs up before he left.

I sat back down at my computer, amazingly enough, even more determined than when I had started my search over three hours ago. God, I really did need him didn't I, need all of them. I know that I speak of them as my family, as my brothers…but they're so much more than that. I'm not sure how you can get closer than family, but the four of us, we have. It all happened after Aya-chan was killed by Esset, and suddenly it felt like the whole world was against just us. We are completely alone, no one to trust except each other and no one to rely upon except each other. It's enough to make a family…all part of one whole I guess. It's like we're one person split into four, we all make a single person. That's what Yoji told me once, after my accident in the fire.

_"Hey Kid!" _

_Yoji's voice is an amazing thing. It can either be the most charming, loving, beautiful thing you have ever heard in your life…or it can be so annoying it makes you want to rip your hair out. Unfortunately, now was a hair ripping moment, and I really wished it wasn't._

_"Please don't shout Yoji-kun," I said hoarsely, coughing on the words and bringing up some horrible black soot in the process. _

_"Oh, hey sorry," he offered more quietly as he stepped in the doorway to the emergency unit, "didn't mean to startle you."_

_"That's alright," I said wiping the black stuff away before he saw it; I would have shaken my head to reassure him if it didn't hurt so much._

_"I brought you some flowers," he smiled prettily, pulling out a bunch of Freesia's from behind his back and stuffing them into my face._

_Actually, that wasn't as annoying as it sounded as it gave me time to inhale the flowers unique scent deeply. He just grinned at me and put the flowers on the bedside table, sitting himself onto the chair by my bed._

_"I'll get some water for them," he said, an apologetic look in his eye, "before I go."_

_"You have to go? I thought it was your turn to keep watch?" I asked, a little put out by the thought of Yoji leaving and Ran coming to keep me company._

_"No, well yeah it is my turn, but old wonder Ran has decided that I have to look for a new place for us all to stay because I have contacts all over the city, yadda, yadda, yadda," Yoji made a bored hand gesture the familiarity of which made me smile._

_He always seemed so carefree, so able to bounce back from anything. After Asuka…Neu, I seriously thought that Yoji would kill himself. He had seemed so broken, so empty. But then, just as he seemed about to give up, he just…bounced back. And everything went on as normal, or as normal as it could be. I often wanted to ask him what made him carry on, what gave him the strength to overcome such loss, but I never worked up the courage to do it._

_"How's your side doing?" he asked, his face suddenly serious._

_"It's not too bad," I lied, wincing as he stroked the bandages ever so lightly._

_"Not too bad huh?" he said with a sad smile and a shake of his head, "I'm just glad that it's only your side and not your whole body, kid."_

_"It isn't, thanks to you," I said, locking his eyes with a sincere gaze._

_"Yeah…well, you can't really thank me, it was Ken who noticed there was even a trap in the first place…" he began to babble modestly._

_"Yoji," I smiled back at him, feeling my spirits lift just at the sight of him being, well…Yoji, "you ran into a burning building to save my life. I'll…never forget that."_

_"Gee Omi," he grinned, his eyes however holding a smile that was just for me, "you sure know how to compliment a guy."_

_"How…" I started confidently, but felt a lump rise in my throat as he looked at me expectantly with those deep green eyes._

_"How what?" he frowned as I clammed up, "Omi?"_

_"…How do you go on?" I said in a small voice, looking down at the covers with sudden interest._

_His eyes widened a little at the statement, but his shock soon turned to frown. I felt my anxiety rise at the thought that I had made him angry in any way. I just felt so…hopeless. I needed to understand that drive, I needed to know how he did it._

_"Omi," he said, his face serious as he took my hand gently, "I do it for you."_

_My heart skipped a beat as he smiled._

_"I do it for Ken, hell even Ran," he said laughing lightly, "we're family, we're four parts of a whole now. I couldn't just leave knowing that I would be leaving you all behind."_

_I just nodded to him, even smiled when he ruffled my hair, even though it usually annoyed me more than anything. I just kept on smiling at him. Even when Yoji kept talking, and my eyes began to drift together out of weariness and just that safe feeling that I get around Yoji that lets me sleep soundly, I kept smiling. I still smiled when I felt his hand on my forehead, brushing stray hair from my face. I still smiled when I felt Yoji move beside me and then a soft kiss was planted on my brow._

_"Sweet dreams, Omi-kun," he whispered, and then I was asleep._

Yes, we were one whole, nothing without the others. And now one of the whole was missing…and I was going to find him.

I was just about to close the window I had opened when I noticed something strange about the wording. The harder I looked at it, the more I began to recognise the pattern in the wording.

"Code?" I frowned recognising it finally as the Esset code. 

Dragging and copying the relevant words and passages into a new document. This was the best lead I had found so far, and I had almost missed it in being so careless. After about five minutes I had all the relevant information. I re-arranged it. I read it.

"Oh my god…"

My eyes widened at what it read.

"It's…"

I couldn't believe it. My had flew to my comm and I instinctively called Ken, my mouth still hanging open at the revelation that shone at me from the computer screen.

-------------------------------------------

-_Where are you?-_

My motorbike sounded tired as it rumbled underneath me, if that's even possible. I empathised with it. I felt like I was going to fall off the stupid thing and kill myself I was so tired.

-_Where are you?-_

I couldn't stop the silly, futile little question from running like a broken record in my head. I was chanting it like a mantra, almost like I believed that I might get a reply if I said it enough.

The streetlights had long since sputtered into life, their light casting a sickly white glow over everything. The moon was also out in full and showering everything in its own pale light. It made it hard to distinguish any colours; everything was the same dead bone white. I hated searching at night time. 

-_Where are you Ran?-_

It was kind of pointless, me searching out here on my bike. I know how good our resident redhead is at hiding himself when he doesn't want to be found. Yet, at least I was doing something. Sitting in my room like a spare part while Omi searched for him had been mental torture. I couldn't have taken that much longer. Even if the chances of spotting him or anything useful were very slim, at least I was doing my part.

-_Why did you go?-_

Well at least my question was changing now. I was getting a little tired of the old one. Yet this one seemed just as futile, if not even more, than the other. I had no idea what had made Ran say those things and then storm out into the night. I mean, he could be a cold bastard at times, but he was never purposefully horrible or tactless. Calling Yoji a slut and Omi a whore was just not his style. There was something very wrong with this whole situation and it was getting to me. If there was something very wrong, I wanted to do something about it; I wanted Ran back so we could straighten it out. But of course he'd run off, like he always did.

-_I'm never going to find you…_-

Can't think like that, I just can't. Not after everything we've been through together, not after everything that I learned from him, about him, about me…

-_I really need him, god I really need him_.-

I couldn't live without him. None of us could.

-_Where are you Ran?-_

"Ken?" I jumped at the sound of a voice in my ear, thinking for one irrational moment that my thoughts had been heard and that Ran was really talking to me, "Ken do you copy?"

"Omi?" I said back into the little comm on my jacket; I must have slipped them on subconsciously before I set out to look for Ran, "What is it?"

"Ken, I need you to get back here right away, it's urgent, "his voice was crackly and static over the comm., but I was sure I heard shock and fear in Omi's voice as he spoke, "I've found a lead."

"I'll be right there," I said back, my heart racing at the very thought of a lead of any kind, especially at the thought of one that made Omi sound so scared.

With that I braked suddenly, spinning my bike around in a cloud of smoke as the tires squealed against the tarmac. I let everything else fall away from my mind, focused solely on getting home. I tuned out the cars, I tuned out the lights, and I tuned out the honking of horns and the angry shouts. 

I tuned out so much that I even missed the dark figure watching me from the shadows as I ran a red light.

-------------------------------------------------

I hate to cook because I'm not exactly what you would call a gourmet chef. I'm not really that good in the kitchen. In fact scratch that, I can't cook at all. I wasn't surprised that Omi had said he wasn't hungry when I had offered to get him something. He was probably doing himself a favour. But that didn't stop me cutting up the potatoes and onions into little cubes and chucking them into the frying pan.

He was so upset.

They started to sizzle as soon as they hit the pan, sputtering as the juices ran into the thick oil. I pushed them half heartedly around, watching with detached interest as they began to brown. Did I mention I hated cooking?

He cried onto my shirt like he'd lost someone.

I started on the beef next, cutting it into thin strips. As I hated to cook I only knew the most basic of recipes. Nikujaga [1] was my speciality, even if I did usually over cook it.

His eyes…they were so lost…he looked like he'd lost all hope.

The knife slipped as the vision of Omi's haunted eyes clouded my vision, cutting through my finger. I hissed and swore colourfully at the blooded knife, anger rising in me at the thought of everything. 

………Ran's insults…………………………………………………………..................

………………………………Ken's fear.…………………the Koneko burning………. little Aya-chan's death………………………………….my Asuka…………………….

……….Omi's haunted eyes…

In a fit of rage that I couldn't contain, one that had been building within me since this nightmare had begun, I pulled back my arm and then threw the stupid knife into the wall with a cry. I scowled at it as it wobbled back and forward making an odd reverberating sound as it tried to still itself. 

Then I noticed how out of control I was getting and tried to clam down. I had to calm down, I needed to be alert.

I stuck my injured finger in my mouth and with the other hand chucked the meat into the pan and then filled it with water. I chucked the soy sauce and sugar in haphazardly, not really caring how much of each I put in. The taste of blood in my mouth was bitter and I pulled my finger out to get a plaster on it. Putting a lid on the "dinner" I rummaged in the cupboard under the sink for the first aid kit. Finding it I chucked it onto the table and then threw myself into one of the chairs around it. I pulled out a plaster and opened it with my teeth, not really caring if it tore. It wrapped around the cut just nicely, stopping the sticky red liquid that flowed from it onto the tale top.

"I hate this," I muttered as I secured the little plaster on my finger, "I really hate this."

Omi of all people. I mean Omi, he was the centre of our group faith, our infinite font of hope and…and now he'd lost it all. He was having to rely on _me_ of all people just to make it through one slip of the tongue. If that was how low Omi felt, how the hell were the rest of us supposed to cope? It had taken all I had not to just break down with him up in his room. It would have been so easy, so nice, just to let go and simply…feel. Simply feel all the grief and pain and let it take me over. I had never really done that before. The only time I can think of was the day I killed Asuka with my own hands. I had let go then, let myself feel, and it had almost killed me. Yet I hadn't let it take me, I had fought against it and won…but only for their sake. I had just enough compassion left to make myself care for someone else before I considered killing myself. And it was all thanks to him.

_My wire slipped from my watch like a silk thread, weaving through the air towards the man holding out his gun. It wrapped around it effortlessly and I pulled it from his grasp before he could even fire a single shot. Not that I would have cared if he had._

_-_Just kill me, let me die, please._-_

_I had killed her. I had killed her with the very wire I was using now to kill more people. I was a killer and I didn't deserve to live._

_"Yoji," Omi's voice had sounded over the comm, "the target is one floor up, third door right."_

_"Got it," I said back emotionlessly as I felt my victim struggle and flail on the other end of my wire._

_Then the wire went loose and I let it slide back into my watch with detached fascination. I stepped over the man's lifeless corpse and headed up the stairs, not really caring whether or not I killed the target or not. Not really caring whether I lived through this mission or not. _

_That's why I didn't notice the man with the gun in the shadows, his eyes glinting with fear and desperation as he raised it and pointed towards my head. That's why I was taken completely by surprise when I was tackled to the ground and the resounding crack of a gun went off not two feet from where I had been standing. Then there was a scream and the gurgling noise of someone choking on blood. I looked up in surprise to see Aya looming over me, katana buried deep into the gunman who had almost killed me. I couldn't believe it._

_"You should watch your back," he said with a scowl as he pulled his sword out of the man's body with a sickening scraping sound._

_"Right," I said with a slow nod, taking the hand he held out to me and pulling myself up._

_This was too weird. Aya…looking out for his team mates? Had he gone crazy or something? Then I remembered dimly, something about Ken telling me about a conversation he'd had with Aya in the flower shop about team work. I thought it quite amusing that he'd actually listened to Ken at all, yet also even more amazing that he'd taken his advice. He turned and started to walk away from me, going back to his own task. I just stared after him for a moment, still amazed by his change of heart._

_"Go get the target Yoji," he turned and said a little impatiently when he noticed I was still standing there._

_Then he was gone in a flutter of black and steel. It was then I decided, then that I changed my mind and resolved that I would do everything in my power to protect these people who would protect me._

_I just turned and ran up the stairs. That was it! If Aya, iceberg of the Koneko no sumo ie, could get over his problem with team work then I'd be damned if I couldn't get over my own problems! Heck, he never even used to acknowledge me before and now he was saving my life? I needed to pull myself together; I needed to think about the others. I wasn't going to just give up, not when they would do this for me. Not when I could do the same for them. I needed something to fill the gaping hole Asuka had left in me…and Weiss were there to offer themselves for the job._

_How could I refuse?_

I smiled at the memory. The day Aya had saved my life…twice. If it hadn't been for his change of heart, I would surely have gotten myself killed that day or tried to kill _myself_ if that failed. I listened contentedly to my meal/disaster bubbling away on the stove, trying to get that feeling of camaraderie back, that love. I did really miss him, oddly enough, and his weird behaviour before he left had just made me worry about him more than usual. Yet I shouldn't worry, he knew how to take care of himself. 

I was just sitting there, smiling to myself and telling myself that it was never as bad as it seemed when Omi's voice shattered my thoughts.

"Yoji! Get up here!" he cried.

I started, but I was up the stairs as quickly as my legs would carry me, absently noting that I could hear Ken's motorbike pulling up savagely on the pavement out side. Omi had found a lead, that must be what it was. We were going to get Ran back. We were going to be whole again.

"Omi? What have you got..?" I trailed off as I ran into his room and saw the haunted look back in his eyes once more.

He just looked at me, fear in his eyes as I heard the door opening and Ken's heavy footfalls running through the hall and up the stairs. I didn't ask again, just waited for Ken to join us and ask Omi for himself. I didn't really want to know anymore, not if it made Omi look like that…

"You've got a lead?" Ken was slightly out of breath and his voice was desperate and demanding as he halted in the doorway.

"Y-yes," Omi stuttered as he looked into the brunette's burning eyes, "I think I know why he left anyway."

"Well tell us!" Ken said impatiently.

"Calm down," I told him, seeing the confused and raging emotions in Omi's bright blue eyes; turning to Omi I added, "Take your time kid."

He nodded, "Well, I found this Esset coded message in, well it doesn't matter where, but I found it, and…I…"

"What!?" Ken said frantically, not being able to contain his frustration at Omi's hesitation.

"It's…I found," Omi was shaking a little now, his face paling; I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "they said in the message "The ritual is complete, and He is retuned to us.""

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ken frowned, confusion momentarily clouding his anger; my mouth felt dry at what Omi was implying.

"It means…the rest of the message…it says that," he turned his eyes onto me and I froze, "Aya-chan…she's still alive."

I tried not to let my jaw drop to the floor. But before anyone could say anything there was a terrible cry from outside. Then the wall in front of us began to shake. I instinctively pulled Omi from his chair and, holding him to my chest, barrelled us both into Ken sending us into a heap in the hallway. I looked back up at the wall just in time to see the first crack appear. 

Then it exploded in a rain of brick and light.

[1] Nikujaga – A Japanese dish of meat and potatoes. It's more delicious than it sounds, really, well I like it anyway!

An: Phew! That was a long one. Okay, so am I taking this too far or what? Hee hee, I just can't help myself! The first confrontation between Weiss and Aya up next, and more about Aya-chan's mysterious reappearance woOooOOooO! Errr, okay getting a bit carried away there ^-^. As always feedback is very welcome, please R&R! Oh, and thanks to everyone for reviewing! There will be angst, but I just haven't got there yet honest! I have a plan, really!


	6. The connection deep inside

Disclaimer: Woopsy keep forgetting these darned things, nevemind. Weiss, I don't own em' so don't you sue or nuttin! Yarrr!

****

**Chapter 6**

****

**The connection deep inside**

I was running, faster than the wind itself. I had never run as fast as I was doing now, knocking people to the ground and then disappearing before they could know it was I who had done it; leaping over cars as they raced by me; I would have leapt over buildings if it wouldn't have drawn too much attention. 

The silence of the factory was left far behind me now. Their silent screams were lost to my thought, only the murmur of the city remained, flitting through my mind as I sped through street after street. Everything was brought down to this one city, as I rushed through parks, through suburbs, through the city centre. Their mundane thoughts were filling my subconscious, but I had them at bay. At times I found myself wondering at some thought that was not my own, or at some memory that I had never witnessed. Every time I felt myself slip though, she was there to catch me. I was already completely acclimatised to her presence within me, a calm still centre to my seeming lack of control. When I would get to boisterous or too advantageous then she would be there to show me my limits, or to pull me back from the brink. Because that was what I felt like I was doing when I let my mind open even just a little to those thoughts that flooded the dark cornered off section of my brain. I felt like I was standing at the edge of a steep cliff that dropped off into dark oblivion; and when my control began to slip then I began to slip also from my precarious standing on the brink of madness. Yet she was always there to pull me back with a slight tug at my hand.

The tall trees no longer looked so tall, I could have jumped to their tops in a second. I could still feel the power flowing through my veins, pumping my adrenaline, making me run faster and faster. I didn't question it, I couldn't question it. She had given it too me as a gift, and I wouldn't throw it back at her like it was unwanted by asking stupid questions. I already knew why she had given me these powers. 

They were to avenge her with.

They were to destroy her attackers, destroy those who hated her. I was to destroy all those who stood in my path, and all those who had stood in my path before that. I was to be a plague on these people who I knocked to they wayside, these insignificant fools who knew nothing of the power that lurked in their midst or its dark intentions. Yet no, they are not dark intentions, only just ones. Just ones that would have me take revenge for her. They were nothing now…and I? I am…

"INVINCIBLE!" I cried, a wicked twist to my lips as I jumped to twirl a street sign before rushing out in front of a large lorry.

The hefty vehicle swerved violently to avoid me as I stopped dead in it's tracks. I didn't move as the huge dark form of the truck screamed towards me, tyre pouring out smoke as the river futilely slammed on the brakes as a last attempt. I heard the screams of the people on the pavement nearby as they looked on in horror at my sure death, I heard them in their minds, in my mind…and I laughed. I laughed at their folly, their ignorant foolishness to save that which would damn them. Just as the truck slid so close that I could feel the heat of the engine and smell the burning rubber of the tyres I leapt to the side and continued on my run. I couldn't help myself, I felt too high not to test the limits of my power. I was laughing, laughing in the face of death, and I liked it. I liked it a lot. It made me feel young again, so different to when I had always felt so very old. It made me feel like I had when it was just Aya-chan and me, just the two of us together with our mother and father. It had all been so simple.

It was only me now, only myself and her. And that was enough.

-_Faster Ran, faster_,- she whispered urgently, -_you must get there quickly._-

-_But where are we going?-_ I asked back, still just enjoying the slick of the wind on my face and the pavement disappearing under my feet.

-_You will see_,- was all she would say, but I didn't question her.

I would never question her, she was my saviour. She had set me free, free to be hers for ever more. I would be her vengeance, and I would come down upon this world like the wrath of Justice itself. I would be a plague on those who had done her wrong, I would be a curse on those who had stood in my way, I would be Death himself to those who had betrayed me…

…Betrayed me?

I stopped so suddenly that I left skid marks on the grass I had been running over. The small green strands flew up around me and settled on my dishevelled trench coat like butterflies settling on a flower. I stood there panting for a moment, my hands outstretched for balance. The moonlight played over my fingers like silver water, glinting on my fingernails as if off fish scales. My mind raced as fast as my heart.

-_Betrayed me?_-

Where had that thought come from? Was it someone else's, some random person's thought slipping into my own consciousness? But no, it was my own I knew it. Who had betrayed me? Why was I thinking that? And why did it scare me so much that I was thinking it?

-_They betrayed you Ran_,- she said softly but firmly.

"Who betrayed me?" I said out loud still staring at my now shaking hands.

-_They betrayed you_,- she repeated, -_they didn't help you save me, they held you bac_k.-

"What…what are you talking about?" I frowned at the fear in my voice, fear at what she might say, fear at what she might ask me to do, yet still not knowing what it was she might say or ask.

The park I had stopped in was not very large, only enough for a patch of grass and a handful of trees. I stood in the middle of the small lawn, panting like a dog and waiting anxiously for her reply. The fact that she wasn't replying only made me more anxious. Yet I couldn't be like this, I had to be firm. I had to be alert and focused, I couldn't just run scared every time I got a bad feeling. She needed me, I was her vessel, her tool. I would be an entirely useless tool if I was shaking like a leaf; so I calmed myself, taking a deep breath and fisting my hands by my sides. I put my thoughts in order, thinking about the implications of her statement before I carried on .

"Who has betrayed you?" I asked her seriously; I figured if they had betrayed me, they had betrayed Aya-chan too, and that was unacceptable.

There was a slight pause, and then…

-_Weiss_,- she said simply.

Silence.

"Weiss," I breathed, the fear that had momentarily lapsed came back in full force.

The silence that had settled on me suddenly became a rushing swell of voices, screaming and humming and shouting and laughing and sneering and blushing and huffing and…and…

…and I felt myself falling. Down into that dark abyss I slipped, my sudden shock and fear letting my control on the power that held the voices at bay slip. I could almost feel Aya's hand on me, hear her voice that screamed yet seemed distant and faint to my numb ears. I could have sworn that, as I stood there frozen in that little park, that I could feel the rush of the wind against my face and through my hair as I fell over the edge of that churning black oblivion. I couldn't stop it, my limbs felt paralyzed as the voices roared and roared almost as loudly as the blood in my ears. I could feel the darkness surrounding me and pulling at me, tearing at my mind like a wolf would its prey, eating at what little of my sanity I had left. I would have cried out in pain if I hadn't been so paralysed with fear. It was then and there, when I had not even began my mission for her in earnest, after all I had gained, that I was sure I would die…

_-Where are you Ran?-_

It was like a light in the darkness, like a hand reaching down to catch me and pull me back to safety. I could have sworn that I knew that voice, that I recognised the gloved hand, the dark brown jacket, the shock of an orange sweatshirt tied around a waist…but it was all too much for my battered mind to take. I just grabbed blindly for the help, hoping desperately that I could catch onto it in time. I did, curling my fingers around that hand, warm and welcoming, thoughts pouring into my mind at the contact. It was like I had opened up a link with the person I was using as a mental anchor.

-_Why did you go?-_

I was sure I could place that voice; sure I knew that surly tone laced with hope and need, sure if I thought hard enough I could put a face to it…

-_I'm never going to find you…_-

My head was settling now, not feeling so light and full as it had a moment before when the voices had tried to overwhelm me in their intense need to be heard. I tried to focus on the mental link I had established, determined to find out my saviours identity, determined to know who had seemed so familiar to me, so safe, that I had grabbed onto their mind as soon as it had come into range. I wanted to know who could have saved me when Aya-chan could not. I could almost make out tattered jeans, a flash of silver from one glove, a smile…

-_I really need him, god I really need him_.-

Then it was gone. In a flash the image before me melted and dissipated like oil on water, slinking back into the humdrum rumble of voices in the background. I had to blink a few times before I realised that I was staring at my hands once more, that the moonlight was once again surrounding me instead of the darkness.

-_You must not lose control!-_ her voice was reprimanding, angry and it made me blanch just at the tone, -_you have to be alert, I need you to be in command of your power.-_

-But who was that..?- before I even finished the thought I instantly regretted it.

_-YOU WILL GO!-_ she said in that voice, the one she had used before to save my life by instigating the use of my power.

I couldn't help but feel myself relax, feel all questions slip from my mind like water through fingers that grasped vainly at it. All resistance fled, only obedience remained. I was once more in control, and I was ready to do her biding. I thought no more about the strange figure who had saved me, their thoughts seemingly unconnected with my plight now that I was once more reunited with Aya-chan in my mind. Then I heard it, the familiar yet oddly unfamiliar squeal of tyres against tarmac. I instinctively pulled back under the shadow of the trees behind me as a large motorcycle swerved dangerously on the road near to the little park. It halted with sudden precision, pulling its hulking form in a practiced one hundred and eighty degree spin before shooting off again back down the road it had come from.

-_FOLLOW IT NOW-_ I did as she bid me in that commanding tone; I couldn't refuse.

I ran again like I had before, yet there was no joy in my power now. I felt nothing but unswerving duty, her thoughts permeating my own as I kept pace with the motorcycle. She wanted me to kill; she wanted me to maim, to hurt and to avenge. I could do all that with ease; I could do it with pleasure. Yet I shouldn't feel pleasure, I was a failure who couldn't even save his own sister. I couldn't even control the little power she had given me I was such a weakling. Weakling! I wouldn't be one! I would be strong for her! I would do as she asked, not questioning her all the time. I would do as she bid from now on, no hesitation, no holding back. She wanted me to kill, I would kill.

Perhaps it was this blinding duty that stopped me from noticing that the young man who sat on the motorcycle I followed so diligently had an orange sweater tied tightly around his middle. He also had on a dirty brown jacket, and gloves which flashed with steel as he revved the bike faster and faster. I didn't see any of it though, didn't even think about what Aya-chan had asked of me in the first place that had scared me so. I wouldn't be scared, I couldn't be scared and so I just wouldn't think about it. I would follow this bike and then I would kill the one riding it and all his allies. I would do it for her because she had asked it of me, and because I owed her so much that I couldn't refuse her this small task.

When the bike finally stopped, jumping up precariously over the pavement in front of an old familiar looking house I was a little out of breath. I stood in the shadows of an alleyway, allowing myself time to breathe before I rushed in there and began my slaughter. I could vaguely make out the thoughts of the people in the house, but I didn't want t hear them. I just wanted to kill them, whoever they were and have done with it. I wanted to have their blood on my hands, staining my clothes, spurt in my face. I wanted to take proper retribution against these fools who had dared oppose her justice. So it was then that I felt my power rising, felt my hands fly up as I ran out onto the calm silent street and then let out a blast of telekinetic energy against the second story wall of the house. I heard the brick cracking and buckling under the weight of the pressure, exploding just as I launched myself up to the hole and landed swiftly inside a small familiar room. I shook my head to clear it as some rouge memory tried to break through the defences I had built around my mind, the defences that secured my single minded devotion to my duty.

The targets.

They were four, one of them was the one from the bike with the orange sweater around his middle. It sparked something, just like the sunglasses of the taller one did, or the blue eyes of the younger one. I pushed these thoughts away as I lunged forward towards them as they crouched, huddled on the floor away from the explosion. I held out a hand for the dark haired one who was shouting something I couldn't quite catch as the blood once again roared in my ears. Their shocked and hurt expressions did nothing but help me in my bland execution…

…or not so bland as I found out when the fist of the taller one connected with my face.

AN: Right okay I decided to leave the fight till the next chapter because I thought it would be too long if I put down what I want to happen all in one go! Phew, that was a little confusing though, and I hope that I didn't lose anyone during this chapter ^-^ ! If I did then sorry, you have every right to kick my ass. Sorry for this chapter being a little delayed by the way, but I've been kinda busy with work. Bah evil work! 

As always please R&R and thank you so much to everyone who reviewed *lots of smoochy kisses and stuff*!


	7. The conection deep inside part II

**Chapter 7**

****

**The connection deep within part II**

-_Oh my god_.-

I rolled to the side as Yoji shoved mercilessly at my shoulder flinging me further into the corridor; yet that was only after clocking Ran so hard on the chin that it sent him reeling back into Omi's room.

-_Oh my…god.-_

It was all I could think as I jumped up from the roll I had landed in and sat crouched there for a moment just watching the scene before me.

Ran.

Ran attacking us…no it wasn't Ran. I knew Ran. I didn't know this man who stood in front of Yoji now, blood leaking from his split lip as it twisted up into a sneer. Yoji visibly flinched as he slowly moved in front of Omi, almost as if he thought any sudden movement would set the redhead off.

"…What are you doing?" he asked perfectly reasonably, the question almost too reasonable considering the situation. 

His voice was calm, but the waver behind it betrayed the anger, upset and utter confusion he was truly feeling. The redhead narrowed his eyes at him, his glare bloodcurdling, yet admirably Yoji stood his ground.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Yoji asked a little more harshly as he regained a little of his scattered wits, and quite reasonably so considering the circumstances.

Yet Ran gave no answer. Instead he decided to just snarl at the lanky assassin, the action inadvertently springing Yoji into action. In one swift slick move Yoji sprang forward, swing out at Ran with one hand while he blocked Omi from the attacker's path. It gave the young blonde just enough time to scramble to his feet and dart down the stairs hopefully, I thought, to get at his crossbow. At least the introduction of weaponry would give us some leverage and hopefully pull some sense out of the enraged Ran. I looked back to see that Yoji's hit had landed, but in his haste to help Omi he had over swung just enough to give Ran an advantage. The redhead sent him toppling to the ground with a deft flick of his arm, subtly snapping a hit onto the back of Yoji's neck. I was on my feet in seconds, running, blinded by a haze of anger and fear as I barrelled into our distracted attacker. Yet he was only distracted for a moment, and as soon as I touched him, as soon as my shoulders came into contact with his body I could feel the power surging around him. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, made my skin crawl and my heart shudder in my chest. It was like static electricity in the air, and aura of surging electrons warring with each other for space, pushing at me and buzzing around me. It made me freeze on contact with him, like I had been electrocuted, just from the sheer unnatural feel of it. I felt paralysed, and it scared the shit out of me!

As I lay propped against Ran's stomach, willing my limbs into some semblance of coherency, my mind raced, and the only comparison I could muster for this strange feeling made my skin crawl.

When Prodigy used his power. 

That was the only other time I could think of that I had felt that itching in the air, that  surge like the hum of electricity that made you hair stand on end. The only problem with this was…Ran wasn't a telekinetic. Well, at least that's what I thought until I found myself flying through the air before becoming pinned up against the opposite wall, spread-eagled, my head spinning and the air knocked in full from my lungs. It took me a moment to realise what was happening, to figure out why I hadn't hit the floor yet. Yet even when I figured it out, there was still that part of my mind that refused to believe it was true. Then I saw Ran's flaring eyes upon me, his gaze holding me against the wall almost all by itself. His hands were outstretched just like Prodigy did when he used telekinesis; I couldn't believe it. 

The hard plaster had shattered on impact and I could slowly feel little pieces of dust and brick tumbling past my bleary eyes. It was as if they were moving through water, distorted and sluggish. It was like I was moving in slow motion along with the rest of the world. Yet I didn't fall. I just stayed there, stuck like a butterfly on a pin, staring into Ran's manic eyes. I tried to move then, yet felt just as paralysed as before. I felt his power pushing more into me, harder and stronger, the plaster shattering further, the cracks twisting out like a cobweb. I was vaguely aware of Yoji lying just beyond my field of vision, pushing slowly up on shaky arms.

-But how…- I thought numbly, feeling like my lungs were going to come rushing out of my mouth any minute from the pressure on my chest, -…only one punch and he's down that badly?-

I couldn't breathe, I felt my body compressing, the pressure building in my joints and muscles, sure to splinter and pop at any moment.

"Ran…please…" was all I could gasp out before my vision dimmed as dark spots began to expand in front of my eyes.

I knew then I was going to die. I just knew it. This was insane. I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't! Not like this! Not like this…not him…couldn't breathe…

"Stop it!" Yoji's voice echoed throughout my scattered mind as if through a tunnel; and then the pressure was gone.

I felt the ground rushing up to meet me with an impact which was entirely unsympathetic to my injuries. The air rushed back into my lungs almost painfully as I gasped and wheezed and tumbled out over the floor like a puppet with its strings cut. It was as if I had no control over what I did with my limbs, they had a mind of their own; and at that moment their mind was thinking that they should lie on the floor and not move at all. The sounds of a struggle were far off and blurred around the edges, like I was wearing earmuffs. Forcing myself into a sitting position, pulling up the wall like a baby who hadn't learned to walk, I managed to get my head up far enough to see what was going on. The scene swayed savagely as I finally got my head righted, the vision of Yoji grappling hands with Ran lolling from side to side before finally settling back to horizontal. I tried to move to help him, tried to even shout out at least, but it was hopeless. All I could do was gasp, the mere act of drawing breath still like knives stabbing into my lungs. So all I could do was watch in vain as Ran slipped from Yoji's infallible looking grasp and strike out hard against his chin. The blond flew back, slamming into the wall before crumpling in an unconscious heap on the floor. 

"Yoji…" I croaked out not being able to stop the pained look that crossed my features as I spoke.

His broken sunglasses lay dejected at his side, reflecting the manic look in Ran's amethyst eyes. The look that was now directed on me.

-_Two hits and Yoji's down?_ – I couldn't understand it, the blond assassin was never that easy to knock out, - _but Ran, his eyes…he doesn't know what he's doing…_-

Before I could ponder it further said person lunged at me from across the room, his trench coat flying out behind him. I let out a hoarse cry of protest but what little breath I had regained was soon knocked out of me as a foot stormed into my gut. My head fell lazily onto Ran's shoulder as he crouched down in front of me, the shock of the injury removing all my inhibitions towards the situation. I could almost feel my eyes bugging out of their sockets from the blow, the sheer force of it sending my vision for a spin. Then my head was snapped up by the hair, the ferocious vision of Ran's countenance bobbing in front of me, and his eyes…

-_Oh god, he really doesn't know what he's doing…he really doesn't recognise me…_-

His eyes were that same deep heliotrope colour they'd always been, but now there was something else lurking in the back of their glassy depths. It was like the glowing embers of a fire, like rage embodied in a look. It was pure hatred. The only other time I had seen that look in Ran's eyes was when Takatori was mentioned during the days not long after we'd met, or when he found out his sister was gone from her hospital sanctuary. Yet never, NEVER had I seen it turned on me; not even Yoji, and certainly not Omi. He used to snipe at us, shout at us, but never had he looked at us like that. It was as if someone completely different was staring down at me, like it was someone else in Ran's body making him act out this manic façade. It was as if he didn't know me…and I was sure that if he did… 

"Ran…" I managed somehow to croak out of my broken throat, "…it's me…Ken."

His grip on my hair tightened as I spoke making my name sound more of a squeak than anything else as I spoke it. I tried futilely to ignore the extreme ache and pain shuddering down my back and legs, the sickening slur of my mind finding it hard to do anything of use. His eyes were boring into my own dazed ones as if he could look into my very soul. I felt like that was what he was doing, staring into my very essence as if the glassy orbs of my eyes were nothing but holes. I shuddered slightly in his grasp, just as much as my withering strength would permit.

"Ken," was all I could say then, hoping it would spark something in his memory "Ken."

Then there it was; I almost missed it I was so delirious. It was nothing but a slight twitch at the side of his mouth, a slight hesitation in his actions. Yet it was enough to give me hope, enough to make me gather my remaining vigour and try again.

"Ken," I said again, louder this time, "Ken…remember?"

He narrowed his eyes and growled at me, but his grasp seemed to loosen on my hair. I could vaguely hear footsteps running, but I ignored them. I focused on holding the redheads gaze, making sure he looked at my face as I pleaded with his memories to resurface. I sat there for what seemed like an eternity, even though in reality it was probably only seconds that passed. I began to think that my analysis had been wrong, that Ran knew well fine what he was doing and that he was trying to kill us…kill me…no. NO! I wouldn't believe it, it couldn't be true! He was my best friend, my brother…I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't believe it…

"Ken?" it was nothing but a faint whisper, almost missed amidst the thumping of my heart.

I blinked once I realised he had spoken, noticing the distinctly different look on his face as I stared at it obsessively. The rage had melted to be replaced by confusion. The hatred in his eyes was once again that placid inner strength.

"Ran?" I breathed out hopefully.

He opened his mouth to speak, frowning as he noticed the blood I could feel running down my chin, but he never said what he was going to say. All that emanated from those lips was a cry of pure agony. Blood spurted all over my face, landing on my tongue as I cried out and wriggled in Ran's weak grasp. I could feel the hot fluid mixing with my own life blood as it trickled down my face, not wanting to open my eyes. Yet I was forced to as Ran hauled me up along the wall, my feet dangling off the ground. I saw then the thick sturdy arrow bolt protruding from his shoulder and Omi crouching at the top of the stairs, crossbow in hand. I tried not to cry out in frustration and hurt as I saw that Ran's control had once again been relinquished to whatever force I was sure was controlling him; his eyes were once again crazed, the look not his own. 

-_He couldn't be himself, not after that little lapse into reality_, - was all I could think. 

I vaguely heard the squeal of tires and again the sound of footsteps but again I ignored it. I had to concentrate on Ran. So I stared down at him, ignoring the sounds of doors and voices and all those trivial things.

-_If I could only get him to…_- but I didn't get the chance to finish the thought.

The air rushed over my face as I flew through the air, Ran's powerful arms tossing me along the corridor as if I were nothing but a paper aeroplane. Yet I didn't fly so well, or land with such grace. The banister rushed up to meet my face before I could bring my unresponsive arms up to shield myself. My head felt like it was being split in two as my skull cracked off the metal piping, the pain shooting right down my spine and jarring my feet. I heard Omi cry out, but I didn't catch what he said; I was too busy trying not to slip in a coma. 

Then the world became nothing but a wild fuzz of movement, splodges of colour here and there, a funny green shape rushing up the stairs, the muffled sounds of gunfire. I tried to hang on to reality for as long as I could, hoping I could come round and help Omi, but it was a futile effort. 

The last thing I remember was the odd feeling of warmth surrounding me and then the world lurching in an odd way as I was lifted from the ground. Then an oddly familiar voice that I couldn't quite place at that moment cut through my unwilling mind like a knife.

-_Sorry we're late katzchen_-

Then I was gone.

An: Whoa! Schuldich being nice!?!?!?!? Naah, just sarcastic, heh heh, so that's okay. Anyway, Schwartz to the rescue…! Feedback very welcome, please R&R. I promise I'll get round to Aya-chan next chapter, mwooahahaha! And hopefully the next one wont be so late, ahhhh! I hate work! Bah humbug!


	8. The remains of the day

Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz or any of the keyboard buttons to spell the name properly either! Darn!

Key: //Denotes POV//

        _-Denotes thought or telepathic speech-_

**Chapter 8**

****

**The remains of the day**

****

//Schuldich//

You know, some days you wake up and you just know that you're going to have a bad day. I think I figured out that my day was doomed when I spilled my coffee all over my French toast at breakfast. Of course when I walked into Crawford's bedroom only to find our fearless leader semi-conscious and twitching on the floor my suspicions were confirmed. 

It was going to be one of those days.

Crawford's violent vision and his sudden decision to go in search of Weiss had thrown me a little, but then that's our Braddy. He likes his secrets and his surprises; yet this doesn't mean that I have to like them. Let's just say I wasn't too chuffed about this decision; Weiss weren't exactly on my Christmas card list at the moment to put it nicely. In fact ever since we met I've had this thing for hating their meddling inexperienced little hides, but hey that's just me! Don't get me wrong I like nothing more than to play with their minds like I would a board game but…teaming up with them? I wasn't exactly dancing like a cheerleader at the thought…not that I would know how to dance like a cheerleader anyway. Also I wasn't too sure that was such a good idea; I mean just because Crawford thought it was the best course of action, that didn't exactly mean that Weiss were going to accept us with open arms; in fact they would probably react in the completely opposite manner. However I found out a long time ago that when Brad wants something done, it tends to get done come hell or high water. If there was one thing life had taught me the hard way it was not to underestimate Bradley Crawford or question his actions.

I pulled myself from my reverie as I ran swiftly up the stairs, Farferello and Nagi behind me with Brad bringing up the rear, and took in the situation. So we were here finally, in the kitties' lair. Well this was nice…well, as nice as you could get for a war zone. There were holes in the walls, tables and chairs and broken things everywhere. It looked more like a targets house after a hit than a safe house. Well, I wasn't really sure that said adjective was suitable for this accommodation any more, better using something like very vulnerable and crap made house. That had a certain ring to it I think. 

I shook my head and gathered my wits as I reached the hallway only to find myself facing an outraged Abyssinian and a shocked Bombay. I ignored the intense glare the redhead shot me along with the incredulous one the younger Weiss was throwing vaguely at me. He looked like his eyes should be on springs dangling around his mouth. The thought made me laugh. Yet, the situation in itself was far more humorous than Bombay's shocked expressions. The fact that I had been bitching to Crawford for the whole drive over to this side of town, moaning about why this was such a bad idea and that Weiss would never accept it anyway, now seemed quite laughable. I had also pointed out that we would have a fight on our hands as soon as we reached their base, and now look at us! We had Weiss served up to us on a platter of rubble and now we held a severe advantage over our long time rivals. I looked down at my feet only to find one of said Assassin's lying there; I quickly grabbed up the unconscious Siberian from the floor. He moaned briefly as he was moved but then lay still after that which I was gracious for. I wasn't really in the mood for dealing with this particular kittens claws. 

So, to just recap on the situation: Balinese was lying unconscious on the floor, Siberian was unconscious in my arms, Bombay might as well have been unconscious the way he was staring blankly at us, and Abyssinian…well Abyssinian had gone mad to put it bluntly.

I just knew he was going to snap one of these days. He always was just too up tight for his own good. A good stiff drink and a screw would have fixed him up I'm sure, but then no one ever asked me did they? Of course not, who does…? Bombay continued to stare.

"What? Have I got something on my face?" I smirked as the youngest Weiss member blinked at me.

Farferello ran to Balinese and gathered him up out of harms way…or if you could consider being in the arms of a psychopath in a room full of destruction _out _of harms way. I heard Brad letting off a few shots at the out of it redhead, but focused on my own target. As my gaze locked with Bombay's however his shock vanished in an instant and his shields slammed down over his mind. 

Now they are wily kittens that's for sure and there's been a couple of times that they've managed to surprise even me, but even their stronger than your average mental shields are nothing compared to that of a fully trained Esset agent. For example when Brad shuts you out of his mind it's like someone pulling the wool over your eyes; completely disorientating and effective. When Bombay put his shields down it's like someone holding their hand over your eyes with their finger open; not quite as devastating. So when I began to probe at the corners of his mind, hoping that I could maybe knock him out before he noticed what I was doing, his eyes narrowed and, almost before I could stop him, he brought his crossbow up into attack position. I put my mental attack on hold.

-_I wouldn't if I were you_- I warned him as I lifted Siberian in my arms, -_ you might just miss…_-

He froze with his finger on the trigger, eyes narrowing into dangerous slits. That stopped him attacking me yet it didn't stop him from growling at me, his youthful visage distorted with rage and pent up emotion.

"Get the hell out of my mind!" he spat, his mouth twisting into a snarl as he spoke.

-_Give me one good reason_, - I snorted back.

"Let him go," he said seemingly ignoring me, his tone promising pain in abundance, "now."

-_Right and loose my only shield? I don't think so_, - I said shaking my head, -_So why don't we all just civilly put the weapons away and…chat about this?_-

"I told you to get out of my mind," Bombay said maliciously, suddenly looking very old for his age, "and to put him down before I make you put him down."

I'd decided this conversation was getting nowhere after the first couple of replies, so I figured I'd talk to Brad instead of following up this fruitless line of tête-à-tête. Bombay couldn't hide the relief he felt as I withdrew my mind from his and searched for Crawford over the din of the fight.

-_Hey Brad, done yet? I am_…-

-_Abyssinian has escaped_, - Crawford's reply was almost a little…shaken?

-_Escaped, how the hell did you let that happen?_ - I shot back, not liking the uncertainty in Brad's tone.

-_He seems to have developed some…unusual traits_, - Crawford surmised cryptically.

-_Whatever the hell that's supposed to mean I'm sure I won't like it,_ - I smirked as I shook my head to clear it of Crawford's uneasy feelings, -_shouldn't we go after him?-_

_-…No, I think we should regroup and deal with the Weiss situation first_, - Crawford said, once more sounding cool and in control and.

-_Whatever you say fearless leader,_ - I snorted a laugh as Bombay tensed, the sound of Crawford and Nagi's footsteps nearing us, -_I think Bombay will have a hissy fit if you don't hurry.-_

-----------

//Omi//

It was going to be one of those days, I could just tell. When I stepped out of my room this morning and tripped over one of Ken's many stray footballs I knew things were going to be awry for the rest of the day. It's always how you start the day that tells you how things are going to lay out, and my own had not started that well.

Then, later on when Aya pushed me up against the wall…and all I'd asked was if he was alright. That was when I knew things were definitely going wrong…and maybe not just for the rest of the day. 

Things had been building up for a while now, each of the four of us growing more tense with each passing second. It was like we were living in a box, our world suddenly reduced to an hundred square feet, and that it was slowly closing in on us. Things were constantly tense, the very air seemed to vibrate with it and it grated on you after a while, eve if you tried to ignore it. It did so on all of us, yet on Aya most of all; yes especially Aya. At first I thought that it was just a natural response to our new situation and surroundings, an adverse reaction to the way events had played out. But for Aya…Ran, well it was painfully obvious why he would be suffering the most out of all of us. His sister had died and I guess he felt as though he was totally alone…I suppose that didn't help the tension either, him thinking he was alone when we were there for him and he just wouldn't let us in.

_"NO!" Yoji moved quicker than the eye, his wire snaking out and latching itself around Aya's blade like a snake would its prey._

_The katana slithered out of Aya's desperate grasp, and he even made a pathetic whimpering sound at feeling its loss. He reached after it with shaking hands, but it was out of reach; it was too late now to end it the way he had wanted to. I could only thank whoever needed to be thanked that Yoji had caught Aya before he had done it. I didn't want to think about Aya dead, I could hardly eve think straight after what had just happened, and Aya dead, no, not dead…_

_"Get up, I said GET UP!" Yoji was hauling at Aya's shoulders but he was like a limp puppet in his hands. It was as if someone had just come casually by and snipped his strings, leaving him with only enough strength to carry out that one final deed…_

_"Come on Aya stand up, we have to get out of here…" Ken was on his other side now, his voice more coaxing than Yoji's authoritative yet upset tone._

_Aya just let them haul him up, not making a sound as they pulled him onto his feet and held onto him loosely. He stayed deathly quiet and shaky pale, his face seemingly emotionless. Aya shouldn't look like that; he had never looked like that. He may have been cold and insensitive, but there was always a passion and a drive behind his actions. Now he was just…empty looking, broken almost. I guess that was what scared me most of all, that was what spurred me forward out of my shock and into action, helping my two comrades with their burden. _

_Aya was hard to move, he was so heavy and just lay unresisting in our hands. As I helped Yoji pull him up into Ken's arms I noticed two things: one was that there was blood on Aya's hands, and the second was that there were tears running down his pale cheeks. I couldn't tell where the blood had come from, and it seemed oddly far off and distant a worry as we struggled in the deserted ritual room. It bothered me more that Aya was crying. I realised I had never seen Aya cry before. Never. I felt my chest tighten when those dead looking eyes suddenly fixed on me with insane desperation and then, without warning, Aya sprang into life._

_"Get your hands off me!" he screamed as he flailed in our awkward grasp._

_As soon as we dropped him in our surprise he was scrambling to his feet and running towards the door we had seen Schwartz leave through. Ken was the one this time to restrain him, grasping his wrists and pulling on him with all his strength. I was once more struck dumb by Aya's odd behaviour. Yet, it wasn't really odd behaviour. Actually considering what had just happened it was perfectly normal behaviour for Aya, it was exactly what I would have expected from him…except the fact that he cried…and that he was shunning us; or maybe that wasn't the oddest part._

_"I told you to get off me!" he snarled as he tried to fling Ken from his grip but the brunette held true._

_"No, don't! We have to go back, we can't go after them right now!" Ken pleaded, "You aren't in any state; we need to regroup Aya."_

_The use of that name, of his sister's name only seemed to enrage him further. He pulled one of his hands from Ken's and held it up high as if he was going to strike out. I let out a cry, yet I wasn't sure whether it was in warning to Ken or just out of shock that Aya would strike him…yet it wasn't needed. As soon as Aya looked into Ken's shocked face with anger and hurt and desperation and hopelessness warring for dominance in his eyes, all the anger seemed to melt from his face and he once more became that dead puppet. His raised hand began to shake as Ken didn't dare move in the face of such raging emotion, and finally dropped lifelessly to his side; the rest of his body followed and Ken caught him as he fell into his arms. I let out a sigh of relief, and as Yoji helped Ken with his load and we all ran for the exit and back to safety not looking back once; only one thought raced through my mind._

_-You do need us Aya, you do need us.- _

_I hardly even noticed the tears running down my face._

He did need us, yes he definitely did. I knew this and so did Ken and Yoji; I wondered if Ran knew it yet. From the way he had been acting I would think that the answer to that would be no.

"What? Have I got something on my face?" the German telepath standing in front of me with Ken in his arms smirked nastily at me and I tried my hardest not to shoot him right there and then.

However when I felt that sickening feeling in my stomach, that dizzy sensation in my head that I recognised as what I could almost call the redhead's trademark, I acted purely out of response. I brought the bow up and aimed it straight at his heart…and almost killed the unconscious Ken in his arms. I cursed as I felt that sickening nasal voice in my mind, trying to ignore the side effects of the mental probe.

-_I wouldn't if I were you, you might just miss…_-

"Get the hell out of my mind!"

-_Give me one good reason_. –

"Let him go, now."

-_Right and loose my only shield? I don't think so_,_ So why don't we all just civilly put the weapons away and…chat about this?_-

"I told you to get out of my mind and to put him down before I make you put him down," I said in the most dangerous tone I could muster.

Yet he only kept that damnable smirk on his face and shook his head, finally leaving my mind. I found it hard not to sigh in relief as I felt his presence move from my brain, opting instead to just let my shoulders relax a little. 

Yet, as soon as communication was lost with the German I realised exactly how hopeless this situation was. Yoji was unconscious and under Berserkers care, and ken was also in the clutches of the enemy…and I was helpless to stop them. I could do nothing, well nothing helpful anyway. I felt so utterly devoid of hope, just like when it had finally sunk in that Ran was attacking us, or when my sister was killed, or when Aya-chan was killed right before our eyes…but wait, my hidden message. She wasn't dead, that was what it said…I couldn't think about this right now, I had to focus. Yet I couldn't, I just couldn't stop thinking about Ran.

As I stood in front of the smirking Schwartz bastard I realised I hadn't felt this helpless since that night with Ran after his sister's death. When we finally got him home, back to our safe house, he had just lay on the couch we placed him on and stared ahead of him the whole night. It was then that I realised that the blood on his hands was from a savage gash on his earlobe where he had torn the long gold bar from it. It made me want to cry again just on seeing the absence of the earring and the devastation it left behind it. In a way the loss of the treasured accessory and the bloody hole it left behind was reflective of the way Aya-chan had been torn from Ran's life that night, but the difference was that the wound Aya had left behind wound not heal so quickly, if ever. It made me feel sick thinking that. 

I had tried to comfort him, I tried to get him to eat, I even tried shouting at him I became so frustrated when he wouldn't respond! Yet nothing worked, he just kept laying there, his crimson hair a stark contrast to the green couch, his violet eyes vacant and emotionless. I remember feeling this horrible fear and hopelessness. It was the same feeling I was getting now as I stared at Ken in Mastermind's arms. I tensed as the sound of approaching footsteps, trying to ignore the stupid laugh the German let slip as his comrades finally came into view.

Then I finally let go of my memories, my thoughts, and suddenly it was just me again. Just me on my own with my crossbow facing four Esset agents with no back up.

It was most certainly going to be one of those days.

-----------

//Farferello//

I have to say it's not everyday that you wake up to the news that a church in Northern Ireland was bombed by a local group of Fenian's killing twenty six people. When you wake up to news like that, you can tell it's going to be a good day. Then when the red haired devil Schuldich told me that we were to go play with the kittens that night, I could tell my luck was in. I was going to have a good day that was sure. Schuldich always brings me the nicest morsels of information, maybe that's why I savour his visits most of all.

So after this mornings good omen, here I was with proof in my arms that lady luck was smiling down on me. I had caught myself a little kitten and he was all sleepy and grumbling. It was a shame though that Crawford had told me specifically that there was to be no harm done. None at all in fact. That was the only down point of my day I suppose, everything else was shaping up nicely.

"Well, well, what a mess we have here," I raised my eyebrow as I smirked at the damage surrounding me "been playing too rough I see."

There was a hole in the wall of the room I had found myself in and the cold night air was smarting against my exposed skin. I didn't really care though, the cold never bothered me and it was refreshing to feel the invigorating wind while in the midst of a fight such as this. Not that I was getting to do much fighting at all.

Balinese shifted restlessly in my arms, turning his head to expose the already colouring bruise on his right cheek. That was interesting. So, Abyssinian had finally seen sense and decided to give in to his primal hatred. Another kindred spirit I would be happy to embrace. Yet was he another fallen angel ready to strike back at his creator perhaps? It would be interesting to know just how far the crimson haired kitty had fallen, and just how far he was prepared to fall before he stopped himself.

I felt that a certain redhead was ready to join with us perhaps? Ready maybe to help me thwart His bidding? Or maybe I could follow whatever power he had decided to follow; if that power hurt Him as badly as Abyssinian had hurt his team mates here then I would be glad to lend my help to their cause. My fellow heretics might even be interested in such an offer; I knew the redhead devil would be that's for sure. It would be right up his street.

I stared with glee out into the hallway where Schuldich was intimidating the younger kitten and receiving malicious looks in return. 

Yes, this was shaping up to be a fine day to be sure.

-------------

//Yoji//

I hate being knocked unconscious. You can tell that a day is shaping up to kick you in the ass when you get knocked out after two punches. Yes, that's right TWO punches…can't believe it even happened; and Ran of all people. I mean what the hell was going on there!? The guy fucks with our heads, runs off into the night worrying us all sick and then comes back just to try and kill us! Kill us for fucks sakes!! Just when I thought that the world couldn't get any crazier and this happens. I really was just considering giving up…just after I'd convinced myself to keep going…

I realised, as I slowly found the darkness lifting from my blurry eyes, that I wasn't alone. This fact didn't instantly throw me considering the last time I had checked I hadn't been the only nein the room. Yet there was something about the unfamiliar smell that was so close t my face, the feeling of soft skin against my cheek, that made me feel very uncomfortable. It took me a little while to realise that I was in fact in someone's arms. In fact, as I looked up with said bleary eyes and focused on the pale face looking down at me, I was in very dangerous arms. I was in the Schwartz psycho's arms.

Fuck.

I hate days like this.

"What the hell get the fuck off me you mad bastard let me go and go find something else to play with!" I shouted/slurred out all in one breath as I flailed in the surprised mans grasp.

I found myself unceremoniously dumped onto the floor. Well at least the floor was a step in the right direction considering where I had been before that. As I tried to prop myself up however I felt the whole world carrousel around me a couple of times. Despite my current location and all the mad shit that had just happened with Ran and the fact that Schwartz seemed to have found their way into our happy little get together, I decided to just lay my head back down onto the floor. There was something jagged digging into my back, like a broken chair leg or something, but I couldn't have cared less at that particular moment. I really couldn't, considering I really should have had cartoon birds flying round my head just for effect.

"Don't get so flustered kätzchen," a familiarly nasal voice announced as boot heels clicked along the exposed floorboards, "you really should calm down before you burst something."

I tried to think of some sort of cocky reply, yelling silently at my mind to just ignore the fact that Schwartz was here in our safe house for the time being and focus on, well…focusing.

"Leave it alone Schuldich," the familiarly cool, calm and collected tone of Oracle slipped to my ears, "Farferello get him off the floor."

I tried to push away as I felt myself lifted from the floor, but the invisible "hands" of Prodigy held a grip of steel which I could not have resisted had I been fully in control of my body. So I once again found myself in the psycho's arms against my will and my protesting rather wobbly mind. I could feel Prodigy's power against my back as he lifted me into his team mate's arms. It was a horribly unnatural feeling, and strangely enough it was quite like what I had felt earlier when I was close to Ran, fighting him…odd.

"Well," Crawford's smooth tone interrupted my thoughts, "now that we're all here…"

His voice was too smug, too calm and collected to ignore and definitely too calculating not to be wary of. I looked blearily over the sea of destruction at a fuzzy outline that looked decidedly like Omi. As my eyes finally straightened themselves out I realised that it was Omi and that, as our eyes locked together that he looked terrified and raging all at the same time…and as we stared at each other that look melted like morning frost under the dawn sun. I was glad to see it leave, and I think Omi was glad that I was no longer in the land of the fairies. Oracle was talking but I couldn't focus on his words so I left the hard work up to Omi. He would figure out what to say to get us out of this, he always was good in these types of situations. I tended to just get cocky or be too sarcastic and end up fucking things up. The American wasn't exactly my type of business partner and I knew wouldn't know how to deal with him had I been in Omi's place. The kid had been trained for these very situations and I had every faith in him to pull off whatever he had lurking up his sleeve. 

I unwillingly broke eye contact with Omi as he started our "negotiations" with Schwartz and searched around for the last member of our team. I was to say the least a little worried for Kenken. The last thing I had seen before I had blacked out was Ken barely breathing slouched like a rag doll against the shattered wall he had been slammed into. In short, he hadn't looked too hot. The fact that I was being held up quite tightly by Berserker didn't give me much leeway to take scope of the room, and it was only when Mastermind leaned back against the wall behind him, revealing what he held in his arms, that I finally found Ken. Yet finding him didn't assuage my fears, it only heightened them. Ken was sporting a large bruising lump on his forehead along with a deep cut along his neck and a bust lip. He was also completely unconscious, perhaps (and more than likely) concussed. He needed to be seen to, a head injury wasn't something to be taken lightly. I had a good friend once who was hit by a falling roof tile from a first floor bungalow. It didn't seem to bad a lump and he ended up leaving it alone and just sleeping it off. He didn't wake up the next day; blood clot in the brain due to swelling caused by the seemingly harmless injury. I didn't want Ken to go out like that.

"He needs," I said uncertainly, my voice sounding wobbly and slurred even though my vision had cleared and my mind was less foggy, "help, his head. Ken…"

In my urgency and my lack of thought I even forgot to use codenames, not that it really mattered anymore. I think we just used codenames for Schwartz out of principal now; if we didn't acknowledge that they had real names, we didn't have to think of them as human; which they're most certainly not. 

"Oh don't worry there Kudo," the redhead smirked back, his forest green eyes sparkling in an unreadable fashion, "he'll be alright. Fearless leader here wouldn't let your little friend die, it's not the plan."

"You mean…you actually have a plan? That's a first," remember what I said about my being cocky and sarcastic, well this sort of thing is why I don't get to negotiate.

"I'd watch your tongue little kätzchen, or I might just drop him…out the window," he added with an obliging smile that barred teeth.

"Oh, so you don't have a plan then, or at least not one that you're willing to follow," I smirked back a little lopsidedly.

"Enough," came the commanding reply from Oracle who now looked at us both sternly, which I found odd because I would have thought he wouldn't have minded the German annoying his enemies; he never minded before, in fact he used t join in. I was thoroughly confused and disorientated and not sure why only two punches had had so much effect on me. 

It was going to be one of those days.

-----------

//Crawford//

I have to say I really hadn't bee expecting this at all. You know that when your own power begins acting against you that it's spelling doom for the good day you had foreseen earlier. I remember seeing a good day in my premonition, yet now this was happening; and my premonition most certainly did not contain an Abyssinian with powers such as the ones I had just seen him display. At first I could have sworn that I was just seeing things that weren't there, that Abyssinian wasn't really flinging trashcans and park benches out of his way as he escaped…but when he suddenly disappeared, just like Schuldich often did when putting his unnatural speed to use, well let's just say that I knew something was amiss.

"Don't get so flustered kätzchen, you really should calm down before you burst something." 

I had to restrain a laugh when I stepped into the room where Farferello was standing only to find Balinese sprawled ungainly on the floor at his feet. Schuldich's attempts at humour weren't helping and I told him so.

"Leave it alone Schuldich," I said as calmly as I could, adding as an afterthought "Farferello get him off the floor."

The pale haired man consented with a manic grin, once again gathering the lanky assassin into his willing arms as Nagi lifted him from the floor using his telekinesis. Balinese made a feeble effort to protest, but I could tell that his mind was still reeling with the after effects of the fight. The bruises along his jaw and face were testament to that. I was sure that, considering Siberian was unconscious, Balinese was barely awake and Bombay was fuming silently in Nagi's sure grasp, it was a good enough time as any to say what I had come to say.

"Well, now that we're all here…" I started with a small smile, "why don't we get down to business."

Strangely enough that single request gained the focus of the entire room, including that of my own team mates. Sometime I forget how commanding and compelling my tone alone can be, yet I learned at and early age how…compelling a leader I could be. When you are thrown into the deep end of and Esset training facility such as Rosenkreuz you have to adapt quickly or fail. And failure meant only one thing in Esset… death. So you either used your powers and your benefits to your own advantage or you let yourself be pulled down and destroyed. That was success in a nutshell. I had chosen life over years of servitude and final death. 

Another benefit of being your own leader is the ultimate power it presents. I found out a long time ago that if you're going to keep a secret successfully that the first rule is not to tell anyone; not even the people you trust most...not even those you would trust with your life can know your secret. That rule had helped me through my life in training and my years as leader of Schwartz. And even now, well…as they say "old habits die hard", I found it hard to shake off my untrusting and secretive nature…even when I did find someone I trusted enough with my life. This was why I found it hard to let the rest of Schwartz in on my plans unless it was strictly necessary; or sometimes I just left out details of the plans I did divulge to them, keeping the need-to-know details to myself. As I saw it, I've only ever been the one who needed-to-know.

So this was also why I had gained the attention of my own group when I decided to divulge my plans; I hadn't even let them know yet _why_ exactly they were here. From time to time I tended to forget what I had told them and what I hadn't told them, but it was obvious that they knew nothing in this case. The blank yet expectant looks on their faces were entirely priceless; I could never get tired of that look.

"I'm here to proposition Weiss," I said to Bombay with a smirk; considering the rest of Weiss was out of action at the moment I let Bombay be their spokes person.

He didn't seem too chuffed about gaining the job of liaison with Schwartz, but I could tell from his expression that he wasn't stupid enough to think that he had a choice in the matter.

-Good, - I thought smugly, - things aren't going completely off the plan.-

Sometimes days can turn out well for you after all.

-----------

//Nagi//

Well today wasn't quite what I was expecting. I had hoped to finally get my science project finished and handed in, but I suppose that wasn't going to happen now. Ever since we failed to resurrect The One things had been a little weird to say the least.

"I'm here to proposition Weiss," Brad said coolly, his glasses glinting predatorily in the dim light.

Yet even when I had woken up this morning to find Farferello in a disturbingly happy mood, Schuldich in a very irate mood after ruining his breakfast and Brad seemingly in the same mood as usual…I hadn't had any idea what the day was going to throw at me. When I woke up first of all I had thought it was Friday and I was going to have to go to school, but it had decided to be Saturday instead. I just love it when that happens, extra lie in time and a lazy day ahead. Yet even though the day had such a good start it still turned out to be a little odd…or at least a little more odd than it usually is around the Schwartz household. Brad had vision, a powerful one Schu said, but he had said nothing to me of what it had contained. He hadn't even told Schu, and I found that seemingly simple and routine evasion…more revealing than Crawford would like to know. 

Even if he hardly ever told us any of his secrets or his visions, our leader was much more trusting now than he ever used to be. I remember when Schwarz first accepted me as one of their own, that was a long time ago when we weren't even called Schwartz at all, and Brad Crawford had been a very different man. I was five when he first pulled me off the streets, just grimy kid covered in blood and dirt. I guess, in comparison to what we were when we first met, we're all very different now…

_There was blood this time. There had never been blood before…_

_"I…" he was quiet, like he was sleeping, "…wake up."_

_He didn't get up when I called, didn't move at all. He just kept on sleeping there in that puddle of red, sticky blood. He looked like the drunken men who sometimes lay in the alley when they spilt their drink and then fell asleep in it. Only they always sang, even in their sleep. _

_This man wouldn't sing._

_Even when I carefully nudged him with my toe and pulled on his hair. He wouldn't move, only lay there sleeping. Or maybe he was dead. I wasn't sure. I hoped he wasn't, the police didn't usually care about the death of a random in an alley…but sometimes they made exceptions when street kids were involved. I think they liked to pick them up just to get rid of them. I didn't want to know where the other kids got taken, what happened to them. I just wished I hadn't pushed him so hard. I had only meant to get him off me, he had been so heavy and his breath stank of alcohol and…_

_"They'll take you next you know," said a voice from behind me, so cool and sophisticated and unexpected that for an irrational moment I thought that it was my father._

_He had sounded like that, my father, not that I remembered him properly at all. One of the only vivid memories I had of him was that voice talking me to sleep…But the person I saw before me as I spun round to look wasn't my father. It was a young man, about a couple of heads taller than myself, well groomed clothes and hair all neat and tidy. His glasses and his watch were expensive and new. He didn't fit in to the backdrop of grimy brick walls stained with seamen and blood. Not at all, he was too…clean. I wasn't sire where he had come from, or what he was doing here, but I knew that he knew I had killed this man I was crouching beside. For some foolish reason I didn't want him to know, even though I knew nothing of this man, that I had done such a terrible thing. He seemed so…not pure, but pristine and…powerful. I felt small and stupid and dirty in his presence, and I didn't want someone like him to see me like this. I couldn't explain it._

_"Who?"__ I asked cautiously. Usually if a stranger talked to me like this I ran, but there was something in his voice that made me want to stay. It was commanding, yet compelling at the same time. _

_"The police, they're coming right now," he said back in that same collected tone of voice, his glasses glinting in the failing light._

_"But..but I didn't mean it!" I blurted out, jumping up from my crouch beside the mans bloated corpse, glancing down in irrational fear that he would get back up and point a finger at me as the police came…_

_"Of course you didn't," the young man smiled as he pushed his hand through his hair to move his bangs from his eyes, "and he deserved what happened nonetheless."_

_I was instantly wary. Was this man…siding with me? Trying to help me? He couldn't be, no one ever had, why would he? He didn't even know me and he was so…clean. Yet there was something in his voice that made me want to trust him so implicitly…I just wanted to run into his arms and let him do whatever he wanted. _

_"I only pushed him…because…" I started, not even really knowing what I wanted to say, not knowing why I was telling him any of this, "because he…"_

_"I know, and you were right to," he said with small smile that didn't quite glint in his eyes, "you are a very powerful young boy, very powerful. What if I were to tell you I could take you away from this place?_

_"…How?" I breathed out, my eyes beginning to tear at the thought of escape from this hell… _

_"How would you like to come with me Nagi?" he asked as he stretched out his hand to me._

_I didn't ask why he was taking me, where he was taking me, who he was taking me to. I didn't ask his name, I didn't ask how he knew my name; I didn't even ask if I _should_ ask. All I knew was that when I heard the distant wail of sirens that grew louder and louder with every second, that young mans hand began to look even more and more inviting. _

_I ran into his waiting arms without a second thought. That was when my nightmare ended, and a new one began…Yet at least I would not face this one alone._

Yes Bradley Crawford had been cold and calculating when I had first met him, and he still was now, but not to the same extent…and not with everyone. I had noticed that he had loosened up around us, that he had started revealing more of his plans to us even though he still kept his closely guarded secrets to himself. He had begun to trust us, and that simple faith was more satisfying than having him tell us all his secrets all the time out of duty. At least it finally proved he was human…and perhaps it proved that I was human too, if I evoked such trust and human feeling then surely I was deserving of it, ne? I liked to think so anyway. Now here he was telling us more of his grand plan, and it mad me feel, despite the fact that Weiss and the rest of Schwartz were here too, decidedly special. I had always liked that feeling.

Maybe this day wasn't going to be so weird after all.

-------------

//Ken//

Darkness and light. 

I was swimming in it, I was floating in it. I could feel it and it was…soft. I was floating and I was light. I wasn't sore but I should be. I wasn't on the ground but I should be. I could feel a hand on my own, yet there was no one there. I could see my own feet wrapped in the maw, and my own head doused in light. I could feel it…I could feel it.

"Where am I?" I asked softly and I let myself go to wherever my body wanted to take me in this weightlessness.

There was no answer, nothing distinct. I thought for a moment that I could hear the ocean, waves crashing against pebbles and scraping and tousling them together as they were raked back down into the water. Then it changed to footsteps, and I thought I could hear someone crying, though I wasn't certain. I thought for a moment I could feel something pressed against my back, yet when I moved my arm to feel what it was I found nothing was there. I was still suspended in this place of dark and light, just listening to the vague sounds surrounding me. For some reason that I couldn't fathom I felt strangely at peace in this place, even though I had no idea where I was or what I was doing here. I remembered very little of where I had been before I came here, but there was a vague notion in the back of my mind that told me I should be in some sort of pain. Yet I felt nothing. I just felt…serene.

-…So sorry…- was whispered.

I twisted round to try and find the source of the voice I was certain I had heard. Yet when I turned there was no one there, only a blinding light that shone amidst a pool of inky black right in front of me. It had come out of no where, yet it was as if it had always been there. I just hadn't noticed it until now. It was like a star in the abyss of space, shining defiantly and brilliantly against the stark contrast of the void. I felt strangely compelled towards it, somehow drifting forwards through this fantasy landscape towards the glowing orb. For some reason, when I neared it, I was overwhelmed with a strong sense of recognition and familiarity…even love. I wasn't sure why, and I wasn't even sure what it was that I was nearing. Dammit, I didn't even know where I was! I was just here because…I felt safe here. I couldn't explain that either.

-You're alright…Ken,- the voice whispered again, yet seemingly more to itself than to me; it had been more of a…wish, than a statement of fact or a question.

I just nodded absently and tried not to feel too sick as the light and the dark swirled together suddenly. I reached out my hand unconsciously and touched the light that danced uncertainly in front of me. It responded instantly, as soon as I touched it. I just gasped as I was suddenly flooded with a vast array of emotions and thoughts and images and feelings…and hopes…and…

…and love… 

…and Ran in the park smiling…

…and anger…

…and Ran in the moonlight laughing…

…and worry… 

…and…

Then it was gone. The light was gone so suddenly, and once again the darkness swirled around me ominously. I tried not to cry out at the loss, I felt like I had lost something so dear to me. It was like my soul had gone out in a puff of smoke, yet it wasn't my soul…I felt a great fear growing tightly in my chest. Then the whole landscape suddenly began to waver around the edges.

-Who is this person called…Ken?" – the voice asked suddenly from the darkness, and for some reason that statement hurt most of all. I just couldn't comprehend it right now. It was just wrong to hear it, just wrong that they shouldn't know who I was.

Then I was awake.

I was in my room.

I was in the dark.

I couldn't feel that safe warm feeling, it was gone completely.

Kuso.

As I sat up in the bed I thought for a moment, as stars danced before my eyes, that I saw a flash of crimson tears and pain. I couldn't understand it, I was sore all over…yet a moment ago I had been fine. 

"Must have blacked out," I murmured quietly to myself so as not to disturb the raging headache that was making itself known now that I was fully awake, "damn weird dream though."

"I think blacked out is putting it mildly," came the smug tone from the darkness.

I would have jumped three feet into the air if my head would have permitted it. Unfortunately I think there was a severe risk of it falling off if I had done that, so I levelled my reaction down to just a curse and a start.

"Fucking hell!" I said, "Who's there?"

"Well, I'm hurt that you don't remember me," came the pouty reply, "I thought you would have more of a memory for your mortal enemies."

"…Schuldich?" I said warily, forgetting to use codenames in my surprise; yet I had always thought that Weiss and Schwartz had gotten past codenames a long time ago, and Schwartz's were so silly sounding…but that's not important.

"Bingo," he said with a snap of his fingers and I could almost see the nasty smirk on his smug face as he said it.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I said with a slight growl; I wasn't in the mood for pleasantries and I guess that I've never really been famous for my subtlety. I wasn't going to wreck my image now.

"To help of course," he said back, the rustle of fabric indicating a shrug.

"Yeah, to help yourself more likely," I snorted, trying not to die from the amazing searing pain that accompanied the small gesture.

"Hmmm, you learn fast," he chuckled back, "yet I think that in helping myself this time that you will also benefit. I mean, don't get me wrong, if I could avoid that pleasantry I would, yet it seems inevitable. So I guess I'll be stuck with this good deed on my record now. I always knew you four were bad for my style."

"…You know what," I said wearily as I feebly rubbed at my head and tried to comprehend the situation, "you talk too much."

"That's not an original insult," the German snorted.

There was something preying n the edge of my mind, like a dream not quite remembered…then all of a sudden…

"Ran!" I shouted, actually startling the other man as my thought had come so out of the blue; I didn't care about the pain that lanced through my head and down my spine as I said it, "Where is he, where is Ran!?"

"Hell will you keep it down, sheesh!" the redhead complained, "here I am assigned to babysitting duty, having to sit here in the dark lie an ass and you can't even be considerate enough to think quietly!"

"Just quit prattling and tell me!" I shouted back, groaning as I felt a fog like feeling descend over my mind and the space behind my eyes begin to throb.

"…Well," came the smug reply, "I could tell you…if you ask nicely."

I sighed, finally letting the pain allay my anger while I let my head settle down.

I could tell this just wasn't going t be my day.

…And for some reason I couldn't get the image of light being extinguished my dark out of my head…and Ran laughing…and Ran smiling…and Ran not knowing my name.

…And that hurt more than anything else.

AN: Wow, this took me long enough didn't it!?!? For some reason I got severe writers block after finishing the first POV, and then after every other POV I just had writers block too! Ahhh! But now it's finished, yet I still don't really like it that much. I think that there's something not quite finished about it but then that might just be me. I can't help it, I'm a perfectionist! Okay, enough rambling! I actually have the next chapter mapped out, and it will be linked to this one through the events during Ken's POV. I had originally planned to have the events in the next chapter take place at the end of this one, but I thought it would be to long and not flow properly. So I hope it still makes sense! You can kick my ass if it doesn't, really!

Alright, enough already! As always feedback is very welcome, please R&R! 

Ps: Thank you so much for all the reviews! You really are too kind to my hash of a story *^-^*, love and peace and stuff and a charm against writers block to all of you!

Thank you also to Tschubi-chan for the hints with the german spelling. I finally found the "a" with an umlaut, yay! So no worries, but please point out my mistakes because I don't have a beta reader and I make so many ^~ ^!


	9. Fading to white

**Chapter 9**

****

**Fading to white**

Gunshots.

Bullets.

I had to run, but I felt frozen to the spot. I had to fight but I felt more scared than I ever had in my life. I had never felt so out of control, never so hauntingly hanging in limbo like some limp puppet. 

Ken…

…I tried to kill him. _Kill_ him. Oh god…

It was the most murderous, betraying thought I had ever thought in a long time and I never wanted to have it again. So I ran. I jumped from the crackling, gaping hole in the wall while I hid my look of terror behind a mask of indignant rage. 

I was confused, running like a blind man from the scene of some terrible crime. I didn't know how I had come to be here, back at the safe house with Ken quailing in fear beneath my raised fist. The last thing I remembered was standing in the park and seeing Ken…and now I was trying to kill him and Schwartz were here and Yoji was unconscious and…oh god, what had I done...?

I didn't want to know. So I just kept running. I couldn't let the enemy know, couldn't let Schwarz know what I was feeling, couldn't show fault or flaw to the enemy. I couldn't let them know how weak I felt in heart and body or I would most certainly fall. But…

…Wasn't I falling already? Hadn't I already fallen further than I'd ever anticipated anyone could? Ever anticipated that I could? I felt dark and alone and isolated and my mind was a whirlwind of treachery and deceit and pain and loss. Loss of what I was not sure, but there was loss in there, struggling and pulling its way through the darkness as my boots clicked over the road hard and fast like a metronome. 

The bullets spat and snapped at me, but I used my power to shield myself. I wasn't sure why or how I did it, maybe it was more of an instinctual reaction than an act of self preservation. Whatever my twisted black drop of a mind had decided to do it was saving my life right now, so I let it do what it wanted while I kept on running through the steadily darkening street. My mind had begun to waver now, a huge tumult of darkness and light a swirling vortex just behind the barriers of my eyes, and I felt like I was no longer in control of myself. I felt like someone else was slipping into my skin, making me move my legs, using my hands to clear my path of garbage cans and park benches. I watched with a dull horror as the metal and wood splintered on far walls with the force of the throw. I felt myself scream in shame and terror yet no sound would escape my lips. I felt like something was bottling me up inside myself, pushing me down so far that I could hardly even see through my own eyes as I felt my body suddenly halt and turn as a name was shouted. It sounded far off and distant, like an echo through a winding tunnel…

"Abyssinian!" it cried in a tone so commanding that even my treacherous body could not resist the urge to obey the underlying command to stop.

I barely saw the man who stood on the opposite side of the slick wet street, absently noting that rain had begun to fall. I could just see the shimmering light reflecting off his glasses and the slick gun-metal revolver which held steady in his confident grasp. I barely felt myself lift my hands and place them together as I let out a blast of energy towards my pursuer. It was so out of my control that it made my gut twist in revulsion at the feeling of my own hands not being under my control. The very thought made me want to turn and run again until all of…this was left far behind me like a distant nightmare. I didn't want to see that man blown into the wall like those fragile seeming park benches, watch him shatter as he hit… 

Yet, even as I willed my body to move with all my strength, that eventuality never came to fruition.

The sound of energy frazzling and bouncing and crackling off energy hit my ears like a tempest. I was not so well protected in my suppressed psyche to be able to ignore the fact that my ears were ringing like church bells. Or that the man with the glasses wasn't alone. The little boy who stood next to him, hands upraised in a mirror image to my own, was blinking in surprise at my talent. It was almost as if we were exact mirror images, myself and little Prodigy, both just as confused as to the situation, and both acting purely out of instinct. I tried not to dwell on the fact that I was comparing myself to my enemies and finding unique similarities; that fact was too dark and raging for me to want to add it to my already unstable mind. 

Yet was it even my mind at all anymore?

-…So sorry…- was all I could coherently string together as a sudden darkness veiled my vision.

I felt myself break into a run all of a sudden, my preternatural speed flinging my legs farther than it should be humanly possible to do. I felt the wind on my face, but it was an absent far off feeling that I barely registered as my own. I had wanted to run from this confusion, this pain, yet it was not my own will that made my body move. I had no idea what was happeneing. I felt like I was trapped inside my own body, that the safe warm feeling that Aya-chan had inspired in me was now gone and that I was falling.

Falling…

………...into what?

……………………Where am I?

………………………………….Why is it so dark?

……………………………………………………Am I dead?

………………………………………………………………..Am I dying?

……………………………………………………………………………..Is…Ken alright?

-You're alright…Ken, - I blurted out, trying to grasp onto the sickening swirl of the darkness that was pervading my mind like a slick poison. It was jumbling my thoughts, making me feel things I hadn't felt since I was twelve years old, bringing back memories that I had closed off a lifetime ago and hoped would never to resurface.

**-**** = 19 \* CHINESENUM3 ****十九********-  **  [1]

The number flashed into my mind, stark white on black background. I blanched at the pain it dredged from my mind, the memories it brought back, blanched as I felt myself become smaller and smaller in the consuming darkness. The memory was so stark and yet vague all at the same time. I felt like, like I was really there, back there again at the start of my nightmare. I could feel the flames, I could see the destruction and the pain and feel the heart wrenching sorrow of my sister so cold and so unresponsive in my arms. I almost cried out in horror before I realised that it was all an illusion, my twisted mind dredging up the most painful of memories. I thought I had locked them up and thrown away the key. 

Obviously not. 

Then it subsided and I managed to gain some semblance of control over myself. I looked to the darkness all around me like I had never seen anything so pitch, so fathomless. Yet I don't think that I ever had. It was like being inside a vat of tar, inside a void so devoid of light that nothing bright could ever exist inside of it. Yet…there was a light. It was me? Me? I felt like I was glowing, yet when I tried to look down at my hands I found nothing. It was like I didn't even have a body anymore, like I was nothing but a refuge of light cut off in this suppressing darkness. I could still feel what my body was doing, could still feel the wind on my face. Yet more importantly I could feel the raging swell of memories and pain towering high above, ready to consume me like a tsunami. I hid from it, cowered back as I felt it rush towards me. I didn't want to see, not that again…please…

…please…

…Ken…

…help me…

Then there was the touch. I felt it like a blinding spark, a surge of raw electricity that carried with it pain and remembrance. The darkness had melded with my sanctuary of light, the darkness had found its way in to my very being, my very essence. I had thought myself almost naively safe here for one precious moment, suppressed but safe; yet that was all a false hope, a natural fear in the face of destruction. That was what was happening though wasn't it? I was being destroyed, slowly poisoned from the inside out…and there was no one here to save me. Not this time. Not ever now. I was alone. I was…dead.

Then that feeling…that…

…my…god.

The second touch. It was so, pure. I could feel its…familiarity, its friendship, its…love. It was…

…Ken?

And it brought back memories. Good memories.

The time when Aya-chan and I had gone to the park to get ice cream and she had dropped hers into the grass so I had given her mine. I had smiled at her through the sunlight, like I hadn't done for years now. 

The time we had all gone on holiday and I had snuck out to the beach at night and had stood laughing at the beauty of the midnight ocean. The time that…

Then it was gone. I was gone. The darkness had…won…no…I couldn't let it go…not now…Ken was helping…Ken was…Ken…Ke…

I felt the darkness consume what little was left of my mind with one swift gulp. I screamed as I felt my mind disintegrating, being torn apart and chewed up into unrecognisable little pieces. I wanted to cry out, but all connection to my physical being had been severed. I was alone and dying in the darkness, all alone like I had been for so long. 

I didn't want to be alone anymore.

I didn't…want to die…Ken, please…

The darkness chuckled and shifted around me, the voice emanating from its own sickening maw a terrifying parody of my own. As I felt the last of my light snuffed out, its voice followed me into the void, echoing and emblazoning itself into my memory.

-Who is this person called…Ken?-

And it was like someone was there with me, watching the slow dematerialisation of my will, my testament to my own sanity, my…well, me. I think I knew who it was, I think that I knew who was there beside me in the darkness; they were the only other bright light in this horrible sickening dark. I think that was why the insubstantial remains of my tattered mind, crying and broken and scarred drifted towards that bright centre to what had become my universe. I think that I saw brown eyes, maybe more chocolate…so warm…so…serene. I just latched onto that light before it left, dissipating into the ether like blackness, becoming one with it and melding with it. It felt so safe, so warm, so inviting, so…

"…Ken" I finished in a shadow soft whisper that flitted through the cavernous maw before I lost all of my consciousness to that blinding white light.

[1] – This is the number 19 in Japanese. I thought it would be more appropriate if Ran thought in Japanese considering, well…that he's Japanese! I'm not actually sure when Ran's family was killed and his sister went into a coma, but the number 19 brings back some vague memory. If it's wrong then please tell me because I'm not sure myself ^-^!

AN: Well, couldn't resist it ^~ ^ woops! As if I would let Ran go that easily! Hope this is making sense (ha ha!). As ever please R&R, feedback welcome ^-^.


	10. To turn traitor

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz, nuff said ^-^!

****

**Chapter 10**

****

**To turn traitor**

They sat around a single flickering flame, three lone figures, their long hair dancing in the slight breeze coming from the doorway. The room in which they sat was not too big but not too small either with a tall domed ceiling boasting a skylight through which the stars shone. The doors were tall and inlaid with stained glass depicting scenes from a story that was followed by the murals on the whitewashed walls. The murals were barely discernable in the faint light, yet each of the three occupants of the room knew them by heart anyway. They were pictures that showed the resurrection of The One and his subsequent glorious rule over all mankind.

The three figures sitting around the single brazier the room contained were not old and not young, their faces seeming quite ageless in their serenity. Each figures hair was down to their waists and straight as an arrow. One of the males had black hair, the other light brown and the female blonde. Their robes were all in black and rimmed in red. They sat, calm and unaffected by the darkness, eyes closed and bodies motionless. Not a sound could be heard in that room apart from the occasional rustling of the breeze through the trees outside.

The room itself could be found in a house formerly owned by the Sanroujin of Esset, the three leader's former mountain top residence. There had been a little redecorating since the three powerful psi's had reigned from their high perch in the mountains, but apart from that the residence remained just as it had always been; apart from the fact that there were now some new occupants.

"Ryo," the silence was shattered suddenly as one of the three, he with the light brown hair, spoke, "I am finished."

The man with the black hair opened his eyes, showing their blood red nature to the light. He turned to face his companion silently, regarding him carefully as the flame danced over his features.

"As am I," Ryo nodded slowly, his long black hair bobbing slightly with the movement, "Akata?"

"Yes, I am done," the girl nodded, keeping her eyes shut as she spoke.

"Osei," Ryo asked and the brown haired man nodded, "turn the page."

"Hai," the brunette answered reverently, reaching forward to place his hand on a large book that sat in front of him.

The book itself contained Holy Scriptures which prophesied the coming of the Great God. There were holy rites and chants described and noted in the book, and the three figures were chanting them slowly as they sat soundlessly with their eyes closed. There was no sound, yet they chanted incessantly, just above the hearing level of humans.

Osei turned the page and then settled back into his meditative position to continue his chants. The other two followed his example. The chanting continued and the brazier flickered in the breeze. All was quiet once more on the mountain. The shadows lengthened.

Then suddenly there was a disturbance in the air. Ryo opened his eyes suddenly and growled in annoyance. Osei and Akata followed his actions and in turn they all stood, ready for battle. Each one had heard it, the sound of footsteps nearing the compound. They were here to help The One, but also to protect him. They would not allow just any passer by to gain access to their sanctuary. Each of them would rather give their life than see their lord harmed. Yet…as Ryo walked towards the great wooden doors that led to the mountain outside, he felt the vibration of a great power in the air. He stopped just short of the doors, Osei and Akata behind him, and listened. There was silence, yet he could hear all he needed to.

"Great power," he said softly, more to himself than his companions, "there is a great power coming this…"

He was not allowed to finish his sentence. Suddenly a door, hidden in the shadows at the back of the hallway opened softly. All three kneeled instinctively and reverently, not even taking the time to turn around and face the newcomer. There was the sound of small feet crossing over the floorboards towards the three kneeling figures, stopping just outside the light of the brazier.

"Let him come," the figure said, "he is mine now."

Ryo nodded but never looked up or stood. He just knelt there waiting for the command to rise along with the other two. The sound of footsteps had grown louder, nearing the sanctuary at an unnatural speed. No one moved as they stopped outside the doorway, waiting to be called upon.

"You will take care of him Ryo," the figure said, stepping into the light as it did so.

Her soft white dress was free of blood now, her hair back into its original braids. Her small face was serene and kindly, her hands clasping over her waist as she waited for acknowledgement from her servant. She was as she had always been, as her brother would always remember her, yet there was ne slight yet significant difference. Her eyes were pitch black, no whites visible over the darkness. It seemed to swirl as she stood there in the light, dancing and absorbing the brightness itself. 

"Yes my lord," Ryo said back without question, the young girl smiling as she heard these words.

"Enter," she said then, softly as the wid.

The doors opened as if by her command, yet in a way it was. The newcomer stepped into the hallway; his head bowed as he close the doorway. He was almost invisible in his black coat and boots, only his pale face and his hair visible in the dim light. Ryo did not break his kneel, yet lifted his eyes to regard the newcomer. He was tall, well built, his eyes severe as was his face. He noted absently that his hair was the same shade of crimson as his own eyes.

"My lord," the newcomer said softly, the wind rushing through the trees harshly as he spoke, dying down as he stopped.

"Ran," the little girl smiled disturbingly, "you're home."

AN: Just a short to try and explain a little more of the plot. Hope it worked! As always R&R, feedback welcome.


	11. In the light of night

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or Schwartz or ANYTHING! Thus no suing, yay, and no money…darn.

****

**Chapter 11**

****

**In the light of night**

It was about four hours until the negotiations were over. Four hours of bargaining and bartering for information with Bombay before we had made any sort of headway at all. Finally, as darkness had begun to give way to the beginnings of dawn, the participants had dispersed, Bombay leaving with Nagi and Balinese with Farferello. It had been decided that one of each team would sleep in the same room as another of the other team, just as a safety precaution against plotting and conspiring. Of course, no sane man would let Farferello spend the night with an enemy and expect him to be able to resist the temptation of mutilation. So he would have his own room, I would sleep with Siberian and Schuldich with Balinese. A dangerous combination I know, but I had seen the way Schuldich was already teasing the living daylights out of Siberian, and that young man could be very impulsive when he wanted to be. At least I knew that Balinese had more self restraint.

As I sat in silence the sound of footsteps on the stairs drifted to my ears, slow and methodical, approaching the room where I sat alone in meditation. They stopped outside the open door, leaving a moment of silence before the person spoke.

"This was a bad idea," said voice from the doorway, the long trail of smoke floating into the room telling me that it was Schuldich that was moaning again. 

Not that I really needed to be told considering I knew that he was going to be there even before he did himself. I heard the tell tale sound of a cigarette butt being ground out on the floor and just continued to stare forwards towards the lamp in front of me in contemplation. It was too bright compared to its surroundings, so I just looked away and sighed sitting forward in the chair that I had adopted for my negotiations; a large, old, black recliner that was a little worse for wear yet entirely comfortable. It was still dark outside and the curtains were drawn against the streetlamps and prying eyes leaving the room dull. The only light in the room emanated from one lone lamp sitting dejectedly on the table, all the others either broken or completely disconnected from the power by the fight. It had done more damage than it seemed; half the building was now without electricity and hot water, the mains having been damaged along with the water supply pipe. If there was one thing I hated it was inefficiency and this building, admittedly an old building, was rife with it.

"So," the redhead ignored my silence and entered the dimly lit room anyway, feet making no sound on the uneven floorboards.

"How's Siberian?" I asked before he could continue.

"Unconscious once more," he smirked, "he wasn't exactly too happy when I told him about his precious Ran so I "helped" him to sleep. Lump on his head the size of a brick, but he'll live."

"Good," I nodded, not looking at him once.

"So," the redhead started once again, not pausing this time to give me the chance to interrupt, "how did it go?"

"Desirably," I replied after a pause, stopping so flick some dust from my immaculate jacket sleeve before returning my gaze to the lamp.

"That sounds too evasive to be good," Schuldich smirked as he took a seat on the couch to my right, pulling out a packet of cigarettes from his green overcoat, "what did you have to give up?"

"Not enough for anything to be jeopardized," I said once again not giving anything away.

I must have still been in defensive, I'm-not-giving-you-ANY-information mode, side effects of having a negotiation with the enemy, because Schuldich suddenly became very annoyed.

"Is there an actual reason you're being an asshole," he paused to take a long drag of his newly lit cigarette before continuing, "or is it just a trend you're slipping back into?"

"Don't try me Schuldich," I snapped testily, "I'm in no mood to deal with you at the moment."

"Oh," said telepath smirked, leaning back comfortably on the couch and crossing his long legs, "so I see the negotiations didn't go entirely as "desirably" as was foreseen then?"

I sighed irritably through my nose at the insult to my power, knowing full well that the German was just trying to goad the information out of me because he knew I was being secretive. However, even though I knew what he was doing, I couldn't for once in my life be bothered putting up a fight. On the surface I told myself it was because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but in reality I knew it was really because I was to tried and tired to even try.

"I told them about my vision," I said plainly, knowing full well what sort of reaction that would get.

There was an ominous silence then, only the sound of some early morning birds outside disturbing the less than serine calm that had descended over the room. I continued to stare ahead of me, not looking directly at the other occupant of the room for fear that I would turn to stone under the gaze I knew he was giving me. I nearly laughed out loud at the thought, but thought better of it as I heard Schuldich take another drag from his cigarette. The smoke glided across my vision as he let it out in a long slow stream, the light hazing as it struggled through the smog.

"How much of it did you tell to them?" he asked casually, yet I could hear the slight strain in his voice that he was trying to mask.

"In this sort of situation it is a severe risk to hold back any important information," I told him as if I was giving a lecture, pushing my glasses up my nose as I spoke, "so I told them everything about it."

"Everything," he said with a small snort and an almost wistful shake of his head.

There was silence once more as we both just continued to sit, neither wanting to be the next to speak. I knew what he was thinking, and I knew that he was right to think it. I should have told him as soon as I had the vision, I should have let him know what I had seen. Now I had ended up telling the enemy before I had even let my own team know exactly what I had seen or even what I was planning to do. Yet, awkwardly enough, there was a part of me that still believed that I should be able to keep whichever secrets I wished from whomever I wished. It was an annoying part of myself that I had never been able to shake off, useful at times and at others, damned inconvenient.

"Were you planning on telling us at all?" Schuldich voiced my own thoughts as if he had read them, although I knew that he hadn't; I would have known, I always did.

"When the time was right," I nodded as if this conversation wasn't affecting me in the slightest.

"And when exactly would that be?" the redhead asked with conviction, stubbing his cigarette out on the arm of the couch, not caring about the back hole he left there.

"Right about now," I informed him, turning to look at him for the first time since he had entered the room.

He was staring at me from underneath his long dishevelled auburn hair, his trademark bandanna having been removed for comforts sakes. His eyes didn't turn me to stone, yet they had a good enough go at it. They were, or it seemed so, shifting colour from that deep forest green into that depths-of-the-ocean blue, an odd trait that I'm not quite sure where he picked up. Yet I did know however that when his eyes seemed to change from colour to colour that it spelled trouble for whomever their gaze was resting on. I wasn't exactly thrilled to be in the line of sight right at that moment.

"You're a card Crawford, you know that right," Schuldich uncrossed his legs and sat forwards to rest his hands on his knees, his face showing his aggravation, "a real card."

"I told you I was in no…"

"Yeah, yeah, in no mood to deal with me, well guess what I don't care. I'm right here and you can just deal with me, alright?" deep blue eyes flashed menacingly in the lamplight, surprising me with their vehemence, "I have to tell you Crawford that this wasn't exactly the way I planned to spend my night, fighting and babysitting and pairing up with the enemy. But I didn't say no did I? So don't turn round to me and say _you're_ not in the mood, alright?"

His voice was surprisingly calm, considering when Schuldich wants to blow up he usually does a really good impression of a fireworks factory coming into contact with an arsonist. I just sat and stared at him, a little surprised that he was doing this now of all times, yet not really that surprised that he was doing it. I felt like doing it myself, even just to vent a little frustration. Yet I still had my self control and that was all I needed to keep me sane.

"Are you finished?" I asked with a raise of an eyebrow, eliciting a narrowing of the eyes from Schuldich.

"Not really, but go ahead," he waved his hand lazily and looked away from my eyes, "say what you're going to say."

"I was going to say," I continued as if he hadn't spoken at all, "that during my vision…I did not see Schwartz die."

"But," Schuldich frowned at me, "you said that…"

"Yes, I know what I said, and it was a half truth," I interrupted him before he could go on any sort of rant about my supposed infallibility, "what I actually saw was only one death before my vision ended."

There was a silence then, Schuldich sitting forward on the edge of the couch with an anticipatory look on his face and I with a look of resignation. He lifted his eyebrows as I continued to sit in silence, hoping to prompt me with the gesture.

"Well," he growled finally, "who was it?"

"It was you," I said simply.

Schuldich hid whatever emotion that passed through his body on hearing this fact with practiced ease. He was silent for no more than three seconds before he was composed enough to ignore the fear that had seeped involuntarily into my tone as I spoke of my vision.

"What did you see exactly?" he asked as he flicked a stray lock of hair from his eyes only to have it fall right back down again.

"Take a look for yourself," I offered in invitation.

He seemed to hesitate then, knowing that it would be less harsh and disturbing if I were just to describe it to him. Yet it would not be the first time that Schuldich had seen his own death through my eyes. He was no longer squeamish about these things it seemed because he rose to the challenge. I opened my mind then, letting the mental barriers that lay around my vision lower completely. I didn't react as I felt that familiar presence in my mind, like someone brushing their fingers through a pool of still water. It was calming, almost serene in its familiarity, yet still an intrusion. I tensed as Schuldich sought out that one particular vision, being forced to watch it once more with him as it played over again in my mind. I flinched as the blood flowed, as the screams seemed to reverberate throughout my skull. I closed my eyes as if through that simple action I could shut out the image of his eyes rolling back in his head, the feel of that last breath against my neck. Then suddenly it was broken off, Schuldich retreating from my mind quickly to settle back into his own. I opened my eyes slowly to regard him, his pale face revealing only slight discomfort. I recognised however the tell tale signs of horror in those once more forest green eyes. 

"You sure have some imagination," he snorted a laugh to try and cover his disgust at seeing his own horrific death.

"Thankfully it was not I who concocted this vision," I said levelly, "but a fate that has since been averted."

"Yes, thankfully," he replied with a slight nod, letting out a long slow breath.

"So, do you believe now that I followed the correct course of action in seeking out Weiss tonight?" I asked with a raise of an eyebrow.

"You mean last night," the redhead corrected me annoyingly as he pointed to the clock on the wall, "and…yes I do. Not that I still don't think this was a bad idea."

"There's just no pleasing some people," I muttered under a sigh, letting my head roll back against the thick cushioned headrest of the chair.

Now that Schuldich had so helpfully pointed out the clock to me I could hear nothing over its incessant ticking. I cursed mentally as the ticking seemed to grow louder and louder, the silence fading away into the background. 

"So you told them about your premonition," Schuldich's curious voice cut through the annoying ticking, "and what did they tell you in return?"

"They showed me some rather…disturbing news," I replied slowly, wondering how the rest of my team would take it when I told them about the encrypted message.

"Can't be more disturbing than what I just saw," Schuldich snorted, "so shoot."

"It was an Esset coded message," I told him, "telling the order that The One had been successfully resurrected."

"Heh, well their going to be getting a bit of a shock when they find out the truth then aren't they," the redhead said, letting a bitter laugh escape his lips.

"Well, that's just the thing," I said with a sigh, "it seems that this message is no fake. It seems to have been sent by the Sanroujin shortly before their death. It holds very specific details and…it seems that, considering all that has happened tonight, that it may well be true."

"True?" Schuldich frowned, looking at me as if I had gone mad, "What are you talking about? That girl was dead, I carried her out of that place myself! I'm telling you her mind was gone, she was dead!"

"Exactly," I sad back, "leaving room for another entity to enter her vacated body."

"But…" Schuldich started, stopping when he realised he didn't know what he was going to say, "…but, well, wouldn't we have noticed?"

"Why should we have?" I shrugged nonchalantly.

"If this is real…Crawford how can you be taking this so lightly!?" the German finally exploded. 

"I am not taking this lightly Schuldich," I warned him with a glare, "I'm just not sure what to believe right now."

"Well, you'd better hurry up and figure something out," my companion told me as he leaned back in his chair, "I don't thin I'd really like to see that premonition of yours come true."

"It wont," I said a little too quickly, cursing mentally as Schuldich picked up on my reaction.

"Yeah," he said with a small smile and a single nod, "I know it wont."

Silence settled back down over the room. The clock continued to tick. It mixed with my thoughts, scrambling them, breaking my concentration. I cursed the stupid thing, wanting nothing more than to take it off the wall and smash it to pieces. Yet I still possessed my beloved self control and so refrained from doing so. It sounded more like a jack hammer than a second hand by the time I sat up in annoyance and proclaimed that I was going to bed. Schuldich just nodded at me, seeming to be too off in his own world of thoughts to really notice my discomfort.

"Oh and Crawford," he said suddenly, stopping me as I stood in the doorway, "about the card thing, you're not a card."

"Of course I'm not," I said with a slight smirk.

"No, really, I mean it," he said sincerely, "you're a good leader. I just think that you should open up some more."

"Haven't we already had this conversation?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, "About three years ago?"

"Well, it seems like we're having to have it again," Schuldich smirked, "that tell you anything?"

"I told you…"

"You are in no mood to deal with me tonight, yeah I know already," the redhead shook his head and sighed, "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes," I said coldly, closing the door behind me as I left.

Yet, despite my tone, I could feel the humour drifting through the mental link that I and the redhead shared. Schuldich was laughing behind that closed door and, oddly enough, it didn't make me angry. Instead it made me…relieved. He was happy, I could feel it even as I stepped into the dark room where Siberian slept. It had been a long time since I had actually seen any of my team happy, including myself. I couldn't really say that it was ne of my main goals, but it was good for morale at least.

-Yes, - I thought as I sat down in the chair Schuldich had previously occupied and prepared to sleep, -good for morale. That's what it's for.-

I let my face relax as I prepared to sleep, taking off my glasses and resting them on the arm of the chair. Yet somewhere, deep down in my mind, I could have sworn I was smiling.

AN: Crawford? Going soft? Nooooooooooo! Don't worry, it won't last long ^-^. As always please R&R, and thanks for the reviews, they really do help get my ass into gear, lol!


	12. The bed

Disclaimer: Weiss aren't mine and Schwartz neither, yarrr!!

Key: _denotes flashback_

-_Denotes thoughts_-

****

**Chapter 12**

****

**The bed**

****

Ye god's but Brad could be a prick sometimes! I mean, what has it been, fifteen years? He's still like a brick wall with a stick up its ass…if that's even possible. Well, I think you get my drift anyway, he's a hard ass of the first degree. 

"Stupid precogs," I smirked as I left the little room where Crawford and I had talked, "think they're so smart."

Sometimes, I really just wish that I knew what was going on in his head. Heh, I know what you're thinking, some telepath me, ne? Well, as you've probably guessed, it wasn't long after I met Brad Crawford that the rules for mind reading were laid down. 

_So, the coast was clear. _

_-_Life is good, - _was all I could think._

_I crept through the hallway on silent feet, feeling like a ghost in my new house. At least I'd stayed here long enough to be able to find my way to my room drunk, or I might have been in very big trouble._

_As I listened to the absent minded brain waves floating around the house I could hear Farferello asleep, for once, in his room one floor down. That little silent boy, Nagi his name was, was on his computer…again._

_-_Man what a nerd_, - I admonished, shaking my head as I made my way to my room as quietly as possible._

_And, yes, it was…all clear on the Crawford front, yeehaa! _

_All I needed to do was make it to the room, then everything would be fine. I could explain anything from that most sacred of places and, on some rare occasions, even deny entry to whomever was trying to barge in. Yet, of course, just when things are looking up something comes to trip you up and bring you down. _

_"Just where do you think you've been?"_

_-_Damn, so close_, - I cursed mentally, my hand left reaching out for my bedroom door handle forlornly._

_I turned, lithely and in control which was surprising considering I had had quite a bit to drink, and looked at Brad as he stood in his big bright doorway. I knew what was coming; I could feel it in the air, the way the atmosphere itself seemed to crisp in anticipation. It was all tense and rigid, just like Brad as he stared at me from behind his glasses. He looked very calm, for a person about to kill someone. Damn him and his big bright doorways…_

_"Well," I said in a drunken state of complete unconcern for my own well being, "how about I let you smell my breath and you can guess which bar's I've been to?"_

_I think I skipped all our usual banter with that one statement, jumping straight to them part where he tries to kill me. I knew that because at that moment he took three long strides towards me and pinned me up against the wall with sober ease. I, however, in my drunken state was less graceful in my movements and my reaction time was somewhat slowed. Under normal circumstances I could have had easily just swerved out of his grip but this time I was caught like a butterfly on a pin. _

_"Hmm, so that's a no then is it?" I smirked lopsidedly as Brad's hands dug into my shoulders like two vices._

_"How about you shut up and listen to me before I shut you up myself," it wasn't a question by any means._

_I just nodded lazily, having to restrain myself a lot not to sigh and roll my eyes. This was getting very old, and I was never the patient type. I get bored easily; so bite me, I'm just not the type who appreciates getting roughly shoved up against walls weekly…well, apart from when it's for…but we won't go there! Anyway, I'm defiantly not one to be dominated and, for all intents and purposes, Brad Crawford was a dominator. We weren't exactly a match made in heaven._

_"We are supposed to be staying inconspicuous while we establish ourselves as a group first of all," he said calmly and evenly, his eyes dark and shadowed and an unreadable expression on his face, "and then at least try and act like a group after that."_

_I couldn't help myself, I just had to say something…anything…just the smallest of…_

_"I am inconspicuous," I pouted, knowing that I was as inconspicuous in __Japan__, with my bright auburn hair and my height, as a wolf at a sheep only party._

_Before I even knew what was happening there was a fist deep in my gut. I spluttered for air, my alcohol soaked brain trying to remember if I should be laughing or crying right now. Not that I ever cry, even when I get this drunk. Brad supported me as I coughed and hacked and tried to breathe, quite generous of him considering he'd just punched me in the stomach. I knew it had been coming; I didn't even have to have Brad's power to see that one a mile away. It was what I did every time, and then what he did every time…_

_"I thought you were going to shut up and listen?" I heard him saying in that same cool tone, "So do as I tell you before I kill you myself and save the people I'm protecting you from some trouble."_

_I think my brain wasn't stupid enough, even though it was resting in juices that were probably about 50% proof, to try another smart comeback. I just stood and listened to him tell me the same lecture he always told me, about blah blah blah blah…that's what it always turned into by the fifth word. I just stared with a glazed expression at him and nodded. It was then, for some unknown reason, that I seemed to notice Brad's unreadable expression as if for the first time. As I stared longer, the more it annoyed me. I wanted to know what he was thinking, like I always knew what everyone else was thinking. Brad was such an enigma sometimes…_

_-_Maybe just a little peek_…- I told myself as I suppressed a smirk and set my mind as best I could._

_I tenaciously, as tenaciously as you can when blind drunk, probed at the outskirts of Brad's mind, hoping for some feedback. I thought that he wouldn't notice because I was being so careful, but no. Well, he is the damn Oracle after all! He probably knew I was going to do it before I did myself…annoyingly. That was why, when I probed just that little bit deeper, I very quickly found a gun under my chin. The cold hard metal digging into my jaw was more than enough to sober me up, like one hundred cups of coffee in one shot. I stopped everything, suddenly very aware of the almost coldly blank look on Brad's face. It was suddenly more scary than interesting, the fact that he looked every bit the ruthless killer, mostly because of the fact that he had a gun to my head._

_"Never," his voice was like an ice cube down my spine, "go into my mind. Do you hear me?"_

_I just nodded slightly, not wanting to set off the trigger by mistake. I could have sworn though, even though I was actually scared that he was going to shoot me for a moment, that all I felt like doing was laughing. I really had to suppress that extremely drunken urge and I'm glad I did. I probably would have had my brains splattered all over the wall if I had done. He let me go then, taking the gun from under my chin and putting it back in its holster. I just slumped back against the wall, waiting for him to go away so I could laugh. He closed his door, I went into my room. It was a countdown to explosion, five, four, three, two, one…_

I can still remember Crawford coming through and taking pot shots at me that night when I started laughing my head off. Man, I was so drunk, drunk enough to challenge even Crawford's temper, cool as it might be at times. I think I'm one of the only people in the world who really gets on his nerves, inadvertently at times. I mean, don't get me wrong, we work great together but at times…well, let's just say I still have the scar from that night.

I walked into the room I would be calling home, hopefully not for very far into the foreseeable future, and had only one thing to say to its occupant.

"Get off the bed Kudo," I was really in no mood, happy as I had been, to be sleeping on the floor.

"Kiss my ass Mastermind," came the sleepy reply from the darkness.

"Right," I said, my hands on my hips, "for starters no more of this "Mastermind", "Oracle" shit, alright? I do have a name and it does sound less like a late night game show."

"Not much," he mumbled back at me.

"Would you like a migraine for the rest of the time we're acquaintances?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Silence was my answer.

There was a gap in the curtains letting in a little pre-dawn light which fell handily on the bed. I could make out the line of Kudo's body, laying on his side with his head in the pillow so that only his hair was visible. He looked very comfortable, despite his head wound which had been hastily patched up by Bombay, and I really just wanted to be as comfortable as he was. That wasn't going to happen on the floor though, so there was only one solution.

"I mean it Kudo, off the bed now," I said, pointing to the floor with emphasis.

"Yeah right, like that's going to work," I could hear the smirk in his voice, and I was in no mood…

-_Oh god, I almost thought "in no mood to deal with you tonight Kudo"!_ _Crawford is so rubbing off on me…-_

I snorted a laugh at the thought of myself turning into Brad Crawford, my hair all short, those big glasses dominating my head and that constantly ass-stick expression on my face. Well, I had to laugh, you would too believe me. Kudo just groaned however and rolled onto his side, obviously disturbed by the fact that I was laughing at all. I just shrugged, suddenly too tired and in too good a mood to care about the fact that Balinese was one of my worst enemies, tugging off my green overcoat and dropping it onto a nearby chair. I walked over to the curtains and pulled them, more out of habit than actual need. I heard Kudo rustle again on the bed, now enshrouded in darkness and guessed that he was looking at me.

"You have some sort of problem?" I asked.

"Yeah," he muttered, "you're still here."

"Well, better get used to it cause I'm not going anywhere," I said stretching, pulling my arms up far over my head, "and I don't really care what you think."

"Well, at least some things haven't changed, "I heard him sigh as he rustled back down into a more comfortable position.

He didn't even react when I sat down on the side of the bed and started unlacing my boots; well, he didn't react much anyway, he could very well have been giving me a glare of death and I wouldn't have known. I just continued to get comfortable, pulling off my socks and unbuttoning my shirt a little before lying down on the bed next to Kudo. He muttered something into his pillow before shifting even further away from me. I sniggered into the darkness, amused by his discomfort.

_-I know I'm supposed to be a good boy now we've teamed up with Weiss, but…-_ I thought to myself_._

_"No aggravation Schuldich, this is teamwork remember?"_

Brad's words echoed in my mind as I continued to snigger and it wasn't long until they were permanently erased.

I shuffled over, feigning discomfort as I writhed around on the bed for a better position, until I was laying right alongside Kudo once more. I felt him stiffen beside me, heard him faintly wondering if I was asleep or not before moving once more away from my still form. I smiled at this, knowing now that the chase was on. I moved again, rustling and yawning and tossing and turning until I had myself facing Kudo I the darkness. I smirked evilly as I lifted my arm, trying my hardest not to laugh as I draped it sleepily over Kudo's waist. 

Now that got a reaction. 

Suddenly the world became very bright ad I shut my eyes quickly so as to feign sleep. I felt Kudo's eyes on me, his feelings seeping out through his mind in his turmoil; anger mixed with slight confusion mixed with tiredness mixed with really not caring as much as he should. 

-_Hmmm, that's interesting, is he..?_ –I started to think but was cut off mid contemplation as the light was quickly shut off.

I couldn't believe this, was he actually…no, he wouldn't let me sleep on him like this…right? I would never let anyone sleep on me like this if I knew they might try and kill me in the middle of the night. 

-_That head injury must really have fucked with his mind if he's doing weird things like this_, - was all I could think, -_unless, of course he has some sort of evil plan up his sleeve…-_

Yet no, there was nothing there when I checked quickly and stealthily through his mind. Very odd, very odd indeed. Yet, just as I was pondering the many implications this small deed prompted, Kudo shuffled again and my arm flopped to the mattress dejectedly. 

-_Damn_, - I thought, -_just as things were getting interesting_.-

Well I had to move then didn't I, it was a direct challenge! I rolled right over spreading out my legs just for extra annoyance. Oh this was too much fun! I started thinking that I should have tried teaming up with Weiss long ago even if it was just for the fun annoyance factor. I heard Kudo give out a low groan/growl as I started to "snore". I think that might have been the last straw then, either that or he's just run out of bed to move along, because the light came on again. The backs of my eyelids were red with the light and it wasn't really helping my comfort factor. I just groaned, as if waking from sleep and fluttered open my eyes drearily. Oh but I loved this…

"What's your problem Kudo, can't a guy get some sleep around here without having to put up with the fact you're scared of the dark?" I asked with a raise of an eyebrow.

"I am not scared of the dark you bakayaro," he snorted and narrowed his eyes as he spoke, "but I was about to ask you the same question. Quit touching me or I'll have to tie your hands to the bed..."

"Really Kudo," I said in mock disbelief , "I mean we've only just met…"

"…with my wire," he concluded darkly, his eyes glittering in the lamplight.

"Hmm, you're no fun," I shrugged as I settled back down, pulling the covers over my body and preparing for sleep.

"Ditto," I heard him say as the light was once more clicked off, "and don't think for one second that I'm happy about this in any way thinkable."

"Oh don't worry Balinese," I smirked, "who said that I thought you were happy? I know what you're really thinking."

"God dammit, stay out of my mind before I garrotte you!" he growled faintly, on the verge of sleep.

"Yeah, yeah whatever," I shrugged, snuggling down into the covers, "and just for the record, I'm not happy about this either."

"Could have fooled me," the blonde grumped.

"Yes well, it seems I did quite a good job, ne?" I smiled, "But in truth, I would kill you in a second if Crawford wouldn't gut me for it."

"Oh really?" Kudo yawned loudly, "Well that would only be if I didn't strangle you first, smartass."

"Ah, but I don't even have to move to kill you," I explained like I was in first year at high school, stooping to one-up-man-ship to get him to shut up.

"Hai, but not when you're sleeping," he said with a soft snigger.

"One more word," I growled, suddenly very impatient with this stupid game, "and you're dead. Get it?"

There was a silence then, a dangerous one where I could have sworn I felt my mind begin to boil with the anticipation of being able to wreak some real havoc on an enemies psyche. I really would have done something nasty I think, if he had said another word. The good mood I had been in had slowly worn off over the time it took to have our delightful little conversation. Now I was just ready to kill something for ruining it. Then, in the silence, just as I thought he was going to say something, a loud snore reverberated throughout the room. I just groaned, wondering absently if the fact that he was snoring gave me the right to enact my threat. Instead I just groaned and turned over, covering my ears with a pillow and thinking happy thoughts.

-_Kudo with a knife through his gut and a noose round his neck and laser beams coming out of his eyes and his head on fire and his sinus's pulled out so he can't snore any more and_…-

And on these delightful thoughts I fell into a deep dark sleep.

AN: Not sure what this chapter is supposed to do, but I had the idea and had to write it. I just thought to myself, hmmm, there is no way Schu would ever take the floor, but then neither would Yoji. So, this chapter explains it all! Hopefully…anyhoo! Please R&R, feedback welcome! Also thanks to HeatherR and Murasaki-yanagi for reviewing, I'm glad you liked it! Wow, someone actually sympathising with Schwartz! I must be doing a good job of making them seem human, at least I hope so! 

Ro x 


	13. Living the nightmare

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz so there! Yarr!

Key: /denotes POV/

        -_denotes__ thought_-__

_         denotes flashback_

****

**Chapter 13**

****

**Living the nightmare**

****

Ken

I remember that, when I woke from that dream, with the fingers of sleep still clutching at my mind, I was the most relaxed I had been for a long time. I could feel that my aching back and limbs were soothed, my pounding head and my blurry eyes were calmer, everything just seemed to be a lot less painful than it had been before I slept. Yet, annoyingly enough, as always happens when you're trying hard to remember a dream, I couldn't bring back anything to the conscious world. Well, that's a lie, I could remember something but it didn't make any sense.

Dammit.

I let my eyes slide open and shut a few times before I managed to become coherent. There was a light in the corner of my vision that blinked and waved and was annoying me, but I couldn't really even focus on being annoyed. I felt like I'd been run over by a tractor.

Finally I managed to blink the fuzz from my mind, looking around my room which, in the light of day, looked a hell of a lot messier than when it was all hidden in darkness. No, this wasn't because the fight had extended into my room, it's just because my room is always a tip.

-Oh yeah! And proud of it…-

The fight.

The thought hit me like a punch to the stomach.

-Ran…-

I felt like I was going to throw up.

-Don't hate me…-

All the good that the mystery dream had done me suddenly vanished.

-…I'm your friend...-

I groaned into the dusty air and pulled myself up off the bed before my nausea got any worse.

-…you need me…-

The stale sunlight was peeking in through a gap in the curtains and highlighting the little streams of dust that floated in the air.

-…I need you.-

My mind wouldn't stop dredging up painful memories of the previous night.

Suddenly I felt like opening the curtains, getting some sun on my face no matter how stagnant, and waking myself up. Yet I just couldn't bring myself to face the morning, to face another day living the nightmare.

"So you're finally awake."

I nearly died. I have to say that I do tend to over react to things, it's in my nature, but when I turned around to see Brad Crawford sitting in my comfy armchair I nearly died. Why I didn't see him before was beyond me.

"Holy shit! What the fuck are you doing here!?" I asked tactfully.

"Well I was sleeping up until about ten minutes ago," the American said with a lifted eyebrow, "but now I'm awake, I suppose I'm going to find breakfast."

With that he stood up from MY comfy armchair and stretched his arms up towards the low ceiling. He let out a loud crack as he flexed his arms and then sighed happily, not looking at me once as he opened my door and left without bothering to close it again. I just stared after him dumbfounded.

"You could have at least closed the door!" I called after him irrationally, not wanting to let him just get away with being such a prick.

This was too weird. My head hurt.

-When the hell did Crawford get here? – I groaned as I tried to comprehend the situation, - I remember…Schuldich. –

Of course, if Schuldich was here, then the rest of them were bound to be here too. Crawford, Farferello, that little quiet kid Nagi…joy, Schwartz in our living room. I felt like going back to bed and going to sleep for an hundred years. Perhaps everything would be over by then.

_"What the hell are you doing!?" Yoji asked a little more harshly as he regained a little of his scattered wits, and quite reasonably so considering the circumstances._

Yet, never one to be lazy, I couldn't just lie down and go back to sleep, not at nine in the morning. That was what my little bedside clock blinked at me. I found it strange that it was blinking, yet still I didn't dwell on it.

_…Ran wasn't a telekinetic. Well, at least that's what I thought until I found myself flying through the air before becoming pinned up against the opposite wall, spread-eagled, my head spinning and the air knocked in full from my lungs._

Now that I was awake I knew there was no reason not to get up and walk about for a while. At least I would be able to figure out what was going on, get someone to fill me in on what had happened after I blacked out, hell maybe even get some coffee if I was lucky. That final thought was good motivation and I only took as long as my aching body would permit to get dressed. I didn't want to think about why my shirt and jacket had been removed along with my trousers…the conclusions were just too disturbing, so I ignored them and just carried on dressing. Best not to linger to long I suppose.

_"Ran…please…" was all I could gasp out before my vision dimmed as dark spots began to expand in front of my eyes._

_I knew then I was going to die. I just knew it. This was insane. I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't! Not like this! Not like this…not him…couldn't breathe…_

The house was strangely quiet as I stepped out into the corridor, and not very strangely full of holes. There was a large Ken shaped dent in the wall opposite Omi's room which made me shiver. I could still feel my head cracking off the hard plaster, that force pushing at me, Ran's cold eyes…no, can't think about that. I turned my thoughts from the previous night. Yet I couldn't stop the flashes of memory.

-Yoji, - I thought in desperation, -he was hurt, and god I forgot!-

I looked to his door, closed against the morning as usual. I hoped that he was okay, yet he was so thick skulled that I'm sure he was. The thought made me smile with grim desperation.

_So all I could do was watch in vain as Ran slipped from Yoji's infallible looking grasp and strike out hard against his chin. The blonde flew back, slamming into the wall before crumpling in an unconscious heap on the floor. _

Yet, for some reason I was sure that he was unharmed, I felt like I would have know if he was seriously hurt. Strange I know, but I still felt it deep down in my gut.

-Still, best to check…- I thought grimly, knowing how much Yoji hated to be woken up in the morning; still, this wasn't any normal morning, I hadn't seen one of those for a while now.

I didn't bother to knock, I didn't see any need. I knew well fine that Yoji didn't have any girls round and that never really stopped me just walking into his room anyway; well unless there were suspicious noises coming from the room, then I tended to just side step the door widely.

It opened easily, odd considering Yoji's door had always stuck, but I guess the fight had taken its toll on this old building.

The room was dark, the curtains, like my own, closed against the sunshine. The door also, thankfully, no longer squeaked when it opened. I was glad for that as it really wouldn't have gone with my headache. I just walked across the room, keeping to the triangle of light streaking from the open door, careful not to trip over the pair of long black boots on the floor. I reached the curtains and took hold of the warm cloth, the sunshine heating them up from the outside, and was about to pull them wide open and flood the room when something occurred to me.

-Long black…boots? Does Yoji own knee highs? - I blinked, wondering as to the change in my friends fashion sense that I hadn't even noticed, ignorantly glad that at least this momentary distraction stopped my disturbing flashbacks, -hmm…-

I just shrugged, thinking that there were stranger things to worry about other than Yoji's clothes. I pulled the curtains open with satisfaction, happy to feel the sun shinning on me and the blue sky rolling before my eyes. I turned as I heard a groan from the bed, opening my mouth to make some sort of really annoying remark only a morning person can make. Then I saw a long pale hand that definitely wasn't Yoji's, an un-tattooed arm that wasn't his either and then a mess of red hair that also wasn't his. Yet, even more jaw dropping than this was the fact that mixed in with all these body parts that weren't Yoji's, were body parts that did belong to Yoji.

Yoji was sleeping with his arm around Schuldich.

They were sleeping in the same bed.

Yoji was drooling onto his pillow.

These were the scrambled thoughts that ran through my head right before I blew my top.

"Oh my…GOD! What the hell do you think you're doing Kudo Yoji get your ass out of that bed right now!"

Now, compared to my jumping three feet into the air in fright when I was surprised by Crawford in my room earlier, Yoji just slowly blinked open his eyes and moaned. Well, I never did call him a morning person. However, after he smiled at me, after he lifted his head to wipe the embarrassing drool from the corner of his mouth, then he noticed where exactly he was sleeping. Or, to be more precise, _who_ he was sleeping _on_.

"AAahHHahh!" was roughly what he said while he disentangled himself from the still sleeping redhead.

The Schwartz, who had not been awoken by my outburst, was awoken by Yoji's. He blinked open his forest green eyes slowly, yawning widely before sitting up and shaking out his hair roughly.

Yoji just sat up against the wall, as far away from Schuldich as he could get and rubbed his arms. He looked more than a little distressed to say the least, and rightly so I think. Schuldich just rubbed his eyes and breathed in deeply, letting it out through his nose. He turned to look at Yoji then, not really acknowledging my angry presence at all.

"You snore Kudo," was all he said.

Yoji just glared at him.

"Will you get out of here!?" I bellowed at him, making the redhead just roll his eyes and smirk.

"No need to get jealous now," he smirked as he swung gracefully off the bed and stood up to stretch his arms up over his head towards the ceiling.

He looked down to my feet then, arching an eyebrow at what he saw. I just continued to glare daggers at him and Yoji, only the blonde making any sort of reaction however. Then suddenly he spoke.

"You're on my boots," he said simply, letting his hands fall down, clasped, behind his head.

"Uh," I said a little thrown by the statement, stepping to the right quickly as Schuldich continued to stare down at my feet.

As soon as I stepped off of the long black boots the redhead bent down, without bending his knees and picked them off the floor, his long red hair falling like a curtain over his face. Then, without another word, he stood up and walked to the door, grabbing his coat on his way. Then he was gone. I turned to Yoji.

"What the hell was that all about!?" I shouted, hands on my hips like I was his mother or something.

"Oh man, don't shout, please," the blonde with the bandage moaned at me.

"I'll shout all the hell I want," I growled, "what the hell did you think you were doing?"

"Ah, I have a head injury leave me alone," he whined unbearably, "he wouldn't leave me alone either, you're all ganging up on me!"

"Yeah well, I'm not the one sleeping with the enemy!"

"Yeah, well me neither!"

"Oh yeah, that's not what it looked like to me!"

"I didn't have much say in the matter, and stop shouting!"

"Call yourself an assassin, you could have kicked him out, and I'll shout if I want to!"

"Ahem, am I interrupting something?"

That stopped us both dead in our tracks, both of us simultaneously turning to look at the open door. Omi stood there, arms crossed, face still holding the remnants of sleep and hair mussed. We both closed our mouths and glared at each other.

"No," Yoji said stiffly, holding his bandage tenderly, "right Kenken?"

"Huh, don't call me that you traitor!"

"I'm not a traitor I just tend to roll about in my sleep!"

"Nice excuse Mr. Libido!"

"Yeah, well I like to think so, Mr. Virgin!"

"I am not a virgin!!"

I don't know when Omi left, but when I turned to the door to ask him for back up the doorway was empty. I guess, as I listened to Yoji list his long line of sexual conquests so as to reaffirm his masculinity, that I couldn't blame him making a quick exit. I just stopped arguing like I was in primary school and held up my hands to stop Yoji.

"All right! Shut up already, I don't want to know about your rampant sex drive, hell," I snorted, "just get down stairs."

With that I followed Omi's example and left the room. For some reason that stupid dream, the one that had been so comforting, kept haunting me like a bad meal.

-Stupid orchids, - I grumbled as I thumped down the stairs.                           

Crawford and Schuldich were already downstairs, the German sitting at the kitchen table, mugs of coffee in hand, and Omi was standing at the counter with glass of orange juice. It looked so odd, with Schwartz just making themselves comfy like they belonged here or something. The soft light filtered in over the quiet scene, slighting off the back of Crawford's immaculate white suit as he stood with his back resting against the counter. I couldn't help but be a little volatile.

"What the hell are they doing here?" I growled at Omi who, in return, only sighed and sipped his juice.

He looked a little defeated and, well, unfortunately at that moment I wasn't in the mood to care. I had woken up twice now with Schwartz members looming over me and I wasn't exactly happy about it.

"I mean it Omi, answer me!" I shouted, losing my very short temper.

"Give the kid a break," Schuldich answered, surprising me, "he's been up all night. And as to what we are doing here, well, last night we were saving your worthless hides."

"Worthless hid…why you..!" I strode up to his chair with murder in my eyes.

Yet as soon as I reached his chair, he was out of it and standing before me, using his extra height as a severe advantage. The air itself was tense between us, almost tangible, as if it were pushing us apart. I wondered absently if it really was and Prodigy was somewhere in the background trying to save his friend from getting his ass kicked.

"Hmm, I think it might be more like the other way around Hidaka," the German smirked, lowering back into his chair.

However, even that did not deter me; I still glared at him and clenched my fists at my sides menacingly.

"Obviously our hides are not so worthless, however," Omi said softly from the other side of the room, "or you wouldn't have bothered saving us at all. Tell me Crawford, exactly why did you help us?"

I calmed myself down, actually more interested in the Schwartz leaders reply than fighting for once, putting my own anger and confusion on hold for the time being. There was a pause while Crawford blew gently on his coffee, sending ripples across the dark liquid. It was then, as I stared at him, that I realised he wasn't wearing his glasses, and it was strange how completely different he looked without them…less calculating perhaps. So many things were strange today that it was getting a bit out of hand.

"To help ourselves of course," he said finally, sipping his hot coffee lightly and savouring the taste, "there was no way you would have survived that fight last night, and there was no way that we would have survived my premonition."

"Premonition?" I asked, confused to hell but just trying my best to keep up, "Wait, wait, what do you mean "no way you would have survived", what are you all talking about!?"

"Perhaps if you calmed down I could explain that to you," Crawford offered with a tip of his head.

"Perhaps," I mocked, "you could just tell me and quit the bullshit."

"Hmm, I knew you would be difficult Siberian, but this is just ludicrous," he laughed softly, "if we're going to be a team we have to play nicely."

"T-team?" I stammered, almost as if I were choking on the word.

"Yeah," the German sneered as he fished around in his coat, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, "wonderful isn't it?"

"Schuldich," Crawford said in a warning tone making the redhead snort, but finally comply, smiling nastily at his leader before sitting quietly once more, "I'm sure, even with our differences, we can work together. I think that we both have too much on our plates right now and things might be getting out of hand."

"Might be," I growled, "talk about an understatement. First Aya goes mad and now you guys turn up and want to play house? I think that out of hand is putting it mildly."

"Perhaps," he said, smiling softly into his coffee.

"Perhaps, what's that supposed to mean!?" I raged once more, "Don't you get it? We're enemies! We always have been, and now you expect us to just turn around and say, "yes of course we'd like to team up with your pack of wanton psychopaths, thank you very much"?

"I wouldn't say I was wanton…" Schuldich wandered absently, stroking his chin in thought.

"Do you know nothing!?" I yelled.

"Well, I do know one thing for sure," Crawford said with annoying calm, "if we don't co-operate we will all be destroyed."

I opened my mouth to retort, but nothing came out. There wasn't a hell of a lot you could say to that I guess, and as I thought more and more about it, the more and more it began to calm me down. Not in a good way mind you, more in a fear kind of way. I felt a little numb all of a sudden, just opting for dropping down into a nearby kitchen chair and staring hard at the floor. There was silence once more.

"So, what part do we have to play?" Omi asked just as calmly as Crawford.

"For that to be answered, we must wait and see," he said cryptically.

"You mean you don't know?" I said with a frown.

"I liked you better when you were quiet," Crawford glared at me coldly, his piercing gaze averting my own back to the ground.

I just kept staring down, as Omi and Crawford talked as reservedly as business partners, down at the stained floor tiles. There was a small crack in one of them and, as I looked closer, I noticed there was a woodlouse stuck in it. The little insect's leg was caught in the break and it was struggling futilely to get free, its feelers waving like mad. Its small shell undulated with the pressure, pulling and straining, and I found that I couldn't take my eyes off of it, and that I tried but they wouldn't move, and that it was freaking me out how this little bug was struggling on our floor. It was going to pull off its own leg if it kept it up, yet it just kept on thrashing, pulling, kicking out, never once considering giving up...

"What's going on?" I heard Yoji say from the doorway, just as the little things leg ripped from its body and I finally managed to break my momentary madness.

"Not much," I muttered, looking up at him irately, blinking the look of revulsion from my eyes.

He was dressed in his usual, black tank top and dark jeans and his hair tied up yet still in his face. His dark green sunglasses were missing, probably still lying broken in the bombsite that was now Omi's bedroom. I have to admit that his outfit didn't look complete without them, and it was just another strange thing to add to my list of many. His exposed body was also boasting a few new bruises, stark and purple against his tanned skin. I shivered as I remembered the way he fell to the ground under Ran's cruel hands.

"Hmm, you're not going to be pissy at me all day are you?" he asked with a raise of one elegant eyebrow.

"Shut up," I grumbled, adding to Crawford bitterly "so where's the rest of the happy family?"

"I was on Bombay's computer," a voice said from behind my chair, making me jump five feet into the air for the second time that morning.

I turned to look to the source of the voice, the large deep blue eyes of the little Schwartz kid greeting me…or not really greeting me but, well, just sort of…looking forwards. I know that's a crap description but I can't think of any other way to describe his expression as it was utterly…expressionless. His eyes just seemed to be looking but not seeing, staring forward as he stood in the doorway and looked like he wasn't even feeling anything at being forced to uproot from his safe house and get into cahoots with the enemy. I felt like this kid would need his very own list if strangeness in my book to go along with all the other weird shit that was happening.  Then, as I glared angrily at him, Nagi walked past me and into the room to stand silently beside Crawford. I just calmed my racing heart, glaring at the little kid for all I was worth. I hated this already.

"You let him on your computer?" I asked Omi incredulously.

"Like I had a choice," Omi muttered in reply to my glare.

"Oh yeah," I spat, "team work means a lot to you people doesn't it, I can tell."

"How uncooperative of you Hidaka," Schuldich muttered, his emerald eyes settling on my like a force all of their own.

"I'm not the one forcing for information."  
"Well, if we're going to be a team then we shouldn't have had to force for it in the first place then should we?" Schuldich said tersely, his narrow eyed gaze pinning me to my chair yet not deterring me.

"Yeah like we're going to trust you!" I shot back, not really caring if I sounded like a spoilt child as long as I wiped that look off of his face.

"Be quiet!" Omi and Crawford said simultaneously.

That shut us up. We both blinked at the coincidence, turning to look at our respective leaders. They themselves were however conveniently ignoring the fact that they had just jinxed each other, sipping their drinks in calm silence, obviously satisfied that their outburst (no matter how freaky) had had the desired effect. Nagi and Yoji were also looking a little taken aback, that's if you could call the little kids slightly less blank stare "taken aback".

"So," Omi said after tipping his drink back to catch the last of the dregs, "if we're going to figure all of this out I think we should begin on a plan."

"Agreed," Crawford nodded.

"But what is the plan?" Yoji asked, as if he really was as nonchalant about the whole affair as he sounded.

"What does it matter," I spat at them all.

"Ken," Yoji said with a hard yet sympathetic look, adding more just for my ears "don't you care."

"Sometimes I wonder," I muttered back, feeling my head ache a little bit as my mouth seemed to just say stuff that I wasn't really thinking about myself, "everything is just a process leading to a result."

I sat there for a moment after saying it, just thinking about the connotations of it as if someone else had told me the phrase. Then I blinked. Had I just said that? That was so…not me! I looked up a Yoji and noted the strange look of confusion adorning his face. The others just seemed to brush it off, even Omi after he'd given me a confused look of his own, and I just looked back down at the floor. I could still feel Yoji's eyes on me but I didn't look back up. I just blinked again, confused myself as to the out of character comment. It almost sounded, I thought to myself brokenly, like…

"That was like something Ran would say," Yoji whispered to me as he sidled over ad sat down in the free chair to my right.

I just nodded, confused but not really thinking too hard on the subject. I felt a little numb at the reminder anyway, feeling again that leaden feeling in my heart as I remembered the night before. I felt the nausea rise in my gut again and just swallowed convulsively against the sick in my throat.

"Yeah," I said softly.

I saw Yoji nod out of the corner of my eye, his hand reaching out to pat my knee reassuringly. I frowned at the gesture yet, when I looked up at him questioningly I stopped and just nodded back to him. His eyes told me everything I needed to know. That Yoji knew what I was feeling, that he was feeling it too, that he would be there for me, that he would be there for all of Weiss, that we would get Ran back, that we would survive this…

-That's why we've always needed you Yoji, - I thought with a small smile, - you're always so sure. We need that, right now we really need that.-

"You know," I said softly as the others continued to talk, "I had this dream last night…"

Yet I wasn't allowed to finish. Just then Omi announced that a plan had been formed, or at least half a plan anyway.

"I'm going to do research," he said softly, the temperament of his tone not betraying his real anxiety however.

"Nagi will accompany you," Crawford informed him, his tone establishing the fact that there was going to be no argument about this fact.

Omi just sighed deeply and nodded, walking carefully out of the room with Nagi trailing behind him. Nevertheless, even though it seemed to have all been decided behind my back, that didn't mean I had to be happy about it. As I sat there, in our now unfamiliar home, like I was sitting in someone else's house watching their family play out my life, I felt my stomach twist. I just sat still however, letting Omi walk out of the room with the Schwartz while Yoji and I were left with Crawford and his stupid white suit.

Yet all the while, as I raged over Schwartz, as I ranted over Yoji, as I freaked out at the bug on the floor there was one thing that wouldn't stop running through my mind and which was starting to really annoy me. In my dream, why, in that whole field of flowers, those deep blue flowers, had there been one deep violet orchid?

Maybe I would never know…

AN: Argh! Stupid Ken, figure it out already! Hee hee, I'm shouting at my own characters haha, I must really be going mad. But yeah, well what do you think? I hope it's not too long for you, and I hope it makes sense. I always worry that I'm just babbling random strings of crap that don't flow, but I'm hopeful about this story so I think it will do okay! As ever please R&R and thanks again for all your great reviews. You guy are great and they really help me! Sorry this chapter took so long by the way, I don't think the next one will be so late!

Ps: And don't worry about Omi and Yoji being all complacent about the idea of working with Schwartz, I know it seems weird, and it did seem odd when I read over the chapter, but I'll deal with all that later, honest!

Pps: Hmm, I'm not quite sure if this is how you do this, cause I've never had a beta reader before (but I think I need one, and would like one too!) but I'm advertising for a Beta Reader if anyone wouldn't mind. I don't know if I'm being weird in advertising, but none of my friends write at all so I have no one to point out my mistakes and suggest stuff except you readers, so I'm advertising, hee hee! And even if you don't want to please feel free to send your ideas for this story to me if you want, I'm always happy to oblige and incorporate. Due acknowledgement and praise will be given, I am not a nasty plagiariser don't worry! Okay, going to stop rambling now!

Ro x


	14. Trojan horse

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss, and I don't own Schwartz and I don't make ay money!!

****

**Chapter 14**

****

**Trojan horse**

Pale, pale light was drifting in through my eyelids, waking me. Yet…it almost felt, as I lay there, like it was shining directly into my eyes even though I knew I had them closed…yet I didn't know. I felt like I didn't have control over my eyes, like I didn't have eyes at all! Yet I cold still see. Wait…laying there? Was I actually lying down? I couldn't feel…

I was…I remember…

The breeze was gentle as the memory washed over me, taking me with it, wiping away the terrible thoughts that had teetered on the edge of my consciousness. I blinked again, realising that now I had eyes, eyes that I could open and close. So I played with this long taken for granted power, now seemingly godlike, just opening and closing my eyes and marvelling as I watched the nothingness before them.

But…I could see the red…the darkness…

Again the memory was snatched from my very essence, the entire thought being swept away as I tried my best to hold onto it. I wanted to know where I was, wanted to know what I was doing here, how I got here, where Ken…

Ken?

Ken.

Oh Ken…

I sat up suddenly…and I nearly died at the shock I received as I looked around me. An entire sea of blue gentians, just like the ones we used to sell at the Koneko no sumo ie, waved and swam around me. The sea green grass danced with the flowers, intertwining and mingling with them as they poked their way through to the sunshine. The sunshine? Ah, the sun was shining…and I was sitting on a hill. There were fluffy white clouds in the sky above me, and I was sitting on a hill…or it seemed so anyway. Yet…

How did I get here...I remember a pitch black…

Then it was gone, replaced by the thought that the breeze was really very calming and pleasant, the sky shifting imperceptibly, the blue turning a shade lighter and more harmonious. I sighed as the breeze ruffled my hair, sifting through my clothes as I sat serene, gazing out over the newly formed landscape before me. I looked down absently, noting that I was wearing a light cotton shirt and a pair of black trousers, like I had used to wear some days in the shop when it was especially hot. My pale arms stuck out from the ends of the shirt, a stark contrast t that electric blue…

I was sure, as I glanced at the distant sparkling peaks and the rivers of green grass that flowed over the steel grey rock, that I recognised this place. I had…seen it before, yet I had never been here. It was a book, I was sure I had seen pictures of this place in a book…

I stared up at the sky, laying back down as the clouds willed me to lie back with their lazy attitude. I watched absently as a small bird danced its way across my vision, shrilling its joy at the wonderful sunshine. I sighed happily, breathing in the heavy, musky scent of gentians and pollen. A bee buzzed past my ear.

"What's it all for?"

I was on my feet in a second, the voice seeming to come from all around me, so sudden and indirect. I stared wildly around, the large dent in the flowers where I had lay slowly bouncing back up towards the sunshine and the breeze. Yet, there was no one there. Just more rolling hills and sharp mountain peaks. There was no source for the voice, no person in sight, no…

…no earthly reason why I should be here in this storybook landscape in complete peace and serenity.

"He's…gone."

Again I couldn't help but start in fright as the voice sounded again, my mind having lolled me back into a false sense of security in those few moments, as the sunlight danced over my hands, warming my head. It was so calm here, yet there was something…wrong. I couldn't place it, but I shouldn't be here. It was strange, but, when that voice spoke…I could almost feel it in my own flesh. It sent tiny quivers up my spine and goose bumps over my skin.  Could have sworn I knew that voice…just like I knew this place…had I been here?

"Nothing to fight for, no reason…he wanted to…he tried to…"

Who was it, I knew I knew it! If I just thought hard enough…

"…wanted to kill me."

Ken?

"Why?"

Ken is that you?

"I just…I don't know anymore…"

Ken, where are you!?

"I just wish that, everything could be back the way it used to be."

Ken, where are you, can you here me!? Ken?

"Isn't that what dreams are for?"

Ken, why don't you answer me!? I mean it, I am not kidding around!

"To live out our fantasies?"

Are you listening to me!?

"And all I get is a washed out sky and a field of old flowers."

And me! What about me?

"Why aren't you here…"

…I am.

"I just…just…I want…"

I…what's going on here? Where am I? Where are you Ken? Why amn't I..?

"…to be with you."

The shift was so sudden that I didn't even have time to blink before the pressure in the air suddenly intensified tenfold. I cried out as I felt the air itself pressing into my very skin, the feeling of being pushed inside of yourself with nowhere else to go. I just sighed long and breathlessly, having the power to do nothing else, as the whole peaceful scene, confusing as it was, just swallowed itself up along with me.

But that last glimpse.

I saw someone standing on the horizon, arms hugging their small frame…nothing but a child.

Then there was nothing but fire, fire engulfing me, surrounding me, tearing at my flesh, heat permeating my very being, right into my soul…

"Kase!"

That one impassioned cry. I tried to open my eyes but the burning inferno of heat assuaging my senses overwhelmed me.

Then it was all black, still and charred, nothing but smoking ruins as far as the eyes could see…

"…Kase…"

Someone was crying.

"…why, why did you..?"

It was just like that disembodied voice…I knew, was that Ken again?

"Just like him, everyone betrays me in the end."

But…

"Am I so gullible?"

…I didn't…

"No one, I can trust no one!"

…I tried to stop it…

"I'm not worth caring about!"

…no, please…

"He just…hates me…"

…who? Where? What is happening?

"I wish…I wish it was all over…"

…What over? What are you talking about? Why can't you hear me?

"But even then it would make no difference…"

…Don't you want to help me?

"I can't help him."

…I'm lost.

"He's lost."

Darkness.

"Darkness."

Alone.

"Alone."

Please…

"Please…"

I need you…

"I need you…"

Ken…

"Ran…"

AN: Well, even Ran hasn't really figured it out yet, he with his penchant for being a stubborn ass and all heh heh! I don't really like this chapter personally, so don't be surprised if I go back and rewrite it, but as ever please R&R, feedback very welcome and please, make any suggestions you like to make it less crap, heh heh!


	15. Giji

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss, and I don't own Schwartz and I don't make any money!!

**Chapter 15**

**Giji******- [1]

"I found it, I found it!"

God that tone was really getting on my nerves.

"I told you _I_ would find a lead," he said smugly, "gees Brad, whoever would have thought that you were so crap on a computer?"

"Shut up Schuldich," I growled as fiercely as my tired mind would permit, "and don't call me Brad, or I'll have to shoot you."

The threat sounded more half hearted than it really was, causing the German seated in front of me to do nothing but smirk. His green eyes sparkled with mischief and satisfaction as I sighed and took off my glasses to rub the bridge of my nose. As I closed my eyes I could see that smirk emblazoned onto the back of my eyelids like a brand. We had only been here with Weiss for one day in total and Schuldich of all people had found a lead. The room from which we were conducting our investigation was only half lit by an unreliably sputtering nightlight, yet Weiss' computer was more than sufficient to light the faces of my companions. Schuldich looked smug and Nagi looked well…

"Well, actually I never even knew you knew how to use a computer Schu," Nagi said softly, standing with a look of surprise on his face unworthy of his age, "never mind find us a lead."

"Oh you know me, just glad to please," the annoying telepath grinned with approval, "and you really thought that I didn't know how to use a computer? Ha, I've been in your head enough to know what to do kid; place is like a technical dictionary."

Nagi just flashed a shy smile before shoving the German in the shoulder psychokinetically. I however wasn't in such a joking mood. I had been beaten down by a subordinate. Oh joy. Something told me I wasn't going to hear the end of this for a long time, especially considering said subordinate was Schuldich.

We had been searching, ever since that morning after the impromptu meeting with the now coherent remains of Weiss, for a lead to help us ascertain a better understanding of, well, _our_ standing. We were supposed to be working together with our new found friends, yet as Schuldich suspected they weren't in such a cooperative mood as would have been helpful. We had ended up in separate rooms on separate computers using separate links and separating our entire man power. Useless really, but then, as hell bent as I was on my own teams preservation, I wasn't exactly thrilled about working with Weiss either.

"Well fearless leader?" Schuldich asked as he slumped back in his chair, flame coloured hair dangling and flopping over his hands as he clasped them behind his head, "What now?"

"Why even ask me? You never listen anyway," I asked with a resigned sigh, not in the mood to even argue.

"Oh Crawford, right through the heart!" Schuldich feigned a chest wound, swaying dramatically, "And hey, that's a lie, I do know how to follow orders and you know it."

"Yes," I nodded, "when it suits you."

"Heh, and when exactly does mayhem and dancing not suit me?" he asked with a raise of one fine eyebrow.

Yes, that was right, Schuldich's new found lead had been a club owner. I had forgotten about that. Well, so much for supervising him and making sure he didn't get into _too_ much trouble; I hated nightclubs more than anything on earth. However, even when I went with him to keep the situation calm, Schuldich always seemed to be able to say something to get under someone's skin and it would end with a shoot out or a punch up. He has a penchant for getting right on peoples nerves, and for getting himself into danger. Sometimes, however, I wonder if he does it on purpose, or if it's just in his nature to be annoying. It's just one of those mysteries.

"Well, really Crawford you're not on the ball tonight are you? Well, this should be interesting nonetheless; I never have seen you dance before…"

"I'm not going with you," I stated plainly, "take Nagi."

Nagi just frowned sceptically, looking a little amused at my sudden dislike for our mission. He smiled a little while frowning, an odd expression on such a young face.

"Nagi! No way, he'll never get into this club, he's only fifteen!" Schuldich complained, his face set into an almost puppy-dog expression.

"Well then you'll just have to "persuade" the bouncer's won't you," I told him as I stood from leaning on the back of his chair and straightened out my suit jacket.

"You've done it before," Nagi said with a shrug.

"Oh, right, and what are you going to wear?" Schuldich smirked, "I don't think this is the type of club where they welcome school uniforms."

"Well, unfortunately that's what their going to get isn't it," Nagi said with a slight growl, crossing his arms defiantly over his chest.

"Oh come on Crawford don't be a stick in the mud! I know that you don't want to go because you'll feel awkward," he said with a sly smile, "I mean, is that really any way for a leader to behave? Risking the safety of the mission for personal reasons?"

"Schuldich, what have I told you about questioning my authority?"

"Hmm, let me think," he said with mock sincerity, "never to do it?"

"Correct."

"Was that an order?"

"Yes."

"But, if I recall correctly, you said that I only follow orders when it suits me," he said cocking his head to side as he stood and stretched, "and that one definitely does not."

"Schuldich?"

"Huh?" he asked as he picked up his jacket from its haphazard place on the floor.

"Shut up."

Nagi sighed but let a small laugh escape at Schuldich's annoyed expression. It was always a good way to end an annoying conversation with, well anyone, but it always worked best on Schuldich. It seemed to be some sort of warning phrase that we had unanimously worked out that told him when I was getting really fed up with his wittering. He always seemed to just stop after it was uttered, falling into a silent smirk. Sometimes I wandered which was better…

The main corridor was cold and uninviting, still severely devastated after the fight and now letting in the cold night air. It seemed almost as if we were walking in some old carcass, the carpet some ancient tongue of a worn out beast, the darkened rooms gaping maws of missing teeth. The old house wreaked of destruction now, a strange smell that ever only seemed to linger around decomposing corpses and places where evil had soiled the clean air. This was now one such place. Hopefully we wouldn't have to stay here much longer…

"So, are we going to go now or what?" Schuldich asked as we all walked along the corridor, looking his coat disapprovingly up and down and smacking at the dirty patches with a sigh.

"_We_ are going nowhere," I told him resolutely, "you and Nagi are to investigate this lead that you have found and then we can work towards locating Abyssinian. That is our primary objective, and then we'll work from there."

"Actually, I think you'll find that's _our_ primary objective," said a voice from the darkness of a room we were passing.

"Yeah," another sounded, stopping us completely in our tracks to peer into the gloom from the light of the hall, "get your own."

I recognised Balinese and Siberian's voices before they emerged from the dark room to look at us with distaste. They both looked tired and a little ill at ease, no matter how they tried to disguise it behind a mask of bravado. I just stared back impassively, a slight smirk forming on my face as I watched them grow uneasy in our presence.

"Well damn," Schuldich feigned disappointment, snapping his fingers and sighing, "ain't that a coincidence?"

Siberian's jaw tightened at the sarcastic comment, his eyes flaming as he fought to restrain himself. Balinese snorted derisively but made no move; obviously a man who new something I didn't. I never did like that in a person…Before Schuldich could receive any sort of reply from Weiss however, Bombay emerged from the darkness like a silent shadow, a slim briefcase under his arm.

"What have you found?" he asked, not pausing to beat about the bush.

"A lead," I said calmly after a slight pause, noting that it wasn't a briefcase at all but a laptop.

"And you were planning on telling us this when..?" Balinese asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

"At the sufficient time," I replied adequately unsatisfactorily.

"Well I'm glad that we were handily lurking in this nearby doorway then," Balinese said with a lopsided yet surprisingly feral grin, "or we never would have eavesdropped on the whole plan. Nice work Kenken."

"So what is this lead you have found?" Bombay interrupted, his face showing his anger yet still seeming calm.

"Someone who has been hiding some considerably large, expensive equipment in his storage facility over the past week or so," I replied just as calmly as Bombay, seeing no point in concealing the information now.

"And that's a crime?" Balinese asked.

"Well it is when a rather special Esset organisation bought said delicate equipment," I said with a cock of my head, noting that Schuldich leaned back against the wall with a sigh when he noticed that we might be here for a while. Nagi stood close by his side.

"Esset?" Siberian asked warily, "What do they have to do with this?"

"Yes, Esset, and they have everything to do with it," I said with a sigh, folding my arms and suppressing a yawn, "it's not exactly what you would call ordinary goods."

"Do the other two speak," Balinese said suddenly with an abstractive frown, "or are they just for show?

"Well that's a new one," Schuldich growled while smirking to hide his malice, Nagi just glaring from his perch at the German's side "encouraging me to speak Kudo. Who ever would have thought it..?"

"Hey, by the way, where's the psycho?" the tall blonde asked with a smirk.

"You mean Farferello I think," Schuldich growled back, "and he's asleep. A slight, uh, hiccup in his medication dosage."

"What kind of equipment?" Bombay interrupted again with a slight frown, ignoring the entourage between our team members as if it wasn't happening.

"Gees, inquisitive much? The lot of you are just questions, questions, questions," Schuldich sighed as he shifted restlessly against the wall, his shirt snagging on the broken scars threading through the plasterwork, "Have you found out anything that we should know about?"

"Not especially," Bombay replied, nonchalantly.

"But wait, wait. Where exactly is finding someone who's hiding stuff for Esset going to get us when we're looking for Ran?" Ken asked with annoyance, his face deepening into a frown.

"Think about it," Schuldich said as he stared at him and tapped his own head in a mockery of thought, "if we find someone with ties to Esset who is holding important gear then they most likely will have a pick up date for the equipment ne? If we find that out, we can meet up with these people who need this special equipment and then find out what's going on."

"Isn't that a little longwinded?" Ken asked sceptically, "I mean, can't we just look for Ran first and figure out everything else later?"

"No," Schuldich said matter-of-factly, "and anyway, if we were going to look for him with no leads as to his position, where exactly would you have us start?"

There was a silence then, one that I was quite glad for. Schuldich, however seemingly calm and flippant, was getting quite annoyed. I could sense it in the feelings that were straining at the edge of his mental shields, that feeling that foretold that any minute now he was just going to knock them all out so as to end this fruitless discussion.

"Well then, if that's the plan, Yoji is going with you," Bombay said unceremoniously from the background, walking forward into the light of the hall to look at me with his big blue eyes.

"Hey, he's not even going so you're making the deals with me here," Schuldich said in annoyance, his brow furrowed as he watched Balinese try to protest out of the corner of his eye, "and I am saying no to this venture. I take one of my own or I go solo."

"You are not going alone," I said quickly nullifying one of his options.

"Well, thanks for the concern Crawford, but I didn't see you jumping at the chance to protect me," he scowled, suddenly very out of character in his moodiness.

"One of Weiss goes," Bombay told him straight, "or no one goes at all."

There was a deadly silence then, one that I wasn't quite as glad for. I just shook my head internally, pushing my glasses up my nose as I stared at no one in particular. Balinese had taken a good time to be discreet and had not voiced his own protests yet, Bombay was looking determined and dangerous, Siberian was looking a little confused and tired but ready to back his team mate, Schuldich was looking, well, like he was going to eat someone, Nagi was looking his usual impassive self with a slight twist of annoyance and I…well, I wasn't sure what I looked like but I was sure it was quite the picture of platitude. Things were quite normal all round. I sighed as I decided that I was going to have to change the normal for something a little more up to date and "cooperative" if we were going to take this truce any further.

"Schuldich," I said with an internal sigh as I thought about what I was about to do, placing one hand carefully on his shoulder, his eyes darting to it suspiciously, "take Balinese with you."

"What?" he said incredulously, his eyes narrowing and that awkward feeling of anger radiating more strongly from his mind, "Why? You think I need an enemy to help me get my information? Nagi is more than enough!"

"Calm down," I growled, "just take him with you and don't argue with me. We need to work together on this or things are going to start going wrong."

"Schu," Nagi said calmly from his side, "Crawford's right, I'd be better off here scouting for information. You don't need me with you."

"What the fuck!? You're siding with him? Well amn't I just the little odd one out?" the German spat, his temper flaring, "This isn't a swap and change shop you know, I don't like to trade for tainted goods."

Balinese took his chance to interject, his common sense having taken the last battering it could before crumbling completely.

"Tainted goods eh? Well, think of it this way if it makes you feel better, I'm not exactly jumping with joy at the thought you tagging along with me either."

"Me tagging along with you..?" Schuldich spat the words like venom, and I envisioned bloodshed any moment.

I opened my mouth to stop said vision coming to fruition, but just as the placating words were about to leave my mouth…something even odder than my change of pace spurted forth into the fray.

"This is no time for such nonsense!" Siberian said so coldly and in such a deadly tone that the entire company stopped in their own disputes to look at him in surprise, "You're wasting time with your bickering you fools."

I almost didn't notice my team mates expression, too busy staring at the oddly under control Siberian berating us, but Schuldich was making too odd a face for me not to notice. As I turned my head a little to get a better look at him I noticed that his expression was more one of deep concentration than shock like the rest of us. It was as if he was slightly confused by something, but it wasn't necessarily Siberian's behaviour. I had seen that look on the flame haired man's face before, when he was looking into the mind of another and he didn't see what he thought he was going to see. It was odd to see that expression making a show now, especially when directed at Siberian of all people…

"Yoji you're with Schuldich, follow up that lead, Omi and Nagi will continue the search while Crawford and I go as back up in case anything goes wrong," Siberian's eyes seemed to flash as they settled on me, the hairs standing up on the back of my neck as his gaze seemed to pierce right through my own eyes right into my mind, "and no more useless talk!"

"Uh, Ken..?" Balinese started, the first of us to pull himself out of the shock.

"What did I just say?" Ken said in his newly adopted frosty tone.

Balinese just swallowed ad scratched the back of his head in confusion. Bombay looked utterly stunned, yet there was the sparkle of recognition in his eyes…

"Right," the smallest member of Weiss said, pulling us all back to reality, "let's get moving, we haven't much time. Let's get this done and then we can think about relocating."

"Relocating?" Schuldich asked with a scowl.

"Well, you didn't think that we were going to be hanging around this hovel much longer did you? The enemy knows our location, this location is no longer secure; but we'll talk about that later on. Right now we need to get as much information as possible so we can get Ran back before we go making any contingency plans in case we are discovered."

I nodded slowly as I regarded a now slightly confused looking Siberian, hugging his arms and looking to the ground as Balinese sidled up to him to mutter in his ear. He started as the words brushed his ear, shying from the concern, looking all the less the cold hearted focused man he had turned into not but thirty seconds before.

Curious.

However, all of this, as Bombay had said, would have to wait. There was a time and place for solving mysteries, and first you needed all the information concerning said mystery. Just like doing a jigsaw puzzle, you could only put it together after you'd collected all the pieces in one place.

I just hoped that the collecting would be easier to handle than the final picture…

[1] "Giji" means a character of questionable form, questionable word or something which is suspected false.

AN: Well phew, I wasn't really up to writing that so I hope it turned out okay. Was very ill today, got sent home from work and had a creative streak. Damn my evil muses with their bad, bad timing! But never mind, at least they moved my lazy ass, just like your reviews gives reviewers all a hug and one Gil Okay, I can explain, my friend gave me a piece of Gil 9like as in FF money) yesterday and I thought it was the coolest thing in the whole world. So now I'm giving you one too! looks at what she's written and marvels at how barmy she sounds oh well, never mind! Please R&R!

Ps: To Blue dragoness Phew, thanks for the review it was very generous! I'm glad that you like my humour, sometimes I wonder to myself if I'm actually pulling it off or whether I really do just laugh too much at my own jokes heh heh. And yeah, I really love to write Schwartz just because they are so mysterious and their backgrounds are left open to suggestion. Sorry about not letting you guess the character, I'll leave it out for you -. It was in one of my other fic's, a reviewer said it was annoying that they didn't know who was talking and so I thought I'd better change all my fic's just to make sure. But if it's better without, then I'll leave it with the mystery, that sounds more fun to me anyway!

    To Heather R You thought it was beautiful sniff? That has to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said!! gives Heather two pieces of Gil and a cookie There you go! Hee hee, don't worry I do have a plan, even if it takes me a while to get round to telling you the main plot. I wasn't sure how fast to take it and please tell me if I am going too slow because I can't tell!

    To B Hidaka As if I wouldn't have a happy ending for Ran and Ken, shame on you! Ha ha, sorry, fluff moment blushes but don't worry they'll be happy I swear. Other people however….nyuk nyuk nyuk…

    To ChiisaiRyuu Thanks! I do try my best to make it as angsty as I can and glad to hear I succeeded heh heh -!


	16. The ancient mind of one million dragons

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz so no suing darn it! What did I just tell you eh? EH? Woops, got a little carried away there sorry hee hee J !

****

**The ancient mind of one million dragons**

****

**Chapter 16**

Admittedly, even though I do love nothing more than to flirt and dance and drink, as you can probably understand I wasn't really in the mood for those sort of recuperative activities right now. In my head I could see it, as the redhead assassin and I walked along the plaza; I could see the dimmed lights surging through the throng of eager dancers, the smoke pluming out into their midst like the breath of a dragon. The sway of the bodies as they rocked their hips to the beat, flung their arms around each other and tossed their hair.

The gravel crunched coldly beneath my feet, scattering like a million tiny insects before my footfalls. I tried to focus on them as the light shimmered over their wet, smooth surfaces. It had rained for a little while as we had walked, not daring to call a taxi or find transport under the circumstances, and there was a slight sheen over everything around us. The trees held that fresh just washed look, the ground was sleek and there was even a misty layer on my hair. However, I don't think it really ruined my image too much, not when I was walking beside a man who (although I would rather stick my nipples on a griddle pan before admitting it) far outstripped my fashion sense and ability to carry off certain clothes by far.

I was not in the best of moods.

However, it wasn't that I was angry, or even pissed off; those sort of feelings I would have been able to handle. Instead I was more caught in that limbo which comes about just after you get mad, that feeling that everything in the world couldn't possibly get worse and that, well, it's probably all your fault. That feeling where you slip from anger into depression. That feeling that calls up old memories instantly. Not especially bad ones either, just memories, memories designed to remind you that things weren't always this bad…and that your probably the reason that that changed in the first place.

The dancers in my mind swayed again, luring me with their peaceful chaos. I wanted to be as carefree as they were, these imaginary keepers of that unknown quality…I had been once.

_"Oh come on now, you don't like to dance? Don't think I'm going to believe that one."_

_I'll give her one thing, the girl was perceptive, but I still wasn't in the mood for dancing tonight. I had finally worked up the energy and the money to be able to get out of my dingy flat and into an even dingier club and all I wanted was to sit and drink and relax. Yet of course, fate always likes to twist my arm behind my back and push me into the unknown when all I want is rest. It seems to be one of its favourite pastimes…_

_"So are we dancing now?" she asked, the multi-coloured lights flickering over her dark streaked hair._

_She was pretty, I'll give her that too. Okay, well, not pretty, she was more…beautiful. Hell, what was I saying, I hadn't thought that about anyone for a long, long time. And now look at me, I hadn't been out in a couple of weeks and the first girl I meet is suddenly an angel! Well…I guess she did have nice eyes, dark but with sparkles of light so bright hidden right in near the centre…wow, they were nice…_

_"I guess we are," I said with a slight smile as I placed my drink down on the sticky counter and slid off my stool, deciding that tonight was not the night to start being cautious. _

_"Good, I'm glad you finally see sense," the girl smirked as she stood in front of me with her hands on her hips, "I wouldn't have wanted to use excessive force, but I might just have been ready to…"_

_"That irresistible am I?" I smirked back as I put out my cigarette in an overflowing ash tray and avoided some patrons as they bustled towards the bar._

_"Hmm, don't flatter yourself," she sniffed as she grabbed my hand and dragged me off towards the surging crowd of dancers, "just yet…"_

_I smiled at that. It was hard to see in this dim light with only sporadic glances at her under the shifting lights, but she really was quite beautiful. Her dark hair was cut into a sort of straggly yet stylish bob which curled slightly as it reached her shoulders. Her tight black tank top glittered and sparkled under the flare of the disco lights as she glided gracefully towards the floor. Her figure was very impressive also I noticed, oddly enough, as a secondary to how pretty her eyes were. It really had been to long since I had been out…_

_She stopped suddenly as we reached the outer rim of the throng, gripping my hand more tightly as she smirked at me over her shoulder. Her eyes glittered uncertainly, making me dizzy as the people beyond her swayed drastically. I ignored the sensation, focusing on her harder as she just pulled on my arm and dragged me into the crowd. _

_The surging of bodies, oh how I had missed it all. The bumping of hip to hip, the clash of shoulder to chest, of hand to limb, of skin to skin; I think I missed the contact more than I could have ever guessed. It was as if the crowd moved as one, not in individuals, not as partners, but as one entity, a slave to the beat of the persistent music. I felt like turning around to my new found date and thanking her for dragging me up here because there was nothing I had actually wanted to do more than this; yet there was no need to do that. She pulled me around herself, rather violently tugging me from in between two gyrating scantily clad females, to rest against her seemingly slight form. I gasped slightly at the motion, a little surprised by her strength. I tried to focus harder on her as we began to pick up the rhythm and sway to the beat. Well one thing was for sure, she was no mean dancer. As we slid against each other, hip to hip, leg twining leg as we surged against the tempo and into the song I could feel myself falling. It was better than alcohol, better than drugs, just this contact. I needed that rush, I had needed it for a long time, yet I had never been so high as when I was dancing with her. I don't know quite how to describe it but as we danced she seemed to know my every move. She could meet and match my every sway, my lanky movements, the swivel of my feet…it was fascinating. She was as sharp as a diamond, and just as pretty too. It was as if the world was slowing down, just as if the rest of the people in the club couldn't see us all of a sudden. It was only us dancing, only her that interested me. I wanted to se her every move, I wanted to analyse her every curve, her feature._

_She was perfect. How could she be so perfect? Better question, why would someone so perfect want to dance with me?_

_She seemed to notice my staring as she ground up against me and slid her arms around my back, smiling a secret sort of smile. I just smiled back, not really having much else I could do in the face of such perfection._

_"Hey there bright eyes!" the hoarse cry ripped me from my admiring reverie violently and I turned to meet the eyes of a burly looking man about my height._

_I felt her stiffen against me. _

_-_Oh man_,-__ I thought, -_well I guess someone this perfect is bound to have hoards of admirers I guess. Aren't I just the lucky one..?-

_"Why don't you take a hike Shuya!" she shot back coldly, all the warmth seeping from her tone while still keeping that authoritative edge._

_"What? You're blowing me off!? For this prick!?" the burly man shouted in rage, his eyes blazing as they fastened onto my own slightly confused ones._

_"What does it look like smart guy," she snorted and pulled me closer, "now get out of my face before I remove it myself."_

_"Why you..!" the one called Shuya flared._

_I wasn't surprised in the least. I saw the punch coming from before he even tensed his muscles and leaned back, his right shoulder tightening and pulling in, his jaw clenched and set. What did surprise me however was that the punch wasn't aimed, as it usually was in this rather frequent situation, at me. It was aimed at her. _

_At her.__ At that perfect creature who could almost read my mind. At the one woman who seemed to have some sense of rhythm, of control, of beauty that had entranced me from the moment I'd met her. _

_I couldn't believe it, how could anyone even think of hitting her? It was an outrage to even think it in the first place! My blood boiled uncontrollably and surprisingly at the thought. I tried to step in front of her, put myself in the face of the blow and take the punch, waited for the crunch of the fist in my gut…_

_…and was even more surprised when I was shoved roughly out of the way by seemingly delicate hands. The man roared his anger, the people around us clearing a space as the ruckus became more violent. She stood before him then, seemingly small and frail in comparison to his bulk and fury. I cried out as I saw his fist swerve towards her face…and then was silenced as she easily dodged it. I watched in shock as the oaf over swung his punch and received a fist in the stomach for his stupidity. The girl just stared straight ahead as she let the man sag past her, the wind knocked from his lungs, and removed her fist to let him fall to the floor. There was a soft silence through the beat f the music. I just stared, as did most of the crowd. Then slow whistles started forming, then cries and claps and smiles, and I realised that I was joining in. The girl just smirked back, ignoring the bouncers as the carted the injured jerk off the dance floor and threw him out the back door._

_"Well," I found myself saying as the crowd moved back in around us as the excitement calmed down and we were pushed back to close quarters, "I know not to get on your bad side."_

_"Hmm, you are wise," she smiled back, her eyes doing that impossible sparkle once more._

_"I like to think so," I said back with a grin, "but then people usually just like to try and prove me wrong."_

_"Well, I won't be one of them," she said back with perfect seriousness._

_"Thanks," I found myself saying stupidly, tagging on the end, "I'm Yoji by the way."_

_"Asuka," she smiled back, "I'm Asuka."_

"Hey! Earth to Kudo!" the impatient yell snapped me out of the past and into the present.

Damn.

I looked up to notice we had stopped on a long stretch of dimly lit yet well maintained waterfront. There were little pots of flowers littering the spaces between wrought iron benches and carefully laid paving slabs. The place did have an eerie quality at night with the film of misty rain covering the ground, yet at least we seemed to be in a respectable area. I was pulled away from the scenery however by an impatient sigh.

"What the hell do you want?" I spat, pulling my long trench coat tighter around my exposed middle.

"Well, considering your codename, I would have thought you wouldn't like moping around in the rain thinking about boring, depressing memories," the redhead drawled, flipping a hand flippantly through the air, "but you seem to be doing a pretty good job of it."

"Well, considering your fucking codename, I would have thought that you could have at least got us some transport," I shot back, the anger at having my mind compromised leaking into my voice.

"Temper temper," he hissed back as we began to walk again.

As we walked along the slabs of multicoloured stone I couldn't stop my treacherous eyes from flicking left to look at the enemy at my side. I knew I was wary by nature but I had never felt so edgy in my life. I mean…he was Schwartz for fucks sakes! Us and them, we just don't mix. I mean how the hell was I supposed to trust him? What if this was all just some elaborate trap to finally get rid of Weiss when their own organisation was going down the tubes? There were so many dangerous factors and theories springing from this union that far outweighed the good factors.

I watched his eyes as we walked under the streetlamps, eyes a shade of deep, deep emerald. They were very focused eyes at that moment, although I had seen them twisted I pain, crinkling in malicious laughter, hard and cruel…it was too odd to see them looking suspiciously like my own. His light auburn hair was streaked with my own hair products to make it more manageable and sat obediently around his face, swaying slightly as we walked. His face was also determined, under his auburn bangs, reminding me disturbingly of a lion stalking its prey.

The rest of his body was also covered in my clothes, my white sheer jacket that cut off just above the hips, my shimmering black and blue veneer shirt that lay loosely over my black leather trousers which fitted rather too well all the way down to the only thing he was wearing that he actually owned. His boots. It really was a fucking crime how well he carried off my clothes.

"You know you can just look," he smirked at me suddenly as we turned into a little alleyway to get onto the main street, "I won't say anything."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure you'll have enough people at the club to give you your ego fix for the night," I retorted coldly, a little annoyed that he could be so blunt in this sort of situation, "so don't be offended if I pass up the offer."

"Suit yourself," he said casually, his face the picture of placidity which was a stark contrast to the rage I had seen plastered on it not half and hour earlier.

This man was an emotional anomaly unto himself. It made my head hurt just thinking about it.

As we reached the end of the alleyway the mist like rain let up and allowed us one minutes dryness before we stepped out into the almost dead street. We weren't near the town centre at all, an odd place for a club, and the houses and small shops were all dark and shut down for the night. People were in bed assuming safety, shopkeeper's home for the night thinking their livelihoods safe and sound. I felt myself smile sadly at the rather depressing thought. Hell, I was having a rough night of it already and I wasn't even at the club yet. That was until, of course, we rounded the next corner, stepping round a small Japanese maple the sound hit me like a reminiscent wave, dowsing me in the past and pulling my mind back to the nights before this had all started…when things had been so much less complicated.

The club was hardly ostentatious, with a single door small entrance flanked by two burly bodyguards. There were two small silver birch trees to the sides of the guards, their trunks seemingly luminescent in the flickering lights escaping through the open door. The large classy lit sign above the doorway read "The Ancient Spirit" in large stark bold black characters on a creamy parchment coloured background. Its air of unobtrusiveness fitted in well with its surroundings which, at the moment, seemed to be ignoring them rather well.

"So are we going in there or what?" I asked impatiently after we had stood for a couple of minutes looking at the entrance, "I'm not exactly thrilled enough to make this mission last any longer than it has to."

"Could you say that any louder?" Schuldich said with an incredulous stare before he began to walk towards the doorway, "I don't think the spies heard you."

I wasn't going to rise to the bait, I wasn't going to rise to the bait…god how was I ever going to get through this night without drawing the attention of the entire club to our presence by strangling him openly on the dance floor? Guess it wouldn't be too bad a way to go, but still, I had a little self control left. Unfortunately the majority of that luxury had been used up by another certain fiery redhead who was still M.I.A.

It took nothing but a nod of the head for Schuldich to get us past the mammoths flanking the doorway as if it were an ancient cave. They grunted and shifted a little uneasily as I walked between them but did nothing more. I just sighed my relief and stuck close, no matter how much I hated it, to my companion, his usually annoying trait seeming more useful by the minute. The club was surging, more real and deafening than any memory could recall to the senses. The dark swirling atmosphere was punctuated by stabbing lights which in turn were soothed by pluming smoke. The sound pumping from the over large speakers against the wall seemed to reverberate against my very essence, sending my whole body tingling, bringing back that jolt of pleasure that was loosing yourself in the mass. As I watched the dancers sway and the people shout and caress and flirt, I realised that this was not so much a club but a throng, a whole, a separate entity. A tap on the shoulder made me look round.

"The bar," the Schwartz mouthed as he gestured to the long drink laden block surrounded by stools and patrons.

I nodded silently, almost as if to shake the haze from my mind more than to show my compliance, and pushed my way through the crowds towards my target. As the people slid aside the bar was revealed to me in stages, the first being the large garish shelves that lined the back wall, each holding a variety of exotically coloured drinks. They towered above the bustling bar people, the uppermost ones entirely unreachable and obviously solely for decoration. As I reached the bar itself, nothing more than a solid plank made from some glittering dark wood, I noticed that there were many pipes and taps springing from its depths, each shooting its liquid into the glasses at high speed. I was so distracted by the hissing foam that, for at least two whole minutes I did not notice the most impressive and remarkable decoration the bar had to offer. As I followed a barperson to the left of the bar I noticed that they were being obscured by something and, looking up, I could do nothing but gasp. A humongous dark wood dragon was standing at the end of the bar like some ancient guardian, bearing its massive fangs at me. I looked over quickly to the other side only to find a second one, a twin, staring back. As I got over the initial shock I began to study them more closely, noticing at the same time that Schuldich seemed entirely unconcerned about these amazing creatures and was instead scanning the crowd avidly.

As I looked more closely I noticed that their huge wings were folded back against the wall behind them, splaying out over the top of the luminous shelves to meet at the tips. Their heads were bent down, hanging from their long twisting necks, to stare towards each other over the heads of the patrons. Deep ruby like stones were set in place of their eyes, glittering menacingly in the sporadic light. As I moved I saw that I was actually leaning on one of their huge extended paws, the giant claws gripping into the bar as if trying to crush the wood into splinters. Their hind legs were so huge that they almost blocked the entrance and exit to the bar for the staff. Actually, the more I observed them, impressive as they most definitely were, the more I noticed they were more of a hindrance than an asset. Their legs not only blocked the doorway considerably, but the staff had to duck their swooping tails just to serve some customers at the far ends of the bar. I turned to try and maybe shout into my companion's ear about them, wondering if he perhaps knew why they were there, but I stopped when I saw his eyes.

He had seen something.

I found it strange how I was able to read every inclination of his head, every eye movement, every stare with ease, where I still couldn't figure out what Omi's expression meant sometimes. Sure I had studied him during combat, I had made it my duty to find out what his movements meant during a fight scenario but…well, this was different. We hadn't really encountered Schwartz enough for me to have been able to pick up the slight change in facial expression that meant joy or sadness or eureka! I wondered absently if he was tapping into my mind, if I was perhaps getting some sort of feedback, emotional feedback from him as he kept tabs on me. The thought was only allowed to be a fleeting one however as, seconds after I had conjured it up, Schuldich was pushing away from the bar and heading towards the dance floor. I tried to grab his arm, to shout, but there were too many people between us and the club far too noisy for sound to travel far. The crowd seemed to close in behind him, his distinctive red hair disappearing into the mass as I tried desperately to carve a way through. What had he seen? Was it the contact? Was it an Esset spy? Was he getting out of here before they swooped down on us so that he would be saved and I left in their hands?

"Schuldich!" I shouted fruitlessly, all the fear and doubt and loathing about working with Schwartz rising in my mind from where I had locked it safely away, "Schuldich wait!"

I struggled against a particularly large man, the bile seeming to rise in my throat at the thoughts whizzing through my mind. At the back, somewhere in the dark, I could almost here my mind calling, trying to tell me how unreasonable I was being, but I wouldn't listen. The crowd was suddenly constricting, the atmosphere too thick, the music too deafening. I needed to breathe, I needed to hear, I needed a wide open space with my senses all in tact. Then, just as I felt my foot contact with something hard, I was falling. The dimly lit ground rushed up to meet me and jarred my hands as I held them out desperately. When I looked up a rather familiar pair of glistening black boots were filling my field of vision. I stood up very quickly, the club seeming to return to normal, the horrible twisting sensation in my stomach now resembling embarrassment more than panic.

"Kudo you really didn't tell me you were such a bad dancer!" a familiar nasal drawl shouted hot and breathy into my ear, "I think that you should go back to the bar, you're cramping my style!"

I looked up to see Schuldich in front of me, dancing rather too closely to a darkly clad young man. His shoulder length black hair bobbed around his shoulders merrily as he danced, his dark clothes fitting but not too tight and very expensive. His face was youthful and flushed from dancing, his grin no doubt reserved for yours truly. One look from Schuldich, or perhaps just some odd feeling that he was giving off, told me that this was our contact. A kid, barely twenty, who looked like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth never mind him being messed up in an Esset contract.

This mission was going to be more "fun" than I had first thought.

Fantastic.

An: WOW! I am sorry that this chapter took so long, and I hope that this might possibly satisfy anyone who's been waiting for the next chapter. I know it's not much, but it will do for now…right? Please, no, don't kill me AHHHH! Oh, you're not going to kill me? Okay that's alright then! Well, please R&R and tell me what you think! Sorry again for the severe tardiness and laziness of yours truly, and please don't let it put you off, I will write faster, promise !


	17. The Ally

Disclaimer: Weiss is not mine, but Yami and Tatsuha are tee hee!

Key: - _denotes telepathic speech_-

A line denotes change in POV

**Chapter 17**

**The ally**

Sometimes I wonder why I ever bother listening to Crawford. Sometimes the man can be brilliant, a calculating and ruthless strategist with an eye for detail and heart of stone; other times however he can make such ludicrous orders that you have to wonder why the man was ever christened "Oracle". Sending Kudo Yoji on this mission with me was one of those orders.

"Kudo really, would you please get yourself another drink or something?" I asked as nicely as I could, at the same time shouting at him directly into his mind, - _get the hell out of here now!!-_

"Well, uh," he stuttered as if his mind was trying to focus on too many things at once and was having trouble deciding which one to deal with first, "right, okay then."

He must have been confused because he would never have normally conceded so easily. I mean, he's no Siberian but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have that ex-P.I. streak of obstinacy a mile wide. I was just glad however that he did comply. Out of character behaviour was always a blessing when you were trying to be inconspicuous. A full blown fight wouldn't have fitted into that category I don't think; and blundering and bumbling wasn't exactly top on the list either when you were trying to get a contact to trust you.

"Was that a friend of yours?" a sweet and rather melodious voice shouted from my left and pulled me back to reality.

Once again I was shocked by the outward appearance of our contact. His hair was shoulder length, black and shiny but with a kink of the kind that never sits still or does what it's told. His eyes were big and fuscia coloured rimmed in dark kohl for the night. A slim silver necklace was dangling and dancing about his neck suspending a single silver dragon. His clothes were tight but not constricting, fashionable yet bland, and he seemed to meld with the crowd like he was one of them.

Yet he wasn't.

He was the owner of this club, one of the most mysterious men in the entire city as no one knew of his whereabouts before moving here and he dealt with the biggest crime syndicate this world had yet to learn about. He was also, to my even further confusion, blocking his mind from me like a hardened Esset operative. Somebody please tell me where "butter wouldn't melt" fits into this category of criminal. The name Tsukiyono Omi sprang to mind...

"Not really," I replied in my best drawl, "just someone I'm doing a favour for, you know he never gets out."

"That's a shame," he said back, his big eyes shining with what seemed oddly like concern, "I don't think anyone should be sitting home alone on a Friday night!"

"I'm with you there kid," I smirked back, wondering at the look of cute indignance that spread over his face at my use of the word.

"I'm not a kid!" he said back poutily, "I'm nineteen I'll have you know!"

"Right, a kid," I said back with what felt to me like an actual genuine smile as he suppressed a grin.

"I take it your ancient then," he said back as I twisted around him and we danced a little closer.

"Don't push it," I said with a frown and a grimace at the laughter this statement produced.

I felt around for Kudo's mind, trying to keep tabs on him as I loosened up our contacts tongue (not that that was hard to do) and found him at the bar once more. There was some woman trying to talk to him, but he was still trying to calm himself down, his nerves still a little fraught after his panic attack. Finally she gave up, muttering to herself in her mind about how the handsome ones were always so unresponsive.

Well, I mean, gees, you would think that an ex-P.I. would have more reserve than that which he had shown. I only left him without saying anything and headed for the dance floor, it wasn't as if I shouted "Esset!" and then ran out the door! He was so paranoid it was making me edgy, and just for the record being a telepath does not tend to make a person edgy. I tend to be very sure of myself around people, it tends to make them want to trust me, that's why I'm such a good interrogator...well that and the fact that I can read minds but that's beside the point.

The more I thought about his reaction however, the more it preyed on my mind. The only conclusion my already distracted mind could come up with seemed entirely plausible.

He didn't feel safe with me. Well, who would?

He wasn't with his team anymore, he was out with the enemy and the enemy could turn on him at any moment. I felt a surge of resentment rise in me at the thought of that, yet I found it easy to suppress. It was an unfounded resentment and I knew that, if our situations had been reversed, that I probably would have felt the same. If Weiss had come barging into our house proclaiming that they had just saved our lives when, say, Brad had gone mad and tried to kill us all...heck I didn't want to even think about that. I was going to stop sympathising with the enemy now however, and focus on the task at hand. I knew, in the back of my mind, that this boy would probably be the biggest challenge yet, no matter how cute and innocent he looked.

"...So then I said "well why don't you just use decaffeinated coffee instead of regular and maybe he'll be less cranky..." he was saying heatedly to someone who wasn't there, trying to re-enact a scene that I had lost the plot of a couple of minutes ago.

"Hey," I interrupted under the pretence of importance rewarding me with the cutest look of surprise, "what's your name? I never asked..."

"Oh right!" the surprise turned to a grin almost immediately, not even phased as smoke poured out around us and obscured the rest of the crowd "it's Yami, Yami Matsuo! What about you, what's your name?"

"My friends call me Spencer," I lied blithely, inviting him to think he was privileged enough to call me what my friends called me.

"Then I'll call you Spencer too," he said with an angel like smile, his eyes lighting up and sparkling as he twirled effortlessly to the music, "I like you, you know, you're a good listener."

I couldn't help but laugh in my mind at this statement considering I had been inadvertently ignoring him in favour of worrying over Kudo. Worrying over Kudo, what a ridiculous thing to be thinking...I just smiled back a less than genuine smile in return and danced to the beat. I circled round him as he swayed his hips in time to the drum letting his feet step to the rhythm of the keyboard, admiring how good a dancer he was. However, being the owner of such an obviously popular nightclub, was it really such an unusual thought that the owner would be a good dancer? Probably not considering the way this kid mingled...

"So, what do you do for a living then?" I asked coyly, trying to buy myself a reason to get him alone.

"You mean you don't know?" he said with surprise as he swung around me and landed with a graceful arc of his hips.

"Should I?" I teased.

"Well, I mean, I only own the place," he said with a grin, yet there was a hint of wariness and sadness in that smile, "that's why most people talk to me..."

"Really?" I feigned shock, "I mean, I wouldn't have guessed it, you're so young!"

"Yeah, well, never judge a book by its cover," he said with seemingly out of character wisdom before his face suddenly went bright red.

I was about to ask if I had said something to offend him, not really that used to having to interrogate people without the use of telepathy and so prone to making the odd mistake. I swore mentally as he stopped dancing altogether and looked for all intents and purposes younger than he already did. However I did not have to wait long for an answer, even though I never even asked the question.

"What have I told you about dancing out on the floor alone?" the tone was icier and deadlier than I had ever heard, and I lived with Brad Crawford.

I turned around to find the source of the voice, surprised that I had not heard someone sneaking up on us, only to find myself eye to eye with the speaker. This was new; well I mean, in Tokyo I never usually found myself eye to eye with anyone.

He was my height, obviously, with long wavy blonde hair all the way down to the small of his back; it was tied back in a ponytail but still errant curling strands fell down the sides of his face. His white shirt and loose suit jacket gave him an authoritative air even though his hair went against this. His aquamarine eyes were like miniature glaciers as the bored right through me and into the boy standing completely still behind me. I had to wonder, especially as I found this mans mind just as unreceptive to my probing as Yami's.

"But Tatsuha!" I head Yami almost wail like a child would at its mother who was trying to tell it it was time for bed, "I mean, I hate having a bodyguard while I dance! I mean where are you supposed to stand, you're not exactly inconspicuous and you can't even dance even though gods knows I've tried to teach you but you never listen and I swear you have flat feet or something..."

The guy was Japanese!? Well heck, now I'd seen everything, but then, like the kid said, never judge a book by it cover. Mind you, I'd never seen a Japanese man yet with such long blonde hair and pale blue eyes.

One thing I could tell however was that this was not a rare occurrence and, even though I was less than happy to find out my seemingly easy target had an overprotective bodyguard, I couldn't help but feel out of place and like shrinking away into the crowd as the conversation went on. Obviously when Yami talked, Yami talked...the bodyguard just stood like an immovable stone and watched him like a hawk.

"...and then you always do that weird thing with your feet that's like..."

"That's enough!" the one called Tatsuha finally hissed loudly as he grabbed hold of Yami's flailing wrist, which was in the process of describing how Tatsuha danced, and dragged him whining and moaning from the dance floor.

The rest of the patrons only continued their dancing, obviously used to this sort of behaviour from their host. I picked up some random thoughts as I tried to think of a counter plan to this unexpected hindrance.

-Not again...that Tatsuha is so mean!-

-Ha, I win, two thousand yen! I knew he would do it again tonight..!-

Yup, this was definitely a regular occurrence.

I quickly checked for Kudo, made sure he wasn't going anywhere and decided, for some unknown reason, that I'd better tell him where I was going.

-Hey Kudo, don't go anywhere, I'm going to follow...-

It had all been fine. I could hear the beat of the music, the feel of all those hyper minds swirling around me, I could feel the bass reverberating through my skin...but I could feel...a grin on the balcony, a malicious grin...

I didn't think I just turned and sprinted, not caring if anyone saw how fast I was moving, not caring who I pushed out of the way, only seeing that distinctive blonde head disappearing into the darkness. I could feel Kudo's annoyance at my unfinished message, but I didn't care; I could see that head getting closer as other peoples heads flew out of the way.

I jumped.

I flew onto the young man struggling still at his bodyguard's side and floored him, ignoring the taller man's surprise at my action. I couldn't have cared less however as I felt the bullet grazing my back sending a searing jolt of pain up my back. I felt Yami cry out but lie completely still, even when the blood of whoever did get hit sprayed all over his face and mine. The bodyguard, however inept I had thought him from our first meeting, was extremely quick on the up take. His gun was out its holster and firing into the assassin on the first floor, each bullet hitting its mark. I didn't even notice when the screams started to erupt, the trampling of feet as they rushed for the exits and safety. I was too busy getting my charge off the floor to even notice Kudo rushing up to me amidst the fray.

"Esset!" he cried unnecessarily.

* * *

So this girl had been trying to get me to buy her a drink, but I had to ignore her, I had too. My mind was all shaken up and I couldn't explain why. I felt fine, I should have been fine, I should have been focused...yet here I was being the emotional wreck in the corner. I couldn't believe it.

I could feel something probing at my mind and knew it was Schuldich. I was going to refuse, try and resist him, but it was no use, I was in no state to resist the woman at the bar properly, never mind fully trained telepath. I just let him see my mind, the little use it would have been to him anyway.

-Why am I feeling like this?-

Maybe I just couldn't take the pressure of this anymore. I felt like I was all alone even amongst all these people.

-But I...I'm not alone.-

I had to fight that feeling, didn't I? I wasn't alone. Ken, Omi, they weren't here, but I sure as hell wasn't alone.

-But then...-

Could I trust him?

-Probably not.-

He'll probably dump me as soon as things turn ugly, I could bet on that and be a millionaire by tomorrow. But...wait!

-When things turn ugly? Where the hell did that thought come from?-

It was like I had thought it myself, yet why the hell would I think that? I mean I know life hadn't exactly been a bed of roses up until now, but that didn't mean that stepping out of the house automatically guaranteed you a fight. Yet here I was, seemingly hoping for the worst case scenario, that there would be trouble.

Although, it was almost as if the thought had been slipped into my mind...was someone...here? But then wouldn't have Schuldich noticed before me, especially if it was another telepath? Was someone in my mind besides him?

As soon as the thought entered my mind it was gone again. I was left wondering what I had even been thinking before that moment.

What the hell had that been about? I sipped my drink and watched the dancers, absently noticing Schuldich's distinctive red hair above the crowd.

Then a blonde one.

Well, heck that was odd. How tall was that guy? As tall as the German at least, and that in itself was unusual. I mean, I know I'm tall myself, but heck I'm a freak of nature. I think I got it from my mother's side...but I'm not sure, like my green eyes, just something to make people stare...But what the hell? Why was I thinking about all this depressing shit? Again I felt like there was something in my mind trying to suggest these distractions to me...wait a minute, again? When had I thought this before?

-Hey Kudo, don't go anywhere, I'm going to follow...-

I was surprised as the German's internal voice just stopped. I never really got time to think about any of this however, as suddenly people were spilling over the dance floor like a breaking wave, falling over each other and starting in surprise at their sudden predicament. I just blinked, totally non plussed. It wasn't long until a gunshot rang out through my surprised mind and people were suddenly screaming, rushing like an oncoming tide of fear and screams. I felt my mind working doubly fast as I tried to figure out the situation. I could feel pain coursing through my mind; that could only mean one thing...

Schuldich had been hit.

I just bolted from the bar, not wanting to exactly sit like the proverbial dear in the headlights, and sprinted towards where I had seen him last. I found him, pulling up that young boy from the floor, red staining his white jacket. I felt...

...Guilt. Severe guilt as I watched the red essence flowing down his back. Yet, god knows why...

He just snatched me and pulled me behind a pillar and I didn't fight him. The guilt was too overriding.

* * *

I quickly pushed Yami out of sight into the darkness and Tatsuha and Yoji followed. I felt a little less conspicuous in the dark, but I knew better than to think that it would act as a proper bullet proof shroud where Esset were concerned. I just scanned the available hiding places and the crowd, noticing that Tatsuha was doing the same. Unfortunately the confusion and terror of the patrons didn't help me keep tabs on our attackers. Hell, it didn't even give me time to figure out how many attackers there were! For all I knew the guy on the balcony now sporting a fashionable lead jacket could have been the only agent...thankfully however I wasn't that stupid. Esset were professional, they sent back ups for the back ups.

My back ached, burning more than it really should have from just a graze, and I could feel the sticky blood running down my back and soaking my clothes, but I ignored it. I felt that familiar sensation that this was a regular occurrence again, or at least something that had happened before. That in itself soothed my nerves a little, thankful for small mercies. If I was right, and this had happened before, then at least Tatsuha would know what to do.

Yoji put a hand in front of my face to get my attention.

"Esset are here," he repeated, sounding annoyingly lie a child who wants something he can't have.

"I think I know that!" I shouted back, turning to Tatsuha and ignoring the assassins worry, "where's the fastest way out of here?"

Tatsuha looked at me calculatingly, but thankfully the younger Yami was not so untrustworthy. Either that or he just had a stronger survival instinct than his frosty counterpart...

"Follow me," there was no hesitation, not even a suspicious glance from Yami as he pulled at my jacket, but Tatsuha was another matter; he grabbed Yami and pulled him behind a pillar where I quickly pulled Kudo too.

"Who are you?" he asked in just as cold tones as he had used before, and before I knew it there was a gun under my chin.

"Tatsuha!" Yami admonished as he pushed the gun away, people jostling all around us and me still desperately scanning the surrounding area for foes.

I was just glad for the kids trust. Tatsuha seemed to sigh but did not relax; however I didn't have time for him. The place was in chaos, people streaming for the exits, lights flickering as the posts were left unmanned, music coming to an abrupt halt and the only sound being screams. I turned to Yoji to try and get him to get his ass in gear and help me, but I saw the glint of the gun before it fired.

Again I leapt with out thinking, my brain on some sort of weird automatic pilot.

I pushed him quickly back against the wall, screaming out in pain as I felt the red hot metal imbed in my upper arm. I felt my other arm instinctually raise my own gun and shoot its target right between the eyes.

But the damage was done.

When I turned around to where our contact was supposed to be there was nothing but darkness, Tatsuha's distinctive golden hair nowhere to be seen.

"Shit!" I shouted as I yanked Yoji from the wall, thankful for his compliance, and pulled him after me as I plunged into the darkness after them.

* * *

Irrationally enough, when he lunged at me, I initially thought he had turned on me. I don't know if he picked that thought up, but I hoped with all my heart that he hadn't.

Considering he'd just saved my life...

...saved my life...a Schwartz just saved my life...

There was no time to think about it, no time to react, no time for a thank you. That would have to wait till later. Yet that didn't stop me from being stunned out of my wits. Maybe that's why I just let him drag me off with his one good arm, him cussing and spitting as his arm was jostled against a passer by. Well, I mean...

He was Schwartz. That was just what he was. We had only been "teamed up", and I use the word loosely, for two days now. We are not best of friends. In fact, until two days ago, we still considered ourselves mortal enemies. Yet here he was, saving my life and getting injured in the process. I felt like, I mean well I felt as if...like...well...

...I don't know what it was I felt, but I felt it, and it was confusing the hell out of me.

AN: Hi again, well it's another plot builder, and don't worry I'm not going to end up with too many characters! I just like to add a little diversity and so fresh influence is always fun where the Weiss boys are concerned grins. However, that doesn't stop them from being very annoying, so if their annoying you then just tell me and I'll give them a good slap for you As ever please R&R, feedback is welcome!


	18. All the Kings soldiers

Disclaimer: Weiss isn't mine, so there.

key: a line denotes POV change

**Chapter 18**

**All the kings' soldiers**

"_Shape without form, shade without colour,  
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;_

_Those who have crossed  
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom  
Remember us -- if at all -- not as lost  
Violent souls, but only  
As the hollow men  
The stuffed men._"

"_The Hollow Men_" by T.S.Elliot

A trap. How could I have been so useless? A trap, and an obvious one at that now that I looked back at the facts. It had been so easy to find! Fools, the lot of us. Some telepath you are Schuldich, some telepath. Yet, understandably enough, it made me feel some sort of morbid consolation that Brad also hadn't seen this coming.

Ha, some precog Crawford, some precog.

It was impossible for me to find their minds in this mess, our target and his rather touchy bodyguard. It was not only that but they were so well blocked however, even if they had been open to me I wouldn't have found them; it was still chaos, with blood pooling on the floor from various wounds from various people. I wondered absently if some of it was mine, but pushed these mundane thoughts away in favour of finding our elusive mission target.

It was hopeless to be blunt.

I felt my fingers still wrapped around the hand of my enemy accomplice and was glad he still wasn't resisting as I pulled him through the now thinning crowd. I could feel everyone running in the opposite direction, my subconscious silently screaming at me to join them. It always did though, and it knew as well as I did that if I did run I would have to keep on running until I was a dot on the horizon. Even if I did that however I'm sure Crawford would still find me and shoot me, he's a very resourceful type...unfortunately.

-_Ja Schuldich, just relax why don't you_, - my subconscious had been seeming so sarcastic lately, -_will you concentrate!?-_

"Why do I bother?" I muttered, my words flying into the fry and being torn to shreds before ears could hear them.

My back twinged.

"Ne Schuldich where are we going?" an uncertain voice called from behind me as we plunged through behind yet another group of pillars.

"Shut up," I replied succinctly as I tried to ignore the fact that this room was not only crawling with screaming people, but also with Esset hell bent on putting us out of our misery.

-_Gees look at you_, - my mind sniffed, - _thinking in terms of "we" now are we? Think of yourself first.-_

My arm twinged.

I wasn't sure how much more of this shit I could take before I cracked...not that I was really sure what was going on. So far we had been uprooted from our home, thrown together with our worst enemies to fight our old employers and we were chasing a nineteen year old around a nightclub full of killers. God, I can't end my life here it's too cliché.

As the pillars ran out I began to worry. Where the hell were we going to go? We had no leads, no cover and no clue. They could be anywhere! The place was falling into darkness as I watched the lights fritter out with a detached annoyance. I could see a doorway across the dance floor become more and more obvious, it's corona like outline lighting up the polished wood before it. I knew that the Esset were making things difficult for us, I knew their procedures; heck I was one of them...or at least I used to be. I was wondering if I was ever cut out for this job, with my large streak of self preservation coming into play again. I was seriously considering, as I looked out over the dark yet wide open dance floor, of running back the way I had come and just running home with my tail between my legs. Let Crawford kick the crap out of me, it's better than dying right? Right. Yet...

-_Yet what!? Get the hell out of here! You would have any other time! What's so different this time?_- my mind whined.

-I...I don't know.-

-_Don't get any funny ideas_.-

-I think I've been having too many of them recently for another one or two to go amiss.-

I just smiled at that thought, an irony in itself.

"We have to find them," I said to Yoji as the sounds of screams dissipated and an eerie tomb like silence descended, "we have to get to that doorway."

"What!?" the blonde admonished, "It has to be thirty feet away!"

"Yeah, and through calculations I think I can run about thirty feet a second you idiot."

"Yeah, but what about me!? You gonna leave me here as Esset fodder?"

I could feel the minds of random Esset members flashing in and out of sync with their positions. They were trying to confuse me, which means they knew who, or more precisely what I was. Maybe they even had a telepath with them, someone who knew precisely how to fuck with my head. Ah heck, this was getting better by the minute.

I had to decide now. There was no room for hanging around.

"You're coming with me," I said matter-of-factly, surprising myself with my decision.

With that, ignoring the screaming agony that tore through my ligaments and my back straining and blood spilling out onto the polished wood, I hoisted the surprised assassin into my arms and sprinted for the door. I know it was rash, and for a whole half a second it seemed like it would actually work. So you can imagine my surprise when I was knocked flying across the pitch black dance floor leaving a streak of blood and a high pitched yell in my wake. I heard Yoji hit the floor cursing a few feet behind me.

All was dark and still and my head spun. It had all happened so fast, I felt like I had been run over by a bus. My side ached and throbbed in protest as I squirmed on the floor. I tried to move, annoyed by my immobility, but found that there was someone sitting on top of me.

Great.

* * *

The floor was harder than it looked.

"Fuck!"

Well what would you have said?

"Shit!"

That was when I noticed how truly dark it was. I couldn't see a foot in front of my face. There was a soft glow emanating from the bottom of the doorway that the rash redhead had been aiming for...the baka.

-_Can't believe he did that, and then tripped over! The stupid bakayaro_!- I would have screamed it at him if we hadn't been in such a vulnerable position.

We were both lying in the middle of a dance floor in the dark surrounded by Esset. Or at least I think we were surrounded, they could have been anywhere for all I knew. First things first however...

"Schuldich?" I whispered.

No answer, yet I could hear his breathing not too far from me. I pushed up onto my forearms and began to crawl forward towards him. I had seen the blood pouring down his back, don't think I'm that unobservant. Perhaps he was hurt, perhaps he couldn't move, maybe he was unconscious.

"Schuldich?" I whispered again, a little louder this time, my bravery increasing with every step.

I thought for a second that I heard a muffled noise. I stopped dead on my hands and knees. I must have been near him, I knew it, I could hear something. I just sat back on my heels and listened. That noise...was he there? What if...but, what if it was one of them? What if he hadn't fallen, what if..?

The arm around my throat was so quick and tight and constricting that I couldn't have been sure if it had always been there and I just hadn't noticed it. I choked violently and let out a strangled cry as I fell back against a slim chest and strong legs. I felt my head spin, a rush of blood to my head before all access was cut off. I could feel the bones in my throat near snapping point as the darkness began to sparkle before my eyes. I could feel my scream dissipate as the air was pushed from my lungs and I felt like I would die from the sheer feeling of the suffocation.

"Let him go," I heard a gruff voice utter, full of pain yet entirely serious.

"Ha," from behind me it seemed, yet as I felt my head spin again I couldn't be sure if it was my captor who had spoken, "you're not exactly in a position to make demands."

I felt my hands flying up out of pure instinct, even though I could tell by the grip this guy had that it was futile to try.

"Let him go," the voice repeated with more emphasis and a little desperation.

"Ah, but you see, that won't work on me..."

I felt bile rising.

"...you see, I'm just like you..."

I tried vainly to get my arms up again to pry those hands away, but it was useless. My brain wouldn't function, all I could do was choke and vainly struggle.

"You know that, and you can't accept it, yet you never could."

What were they talking about? This guy voice...was a little high.

Then suddenly I could see a vague shape taking form in the darkness, lit up as if by light. It was walking toward me.

"Shut up!" the gruff voice shouted.

"You need to let that anger go you know, it'll do you no good."

I could feel my breath trapping up in my lungs as I tried vainly to breathe. If that figure would just come a little closer, just a little...

"Oh just shut the hell up! Why don't you go and die somewhere horribly, stop being the spoilt brat you always were and let him go!"

"Oh, touchy touchy," the voice from behind me spoke as if from a tunnel suddenly, like I had just been shot from a cannon and the world was rushing away from my body, "you shouldn't treat family that way."

Family?

The figure before me began to glow as it strode into view.

-_Asuka..?-_

* * *

Of all the times for this to happen. Of all the times...

I knew that I had recognised that voice when it spoke, even the way that mind was closed to me as they had sat on top of me. That familiar strength, that familiar smell...it was like I was back there again in that house with my mama and...

"My, my Lorelei, how you've grown," I spat at her feet as I finished, my mind racing, "what a surprise it is to see you here."

I could feel the fire starting at my feet. I could feel the rage, I could see it coming...

"Yes, I have haven't I? Pity it's too dark in here for you to really appreciate it," she scoffed as I felt her move in front of me, almost forgetting about her captive as I saw the red stream up in front of my eyes, "But then I always more desirable than you Alaric, wouldn't you say so?"

"There's no time for this," I could feel it sinking in.

My sister...she was standing in front of me.

My sister...I hadn't seen her in eighteen years.

My...no, not any more; she hadn't been my sister for a lifetime.

"Give him back and I won't hurt you," I growled out, feeling the pain in my back slowly slipping back into my consciousness as the shock of this revelation sunk in.

My sister...

"Ha, that's a good one! Like you could hurt me! And you're back up doesn't seem to be very effective..."

I knew she meant Yoji, and my anger flared as I thought of him in her clutches, that witch, that banshee...

"...and anyway, dear brother, shouldn't we be savouring this reunion? I have been looking forward to this for so long..."

She didn't get a chance to finish; I rushed at her before she could utter another word from her foul mouth.

"Quiet!" I roared as I finally lost my temper...not that anyone could call me a patient person.

* * *

Family.

_Asuka?_

What did it mean?

_Is that...really you?_

I never really had any.

_Why are you here?_

I thought Weiss was my family.

_Am I dead Asuka?_

I thought they'd look after me.

_Will you take care of me now?_

But then we all get thrown down, they have to look after themselves. Schwartz is the enemy...

_I don't need to worry now right?_

...right?

"_Yoji," she said, "I've been waiting for you."_

_I..._

"_Come with me now, I want to show you something..."_

_What is it?_

"_I need to show it to you."_

_But I want..._

"_Look."_

As I looked down, all I could see was darkness. Then from that darkness a figure emerged. It was lying down with two others struggling over it. I recognised it.

It was mine...and the eyes were closing.

"_Decide," she said, "decide..."_

_But you...Asuka you're my family! You'll look after me!_

"_Yoji, I'm dead."_

_NO! You have to stay with me now..._

"_You have to decide..."_

_Asuka...please!_

"_Decide."_

_I...I can't..._

"_Decide."_

"_I...live, I want to live...but Asuka..!_

She disappeared, and the pain returned. I choked on the blood in my throat and rolled onto my side. I felt the brush of a breeze on my jacket as my head reeled in the darkness. I wanted to puke, but I couldn't even control myself enough for that. I felt like I was still outside my body trying to force my way back in. I couldn't remember what had happened, but I needed...Asuka...Schuldich?

He was struggling above me, I could see it as the light illuminated them all of a sudden. I struggled but I couldn't stand.

Then sound, sound invaded my ears making the bile rise in my throat once more. I rolled over to see a huge rectangle of light. The door...the door was open! Then the light was eclipsed as two figures ran through.

I was helpless, surely I would die now. I would die...and I would get to be with Asuka...

"_Omi," I said, keeping my face serious as I took his hand gently, "I do it for you; I do it for Ken, hell even Ran! We're family, we're four parts of a whole now. I couldn't just leave knowing that I would be leaving you all behind."_

The memory flooded my mind, blocking out all concern as I focused on that one day back in the hospital with Omi's big blue eyes devoid of all hope and me encouraging him with words that were proving me a hypocrite right now.

I couldn't leave them, my...family.

"_Oh god Asuka! Asuka, I'm so sorry!"_

Then there were strong arms around me and I was flying.

AN: Yes well at the start I thought that I would explain things more. However, half way through I thought of another plot twist and I couldn't help but put it in early! Sorry, I should have left it till later, but I will explain later I promise! Please R&R and tell me what you think


	19. Gnotobiotic

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss, and I don't own Schwartz and I don't make any money!!

**Chapter 19**

**Gnotobiotic -** (1)

A world without feelings is a perfect world; a world consisting of complete order, the rule of logic as law. I have always wondered if any share my rather controversial view, I knew that my team mates certainly didn't. They definitely relied upon said feelings too often to voluntarily go without them. I knew however that I was right, I knew that compassion was only a failing, a weakness in the clothing of honour; I knew that envy only blinded, that hope only misled and that love was the only one true biological madness.

I have never been one to show my feelings, shunning those who wear their hearts on their sleeves; these people have no sense, leaving themselves open and vulnerable. If I had done such a thing when I was younger, well, I probably wouldn't be telling my story now. There was no room for feelings in Rosenkreuz, only logic and cunning won hearts there.

Perhaps that's why I never really understood Weiss completely, their small world being ruled by their feelings for one another. Their drive was solely emotion based; their morals, their feelings, their very essences going into their work. That, I had decided a long time ago, was the difference between us two groups; while Weiss had feelings and friendship, we had logic and base survival instincts that had been ground into us at the training facility where we were raised. That's why we did not gel, why we couldn't understand each others motives. That was the reason why we would never be able to work together as neither was willing to give and inch, to become more like the other just enough to be able to sympathise in any way with their ideology.

Perhaps that was why I was still questioning the young man who stood irately in front of me as I just sat and polished my gun and stared back at him.

"So what exactly does this backup comprise of again?"

I just had to know, I just had to know I was right. I was sure this too was another motive with emotional affiliations

"Dammit, will you shut up and listen to me?"

Well knowing was one thing, finding out however was something completely different. Siberian was once more acting in his normal hard headed manner, annoyingly enough. I had to admit that his out of character behaviour, his sudden coldly calculating turn earlier on that night, had been surprising yet not entirely unwanted on my part. He had taken control of the situation in almost the same way I would have, blanketing the violence that had been ready to rise and taking control through the most effective medium a leader can; fear. There had been no emotion to his actions, only a purely logical motive. I had liked that, I had understood that. However, all good things must come to and end, isn't that what they say? Now he was still working on the fear element, but it was not quite as intimidating.

He did not seem to understand however that fear did not work on me.

"How about I don't do that," I smirked and shook my head, "and instead we get ready. I have to say, this might be an interesting experience; I've never been "backup" for a subordinate before."

"Hell, and your their leader? Fuck, what am I doing, just stop talking and get ready," Siberian wasn't exactly as controlled as before yet he still had that vicious element going.

"I will do what I want and when I want to do it Siberian," I said in my coldest tone, my eyes surely flashing dangerously as they settled on him, "and don't forget that."

"Yeah, yeah whatever," he sighed exasperatedly, "will you hurry it up?"

It was a miracle; it seemed both uncanny and unlikely, yet I didn't know how someone else could be so like and yet at the same time completely unlike Schuldich. Siberian was all limbs, clumsy and with an odd sort of grace that befits a small child. Schuldich however was sleek and graceful, like some wild animal masking it's viciousness from the eyes of the world. Their physicality was rather strikingly different, yet their will and passion seemed of one mind. I could see that same disapproval in both green and chocolate eyes; even if the German's delivery was more relaxed there was still that will, that driving force they both possessed that pulled the rest of the world in its wake. They also both had that hard headed imperturbability that made them immune to, well, me. Was it possible for a German and a Japanese to be separated at birth? Well, obviously not but...I was starting to wonder.

"They've been gone for fifty minutes and still no contact," Siberian mused to himself as he paced the small kitchen where we both stood.

We had taken up residence there, ready to move at a seconds notice if we were needed. Schuldich and the Weiss had left almost an hour ago and still that stubborn red head hadn't contacted us. It was just typical, him screwing up my plans. It wasn't that I was worried about him; I mean why should I be? I should be more worried about the strategy Schuldich was probably mucking up than I was worried about Schuldich himself. He was so hard headed that sometimes it made me want to kill him. I almost had a few times as well...

"We'll head out in ten," Siberian muttered as he leaned back against the counter, his body the picture of readiness.

He was all taught muscles and tight nerves, looking like a coiled snake ready to strike. I knew that as I sat in my chair by the window polishing my gun that I must look the picture of placidity; yet inside, I knew how Siberian felt...and it wasn't for Schuldich, it wasn't. That idiot...

"Dammit why haven't they reported in yet?" the Weiss asked more to himself than to me.

I didn't answer. It wasn't the fact that I didn't know that stopped me however, it was more the fact that I had too may answers for him. There were so many things that could have gone wrong with this plan that I would have been there for hours speculating on how many bits our operatives were now being cut up into by Esset agents. Not the most pleasant of thoughts I know, yet an entirely reasonable one. And yet, here we were, still sitting here waiting for them to call us. There was something decidedly traditional about this waiting that was getting on my nerves. I guess I just don't like being left in the dark about things...

"Crawford?" the voice made me jump out of my skin on the inside, yet all I did in reality was turn my head to the doorway to address the newcomer with perfect all knowing calm; I disguised the fact that I had not known that the person was going to approach rather well I thought, considering just how much it was angering me to think such a thing.

Siberian had had a heart attack however, or well it might as well of been one.

"Hell, don't DO that! Why do people keep sneaking up on me today!?"

"What do you want Farferello?" I asked the shadow in the doorway as I ignored the irate young man.

He stepped softly into dim light of the kitchen, his one golden eye seemingly placid and docile. He was wearing his usual blue suit top and trousers, his bandages peeping out over the top of the buttons. His bandages were clean and neatly wrapped, signalling Nagi's intervention.

-_Sometimes that kid cares too much, I must talk to him about that_,- I thought absently as Farferello stepped just as silently over to the table and sat down.

"Any word yet?" he asked as he picked up a stray butter knife from the table and began twirling it in his fingers.

"Not yet," I replied, glad that it was the Irishman bothering me and not Nagi again; the kid hadn't left me alone for five minutes since he discovered Schuldich hadn't reported in on time.

Until now that is. Ahh, blessed silence...

"_What do you mean he hasn't reported in!?" those big blue eyes could go an interesting shade of black when Nagi was angry...reminded me of another certain someone who's eye's changed with their mood..._

"_You need to stop being so concerned about Schuldich," I warned him, not even bothering to beat about the bush on this occasion, heading straight for the underlying problem, the one that had to be dealt with._

"_Maybe it's _you_ who should be more concerned about _him_!" Nagi shot back, his uncharacteristic anger making me a little frustrated._

"_Be quiet Nagi", I said with a voice like steel, "and go help the Weiss locate Abyssinian." _

_There was an ominous silence._

"_No," he said after a pause during which his eyes wavered but his fists clenched._

"_No?" I repeated a little incredulously, I certainly hadn't seen that one coming; yet when it came down to base emotions my power wasn't much use._

"_No!" he said more firmly, "I won't let you treat him like this anymore after all we've been through and you still act like..!"_

"_Enough!" I wasn't sure what it was in my voice that silenced him but it worked._

_Perhaps it was the fact that instead of my fake angry voice, the one I used to get all of my team to do as I told them, I had actually lost my temper with him. His once more big blue eyes wavered again but did not soften as he remained silent. Instead he narrowed them and glared at me. I did not respond, just turned back in my chair and resumed polishing my gun. I could feel his hatred and frustration radiating off of him like a small sun, yet there was still that blessed silence. It became even more blessed however when he finally decided to leave._

Feelings, just a weakness.

Nagi would have gone out to look for the red headed idiot if I hadn't stopped him, I know he would have; and he should have known better. I could see in his eyes that he knew I thought that he and the German had become too close. They had begun to care for each other in what could only be described as a brotherly fashion. I could understand how one such as Nagi could have fallen into that trap, being an abandoned child with no siblings to speak of he would naturally cling to those most willing to be clung to. I had known from the start, as soon as I recruited him, that his vulnerability would be his need for the approval and support of other; he had tried it on me first of all. I had not been so willing however, something I had made absolutely clear from early on in our working relationship. I would not be a father figure to him, I would be his leader. He had understood that seemingly, and had never tried to impose any feelings or any responsibility on me again. I had been glad of that, I hadn't wanted to have to have him removed from the group as he was very powerful and thus a large asset.

However, I could not understand Schuldich. He was nothing but a flippant, care free, selfish manipulator of other people. I'm not being insulting, I'm just telling the truth, that is what he is; it was what he was made to be, Rosenkreuz had seen to that. I wouldn't be so stupid as to say that Schuldich wasn't as big an asset as Nagi, he had to be the most powerful telepath I had ever met discluding the Esset elders, and that was saying something. However he was infinitely harder to handle. Sometimes, at the start of their bonding, I had wondered if Schuldich had formed a relationship with Nagi just to spite me, to show me he could defy me at will. However, as I closely watched their relationship grow, monitoring its safety levels, I realised that my initial assessment had not been entirely right. Schuldich wasn't bonding with Nagi because he wanted to rebel, he was doing it because of something much deeper. What that reason was however I neither knew nor cared. I was absolutely certain that it had something to do with feelings, just call it intuition, and I wanted nothing to do with it.

"We're going now," Siberian's voice broke my concentration; his voice still withholding that deadly calm it was odd to hear something reminiscent in it of that small child that I saw lurking within his eyes.

"Yes," I nodded, adding on the end so that it didn't sound like I was taking orders, "we are going now."

I stood to get ready to leave; yet, of course as always happens, just when my mind is made up about something my ever so useful power raises its head.

_The sound of tires burning through an unlit street with blood on the seat covers and unfamiliar worried eyes and the speed was slowing and there was a gun un-holstered, held upon the steering wheel. Four bodies, not two._

My vision stopped as soon as it had started, hardly what you could call a satisfactory report of the future. What on earth had that been about..?

"Hey, what the hells wrong with you?" Siberian asked politely as he eyed my bleary expression, adjusting his bugnuks on his fist.

I was about to reply but before I could a hauntingly familiar sound reached my ears; the squeal of tires from somewhere nearby. I saw Siberian tense as Farferello stood from his chair, his visible eye now hardened.

"Someone's coming," I said vaguely, keeping the slight panic from my voice as I listened to the sound of the car grow steadily nearer.

"Someone?" Siberian snapped out as he rushed for the door, "That's so damn helpful..."

I just shrugged as nonchalantly as I could and beckoned Farferello to follow me as I too rushed towards the front door. I was dimly aware of feet sunning down the stairs, more than likely Nagi and Bombay. I just ignored them for now, focusing instead on the slowly opening doorway as Siberian peered out into the night.

There was an ominous silence, a seeming abyss in the landscape of sound that had been there not moments ago. Yet, like all the silences I had been coming into contact with lately, there was something distinctly unnatural about it. I felt like there was some apprehension and fear crawling just under my skin, as if the silence itself was some sort of monster, some harpy sent to haunt me for some unknown sin as it reared its head to watch me with mute eyes. It slunk around me, watching me as I crept up behind Siberian and looked over his shoulder towards the street. The nerves in my chest were beginning to twinge, I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end in anticipation; I could feel my power urging to tell me something, yet I did my best to subdue it in this moment where it felt like the very air was alive and watching me.

I held my breath...

....and looked out...

...and there was nothing there.

"Well," Siberian heaved a sigh and leaned back on his heels, his sudden sound scaring the huge misshapen silence back into the darkness of the alleyways, "that was an anti-climax"

Of course, just like all optimistic people, he had to be the one to say it didn't he.

Before he even had the chance to bat another eyelid, the scene before us exploded. Just like the monstrous silence that had haunted me moments before, now the chaos of sound was bearing down on me in full fury. Noise was everywhere, there were headlamps shinning in my eyes like some terrible basilisk, blinding me. I felt Siberian jump back, knocking me back into the hallway as he slammed the door shut with a severe curse. My hand instinctively dived into my jacket and wrapped around the cold hard steel of my revolver, pulling it out to hold it at the ready. I could feel Nagi and Bombay at my back, Nagi emanating pure energy, Farferello tense and ready; I could feel them watching me, watching the door.

"Who is it Ken, did you see them?" Bombay's voice was surprisingly childlike as he spoke, the element of fear evident in his tone.

Yet, as I mulled it over in my rather pre-occupied mind, I felt that it wasn't exactly the fear one feels for oneself, that would have been to unbefitting for the oh-so-moral-Weiss. It was the fear one feels for one dear to them, a team mate, a comrade...a friend. Bombay wasn't worried that this was an Esset raid and they were going to blow down the door any minute and kill us all in ways we could only imagine in our worst nightmares...he was afraid that Balinese was dead; he was afraid that it would be Abyssinian on the attack again, that he would still have that fire of odium in his eyes, a window to a soul filled with hatred for his own, well...family is all you can call them. I mean, I wouldn't call Schwartz a family by any stretch of the imagination but Weiss...they had something we didn't; god knows what it was or if I would have even wanted it, but it was there.

"Hell if I know," Siberian answered his team mate eloquently as he pushed us all back away from the door, "but does it sound remotely good to you?"

I was going to protest, always one to believe that the best defence was as an offence where Esset were concerned, especially when you're three team members down. However after seeing the state of Bombay's wall had been in when we arrived I wasn't sure I wanted to chance anything. An explosion like that at such close range...I wasn't even sure if Nagi's shields could stand up to something like that.

"What do we do? Do we just wait?" it was as if Siberian was actually talking to himself as we all stood, waiting for the first strike; rather disconcerting really, "Need to focus, just concentrate..."

"Ken, what..?"

"Quiet Omi, just be ready."

And again, that cold tone was back. That no business manner that so mirrored my own, yet was filled with something entirely different...justice? It sounded like nobility in that tone...so very confusing. And of course, it was heavy with feeling, something my tone would never have possessed.

I ignored this train of thought however as the noise from outside became too close for comfort. The sound of wheels burning on tarmac ground to a halt, followed by the thrashing open of doors, the flurry of worried voices and the trampling of feet. I tensed, ready for anything, hopefully...yet, wait a minute...worried voices?

No, it couldn't be...

There was an almighty crash on the doorstep that made everyone flinch, including, to my shame, me. It was as if time itself was slowing down in a way, perhaps some sort of adverse reaction to the way it had seemed to speed up abnormally only moments before. There was the muffled sound of an argument from the other side of the polished beech wood; I felt decidedly helpless as I strained to listen, noting absently that everyone else was doing exactly the same. Then came the most surprising thing of all.

Someone knocked rather politely on the door.

The silence returned, yet it had a rather stunned and confused expression this time. I just blinked along with the rest of the room, more surprised than I had been in a long time.

Then, as if solely to shatter the stunned silence that followed this act, someone began laughing manically.

I knew that laugh.

(1) Gnotobiotic means "relating to or denoting a controlled environment, e.g. a germ free culture containing no unknown organisms." I thought this related well to Crawford's view in this chapter of his perfect world, a place where there would be no feelings (the germs in his mind) to complicate things and so thus nothing would be "unknown" and thus entirely logical.

AN: Ah, I'm not sure I have the characters all down yet but I hope they all seem to be acting okay. I wasn't sure if I'm rushing my own changes on them, they might get a bit mad hee hee! Oh well, please R&R, feedback welcome!


	20. Memoria

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz or any characters contained therein, but I do like to play with them nyuk nyuk nyuk.

**Chapter 20**

**Memoria**

I was walking nowhere. My legs were moving but my feet weren't touching the ground, I could tell. It was just a soft black, under my feet, like velvety space, cold to the touch.

Touch, ha, I was sure I wasn't touching it.

Yet still I walked, waiting for just one hint that I was actually moving, some sort of change in the void that was my scenery.

How long had I been here? I wasn't sure I could answer. There had been moments when I wasn't even sure if I was here, feeling at times like I was somewhere with a fire. I was sure I could feel the heat on my skin, that comforting warmth.

But I was here, there was no mistaking it; wherever here was...

How long was I going to be here? I found myself folding my arms across my chest as I walked, or at least I think I did. I couldn't really feel myself, only seeing a shadowy outline every time I looked down to check my feet were still moving. It was as if I was becoming nothing but the same as the blackness surrounding me. I had caught myself forgetting important things, like the colour of my sister's hair, when my birthday was, even what my name was.

"Ran," I said softly as I continued on my endless journey, "Ran."

-Orchid,- said that unknown voice, echoing softly around me in a mimic of my own words, -orchid.-

It had been doing that for a while now. The first time I had forgotten my name I had begun to panic. I had stopped in my futile walking, staring of into the void with unseeing eyes, my mind straining to remember that one vital element of myself. I had begun to shake, I remembered that, feeling the coldness of the dark creeping up through my leg like a dire frost, eating away at me while I strained and pulled and fought with the barrier around my memories. Finally, just as the cold seemed to take a proper hold, just as I thought I would never remember...

"_Ran!"_ _I had shouted, "My name is Ran!"_

"_Orchid!" it has shouted back just as loud like some terrible echo, making me jump severely, "Orchid!"_

_The voice had sounded so suddenly it was as if it had come from the dark air itself, springing from the void and ringing in my ears. I had just stood there, like a rabbit in headlights, wondering what on earth that had all been about. An orchid? What on earth was it talking about? But, well, my name, it meant orchid. Yet why would it call that out to me? Strange I had thought, and annoyingly insubstantial in its clues...just like the rest of this place._

I had just stood for a little while after that, shaking uncontrollably as the freeze melted away, as my consciousness reasserted itself. I had felt very small at that point, even if a little relieved. It was like I had felt, even if only for a moment, just how large this void I was walking through really was. It was like an infinite cavern, spiralling away into forever. I had no idea how large it was, no idea if it even had an end.

Well hell, I didn't even know _where_ it was.

Yet I kept walking. Even if it just gave me something to do. I didn't exactly think that standing still would be a good idea considering what had happened the first time. That cold had been really very...enticing. Like the death one has always been waiting for, so sweet in its oblivion. I could feel the pull of that which is the ultimate escape, that which I guess I had been waiting for for so long.

Aya...I had...nothing left to live for.

Ken?

Ken.

Well...I...

...didn't want to think about it. So I just kept walking.

Somewhere, somewhere other than here, something was happening. I felt myself feeling severe surprise, yet I wasn't sure what at. All I could think was that I should be feeling entirely focused and indignant as I usually did.

"Need to focus, just concentrate," I said sternly to absolutely no-one.

In the distance, I could feel the calm of the detaching of emotions. Omi's big blue eyes were staring back at me and I frowned in surprise.

Firstly at the fact that I had seen something other than pitch darkness, and second at the fact I had said that name...

...Well, I mean, who was Omi?

AN: Short and sweet, eh? Er, okay maybe not so sweet, but definitely short! Please R&R!


	21. Mixed Blood

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz or any characters contained therein, but I do like to play with them nyuk nyuk nyuk.

**Chapter 21**

**Mixed Blood**

Schuldich.

The laughter grew louder.

Schuldich?

This wasn't happening...

"Schuldich!" I said with impatient surprise, bringing my control back into check just as immediately.

I felt my cheeks starting to flush, but was it with anger or something else? I didn't have time to ponder, I didn't have time for anything. My power was being elusive and treacherous and for once in my life I was in anticipation for what was to come next.

Turning to the equally surprised Siberian I growled, "Get that door open" without eve thinking about the consequences.

Siberian, all of his hard headedness seemingly too perplexed by the sudden change of tack, just gave me an oddly cold look and complied. I felt the very air in the room relax, not wholly but enough, as we realised there was probably no fight to be had here. Well, at least I felt Bombay relax; Nagi knew I wasn't in the happiest of moods at the moment. From the sounds of it there were more than two people on the other side of that door which meant Schuldich had company other than Balinese. He knew that there was still a fight to be had, and he wasn't exactly happy about the thought himself. Schuldich wouldn't be laughing for long.

Then the door opened.

_-How many things are going to surprise me tonight?-_ was all I could think as the scene was slowly divulged with the swing of the door.

I felt the tension of the room spring back into life as the door revealed two unknown individuals. However, it tripled when the blood came into view.

Lots of blood; and of course the majority would be on Schuldich wouldn't it...oh holy shit...Schuldich...but...

...but...first things first...

"Who are you?" I snapped at the tall blonde who was looking me over frostily and the smaller brunette with the strange eyes; always deal with the important things first I say.

I felt Nagi surge towards Schuldich instinctively, but I stopped him before he could get a foot past me. He should have known better.

-_Idiot_,- was all I could think as I glared at the newcomers; Siberian and Bombay more interested in Balinese who was standing beside the heap on the ground that was Schuldich, -_who does he think he is bringing strangers here at a time like this!?-_

"It's alright," Balinese spoke up finally, trying desperately to get the still laughing, bleeding German into his arms to carry him inside, "they're with us."

"With you? So why should I trust them?" I asked, perfectly reasonably I thought.

"Hell, stop being such a baka and let us in Crawford or I'll kill you," Balinese sighed, his tired expression not exactly matching his threat.

* * *

My god that was a lot of blood. I mean, really, that was a hell of a lot of blood...

Funnily enough, considering the horror of the scene before me, thinking "my god that's a lot of blood" was the second thing to run though my mind. The first was "Heck Yoji's going to be pissed, they're his best clothes."

Strange the things that the mind will come up with when you get shocked isn't it?

"You deal with them," I said quickly to Crawford as I stumbled forwards to help Yoji with the confusingly laughing redhead, my shock slowly wearing off, "he needs help now."

I hardly even looked at the two strangers, taking in their appearance sure, seeing that the blonde had an un-drawn weapon in his hand of course, but if Yoji had said they were okay then they were okay. I know, I know I should have been more concerned considering the circumstances. It could easily have been the blonde who had shot Schuldich in the first place, they could be using this to infiltrate our base and...but then Yoji would never have said they were okay. I trusted him with my life and he knew that so he wouldn't take advantage of it.

With Yoji's help I soon had the German in my arms and was leaving the front door behind me, putting my back to an unknown with a gun...not like me at all. Heck, what was I up to? The faint sound of Crawford clicking the safety off on his gun was the last thing I heard as I rushed towards the living room; rather ominous, ne? That's what I thought...

The corridor seemed unusually long as I sagged under the weight of the Schwartz in my arms, his laughter abruptly and worryingly silent and his body a little too limp. I hurried my feet, urging them faster, even though in my mind I was wondering why I was worrying at all.

-_An enemy, he's our enemy,-_ I thought, an outrageous streak of anger flaring in my mind and spreading through my body like quick fire, -_an enemy who helped them take her! Little Aya...-_

I felt my hands tighten where they had a hold, my vision turning red as I thought back to that night...but, when I recalled the memory, the anger that came with it was different from what I remembered. I always remembered that I had felt an undying urge to kill all the Schwartz in that room as thy surrounded poor little Aya-chan and mocked us with their sneers and their insults. Yet, even though I had been bloodthirsty, it had not been the kind of anger I felt now that had surged through my veins. I had felt outraged for Ran, outraged that someone could do this to a poor helpless child, the only family f a lost soul who without her...would dissipate into dust and be nothing at all...

...the anger I felt now was truly blinding. I could feel the indignant rage teetering at the edge of my senses, my vision blurring with the assault. It was a rage tinged with fear, an anger tainted by the terror that a brother would feel for his sister...but I didn't have a sister...and I wasn't Ran. So why the hell was I...

...why the hell, when I remembered that night, did I see myself in my memories as if from another's eyes?

"Put him on the couch," Yoji ordered, breaking my thoughts into shards that melted into nothing as we entered the small room.

He closed the door behind us, shutting off the sound of bickering from the front door, "and..."

He stopped mid sentence as the door he had just closed opened quickly. We both looked at it expectantly, tensing just in case...but it seemed to be empty.

"What the..?" Yoji started, but stopped abruptly.

Nagi walked briskly into view, his small form rigid and his eyes determined and angry. He looked cold and distant as he closed the door behind him without touching it, solely focused on the figure lying breathless on the couch. I didn't say anything as I backed away from Schuldich and stood passively to the side. I wasn't really sure what was going on inside that kids mind, wishing for one moment that I had the redhead's power so that I could just know what was lying beyond that coldly fierce expression. The thought was lost however as Nagi reached the couch, his cold expression beginning to waver as he observed the damage close up.

"Where?" was all he said.

"Once in the back, another in the arm," Yoji answered softly, understanding his meaning while I had been left clueless.

"I need medical supplies," Nagi said quietly, shifting down beside the couch to feel Schuldich's sluggish pulse.

"I'll get them," I said quickly, meriting me an odd look from Yoji.

I didn't have time to explain it to him, but I didn't like the smell that was in the room. It was thick with blood and imminent death, hanging like a reaper skulking in the corners and the dark. I had been smelling it far too often recently.

My head was spinning from the rage that had sent it tumbling in emotion not moments before, and my reason was confused by the abruptness and the lack of explanation. Lately, as I thought on all the odd dreams and thoughts I had bee having, I began to wonder if the pressure of Ran leaving was too much. I wondered if I was finally going mad, if I had finally lost the plot and it was twisting my memories and turning my mind to stray emotions and fancies that didn't even seem to be my own.

-_Come back home to us Ran,-_ I thought as I watched door handle turn absently under my touch, almost as if it wasn't even my hand, -_come back home...-_

...I need you.

* * *

Wow, this hurt.

"Wow" not really being the appropriate word for this sort of situation, yet I thought it nonetheless. Well I mean come on, when was I ever the one to be appropriate? Heck, I had just laughed my head off at our new found friends while bleeding all over our old enemies doorstep, right after finding out that my long lost sister (the fact that she was "long lost" always being her best feature) was actually alive.

I was in no condition to laugh.

Yet here I was, lying in a heap, looking up into Nagi's big concerned eyes and wanting nothing more than to kill him because his eyes reminded me of hers. It was her smile suddenly that twisted his face, her long blonde hair sprouting from his head and tumbling down his now shapely back, his small hands that held those painted fingernails and that ring that had gone missing from Mama's hand that day without explanation...

"Get away from me," I growled out darkly as he reached for my jacket.

He stopped for a moment, his brow creasing in a childlike confusion. That was all it took, thank the gods, and suddenly he no longer looked like her. So it was alright, he could do anything he wanted to me now, just as long as he didn't look like her he was safe from me. I would just lie here and hate her rotten guts until I died form it.

"Is he going to be okay?" I heard Kudo ask Nagi softly from his position safe against the wall.

"Yes," Nagi said, assuring himself more than Yoji.

"I'd better be you idiot," I said with another painful laugh that made the wound in my back heave and my stomach turn, "cause this is half your damn fault."

I suppressed the laugh I wanted to let escape when I saw the look Nagi rounded on Yoji then. It was pure fury, and that look from Nagi was scary I guarantee it. I had experienced it once before, and that was quite enough for me thank you. It was the sort of look that made you quail and want to beg for forgiveness. Yoji looked like he wanted to do that at that very moment.

"Hey I didn't ask you to save my life baka!" he said with a scowl, albeit a confused one.

"Yeah, well I didn't ask myself to either, so I'm still blaming you."

Nagi's expression was priceless. I had never seen him show so much emotion in such a short space of time, and especially such diverse ones. He had gone from fury to shock in a nanosecond. He was staring at me in utter shock, his blue eyes wide as he took in my look of utter sincerity. I knew what he was thinking, and at first I wasn't really sure whether to be flattered or insulted. I had saved Kudo Yoji from certain death of a bullet through the heart...but in the process I had let a searing hot, high velocity piece of lead dig into my arm and spill my blood all over his expensive white clothes. I had sacrificed myself for someone else, an enemy no less, and for once in my life I had no real explanation for what I had done. I felt like screaming and laughing all at once; I probably would have if my wounds would have permitted it. I hadn't done it because I wanted to, that was almost too absurd to think, but then why had I done it if that was the case..? I had no answer to that, and the thought was driving me mad.

Not very me at all, and Nagi knew me almost as well as I knew myself...

-_Yeah kid, I know, I know,_- I said to him with my mind, -_I'm not sure what happened either.-_

-_You saved him voluntarily?-_ he asked back while Yoji brooded against the wall, his face hidden behind his straggling sweat soaked bangs.

_-Of course I did_,- I mumbled, _-was there ever anyone who could make e do anything I didn't want?-_

-_.....Good point_,- Nagi almost smiled.

Just then the door burst open again and Ken wobbled into the room under a load of bandages, syringes, morphine, melonine, surgical tape and all other manner of medical goodies. I just sighed and relaxed a little, even if I could still feel the blood leaking out from my back and soaking the couch against my skin. I had been putting all of my will power into ignoring the pain, into just staying alive...but I was glad that bumbling idiot had come when he did. I wasn't sure how much longer I could have lasted just with my mind alone...I was slipping and I knew it. My mental power could battle the pain of my wounds with seeming ease, but it couldn't battle blood loss.

"You are going to be alright," Nagi said softly as Yoji pushed from the wall to help Ken; he obviously knew what a strain it was on me to use telepathic speech and had reverted, thankfully, to just talking.

"Yeah," I croaked back, "sure."

As I watched Yoji come to stand up behind Nagi's small form I felt myself smiling. He eclipsed the lone light bulb casting his head into an erratic halo of sweat damp hair and worried eyes.

-_Worried eyes...-_ I almost laughed, -_must be hallucinating already.-_

I let my eyes slip closed as he leaned down over me to help unbutton my shirt, well his shirt, and just revelled in the touch of his hands on my skin that was so much more comfortable than the pain of the searing bullet wounds. I focused on that deeply, honing in on each feather like touch and each simple imprint, letting my eyes scrunch tighter as I felt myself lifted and the jacket and shirt slipped from my body. I could feel the dried and clotted blood around the wounds sticking to the material, holding on as if unwilling to let it go. My skin pulled and shook in protest, I suppressed a gasp at the pain that flooded my senses, I felt the blood caked shirt snap at my back.

Then all I felt was the needle slipping into my artery and in a sudden wave of the most extreme pleasure I felt the morphine flood through my system.

-_Time to give it up Schuldich_,- I laughed inside my own now drowsy mind.

So I did...I blacked out the first chance I got...escaping into the void with a heavy heart...

...and her gloating eyes were there to greet me in the darkness.

AN: Right, okay, sorry about the lack of explanation Spawn of Hell, I just read your review when I was almost finished this chapter! Woops. But I will explain it, I promise, I just don't want to take it too fast and ruin all the juicy bits he he! I have a lot planned for this story and I hope everyone can be bothered sticking it out, but if I am going far too slow then just say; I can go the opposite way sometimes and end up leaving a story far too slow for its own good!

I'll just take this space to say thank you for all your reviews! And lots of thanks to Heather R for reviewing all of my chapters (hugs and gives the biggest cookie in the known universe) and for being so supportive of my writing style. Sometimes I worry that I'm just describing random crap no one wants to know about he he. Ps: Sometimes I wonder if I even need to write the next chapter for you, you seem to guess it all in the questions in your reviews ha ha!

Thanks, Ro x


	22. The beggining of Inhumane

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz, any of the characters or any of the original plotline.

**Chapter 22**

**The beginning of Inhumane**

"Yes I know what happened."

"I am sorry my Lord, I did not mean to let him escape."  
"That is of no consequence," the voice was strange coming so softly and comforting, "we will make him ours soon. You are sure you can convince him?"

"I know his own mind better than he does," she smirked and her eyes glittered menacingly.

"That is pleasant news," those dark eyes would have mirrored that glee had they been able to mirror anything but darkness, "and you saw them as well didn't you."

"Yes, both the Reclaimer and the Bearer were with them."

"Excellent. I look forwards to your next report Lieutenant."

"Yes my Lord."

The chamber was so suddenly dark and silent that it was as if she hadn't been talking at all, as if it were all in her head. Of course it could have been, for all intents and purposes; sometimes she found it hard to distinguish between reality and dreams and telepathy when dealing with someone or something so strong.

She shook her head, her long auburn hair dancing around her face as she smiled outright.

"Thought I was dead didn't you," she said to no one in particular, flicking her nails absently against the palm of her hand, "silly, silly little boy."

Yet she laughed at this statement, the darkness swallowing her mirth as if it were something foreign to be destroyed. Her mouth was a cruel smirk as she brought her hand up to finger the heady bruise bursting from her pale cheek. No, he wasn't that same little brat of a boy she had known from so long ago, it was different now. He had definitely grown, a man now, even if he was still imperfect unlike herself.

"All those wounds, all that blood little brother," she mused as she stood, lighting the room with the casual flick of a nearby light switch, "and for what? One measly mortal life? You really have changed while I've been away. Perhaps I should have kept a closer eye on you."

The now illuminated room did not show much more promise in the light than it did in the darkness. The floor was mostly bear with polished wooden floorboards. There was a table in the middle of the room, low and long with small tablets and parchments neatly propped along its surface. It stood stark against the nakedness of the room, just like the large windows did, dominating on half of the rooms walls. Thick and dark they sprawled the walls, sporting French trellis's on the outside as well as sliding doors to reach the patio. She walked forwards, bare feet making no noise on the perfect, gleaming floorboards, and settled herself in the direct centre of the room. The encompassing dark windows were overpowering yet she only continued to smirk inwardly, laughing every now and then seemingly at nothing.

"Oh my," she muttered, crossing her legs and relaxing, her face contorting to a relaxed state, "oh my, my, my. That's what you think is it?"

Her face twitched, her eye constricting and her brow furrowed. She sent her mind out, like a pet it flew through the windows and out into the sky. It was a strange sensation being out of your head, literally, but she was used to it. Of course, being slightly deranged always helped. Yet, even if she was now one of the Order, she only had one goal. It had always only been one goal.

"I will burrow deep. Deep into the mind of mine enemy and out his conquests of old and new."

She strained her link further, pouring her mind into his as sand through an hourglass; discreet and unnoticed.

"I know your thoughts…I see your mind…I'm coming for you little one. I'm coming for you."

AN: Just a short update, hardly elucidatory or even barely illustrative…oh well! Please R&R.


	23. Russian Doll

Disclaimer: No WK owned by yours truly.

**Chapter 23**

**Russian Doll **

We had to get out of there, so we left there, simple as that. Abandoned. I don't think things had moved this fast in a long time, no time to stop, no time to breathe, no time to look over your shoulder at the gun pointed at your head. No time, because if you did then you were caught, and if one of us went then everything was going to fall apart.

That was the written future.

Well, that's the sort of talk that comes from having a Fortune Teller in your presence. You're never left wanting for information, unless of course he wasn't forthcoming with this information. Then you just had to persuade; not as easy as it sounds. But, wait…I'm getting ahead of myself. First things first; we had left, left our home of short notice and that blood stained couch and the attic where I saw him last. It may have been short lived in but it was full of memories, strange that it was possible ne? Yet, when in a time of such hatred and danger memories are cherished like diamonds; rare and more beautiful than anything else around you. That sight…

…that sight of him, just standing there with that distant look on his face, head turned up towards the window, the ceiling far above us, the moonlight splayed out over the floorboards…

I missed it already. I missed having four strong walls around me, now replaced with the metal shell of Yoji's beloved car. "Safe" he may preach it, yet there's a lot to be said for brick and mortar. I felt very open; very, very exposed to the world. That world that I felt was watching me, every face turning towards mine, eyes boring into my face. I felt like the entire population of Japan must be looking for us, must be reporting us to…well, whoever the hell had taken over Esset I suppose.

Odd that. I hadn't even really begun to think about it yet…well, it's just that I don't even know my enemy. Except for…

-I'm not even going to say it to myself,- I thought disconsolately.

Blood, blood, blood. That's all the world had turned into; blood and space and eyes and searching. Fleeing. The rock of the car as it stopped at a set of lights made my stomach turn over on itself. I hated it when we stopped…everyone walking past stared inside, right at me. I didn't even try to use the excuse that it was because it was an unusual car that usually drew attention anyway, it was too inconspicuous an excuse. I didn't want to try and delude myself, not when we were in a situation like this.

Windows flashing past, air filled with voices and sweat. Was it my own? Shops, bright neon, dark alleys. Staring eyes.

"Eh Ken? Ken?"

The voice was both sudden and expected. I turned my head lethargically to the driver's seat. The wind whipped my hair and I blinked to keep my vision acute. Yoji's eyes were covered by yet another pair of sunglasses, but I didn't have to see them to know they were anxious. I could hear it in his voice, see it in the way he gripped the steering wheel too tightly.

"Say again?" I muttered over the wind.

"I said that this seems a little hasty don't you think?"

"Hey, necessity is the mother of invention," I shrugged, "its not rash it's just essential."

"Huh," he replied, pushing his foot down to keep up with the car in front as we slipped out of the busy inner city, "and here I was thinking I could rely on you to back me up on that at least."

I didn't reply. I just stared at the little bobbing red lights tearing away in front of us, leading us forwards. That car full of enemies, a vessel of danger. The Schwartz, the newcomers. All together and leading us; and we followed. I guess I can't complain about them really, well I mean in this situation who's the bigger fool; the fool or the fool who follows him? If they were going towards danger then we were just as idiotic to follow them as they were to head for it.

Yet it had been a rash decision, Yoji was right. To trust that boy, however innocent he seemed, with that cock and bull story about destiny and a meeting and…I can't even remember it all. Hadn't been listening properly I guess, got distracted. I had been getting really distracted lately. Yet I had still known that I had thought the story was a pile of crap. They had, however, saved Yoji's life and, in my book, that scores a hell of a lot of points. That had been my reason for agreeing to let them come with us; I had no idea what the others reasons were. A lame excuse it might be, but then perhaps I was just searching for any reason to run from…everything.

My mind was alive with inconsistencies tonight. I mean just think, I called them enemies, but then hadn't I just saved one of them, helped save one of them with my own hands? I could see the blood pouring out now in my mind eye, feel it moving oily over my hands as I carried that dead weight. What was I thinking? What was I doing? Things were changing so fast I couldn't keep up. I couldn't tell the difference between friend and foe any more, my mind was a mine field of deception and truth. Yet I was blind, stepping randomly across it. I couldn't see them, any of them, friends, enemies, killers, saviours…

"You okay?" Yoji's voice was windswept and seemed distant as my mind continued to wonder.

"Oh, just great," I sighed, "don't ask me that okay? You know how much I hate it."

"…What? Ken I mean it, are you alright, you don't, well…"

"Don't what?" I felt my eyes turn angry as they fixed on him, my face cold and unyielding.

"Sound like yourself," he said with a frown, "you don't sound like yourself."

"What the heck's that supposed to mean?" I flared passively, "Who do I sound like then?"

"I don't know," Yoji bit back, braking hard at a set of lights, "just not yourself."

I didn't feel like myself. Truth be told, I kind of agreed with him, I had been acting strangely recently. However, things weren't exactly normal themselves. This was the worst it had ever been in my living memory. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to be reacting anymore, I was just letting myself react. I was letting my instincts take over, and if this was how my instincts would have me react to this sort of situation then heck, it must be the way I deal with it!

Right?

God, this atmosphere was killing me. I had never felt so brooding and yet self possessed at the same time. I had, had never been so ruthlessly cold before, it…Yoji was right, it wasn't like me at all. Oh kuso, damn I don't know what to think anymore. I mean I gave up thinking about three weeks ago, so no wonder I couldn't keep up.

The whole world was dark and light. So sharp in contrast that it made my eyes blur to watch it; street lights, shadows, headlights, bleak, moon, the road in front. Back and forth, back and forth. Something was watching me, I could feel it. In the light and the dark, from both the eyes seemed to come. I felt sick again just thinking about it.

Then suddenly, so suddenly it left my head reeling from the loss, the light was gone. We were escaping the city, us and that little pair of bobbing red lights speeding away. Everything was so dark that I couldn't even imagine how many eyes could be staring at us from this abyss of darkness. I was becoming so paranoid that I could hardly imagine being safe ever again. I started to feel danger welling in me, twisting my insides, making me feel like everyone around me was staring at me, even Yoji and he was supposed to be driving the car! I couldn't do it, I couldn't live like this…I had to know I was needed, I had to know people cared about me!

I couldn't survive with the whole world watching my loneliness.

* * *

Being an injured Schwartz really isn't fun. You would think that being injured was bad enough, yes? Well being an injured member of an elite fighting unit, the rest of whom are well and fine, makes it an oh so much less enjoyable experience.

Alright, so I over exaggerate. Nagi is great to be around when you're hurt just because he can't help but be helpful, fussing, looking after you. It's kind of fun to have someone fuss over you I think, even though most people find it annoying I quite like it.

Then Farferello, well there isn't really much to say about him I suppose, other than he's the start of the problem. He tends to stare at you if you're hurt, like you might drop down dead any moment. Either that or he's _trying_ to make you drop down dead with that strangely curious yet surreptitiously manic stare. It's not easy to ignore, even if you close your own eyes, because you can still feel them on you.

Then Brad, of curse I had to leave him till last. Well they say though, no? Leave the best till last? The climax of your point to the penultimate moment? Well that would be Crawford, of course. He always does the same thing, every time. That unbearable look of unconcern, an extreme aversion to taking any notice of you at all you and also a severe drop in tolerance. You cannot get into a fight with Crawford after you have been inured on a mission (especially a mission he sees as failed) or something very, very bad is going to happen to you. It was bad enough the way he had been acting recently anyway, but to have this now too, just when I was feeling my lowest; it made me, well…mad.

And when I get mad I get sloppy. I wasn't really in the mood, or the situation for that matter, to get sloppy.

We had stolen a van from a parking lot. Can you believe it? Schwarz degraded to common car thieves, yet it was and easy way to get quickly to one of the safe houses. Weiss had brought their own car. From there we picked up an un-designated van, something Crawford had bought purely for emergencies, and loaded into it. There hadn't been enough room for all of us so Crawford let two Weiss take their own car and we kept the smallest Weiss with us in the van.

Sure we were working together, but that didn't mean we were anywhere near the point of trusting each other. Hell, I'd been working with Crawford for a long time and I don't think he even trusts _me_ yet. There wasn't a lot of hope for this union, but then I had thought that from the start. It seemed doomed to pair us together. Just like earlier this very same day, when we had been forced to split into two vehicles, we couldn't even decide on it properly. Siberian and Balinese had wanted to stay as a group with Bombay while letting us lead the way with the strangers. Of course Brad had been completely adamant that this was not going to happen. We needed assurance that Weiss would follow. Balinese gave his sincere word.

It was not accepted.

I tell you know the tension had been so high between those two I thought it was going to end in a fight right there; right there in the middle of a crisis and we were about to start fighting each other. If Bombay hadn't taken that giant leap of faith and decided to sacrifice his own safety by coming with us then I think things could have gone hideously wrong.

Not that they hadn't gone hideously wrong already.

The van may have been just for emergencies, but gratefully it was still comfortable. I was propped back against a large seat at the back, strapped in tight against the plush cover, my bandages fresh and fitting. Nagi sat in front of me to the left, the two strangers across the gap to Nagi's right. Bombay sat in the window seat in front of the strangers and stared into the driver's area as if either possessed or extremely paranoid. Thankfully Farf was safely caged up front with Crawford who was driving. I was glad he couldn't stare at me the whole journey, although I had caught his eye in the rear view mirror a few times. I was glad that I could move out of its view with ease.

Nagi seemed tense when I looked to him. His small frame dwarfed by the van's large, comfortable seats. I guess I knew how he felt. I wasn't really sure where we were going other than Brad had said it was safe and so for some reason that I can't fathom, that was supposed to be good enough for all of us. See what I mean about how he is when someone "lets him down"? His personality, what little there was of it in the first place, goes down the drain. Problem is that he ends up taking it out on everyone, and Nagi usually takes it the worst. Stupid teenage insecurities. Hell, I had never had any so why should he? He's just making it harder on himself. He shouldn't take it all so personally. But then…

God, that's me tonight, introspective central! Is that what being wounded does to me? Is that why I have avoided it like the plague before? Perhaps it's not the fact that it hurts like hell, or it turns your team mates into psycho's and icebergs; it seems it could be the fact that it makes me a brooding idiot. Ha, if only life were so very simple.

Simple, very unlike our life right now. I had been almost killed too many times over the last couple of days. Never have had so many close calls in such a short space of time. But then, Crawford has always been there to help us on that small factor. Well, not always but…introspective again. Can't help myself can I?

"Umm, Mr. Spencer?"

What? Who? Large violet eyes were suddenly staring at me from over the op of the seat nearest the window on my right. The youngest stranger was staring at me with innocent shyness. Spencer?

Oh, of course. I had told him that as a cover name. Pretty shoddy really, but then it didn't have to be anything special. I could see Nagi looking at me curiously, trying to figure out the meaning behind the young ones words.

"It's Schuldich," I said back with weary sigh as Nagi seemed to figure out what was happening and began to snigger quietly to himself, "that's my real name."

"Oh, that's a nice name!" he perked up, "Very unusual. German right?"

"Right," I said flatly.

"Well, I just wanted to ask if, you know, you were feeling alright? After your wounds and everything?" his gaze was utterly sincere.

I just loved the way he used the word "after", as if a wound is only effective during the moment of its execution. Like it doesn't hurt like bloody hell while it's healing up, while you're having your sorry ass dragged back to a house full of former enemies who have to then save said "sorry ass" from bleeding to death. "After", don't make me laugh kid.

"Fine," I found myself saying, even after my own vicious little mental diatribe; I wasn't quite sure why, but I found it very hard to be nasty to this kid.

"Oh, I'm glad," he said with a smile, "only I was worried we had come to late to help you, and Tatsuha here was all "let's just go while we still can" and I was like "no, we can't just leave them there!" and than he said…"

"He said sit down and shut up before I make you."

The cold voice that I had heard before was laced not only with anger this time, but also with something sounding a little like embarrassment. The long blonde hair of the young Yami's companion, Tatsuha by name, was all that I could see of our other new arrival. I had to admit, I had thought that Abyssinian's stark red hair had been exotic and seditious, but this man's hair was just so far off that scale it was in a class of its own. It was purely a rebellion all in itself. It had been tied when we first met, but somewhere along the way the tie seemed to have come loose and his hair was left to tumble down his back in a mass of waves and partial curls. It was light golden in colour, nothing like Yoji's deep golden chestnut, and glowed in the lights of the city as we passed through it.

"Hmm, someone's in a mood," Yami grumbled poutily, still acting blissfully as if he were not in the least bit surrounded by trained assassins.

"I told you to shut up and I mean it Yami," he said with a quick glance to his right affording me a short look at his eyes; so very, very pale blue.

This man wasn't Japanese, he couldn't be. He didn't even look human! There was something going on there that I wasn't too sure I was happy with. I wasn't sure if I was actually too happy about bringing two perfect strangers along with us anyway, but then they had saved my life, mine and Yoji's.

But why?

And more to the point, why had I save Yoji's?

Even more to the point, why was I still brooding!?

AN: Woo! Goodbye writer's block and good riddance! Whoa, took me long enough ne? Well, here you are, just another little introspective link and furthering of the plot line by about three quarters of an inch. As ever please R&R, much appreciated!


	24. Sublimely

Disclaimer: No WK owned by yours truly.

**Chapter 24**

**Sublimely**

Endless darkness. The horizon had no end and no beginning.

Lost. Cold; I couldn't feel my body. I looked down to my hands but all I found was darkness, all I found was amalgamation. I was losing myself.

Sitting down; the cold had latched itself onto my legs, creeping up through my spine like circuits finding their way to my centre, my core. I was losing myself. Lost.

"Ken."

Muttered breath that didn't even condensate in this infernal place. I was trying to remember, I promise I was. Anything, something that was part of myself, part of me, not these memories that had no place in my head.

Flames and hatred; deceit and tears.

I couldn't remember getting here, I couldn't think about getting out. Anything trivial seemed to send my mind into turmoil. Simple things like the colour of my hair, what water looked like, the taste of food…my own name. I felt myself washing out at the edges, like being pulled under by some sweeping current. Only when I focused, only when I thought really hard to locate something that had to be there, could I feel any sort of wholeness, yet…it was like breaking the surface after drowning…pointless. But I just had to!

I had so many memories, I had been through so much…and now I was only so much of a man, left sitting alone.

Alone. That was one memory that had, ironically, kept me going. I remembered that much about myself. Loneliness, having it pervade my life, shackle me to a fate I didn't understand; hatred, the vastness of my hatred. Though for whom I was not sure.

I had…come here seeking shelter? Shelter from what though? Everything was such a mystery, everything so unimaginable. Hatred, the feeling was all I seemed to have left, apart from my isolation of course. It made my mind warm slightly to think of it, the isolation of it, the thought of what it meant. What did it mean? I knew, I knew! Yet, despite the knowing ache it caused in me, the odium was oddly comforting. Familiar. I tried to hold onto it, ignoring the instinctual reaction to let it go and move on…to whatever else that was supposed to be there. Yet this place was not exactly your ordinary haven, here there was…

…nothing. Absolutely nothing. I had never experienced this, never known such complete emptiness. Yet, I thought that I remembered, isolation, such isolation. A longing for it, a want so ravenous that it took me over, never let me near anyone. I had secretly longed for it; and now I had it I didn't know what to do. Yet, no, I was sure, despite my lack of memories, that I had not once longed for this, this kind of isolation. This was a loss of self.

"Ken."

The darkness, once so barren, suddenly exploded blue. I ignored it. It seemed trivial to me, this sea of blue that surrounded me so unexpectedly, it had no meaning, no connection. I couldn't place it, so it didn't matter to me. Things were becoming of little interest to me, especially things that seemed of no use. I wanted to find myself, that was all that mattered to me. I needed it even though I knew that I did not know why. This feeling that made my very heart beat too fast to live, to fast to survive. This feeling that made me want to reach out and take hold of my future and hold it to me and make sure it was real! God, I was rambling, I was desperate. What was happening to me?

The starkness of the colour, raging from indigo to cyan made me squint, made me feel like squinting. I wasn't really even sure what I was anymore. Did I even have eyes? I can't feel my legs anymore; are they even there?

I didn't have the presence of mind to look down. That simple action seeming as useless and banal as the endless blue that surrounded me. It was useless, yet…somewhere in my mind, or whatever was left of it, something twitched in response. I knew this colour, or more precisely a certain shade of its endless wastes.

I scanned down my field of vision, searing for some further spark. Nothing. I was feeling apprehensive, yet in a way I wasn't really sure if this was apprehension I was feeling. I couldn't feel anything but that link, that link to my hatred, that primal feeling. It left me drained, passive, sitting, or at least believing I was doing so, and searching in vain for something that could pull me from this void.

I just wished I could…I just wished I could remember what my face looked like.

Bam! The mirror appeared in front of me with all the force of a nuclear explosion. The force of the something from nothing made my head spin and I felt the distinct need to throw up. I forced my eyes to focus. I had started, actually started at the sight of it. There, in front of me where there had been nothing for as long as I could remember being here, sat a tall, sharp edged full length mirror. I felt a surge of input on seeing it, feeling my eyes focus and re-focus on its infinitely glossy surface.

Where? Where had it come from? And more precisely why?

It _was_ a mirror, I knew it was a mirror, I knew because I could see myself in it. That's what mirrors were for wasn't it? It was hard to make out for it reflected the infinite blue surrounding it, fading into it. The waves of blue seemed to distort the surface making it wash backward and forwards in the ebb and flow of my tranquil surroundings. But then, the outline there…it took me a moment to recognise it. Yet the outline was all I could grasp and identify; those parts which made up the object that appeared ever so slowly on that shimmering surface were wholly unknown to me.

There. There sat a man I had never seen before. Bright red hair, contrasting to the blue, tight black sleeveless top, dark trousers, violet eyes. There was blood dripping from his left ear. He sat cross legged, his back slightly bowed, his elbows resting on his knees while his clasped hands covered his mouth and supported his chin. His gaze was unwavering, staring directly into my own. For a moment I almost found myself wondering what he was thinking; it was my own thoughts of course. Baka. This was myself I was watching.

Sudden static. The sound filled the once silent air making my ears ring. I looked around wildly. All this, all this where had it come from? My god, all this, and all I had had for as long as I could remember being here, that loneliness only moments before.

Static.

The figure in the mirror was stationary, not moving as I felt myself doing. I felt panicked by this lack of synchronisation between us, my head finding it hard to comprehend all of this without knowing enough, enough of anything. I felt…small, useless in the face of it. I couldn't explain it, it was dwarfing me, me without the knowledge to comprehend it. Still my mirror image remained immobile as I swung my head from side to side. But then, perhaps I wasn't moving, not really…I wasn't sure how to tell. Of course I felt my movement, but then my reflection was so still…who was I to disagree with my very eyes? I looked back to the figure, its cold gaze unwavering and piercing. Static; A figure emerging in the background of that endless reflection.

A figure, another figure coming into view behind my own reflection, I could see it. I felt myself gasp, I could feel the air rushing in my lungs. My reflection stared back passively. I tried hard to comprehend it all. What did it mean, all of this? It seemed so simple yet so entirely complicated. There was something there, in that gaze…

Hatred…but then the hatred in me seemed eternal.

The new figure was wavering at the edges as it came into view. It was kneeling, from what I could tell, behind the outline of my own image. It was fuzzy, buzzing in and out with the roar of the static. Then bang, just as fast as the mirror appearing, the figure was whole. The static dissipated. The world was quiet.

I knew that face. Whole brown eyes staring at me, the pupils' dark and wavering. He was behind me, I knew he must be, he was in the mirror…yet I could only look at the reflection. It smiled. I couldn't turn my head, couldn't bring myself to face another thing so new! Or was it something so familiar? What was I afraid of? Slowly the figure began to shuffle forwards on his shins, the jumper tied around his middle dragging on the floor. I could feel that heat radiating towards me from…from him.

"Ken."

The figure in the mirror smiled. Such an, innocent smile. I felt the whole blue converge and shiver at its touch, making the cold in me waver and twist. I could reach out, if I could just reach out I could…

…it had been so long, so long since I had seen…anyone…been this close to anyone. I had always been so far from him, so far in my own loneliness…he shifted closer. I could feel his arms shiver as they encircled my shoulders. What was this feeling inside of me? What was this memory that was stirring? His knees slid around my thighs and his chest felt warm against the cold in my spine. I shivered in response, closing my eyes before they could betray me. The gesture was familiar and it made me feel like turning, turning and taking hold of him and…pushing him away. I kept my eyes closed, tightly closed.

"You're alright now," the voice at my ear was muffled and accompanied by the rustling of leather, "I'm not alone."

I sighed. Lips on my shoulder, moulding to the collarbone, leaving a tickling sensation as they lifted. I opened my eyes, forced them against what was left of my will. I wanted to see him, I felt so desperate, but all I received was…the one in the mirror was smiling. Yet that was no smile etched onto those sharp features. A smirk, a cruel twist, eyes like diamonds, hard and cold. Had I…was I wearing that look? My other self in the mirror was wearing it, so why shouldn't I be? That look…that look of…malice, I almost cried out on seeing the depth of its cruelty. Was this my true nature? Was this the one that I had hoped _his_ arms would hold? No, it couldn't be, I wouldn't accept it! But it was too late in my mind, things were coming back to me as I stared into those eyes, hurtling back too fast to catch.

Crashing walls, the sound of a million voices, the squeal of rubber on tarmac, flash of broken glasses, sound of receding gunfire over rain slicked streets; and blood. Blood everywhere…a sea, a sea of blood. Inhumane.

My eyes widened as the last image invaded my mind. What did this mean!? I felt the urge to clutch my head in agony, but I couldn't figure out how. The figure of myself only laughed then, shimmering in the grasp of those tender arms. I couldn't stand to watch it, that monstrous thing held in that pure grasp.

I turned around. I couldn't face it. That wasn't me, that figure; while I couldn't explain it to myself I knew it was true. I didn't even know who I was any more, but it definitely wasn't that. I couldn't be, oh please, not that, anything but…

"Help me," I whispered, pressing tight against that willing body, "I can't find myself."

Smell of leather and metal. Or was that blood? I didn't want to know, I didn't care.

"Don't worry," arms around my back, cheek against my neck, soft hair against my chin, "I'm not alone."

-_I don't want to be alone_,- I couldn't even hold onto that one constant, my loneliness which, moments before, I had held so precious, one of the few links I possessed to my misplaced past, -_I don't want to hate you_.-

Tears on my cheeks, not my own. The wonder of glistening russet eyes, locked on my own.

"You don't want to kill me, do you?"

"Kill…I don't want to kill anyone…"

"It's all so lost, I don't want to be lost, I'm…scared."

"I wish I knew what it was to be scared…"

"Take it from me, please, help me…"

"I can't, I don't know…what I should…"

"Hold me, I can't hold on; just hold me."

His lips trembling; so alone. Help him; help yourself. Cover them, take away the ache, don't let the cold come back. Warmth, feeling it flow from my lips to my eyes, closing them softly over that fear, softly as I embraced my saviour. Who was this man, who was this figure emerging from oblivion? Had he brought the blue? Had he brought that other one, that doppelganger? Nothing, don't think about it. Just lose yourself, that's the only way. Lose yourself in him.

Lose yourself in that one kiss that somehow you just knew had been waiting an eternity to come.

* * *

Leaning over me, that warmth.

"Ken?"

God I needed it. I needed it! Was it him? I could feel him, I smelt him too. That smell, so unique, god he was…so close…

-_Aya_…- my tongue darted out to wet dry lips, _-…Aya…-_

Mouth, I could feel breath. I groaned as I was pulled up, grabbed, lunging out to cling desperately to those arms. Hot, wet, I could feel all the hairs on his cheek as I pulled back, grazing his lips. Push forwards, surge of ecstasy, crush mouth against mouth, pure bliss…

…the way it's meant to be.

"Whoa! Hold up there!"

I was dropped unceremoniously back to the car seat. Car seat?

"Ken, are you alright?"

Had I…fallen asleep?

"Wake up dammit!"

Yep, definitely fallen asleep.

"I'm awake, you don't need to shout."

Felt like shit, yes I was definitely awake then.

"Well, next time, come out of your fantasies before you project them onto me okay?"

"Shut your mouth Kudo," I growled, opening my eyes and staring straight ahead to the ceiling above.

Ceiling. Where had we stopped? The sound of banging doors and Omi's voice drifted to my ears. I sighed.

A dream. Forget it, don't think about it. Only a dream.

"Ken what's wrong?" Omi, concerned and wide eyed.

"What?" I sniped back, sitting up fervently and jumping out of the car without even bothering to open the door.

"You're all pale…" he said with a look of rigid concern, his face mothering.

I turned from it, watching with anger as the Schwarz emptied from the truck we'd been tailing, keeping a close eye on their new friends. I crossed my arms and looked around, my eyes hard and uncaring. But I could still feel those lips…no! Don't think about it, don't torture yourself for fucks sakes!

"Where are we?"

Omi just sighed and closed his eyes. I frowned angrily at his behaviour but didn't say anything.

The car park in which we had stopped was impressively large, sweeping away in all directions before hitting the squat walls which enclosed it. The entire structure was industrial grey in colour, smattered with lights which hung in equal spacing along the walls. The uniform pillars however were made of a slightly different materiel than the rest of the basement. I ran my hand across the one nearest to me, marvelling at the smoothness of its surface; flawless. It was fashioned of highly polished granite, its surface reflecting us chaotically, distorted and misshapen. Looking around at them in turn, what with the twinning of the movement of the others and this distorted reflection, gave me a headache. Well I mean my head wasn't in the best of states at the moment anyway. I quickly located an exit elevator and a set of slim steel stairs to our far left and then looked back down to the floor. The entire place was empty but for us.

"Crawford, where are we?" I heard Schuldich say, his voice a little hoarse.

"Just shut up and lean on me," he received coldly in reply, "you're going to reopen that wound."

I chanced a look up to where the redhead was leaning with his arm over Crawford's own. He looked pale yet still a hell of a lot better than before. His eyes looked a little wary and almost disorientated. Farferello was at their side, his look its usual eerie calm.

"This place," he began, "it seems familiar to me. Have I been here before?"

"Farferello be quiet and help me," Crawford addressed him in exactly the same manner as the German.

The Irishman complied without complaint, moving to the older mans side and taking Schuldich's other arm. Crawford, seeming to believe he had served out his allotted "team help time" or whatever fucking schedule he had worked out for that, let go of the redhead and walked little ahead. Memories of earlier that night flashed into my head., of Crawford's humoured and cold voice talking of his team mates as of mere pawns...

"_I have to say, this might be an interesting experience; I've never been "backup" for a subordinate before."_

Crawford gave me the chills there was no two ways about it. I mean what sort of leader didn't support his own team? Yet there were moments, little moments where it seemed that he cared for their well being. Whether this was solely because of how it would affect himself if they were harmed was impossible to tell, yet it did seem to happen. It was an odd thing to witness sometimes, a team that at times seemed to work solely as individual units, then just as quickly they would be complimenting each others powers and saving each others lives. Ridiculously convoluted.

"Omi," I said dangerously, listening to the sound of footsteps receding as the Schwartz moved off, "where-are-we?"

We seemed to have momentarily become unimportant enough to not merit a guard. Nagi was watching over the two strangers, the small one and the blonde one, and the others were too preoccupied with making their way to the stairs. Weiss seemed to have instinctually formed a group again and hung back beside Seven, Yoji's car. I leaned against it as I waited for his reply, my eyes still hard as they focused on the retreating figures as I crossed my arms more tightly and fumed. And the strange thing was, that I couldn't even tell you where it had come from, this unfounded rage. I mean sure I was angry at being uprooted from my home, no matter how temporary it had been, angry about teaming up with Schwartz, about strangers tagging along with us, about Ran…but still, as strangely unrelated as it felt to all of these things, it still seemed justified. Strange, no? Yet it was enough for me, "me" who's the one all for justice, the one for believing in myself, no one else, no matter my trusting nature! I must have my reasons, right!? Kuso, now I'm referring to myself in the third person, I'm screwed.

"We're at the old Shinihara Industrial Specialists warehouse complex," Omi finally replied, his blue eyes shining as he began to lead us off after the others, "It was abandoned about ten years ago when the company folded, and was then taken over by Esset for training purposes."

"By Esset!?" I couldn't help but be instantly on guard, "then what the hell are we doing here? Shit, there could be sensors, booby traps, hell there could be people here Omi!"

"Calm the hell down hot head," Yoji sighed, striding up on my right hand side and placing a hand on my shoulder which only annoyed me further, "Omi would never intentionally put us in danger, you know that as well as I do. But, I confess, I still don't get it either. Why _are_ we here Omi?"

Blue eyed silence. A silent smirk from up ahead, I felt it through the hairs on the back of my neck. Crawford, that bastard.

"We are here, Balinese, because this is the safest place to be other than fort knocks when being hunted by Esset," Crawford's voice was still held that cold sneering tone, "well, it could perhaps be safer in fact."

"Oh, I feel so reassured," I muttered angrily, keeping my eyes on the heels of the people in front so that I didn't notice our passing reflections in the pillars and agitate my head further, "and why is this then Mr. Genius?"

"Well, the fact that we are now perfectly shielded from all satellite, ground radar, heat seeking, telepathic, pre-cognitive and clairvoyantabilities," he finally turned to give me a glance with sharp eyes, "that might just give us a bit of a head start on the enemy. But don't worry, this place is quite empty. It was deserted years ago, new base set up three blocks from here."

"Three streets away? Then they'll find us!" I raged, finally lifting my head, unable to contain my anger and shock at this.

"I think not, like I told you we are perfectly shielded," Crawford continued, his heels clicking on the concrete ground methodically, like a metronome.

"And how can you be so sure there isn't a crack in this so called "shielding" huh?" I spat back, "You said it's been deserted for years."

"Yes it has, but then I have a better meter for measuring this buildings armour dimensions and capability than even time itself," he stopped and turned fully to look at me, his glasses glinting in the light; everyone else had stopped to watch us, facing each other off from opposite sides of the little party, "I can no longer see the future out with these walls Mr. Hidaka, and that means that there isn't even a hair line crack in it."

"Heh, so that's supposed to benefit us is it? Removing one of our most major assets by cutting off your precognition? And that's Hidaka-**san** to you asshole."

"Not quite," he said turning his back on me once more to continue forwards, ignoring my insult most annoyingly, "I can still tell if anything is going to happen to one of us, or within this building. However we have now effectively been removed from the time line of the world outside. We will not figure in their premonitions now, they'll be riddled with static and holes."

We continued in silence for a moment, myself having been sufficiently silenced by lack of a good comeback. The uniform footsteps seemed syncopated by the ragged footsteps of Schuldich. The exit sign loomed over head, reflecting off of the floor and pooling over us like a red haze, like blood. God, was that all anything reminded me of anymore?

Blood?

Destruction?

Was that what it had been reduced to? Everything withered and dead before I even touched it?

Everything had contracted, time and space slipping together to leave me wandering in a limbo where all those moments in time when things had gone wrong, all those moments when thick red had covered my hands, when shredded flesh was snagged in my claws…that's what I saw when I looked into myself. Destroyer, killer…murderer. I felt numb, angry and numb all at once. Horrible, this feeling; pure isolation.

Metal stairs under my feet, clanking of heels and boots on the rivets, swinging of a door and mutters of pain and speculation. I was too far deep in my own mind to even argue with Crawford anymore, and that was a big step believe you me. I felt cold all of a sudden, alone. There was an, emptiness inside of me. I shuddered…

…wait, wait, where had this come from? So sudden these feelings, creeping over me, overthrowing my mind…and I had been…accepting it, so easily, as if I had always felt this way and it was natural. One minute I had felt angry, annoyed, as much like myself as I had in a long time and then, wham! I was suddenly like someone else. Just like on the car journey over here, when I had felt alone, sad and then I had fallen asleep and dreamt of…Ran.

Ran.

Well hell, there was no doubt about there being a connection there. Well I had felt so alone ever since Ran had…abandoned us, betrayed us. No wonder I was dreaming of him after falling asleep with loneliness invading my thoughts. I wanted to feel whole and the only thing that did that to me…was him. Him who I had lost, forever. Even if I got him back, somehow found him I could…never forgive…that. Never.

We were his family. How could he even think of…no, I thought I said don't think about it right? Right.

The heels in front of me stopped moving suddenly and I jerked to a halt; surprised out of my thoughts I looked up and around me. No more pillars, no more reflections; we had abandoned the basement car park for some sort of low level corridor. Instead of polished granite there were light grey walls and steel pipes, unused key card access doorways, flickering lights and broken ones. Crawford seemed to be fiddling with a key card access panel beside what could only be an elevator. The light above us was flickering, pissing me off and making me scowl. The strangers, decidedly lacking in my attention recently, were huddled together beside Nagi near a long dead retina identification panel. Well, not precisely huddled; it was more like the smaller one was strapped to the blonde ones arm and the blonde one was pulling off an impressive scowl that rivalled my own. I ignored them, turning my back on the gathered crowd, time for that later, no need to rush right?

Ha ha, funny Ken, funny. You're a real comedian.

There was a distinct clicking noise from behind me. I turned, thinking that perhaps Crawford had managed to do whatever the hell he was doing to the elevator panel and get us the hell away from this flickering light before I decapitated someone, only to receive a face full of smoke. Schuldich had his eyes closed, his head leaning back against the wall on which he reclining, clicking his lighter closed with a hideously annoying satisfaction; a lit cigarette hung loosely from his fingers. I felt my blood begin to boil.

"Mind where you're blowing that," my voice was dangerous and low, each syllable bitten off especially, my eyes stinging from the smoke as I refused to cough.

"Mind where you're standing," came the smooth reply as he lifted the cigarette once more and took a long inhale.

"Damn you, why don't you just have some fucking consideration huh?!"

"Consida-what?" Schuldich raised a patronisingly ignorant eyebrow and cracked open an eye to watch me, his mouth twisting into a smirk as he exhaled.

"Ken please," Omi said, his arm on my arm, his face strained.

"Oh so you think this is funny huh?" I continued, ignoring Omi's plea, "Well it won't be so funny when I stub that cigarette out in your eye!"

"Children, children please!" Yoji said with an arrogant yet concerned air, stepping in between us and pushing me backwards a little out of the ready stance I had adopted, "Calm down Kenken, you're rising to the bait here."

"Yeah well I don't give a damn, let me kill him, come on!" I began to rant stepping forwards again and forcing a surprised Yoji to take hold of my arms to stop me; Nagi, the strangers and Farferello were now watching us while Crawford remained focused on his machine.

"Shit Ken, will you give-it-a-rest!" Yoji struggled, finally pushing me back up against the opposite wall and staring at me like I was losing my mind, "What the hell's the matter with you!?"

I was losing my mind.

It left in a flash; the anger, the confusion, the rage…gone.

Where the flying fuck had that all come from!? I was going to do it…

…really kill him, I would have done it. Oh god, oh god…what's happening to me?

"Sorry Yoji," the words came out as nothing but a whisper, I felt my expression change to one of confusion and worry.

"That's…okay," he said warily, letting go of me with reluctance, stepping back to survey me with confusion and annoyance, "just, no killing, alright crazy boy? It's alright."

"Right," I said weakly, hardly noticing as we were bundled into the elevator.

Plush surroundings, cream walls and red carpet, paintings hanging on either wall. Huge elevator, could have fit twenty people in here no problem. Sliding doors on both sides, super shiny, could see myself perfectly. This whole place was an anomaly in it itself; it had been uninhabited for years yet still looked brand new. Those mirror like doors were especially well preserved…really like mirrors…

_-…Mirrors...hmm, just deja-vu or something, focus Ken.-_

Haggard, confused expression, eyes a little glazed, shaking slightly; headache. What a picture you make Ken Hidaka, a real cover model; well perhaps for "Mentally Insane Weekly", but other than that…

"It is a good plan Crawford," Omi said suddenly, his arms crossed and his eyes focused on one of the elaborate expressionist paintings, "but there is a major flaw. Won't they be able to figure out where we are rather quickly because of this, as you say, removal of ourselves from their timelines? There must be a limited number of places in Tokyo where that is possible ne? And as members of Esset they will have the same knowledge as you, they will know of everywhere in the city where this effect is possible. I also have a suspicion that they still have enough organised members to storm each one simultaneously giving us no room for using their search time. We also don't have any contact to the outside world anymore and so can't use telepathy to monitor their progress."

Silence. I was too busy holding myself upright at the moment however and was in no mood to talk tactics. It's not my strong point anyway, let Omi deal with it, he knows what he's doing. Still, he did have a point. As safe as Crawford had made this place sound it was suddenly seeming to have one major flaw that dwarfed all of its assets. It wouldn't take long for them to find out where we were, and then they would come for us full force. If Crawford was right and they did want to just eliminate us all, no taking prisoners, then they probably wouldn't have any qualms in sending their whole fucking army to kill us. They knew our weaknesses, our strengths, everything about us. We would be at their mercy if that happened, completely and utterly. Well, there wasn't much you could say to that was there? Of course not, but then Crawford was always a smartass of the first degree with his smartass answers…

"Thank you Bombay but I already had foreseen this eventuality," he said smoothly, his arms crossed and eyes fixed on his own reflection just as I had been doing, "that is why we won't be staying here long. I said it was the safest place to be at the moment, not that they wouldn't come looking for us here. Yet it is the only place we could have come where we can remain undetected for at least a couple of hours at the most, enough time to regroup our thoughts and our strategies; and finally set all things straight."

With those last words his eyes slipped purposefully to the reflection of the strangers. I felt a chill up my spine at the look. He did have a point however; the explanation they had given us back at the safe house, as little as I had caught of it, had been forced into a rough sketch by lack of time as we had fled. We still didn't really know who they were, what they were doing tagging along with us in the first place and even what their rough sketch had really meant. It had all seemed highly over the top and hard to understand, but then that may well have just been this dam headache…but then, had I even had this evil headache then? Damn it hurt like nothing else, not even when I cracked my head off that banister had it hurt this much. It felt like my brain was swelling from the inside and pushing against my skull, trapped with nowhere to go.

Ahhh…kuso.

The doors opened with a ping, most irritating when your brain feels like sliding out your ears and crawling into the tenth dimension. The sound of shuffling feet and the bumping of arms didn't help this any. I stumbled forwards, heading for the door, but then, suddenly…

"Wait, this is…Crawford!" and as Nagi spoke worriedly, so my mind spiralled away, making me incomparably dizzy for a moment, down into…

…fear. I was overcome, oh god, fear...thathorror!

Fear. It was pulsing through my mind, the pain gone in its insignificance compared to that, to that…

_…terror, pain, scared to death, trying to take, they were trying to take…held down, they were holding me down! I had to get out of here! Anything but this, anything, please.Shit, oh shit…help me! Someone!_

I opened my eyes and found myself in the lift again, not in that memory, not in that laboratory…laboratory?

What the hell?

What had I seen? I had never been there, in that memory; I had never been to such a place in my life, even on a mission…yet it had seemed so real, right there in my head, that overwhelming fear, overriding everything!

Then I realised something else. I was being pushed to the floor by Schuldich as he made a mad dash for the elevator panel. Crawford seemed to have foreseen this however and grabbed the back of his ripped jacket, holding him back and then using his superior strength to pull him back and get a drip on his shoulders. It was then that I noticed, absently, that his jacket was still heavily soaked in blood. Everyone stared in complete confusion. I even managed to ignore my headache in favour of bewilderment as I watched the two men struggle. Schuldich, he looked…panicked. Scratch that he looked more…

…Terrified. Really terrified.

Was that possible? I'd never seen that expression on any Schwarz before…he was always so cocksure, arrogant, cruel, not ever panicked and not in a million years ever terrified. Yet, how could I deny the living proof twisting and thrashing right before my eyes?

"God damn it Nagi help me!" Brad roared as he grappled with Schuldich's legs as the scrabbling man as he continued to strain for the elevator panel and the floor buttons, "I forgot!"

Forgot? Forgot what? What the hell was his problem!? Things were spiralling out of control at a vastly accelerated rate, I felt like just staying on the ground and never getting up; my insides had been turned in on themselves by that gut clenching fear. It was like, it was like it had come from absolutely nowhere, with no explanation. Yet as much of a mystery as it was I found it hard to concentrate on it my head was beginning to throb again now that the shock of it had worn off.

"Ken, Ken get up!" Omi was hissing at me, "We need to go."

I remained transfixed even as the others began to move off in a confused yet considerate stupor. The muttering of an unfamiliar voice reached my ears, my eyes stung with unshed tears.

"Come on," Yoji urged, "I don't think he meant for us to see that…"

See that? What did he mean? Had that been…wait, had that been Schuldich's memories in my head? That fear, it looked oddly like, like that something deep in his panicked eyes. That deep, suffocating pain that I could see as he strained to reach the buttons but was once more restrained. I guess he could have projected it right, if the feeling was that strong? Nagi looked just as confused as the rest of us, having a bit of trouble helping with the German himself. There was a more concerned air about him however, a feeling that he wasn't really supposed to be watching this…or that he felt that he wasn't entitled to, wasn't wanted. I was knocked from my thoughts as Crawford managed to finally pin him effectively enough, grunting with effort and panting a little; he looked up suddenly as if forgetting we were here as well, the sweat dulling his hair and making his forehead glisten, and barked out with a glare;

"What the fuck are you looking at? Get the hell out of here!"

No need to ask me twice. Omi grabbed me and pulled me along when I stumbled and even Nagi seemed to think it would be better if he left as well. Left Crawford and a snarling struggling Schuldich alone in the plush elevator and leave us outside in the…

…laboratory? It took me a moment to notice just which highly polished floor I was standing, within who's clinically white walls. There was a light buzzing at the distant end of the long wide laboratory and the metal beds looked hard and cold. I looked around me, at our new surroundings…this laboratory, was it what I thought it was? Form that memory, the one I had seen, the one that had caused so much fear only moments before…yes, yes this was it. Well then that kind of explained things. I saw that everyone else was looking around too, probably coming to the same conclusion as me. Well, what the fucking hell was going on here then eh? I wondered if everyone else's conclusions were as unsatisfactory as my own was.

With a sort of delayed reaction I turned to ask a question but Crawford was already, with great difficulty, closing the doors via the button on the panel. He then jumped up, his exhausted form of moments before seeming to vanish and melt into the usual controlled figure of Brad Crawford. The last thing I saw of them before the doors closed was Schuldich springing up, his face a mask of now well hidden terror, and receiving a heavy blow to the face for his efforts. Crawford sighed as his team mate barrelled backwards and out of sight past the closing doors.

Snap shut.

AN: Hmm, another secret eh? As if I don't have enough already, sigh! Hot damn but if Brad isn't just the biggest asshole, heh heh, I'm sure he could be worse (cough cough)…please R&R, feedback very welcome!


	25. Forgot but not Forgotten

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz or anything therein.

**Chapter 25**

**Forgot but not Forgotten **

There was silence then, after the doors slid shut and the staring eyes of the others were distinctly cut off from view. I closed my own eyes slowly, flexing my abused hand and breathing deeply through my nose to settle myself. I felt very isolated in this lift, nice and holed in. It felt safe, almost homely. Ha, as if anything really felt homely to me. However, I did of course associate this place with one of my greatest triumphs, one of my most successful ideas. The fact that I had not really thought about that when I decided to come here was a little disturbing, the fact that I had not remembered where I was going at all was just as bad. Not that I had ever known the name of this place when I was younger, but then that hadn't been the most important of things at the time. What was more important now was that my power had not sufficiently warned me of something like this happening.

The distinct click of a lighter forced me to open my eyes and watch the man sitting haphazardly against the papered interior of the lift, his sprawling legs rustling against the carpet as he repositioned himself and opened his own eyes lazily. His smirk was most infuriating, yet I had already known it was coming. Well, anyone who knew Schuldich as well as I did didn't actually need to be able to perceive the future to anticipate that expression creeping up onto his features, it was just a given.

"Well, well, well," he said slowly, relaxed, nursing the red mark on his chin, "haven't felt that in a lo-ong time. Well, what's it been? Nine years? I think that's about right."

"Ten years," I corrected him smoothly, my adrenaline high slowly receding even though I could still feel my eyes burning with the intensity of it.

"Right," he chuckled softly, pulling another long inhale from the disappearing cigarette and letting it out through his nose, "says the man who, how did you eloquently put it? "Forgot"?"

"Like I don't have better things to do than keep your tragic moments at the forefront of my mind," I smirked, giving him a cold glance and straitening out the wrinkles in my worse for wear cream suit.

There was silence then where I just watched the smoke drift before my eyes. Of course I had been distracted at the time, preoccupied when we got here and I most definitely did not think about Schuldich's worst memory every time I got the chance. Yet still, the much more worrying thing which had been creeping around my mind for some time now was that I had not seen this coming. My exclamation of forgetfulness had come out instinctually, not because it was the whole truth. I was startled that I had forgotten yes, yet only because I had not been notified of this by my power. It had only been as that fear, overriding fear, had tried desperately to invade my mind, immobilise my very thoughts and limbs with its intensity, that I had managed to grasp vainly at the future. It told me I had to jump for Schuldich before he did something rash, so I did.

Huh, my power. The only thing I have ever, even if only on occasion, obeyed blindly. A rare feat for a rare moment.

"It's automatic you know," he said, pulling me back to the real world to look down on him once more, "it's not as if I can help it. They programmed it in see?"

He tapped at his head with his free hand, his smirk still in place as his eyes sparkled with ironic humour. Irony for the fact that he knew that in this situation no one should be able to find anything funny and also, perhaps, for my own faltering thoughts. My own private scalding. Of course, nothing was private around Schuldich unless you hid it well. I wasn't hiding these thoughts with my usual efficiency, yet why this was I wasn't sure. Perhaps I just didn't care enough at this moment.

"Yeah, they made sure I couldn't come back here quite well don't you think? For a bunch of amateurs I mean," his eyelids drooped heavily as he stubbed the cigarette out into the carpet, grinding it into the plush red with lazy movements, "was able to dismantle most of their "brainwashing" within a month. Hopeless really."

"Obviously not quite hopeless enough to disable you when it mattered however," I said back with a derisive snort, "what is the trigger then? Smell? Sound..?"

"Sight," he bit out, my insult obviously scratching his veneer of arrogance, "if I see it, I am suddenly wonderfully transported right back to that one time in my memories, alright? Of course, if I had never felt that feeling that I had then, if it had never come down to that in the first place then they would never have had something to use against me. I never have felt fear like that since though…perhaps it is because of the way I paid them back, ne Crawford?"

His smirk was most defiantly full blown now, his eyes sparkling with the memory of what he had done to those Esset agents who had tried to, how did Schuldich put it? Tried to "steal his mind". In more common speak that is trying to brainwash him into forgetting everything, wiping the slate of his memories completely clean. How any of them couldn't have seen that he was much too powerful for that sort of procedure is beyond me. How the pre-cogs in the vicinity hadn't seen it coming was also a bit of a shock to me, well, that was before it became more of an eye opener. Something to show me just powerful I had become compared to my peers. Oh I had seen it coming alright, I had practically engineered the whole thing myself, for once in my life taking a slight risk in giving up the one I myself had brought to Rosenkreuz in the first place.

"_He is not performing."_

_The Base Commander before me frowned and rubbed his temples in agitation. This was the fourth time this week I had come to complain about my little redhead companion and I think it was taking its toll on his nerves. I stood my ground however, never one to be intimidated. Not that I was feeling intimidated at that moment however, I knew exactly what he was going to say before he said it himself._

"_Must I remind you that this is your pet project Crawford? If something goes wrong with this one, then it will come down to your lack of skill to teach, your lack of skill to lead. Do you want to have your own field team by the time you graduate from here or not?"_

"_Must I remind you that it was you Commander who gave me permission to start this project? I'm not sure that lack of foresight is really something that would show up well on the track record of one of the bases finest pre-cogs."_

_He stiffened at that, anger flaring behind his eyes. He had seen it coming, of course, but still it did not fail to anger him, hearing the words coming from my mouth. It was strange, how visions and scraps of the future themselves were still, even though powerful, nothing compared to the real thing happening before your eyes. I stood straight and strong, my shoulders squared and my face completely relaxed. The outcome of this conversation would go my way and my way only. I would have what I wanted._

"_Then what Crawford? You really want me to send him to Re-hab? That is, as I know you know, the only option left for him if he can't perform the way he should."_

"_I know," I said back with a look of feigned sympathy, "yet it seems the only choice for me; and for you of course."_

"_Don't threaten me boy," he said after a pause, his voice low and a smirk on his face._

"_I don't threaten anyone," I said back with an ingratiating smile, "I don't need to."_

_He laughed at that, hard and long. I just sat and watched him, waiting for him to calm and give me the answer I knew he would. He looked back at me, his square jaw and blonde hair rather striking against the white, curving lines of his office. His grin was malicious as he watched me, even if that malice wasn't actually directed at me. I knew well fine that Schuldich annoyed the seven hells out of him._

"_You'll do just fine Crawford, just fine," he smirked, snorting as he pulled open a drawer in his mahogany desk and rummaged through the paperwork inside it, "I can give you permission to release him to Re-hab and then I can find you a new student. I have high hopes for you Crawford, don't let me down by spoiling it."_

"_No sir," I said with an introspective glance down at the paper he was now scribbling on._

"_Not that I'll be sad to see the little bastard go," he continued to smirk as he flourished his signature on the bottom of the cream coloured form, "more trouble than he's worth if you ask me. The uncontrollable ones are always the most ineffective in field work, no matter how strong their power itself is. You must learn to control if you wish to lead."_

_His last words stuck in my mind, as did the knowing twist to his smirk and the significant look he gave me as he handed me the completed form. I knew then that he knew, that he knew what I was up to and that he obviously agreed. But, of course he did. However, I had always been a favourite of his, and there was really nothing wrong with that in a lot of ways. Privileges came to those closer to the top._

"_Thank you sir," I said with a nod as I took the paper in my steady grip and marvelled at the rich quality of its thickness and its texture, "am I to believe that I will be allowed to accompany him to Osaka for the treatment?"_

"_Yes I can arrange that; anyway I wouldn't have thought you would want to stay behind. I would rather that you went actually, it'll be good training for you," he said with a slightly far off look, "I'll look out someone else for you while you're away. You might even meet some influential characters while you're there, if you know what I mean."_

"_Yes sir," I said with a nod, waiting for his nod in return before I turned and strode out of the office, my mind alive with the thought of success._

"Well, I mean was I really that bad?" his eyes sparkled emerald and blue as he watched me, his face instinctually feigning disbelief.

"Oh, you were "that bad"," I smirked, walking to the other side of the elevator and sitting down on the carpet, settling against the wall much the same as he was doing opposite me, "only I made you even more bad."

"Hmm, I think you just weren't patient enough myself," he mused, watching the trapped remnants of the smoke swirl above him, "I'm sure I would have come into my own in time. I was only twelve at them time, incase you don't remember that either."

"Yes and I was seventeen, and I only had two years left until graduation. Your progress was not fast enough for Esset," I said back with a look that reminded him of what would have happened had I not done what I had done, "and not fast enough for me either."

"Heh, well I have to admit things were a lot more fun after that," he let his head fall back against the wall, his eyes falling shut once more, "not really sure what was holding me back before it happened."

"Snapped you out of it though," I said taking off my glasses and polishing them on my sleeve, "whatever it was."

"Yeah," he snorted, "guess I have to thank the poor bastards for that eh? But then, I think my thank you back then was much more fitting."

I just nodded, letting my mind drift as I remembered the past once more. It was as if I couldn't help myself, as if my mind was once more being drawn to that time, those distinct yet deeply buried moments in time. As I said before I did not feel it necessary to think of them often, but the situation now seemed to call for remembrance of all details. It washed over me, the memory, blanking out the sound of Schuldich's voice as he spoke quietly, the soft light of the elevator and even the smell of the smoke in the air.

_The plane was small and narrow inside, two rows of twin seats lining either side of the thin metal hull. The small windows were dark in comparison to the bright lighting inside the plane itself. The sun had set an hour ago, just after we had stopped over in Shanghai to pick up another two passengers. It wouldn't be long before we arrived in Osaka. Schuldich was seated beside the window, next to myself, in the fifth seat back on the right hand side. Our guests were on the right only two seats back. Yet, even at this distance apart, Schuldich could not seem to keep himself to himself. He did however find it extremely easy to become bored._

"_Crawford, would you mind controlling your pet a little more until we arrive?"_

_One of the two that had boarded at Shanghai was a man named Genere, I had known him from Rosenkreuz. He was a tall man, about six feet two, dark hair, in his mid thirties; he was also a pyrokinetic, a powerful one. He had been transferred three months ago to the Shanghai base, but we had worked in training together. He knew me well enough to call me by my name. _

"_Quit it you little freak!"_

_The other was obviously his subordinate, en route to the same destination and the same fate as my little red haired companion. He was visibly shaken and couldn't seem to take his eyes from the humoured emerald ones staring at him from across the cabin. He was small, about fifteen by the looks of things, and nervous. I didn't know his power but it didn't seem that strong to me._

"_Stop it Schuldich," I said absently, looking at the small boy to my left, his face the perfect mask of humorous cruelty._

_He looked up at me from his haven in the large flight chair, its bulky plush arm rests and elongated back dwarfing him. His hair was down to his shoulders, his clothes the same blue as my own; t-shirt, jacket thrown carelessly over the chair back, light coloured jeans. Civilian wear as we liked to call it. He shrugged casually, his eyes twinkling, before turning his head to look out of the window. He rested his head on his small hand and hummed annoyingly. I sighed, hearing a twin sigh from across the cabin. Genere's little pet was looking a lot less strained, his eyes scrunched tight with the remnants of the headache I was sure Schuldich had been giving him. Genere himself only nodded to me, a knowing smile on his lips. I looked back down to my work and tried my best to ignore the world in general._

"_I won't do it you know," he said suddenly, muffled against his palm, "you know no one can make me do what I don't want to. Not even you Crawford."_

"_Oh I know that," I said coolly, inspecting some reports and files of other hopefuls in Rosenkreuz that the Base Commander had brought me before I left, "I don't expect you to. You'll do this of your own free will, believe me."_

_Silence. _

"_So you're taking me to be dealt with hmm?" he said after a moment more._

"_Take that information from his mind while you were torturing him did you?" I said with feigned interest, nodding to the one he'd been tormenting as I scanned down a long list of statistics; I already knew the answer._

"_Naturally," he said with another shrug, kicking the chair in front of him with a rhythmical motion, "why didn't you say so before?"_

"_It wasn't a secret," I said with a raise of one eyebrow, looking over to him out of the corner of my eye, "I just didn't think it necessary to inform you."_

"_Oh, lovely, thanks," he drawled sarcastically, "and here I was thinking you were just taking me on holiday."_

_I snorted a half laugh. Of course I could control him, there was no doubt about that. He seemed to obey me on a whim of his own, making it look like he didn't want to while he was doing what I asked, and all at the same time. He was an anomaly, that's why I liked him; that and the reason that he was extremely powerful, even if he didn't utilise that power to its full extent. I could sort that however. _

_I put down the reports on the fold out table in front of me, taking a drink of the bottled water which sat solidly in its holder before settling back into my chair. He continued to hum to himself, some old folk tune that he seemed quite fond of; one of the few things consistent in him since we'd met, that tune and his sarcasm. It wasn't long after I realised this that I fell asleep. _

"Earth to Crawford," the voice seemed even slightly annoyed, completely different to the one in my memories, "quit re-living over there and listen to me."

"It was all necessary," I said softly, wondering why I was justifying my actions, and whether it was really Schuldich I was justifying them to; I opened my eyes and pulled myself back to reality, "and like you said, it wasn't as if it was all that bad anyway; well, the end result that is."

"Yeah, whatever, can we go now?" he said in surly tones, pushing himself up against the wall and wincing ever so slightly as he noticed the bruises that were probably starting to form right about now, "Hell Crawford, was this all really necessary? Shit you would have thought I was trying to kill you or something. And by the way, did you really feel it was essential that you crack your fist into my face?"

"You might have done something…rash," I smirked, "and since when do you think you have the right to start questioning me?"

"Since you said "I forgot" actually," he said moving towards the control panel but still hesitating before pushing the button to open the doors.

"Well don't bother doing it again," I said as I too stood, smoothing out my suit once more and pushing my glasses back onto my face, "How exactly do you propose we get through this alive then? You can't go in there and I won't leave you in the elevator alone."

"Gosh Brad I never knew you cared," he said, batting his eyelashes and making me scowl.

"Don't call me Brad, Schuldich," I warned as I walked towards the unopened doors, "I don't really care how we do it. I can strap you down to one of those tables if that's what it takes, but I'm not leaving you in here on your own."

"On my…own, wait," he said with a thoughtful look, his brown furrowing, "is this to do with your vision? Or have you seen something else? It doesn't sound like your doing this out of caring for my health."

Another reason I had always liked Schuldich, he's extremely astute. Although, even though it was a good thing, it could crop up at the most inconvenient of times.

"It's something to do with not being alone isn't it, about us not being alone?" he ventured with a look of deep thought, "Is that why you let them come with us, those strangers?"

"I have seen something else yes," I decided to confide, knowing he'd never leave me alone if I didn't, "but it was very brief. All I learned from it is that we can't be separated, can't be too far apart; exactly who being separated from whom I am not sure of, so I'm keeping us all together. I don't want anything unexpected happening."

"Unexpected," he grunted with a smirk, "didn't know that word was in your vocabulary Crawford."

"There is no time for speculation," I said, ignoring his comment, "how are we going to control this?"

"Well that one's easy," he said leaning back against the wall once more, arms folded arrogantly, "I've already managed to disable almost all of the "brainwashing" or whatever they liked to call it, and the only thing I've had difficulty with is the optic reaction. It's different from the other traps, done by someone much more professional than the others. Don't know who though, and considering it has never been a necessity to get rid of it I haven't been focusing on it lately. It's kind of a project if you get me, you now how much I hate to have others booby traps in my mind."

"Yes I know," I said with a sigh, "but you still haven't explained yourself."

"Oh come on Crawford it isn't that hard to figure out," he grinned to himself, enjoying my offended frown, "I keep my eyes closed till we're somewhere that doesn't trigger anything."

"What?" I scoffed, "That's your plan?"

"Oh come on, you have a better one?" he flared, "Look, I have it narrowed down to a small area just around the laboratory. If I can get somewhere else in the building I'll be fine. I mean you didn't see me go crazy in the basement did you? Don't underestimate me Crawford, it's insulting."

"Fine," I sighed, ignoring him for a moment as I thought of how to work this, "Fine, you keep your eyes closed and we'll lead you through the building until you can tell when it's not affecting you anymore. Agreed?"

"Agreed," he said with a nod, pushing the door button finally and closing his eyes tightly, "just don't let anyone trip me up."

AN: Woops, forgot to tell you what actually happened back there…but then that's just my vindictive streak running into my writing again, sorry. I'll let you know later, don't worry about it. And sorry if it seems like I'm slipping off the RanKen side of things, I'll get there!

PS: Thanks again to my reviewers! You lovely people! Thanks to Heather R for the support, hope that the little snippet of RanKen in the last chapter was enough to satisfy you for now! I'll give you more soon, promise!

And to Kazz, yes computers are a bitch, I wholly agree. But I'm glad you like it, as for the grammar well, I'm both a fast writer and I'm lazy. My bad, but I try, really!


	26. The fated destiny of the inescapable fut...

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kruez or any of its contents so don't sue me for my meagre wealth (entirely a waste of time I assure you!)

**Chapter 26**

  
**The fated destiny of the inescapable future**

The mirror seemed to materialise, the surface rippling like a wide ocean in a grain of sand.

I watched, fascinated as the figure behind me clutched only tighter, his face buried into my neck as I stared forwards and watched my other self smile cruelly.

It took me a moment to realise that the figure behind my mirror image was changing too. It took me only a split second however to recognise the small, frail looking girl who was now hanging around my doppelgangers neck.

It had been a lifetime.

"Aya…"

I had been her lifetime.

"…it's really you."

It was really her. I could see her. I could…if I could just reach out and touch her…

"I'm…so sorry…"

Couldn't move my hands, couldn't make my legs take one step towards that wavering figure in that pure white dress.

"Please, don't look at me like that…"

God, just let me touch her, please, she has to be real…please…

"…I can't stand it Aya, don't, I'm warning you…"

Can't move, why can't I…god damn it! Where the hell am I? Why are we here Aya, why can't we just run away, away from everything…

"…Don't look at me like that!"

* * *

"Ken are you sure you're alright?"

He looked so pale, like he had seen a ghost or something.

"I said yes Omi now will you drop it?"

Oh come on, when did I ever just "drop it"…

"Just sit down will you," I said with a concerned frown, "please?"

He complied, slumping into one of the chairs we had found in this new room. It was some sort of lounge, high ceilings and large arm chairs with small glass tables in between them. The roof lights hadn't worked at first when we had tried them, but for some reason Crawford had decided that this was where we were going to stay. No arguing with him that man, no matter how I tried all my techniques against his own. He was a precognitive however, making things increasingly difficult to battle.

I didn't want to be here, neither did Ken and neither did Yoji; it was as simple as that. This was madness, pure and simple, everything had gone downhill after…after Aya had died. It was…it had been so unexpected. No one knew what was going on, no one knew where to turn, who the enemies were, who there was to trust; even amongst friends. And then they had turned up, and I wasn't sure what to make of them either, everything had been happening so fast I just got swept along like everyone else. Still, even though Schwartz had been playing nice up until now…we hadn't been acquainted with their "new incarnation" for very long and, to be frank, I don't think I would have trusted them even if we had been together for ten years. Some things were unforgivable, unforgettable. Some people…didn't deserve a second chance. And on another point I didn't believe Crawford's story, or more precisely I knew that he was leaving out something very important. Crawford, I had learned in the past, along with the rest of Schwartz, liked to horde his secrets.

The table lamps had lit up the room fine, leaving the ceiling dull but the rest of the room bright enough. The sky was dark though the tall windows, stars shining ominously in the sky; we had quickly covered them with heavy curtains first of all, never could be too careful. Best to be enclosed, shutoff from the world you're trying to hide from, especially when you feel like eyes are watching you wherever you go. I would have preferred a room with no windows at all, but then Crawford had insisted…

The young brunette Yami sat on a low black leather couch with his tall friend, Tatsuha I think, and looked at his palms intently. The taller ones face was stony and rivalled any gaze that fell upon him until it was diverted. I didn't trust them either, well why should I? This was no time to be trusting anyone, especially not before I had my facts straight, or even got my facts in the first place for that matter.

"Sit down Omi, you're making me nervous," Ken growled out over his shoulder.

I nodded tightly, feeling a little…trapped I suppose is the best word for it. Crawford had disappeared to the darker end of the room and deposited the telepath onto a couch. He had said he couldn't stand sitting anywhere near the "inexperienced assholes who can't keep their minds quiet". Huh, he could talk, he was the one who never shut up. Perhaps we should have made him sit here as penance. I still didn't know why we had been transported to this room, or why the telepath had been walking with his eyes closed the entire way, muttering curses when he tripped and keeping a firm grip on Crawford's arm as he was guided. I had only received stony glares in response to my questions, and sometimes completely ignored as I demanded to know what was going on. Not that I really cared what was up with the red headed idiot but still, I didn't like to be left in the dark, especially at times like these.

"So," I turned to watch Nagi as he spoke, his eyes focusing on something that I couldn't see as he took a chair across from me in the small circle that they formed, "what now?"

There was a soft silence where everyone refused to look at anyone else. Ken brought his feet up into his chair and curled in on himself, closing his eyes and resting his head on his knees. Yami seemed to move closer to his counterpart, his hands twisting around each other in his lap. Yoji didn't even seem to be paying attention at all; his elbow on his armrest and his chin in his hand he stared absently over towards the closed windows and the couch where our absent party member lay. I opened my mouth to rouse him but was interrupted almost immediately. Crawford had returned to the circle and had taken the chair facing the two strangers on their couch. He spoke as he sat his movements fluid and unconcerned.

"We talk," his voice was as severe as his gaze as he looked at each of us in turn, "things need to be straightened out before we can proceed any further."

"Well," I said with a sigh, folding my hands on my knees and leaning forwards, eyes coming up to focus on him, "how about we start with Schwartz. I want to know why you're really here, all of it, no secrets."

"Oh, I have an even better idea than that," Crawford replied shaking his head and pointing straight in front of him, "how about we start with them?"

I blinked and followed his finger, looking over to look where everyone else was now staring. The young brunette blinked, his shoulder length dark hair shimmering delicately as he looked from face to face, his eyes innocent and confused.

"U-Us?" he stuttered as if he couldn't comprehend exactly why we would want to be doing that.

"Didn't your mother teach you that it's rude to point?" Tatsuha's eyes hadn't looked so dangerous since we had questioned him earlier and there was something in their icy depths that made you want to quail; his question could almost be taken entirely seriously with him staring at you like that.

Crawford, being Crawford, just smirked and lowered his hand back onto his chair arm. He cocked his head and levelled his gaze with the blonde's protective stare.

"Didn't yours tell you it was rude to turn up at other peoples houses in the middle of the night and crash their party?" he moved a little to get more comfortable before looking back to the newcomers, "I think I can safely speak for everyone here when I ask…what exactly you think you're doing here and what do you hope to gain by it?"

Yami seemed to swallow hard at that statement, shuffling even closer to Tatsuha. I could see in his eyes that he was scared, but whether it was by the thought of being abandoned by the group to face the danger on their own that brought about this fear or whether it was the prospect of answering questions…I couldn't be too sure. Tatsuha's gaze didn't waver and Yami looked evasive. There was no answer forthcoming.

"I ask you again," Crawford said, his smirk gone now as he reached up to remove his glasses, not breaking eye contact as if seeing it as some sort of challenge not to be backed down from, "why are you here?"

"We.." Yami's strained voice emitted the word as more of a squeak, making the boy stall in his sentence to clear his throat before continuing, "..we, we are going to be hunted by those people who are after you now too."

"Oh really," Crawford said facetiously, making me want to butt in right then and take over the interrogation out of pure instinct, "and why would that be exactly?"

"We saved him…" Yami pointed over his shoulder quickly without even looking where he was putting his hand and barely avoiding hitting his friend in the face; Tatsuha however, seeming used to theses sorts of outbursts, had already dodges to the side without even so much as blinking, "…and so they followed us when we brought him back to you. They'll be after us now too."

He seemed quite pleased with his explanation as he brought his hand back and set it once more in his lap, no longer wringing his hands. Tatsuha sighed in what could only be described as wistful embarrassment and returned to his original position. Crawford just replaced his glasses, after polishing them on his suit, and continued.

"And why exactly _did_ you save him? Seems a big risk for a child to save someone he had barely met under such circumstances as a fire fight with a company such as Esset, and putting his friends in danger too by doing so…"

Another silence; Yami's hands seemed to go into overdrive so that it looked more like he had a writhing bundle of snakes in his lap. I could have sworn that Tatsuha growled somewhere deep in his throat before he countered Crawford's brazen statement.

"Why don't you just keep your forked tongue behind your teeth," he said in a low voice, "and listen to your answers before asking the next question."

"Oh I've listened," Crawford replied, making an offhand gesture of displeasure, "and it was not exactly satisfactory, or the truth for that matter. You know what I want to hear and it was not that."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" the blonde practically spat.

"He means we want the truth and we haven't much time to hear it in," I finally interjected, tuning heads with my sudden statement, "so please, just tell us exactly why you saved that man and why you brought him back to us."

"It's not…" Tatsuha seemed to deflate almost, sighing and looking down to the small glass table in front of him, his hand moving up lethargically to pull his hair from his face, "..as easy to explain as it would seem."

"Indulge us," Crawford said back coldly.

"I see," the blonde said back, his head slightly bowed and his mouth almost smiling, "it must be time."

Tatsuha pulled his hand from his hair and focused on Crawford once more, the errant strands refusing to obey him without the aid of a hair tie simply falling back to shroud his eyes. He flicked his head back swiftly creating a whirlwind of blonde strands and then waited for them to settle on his back. His eyes, when they came back into view, seemed distant, looking far off to somewhere so completely removed from this room that…

"Do you know of the meaning of the word Eridae?" he said, still looking off, his eyes pointing towards the ceiling, lost in thought as if in some sort of trance almost, "It was discovered approximately thirty years ago by a German scientist named Henrich Faxon on a remote island to the south of Osaka."

"Is this to be a history lesson or an explanation?" Crawford snapped, his eyes slitting in displeasure.

"On that island, deep under the ground, he found an ancient tomb like no other in his travels of the cultural ruins of Japan," the blonde continued, ignoring not only Crawford but the whole room, "a large dome shaped antechamber with crumbling roof and painted walls of silver and gold. Even though underground a light seemed to exist inside it, the world itself dissolving away when he stepped inside and a new universe seeming to arrive out of thin air."

"W-what are you talking about?" Yoji, whose attention seemed to have been drawn back by the sudden change in the atmosphere, his eyes fixed on the blonde as everyone else's were, "Is this some kind of joke? You're not making any sense!"

"But the wonder of that room was not the reason for his joy, his elation, his discovery. It was the parchment, the scroll hidden delicately in the ivory case which lay haphazardly on the floor at the centre of the room itself. That parchment which, when deciphered, could lead to the fate of this world itself."

"That's all very well," Crawford said, standing from his chair and placing a hand on his hip, the other flat out in front of him, palm up in a show of questioning, "but what the hell do you think this has to do with my question? I asked you to answer me fast and instead you give me more of this mystical bullshit! I don't want to hear about it; what I want is you to give me a reason not to kill you right here!"

His gun was drawn and aimed in a second flat, Yami jumping to the side and taking hold of Tatsuha's arm while the other only refocused his eyes and looked to the gun pointed at him. Then, of all the things he could have done while staring down the barrel of a known killer, he smiled.

"In that scripture," he said softly, his eyes still dreamy even though more focused, "the one word that occurred most frequently was the word "Eridae"; it occurred two hundred and seventy times in one single scripture of only two thousand words. It was a central part, a central part of the mystery that captured that mans soul, that captured his mind and his devotion and his very will itself. He had to know what it was, what this scripture pertained to, for the word Eridae, he discovered not to long after, translated to the word "fate"."

"Fate?" I asked, "Are you trying to tell us that our situation is linked to that discovery? But how, and what does it even mean?"

"This word, Eridae, when written in its native tongue," he continued, turning to look at me now with those cold eyes, so lost in memory, "was so fascinating to him even before he knew what it meant. This was of course because it greatly resembled a character from his own native tongue. A straight back with two delicate curving extremities which stopped at the middle of the beginning line. The symbol of "esset" from the Deutch alphabet, that is what the word Eridae resembled."

"Esset?" Farferello, who up until now ha been so quiet that I had almost forgotten his existence, "This man, how is he linked to Esset?"

"He was the one, did you not know?" Tatsuha looked to the pale man in the corner seat, his eyes narrowing in suspicion while he tried to calm his partner down, "He saw it as fate before he even knew of the words meaning. He bent his life's work, staked his career on learning the secrets of this scroll and its properties. He covered the hidden temple back over and kept its whereabouts a secret. He formed his research group into an organisation, recruiting all who had any knowledge of this scripture, of its meaning, any link he could see between the candidates who presented themselves and this one word. Eridae. By the time of his death only twenty three years ago he had created one of the single greatest globe spanning corporations the world had ever seen."

It…couldn't be. All of this, was this the history of…

"…Esset," Crawford said, nodding slowly, his gun lowering slightly but not completely, "I knew that I recognised that story. Henrich Faxon, or to us The Founder. We were never told his name, but we knew scraps of the history, whatever was passed down. But…how the hell do you know all of this? You sound like you're reciting out of a book! Who taught all of this to you, who else knew our history in such detail?"

"My master is…was a wise man. He passed on his knowledge to me as he did with his charge," his eyes wondered to the floor, his hand sliding carefully over Yami's trembling one, "and I was sworn only to reveal things when the time is right."

"The time..? What time? What are you talking about, is this some sort of hoax?" Yoji looked more angry than confused, his eyes flaming and dark, "This is all just a pile of shit! Give him as little credit as you like but Crawford was right when he said he spoke for all of us when he asked his question. We want to know why you're here and instead you try and confuse us and distract us! I want an answer and I want it straight down the line and in easy simple terms. I don't want ay margin for error you understand?"

"I can only divulge my master's secrets when the time is right," Tatsuha's glare didn't even seem to faze Yoji as it settled on him, "and now is not the time to answer your question. You will have to wait, or the balance will become undone and everything will fall."

"Look here mister high and mighty I'm in no mood to play your games okay! Just tell us what we want to know or I'll shoot you myself!"

"Yoji-kun please!" I interjected, alarmed by his uncharacteristically angry temperament, "Calm down or we'll get nowhere with this."

"Calm down? What's the point of being calm at a time like this? I thought I wouldn't have to remind you Omi that it's one of our own who's M.I.A. Have you even thought about him since he left, since he turned against us..!"

"Of course I have how can you ask me that?" I suddenly burst, "Do you think I'm that heartless? Do you think me as uncaring as you've shown yourself by even asking that?"

I don't know what happened but it happened very quickly and suddenly. One moment I was the centre of calm, the next…I was both furious and depressed all at once. Just the thought, the thought of Ran and those heartless eyes pinning me to the wall as I aimed my crossbow and tried to…kill him. God, I had never felt like that, not even when I found out about Takatori, not even when Ouka…

They hadn't been my family, they never had been. Abandoned and alone, that's what sprang to mind when I thought of them; they were different from Weiss. They had left me broken, Weiss and Kritiker had picked up the pieces and made me whole again; well as whole as someone without a real heart can be. I tried to be strong, I tried to be the calm one, the knowing centre of the group, the one who always knew what to do but…but this was different now! When I found out about Takatori I could only recover because I knew that in the long run they did not mean as much to me as they should, as much to me as Weiss did. They were my real family, but Weis were my true family; as much as Ran's personality shunned him from showing his affection to anyone but his sister I still knew that…he cared for me. He cared for all of us.

And the thought of killing him, the thought of his trying to kill us…it was killing me. And I, the pillar of strength, had flaws too. I could crumble just as easily as the next person. I had cried before yes, I had relied upon others yes, but in a frantic situation I could always be counted upon. I did not blow up at comments like this, I did not blow up at team members when I knew that they didn't mean what they were saying, when they were under just as much stress as I was…

"Fine! If that's the way you want to have it then talk this one out on your own!" Yoji pushed up violently from his chair and stormed off towards the dark couch where the German lay, his boot heels clicking on the polished floor as the white cross on his back flickered out like a candle and was replaced by a shifting shadow behind the fake ferns blocking my view.

The silence that followed was terrible and very, very still. I could feel Ken's deep breathing to my left and knew that he was asleep, probably had been for a long time.

I fell back into my chair and forced my face into neutrality. I had to focus, I was the only one here who could concentrate on the larger picture, I was the only one who could get us through this, get Ran back and keep Ken safe and Yoji…yet still, without a base to stand upon, even the sturdiest of pillars can fall.

"Perhaps…" I said softly, flicking my eyes to the floor, "perhaps we are simply asking the wrong questions."

"Wise words," Tatsuha seemed to smile in his eyes even if his mouth did not reflect it, "but first I suggest a different path of questioning. Firstly, how we intend to evade Esset.

"It seems almost impossible doesn't it?" Farferello said from his chair, his eyes as ponderous as his expression, "considering the facilities and staff they have at their disposal, all over Japan."

"Not entirely true," Crawford said, slowly lowering his gun in a silent submission to the new line of questioning, ignoring Yami's relief as he sat back down in his chair and looked to the Irishman to his right, "thankfully Esset are not entirely united at this present time. The failed, or supposedly failed resurrection of The One God has sent them into a disarray that will take time to recover from. We can take that as our only blessing, along with the fact that this may split the separate Esset factions right down the middle or even into groups. New allegiances are going to be forged between old and new allies. It won't be the same as before, we won't be able to rely on that perception any longer."

"But what I think we need to learn more about," I said, focusing my eyes back onto the pair on the couch, "is this scroll and what you think it means in relation to us. I don't want any more mystery, no more complicated verses, I want it plain and simple. This is our lives we're staking on believing you, on even having you here, and I for one will not stake my own life or those of the people I care about on a collection of riddles."

My gaze stalled however when my eyes fell on the young brunette. My mouth stilled and my breath caught in my throat. Yami was staring me right in the eyes and his look…

_He looked at me as if to say…_-

I started. Well…well his eyes were, they seemed to be...looking right through me. I shook myself and looked away from him. There was something about that boy, something that wasn't quite right. Hard to put my finger on it. Ha, well look at me, who exactly am I calling boy? He must be at least two years older than me for crying out loud, but then…perhaps it was just the way he acted, his childish mannerisms and his childlike face that made him seem young to even me. However, it didn't take a genius to see that there was intelligence in those eyes, intelligence that betrayed his mask of ineffectual naivety. Tatsuha's mask in turn was not exactly foolproof. It looked like neither of them were exactly what they seemed. I looked back up and locked my gaze once more with his own.

_…as if to say that everything was going to be alright._-

Authors Notes: the only true insight into the disturbed mind who concocted this bizarre story! Heh heh, lost yet? Err, if you're not then I'm obviously not doing my job well enough…but I'm sure you'll figure it out…right! So please R&R!


	27. Window to the Soul

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss. Hnnrrrrrr……..

Warnings: Err, swearing, if that offends you (I don't think I put a warning on any of the other chapters for swearing but then I've spent so much time on this chapter I thought I'd better do it propoerly or it would come back to haunt me...)

**Chapter 27**

**Window to the Soul**

****

That…that stupid kid! What the hell kind of thing was that to say to me? Of course I cared, of course I did…what did he think he knew about my feelings anyway! Damn I was angry, stuff that I was furious and I would have been shouting and ranting my head off if the situation hadn't called for justa little more tact. Ha, tact, when wasI ever worried about that? God, this was all so...just so…fucked up.

I just had to get away, anywhere but near to all that, aggravation.

I had to get away from them…but then, go to what..?

Strangely enough this side of the room, even though only thirty feet from the tumbled imbroglio of chairs and light, seemed exceedingly quiet. I wondered absently if he was asleep. There was no sound of snoring or deep breathing though, and as I stood between the over large fake fern and a convoluted glass statue that could only of ended up in an Esset base, I felt myself hesitate. I mean, I had only come over here to get away but, inexplicably I had brought myself back to another problem. Damn, this wasn't one of those subconscious things was it? This was stupid, why would I even want to talk to him anyway? I mean, it's not like he had anything I needed…

…I didn't need to know why he had done it, I didn't even care when it came down to it, but…but then, if I didn't find out, it was going to nag at me all night and I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that the person who knew the answer was right there with the answer in his head. Damn you subconscious.

"Are you going to stand there all day? You're indecision is giving me a migraine."

I started, almost guiltily, as his voice broke the calm air. I felt strangely like I was intruding on something, that this was something that I shouldn't be witnessing and that, for all intents and purposes, I shouldn't be here. There was a bad feeling in the air, like the atmosphere itself was tangible. As I stepped past the barrier like foliage I could almost feel the shadows here throwing me dirty looks as I walked across the floor as if on egg shells. It was the feeling of death, that feeling oddly like loss. I tried to ignore it, ignoring the part of myself that wanted my feet to turn around and go back to my seat. In my head I started to wonder if having this feeling of hollow failure pervade me was any better than the feeling of aggravation I had just left.

It was an easy decision in the end.

The chair to the left of the couch squeaked far too loudly for its own good as I sat down. I felt myself curse mentally at being to bloody paranoid and cowardly, wondering to myself why the hell I was acting this way in the first place. I mean hell it was only Schuldich, and heck he was still recovering from a near fatal bullet wound and…I'm going to shut up now because I'm rambling. To put it bluntly I was being an idiot. This whole situation in itself was ludicrous however, so I guess I did have an excuse. In the long run I didn't want to think about it, it was all far too convoluted to start unravelling yet, even though this was probably the prime moment to start doing so; I wasn't given the chance to even consider starting however…

"What, is the place on fire or something?" his soft voice belayed his sarcasm.

"Huh…what are you talking about now?" I asked in confusion, wishing he would just shut up and let me think.

"That's the only reason I can think of that's good enough to let you come anywhere near me right now," he sighed out, rolling slightly to his side to look at me, "If it's not urgent then you can just get the hell back to where you came from."

"Charming," I drawled back, "and what exactly gave you the impression I came over here to talk to you anyway?"

"Oh you know," he shrugged lightly, "just something to do with the fact that I can read your mind or something. Guess that little fact helped."

I felt my fists tightening into balls. Damn, damn, damn it all. I didn't want to have this conversation but…but I couldn't not have it either. I both needed to know and didn't want to know and couldn't care less and cared too much all at the same time. My head almost began to hurt merely at the thought. Well fine, you know what if he wanted me to ask then I would and in return he would give me my answer, fair and square.

"So what exactly…" however I found myself stopping, trailing off slowly, letting the air dwindle on my tongue; I seemed to be starting a lot of things today I couldn't finish.

I just let the words drift away, leaving a heavy absence of sound in their wake. He rolled back over again, breaking his eyes away from me, lying once more on his back. Schuldich was deadly still apart from that lone motion, his movements hardly seeming to move him at all and his gestures sluggish and uncaring, his eyes slightly dreamy and almost…sad, if that was really the right word to describe his gaze. Perhaps more...lost. His arms were wrapped protectively around his torso where the bandages seemed a stark white against his tanned skin. His shirt lay loosely around his chest, not having been bothered to button it up since we had run, and his bandanna long since gone. His long red hair, as it lay draped over the edge of the cushion, was like a spill of blood against the dark black leather. Yet, the way the Schwartz laid there, that slightly unfocused look in his eyes, it, well, reminded me of the time we had brought Aya home after his sister...no, I meant Ran, but then to me he'd always be Aya. I'd given him that name, and I don't think I'd ever really call him anything else. Yet he definitely reminded me of Aya, that same sort of look, the same posture…but then no matter how desolate Schuldich's expression seemed at the moment, it was nothing compared to the complete emptiness that had been in Aya's eyes when he had lain in that same way back at the safe house. I wasn't even sure why Schuldich should be looking like that, there wasn't really anything wrong now that his wounds were bandaged up and he was healing, so…

…so wh was he looking at the ceiling as if it wasn't there?

* * *

Asshole.

"_Well don't bother doing it again," he said as he stood, smoothing out his suit and fiddling with his glasses, "how exactly do you propose we get through this alive then? You can't go in there and I won't leave you in the elevator alone."_

"_Gosh Brad I never knew you cared," I said, batting my eyelashes and making him scowl rather satisfactorily._

"_Don't call me Brad, Schuldich," he warned as he walked towards the unopened doors, "I don't really care how we do it. I can strap you down to one of those tables if that's what it takes, but I'm not leaving you in here on your own."_

"_On my…own, wait," I said with a dead look, my brow furrowing just for effect just to hide it from him, "is this to do with your vision? Or have you seen something else? It doesn't sound like your doing this out of caring for my health." _

_-Like you ever did that for any of us…-_

Bastard.

I couldn't believe it; of all the times to give me one of his "for the good of the team" speeches it had to be when I had hardly recovered from copious near fatal bullet wounds and a severe panic/brain/crazy attack. Well, of course Mr. Stick-up-his-ass wouldn't have settled for anything less dramatic I suppose. God I couldn't believe we were still coming back to that sort of pathetic mentality even after this length of time…

"Are you staring at me for a good reason," I could hear that annoyed element in my voice, but I didn't care enough to correct it at that moment, "or am I just too gorgeous to resist?"

Silence.

"Oh, you're no fun," I said into that silence when there was no reply.

"Why did you do it?" he said suddenly.

Straight to the point, no messing around, perhaps that's one element of Weiss I do appreciate; they're very blunt.

"I couldn't possibly guess as to what you are talking about."

And I appreciate that element because it makes them so much easier to play with.

"You pushed me out of the way of that bullet," he said slowly as he played the scene over in his mind, ignoring my statement altogether, "and took it for yourself. I want to know why and you're going to tell me."

I lay there for another moment, watching the scene in his mind, from his point of view, and tried to think of a good answer, not for him as much as for myself. I didn't care how much he stewed over it and aggravated himself over it as long as I had the answer to keep from him in the first place. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't really think of one. I was at just as much of a loss as he was. Well, that sucked.

"And of course that's none of your business…" I started with a smirk.

"What was that _partner_?" he said with an ingratiating and very affronting smile.

"Just because we happen to have been forced to sit in the same room without killing each other," my smirk faded, "does not mean I have to tell you the intricate workings of my mind. I however know yours already and their boring me, you couldn't send in another of your little group for me to rake through could you?"

Silence.

"Thought not," I sighed and turned a little so I could get a look at him, delving further into that black abyss he called a mind, not caring when he finally noticed I was there, "but then I guess I could be speaking too soon. I mean there might be something interesting that I haven't found yet…"

"I wouldn't go there if I were you," he growled, his fair face crumpling into a frown under the strain of my assault, "I'm not the one incapacitated and vulnerable here."

"Yeah," I said, closing my eyes and peering further, "and neither am I."

I think it was when I struck a particular memory, a glimmering golden figure in a black void who I didn't recognise, that he stood up and was beside my couch in a flash. The thin strip of light from one of the side lamps at the other side of the room was abruptly obscured and when I opened my eyes there he was, like some great black angel with a distorted halo, looming and filled with malice.

"I said leave it alone," his voice was as menacing as his appearance.

"I'm sorry what was that? I can't quite hear you," I smiled viciously as I settled softly onto my back, "you'll have to come a little closer."

"I don't want to get any closer to your stinking breath Schwartz," he spat out with calm malice, "so just stay out when I tell you to stay out. Got it?"

I felt my hackles rise at that one statement and scowled darkly at him. What, we had been acquainted in as friendly a manner as we probably ever would be and now he felt he had the right to start threatening me? Just who the hell did he think he was talking to?

"Well if it's annoying you so much why don't you just get the hell away from me before I feel it my right to retaliate?" I spat back.

"Because I want your answer."

"Well I don't want to talk about it," I replied testily.

"Don't want to talk about it?" he echoed incredulously, "What, you scared or something?"

"Shut up," I said with the most finality in my voice I could gather, ignoring his obvious goad, "and fuck off."

When I heard him move then I thought that I must really have sounded more pissed off than I thought I had and that he was really going to leave. I sighed a little happy sigh, that was until I felt strong arms surrounding me and I was pulled roughly into a sitting position. It wasn't as easy a thing to do as it sounds, my body was still badly beaten up and sore from the fight and must have been a dead weight. That was maybe why I actually let out a small cry when I felt one of the bullet wounds tare open and begin to bleed again.

"Tell me what the hell this is all about," he hissed out, his face now level with mine, my pained breath hardly concealed against his chin, "what the hell's your game?"

"I've got a better idea," I snarled out, wincing only slightly as I felt him push harder into the couch and aggravating my wound even further, "why don't you eat shit and die?"

"God dammit Schuldich just tell me what the hell is going on here or I swear I'm going to make you bleed this couch red!"

"Little too late for that don't you think?" I smirked back, fully ready to either kill him or do some serious damage once my sarcasm had sunk in through his thick skull.

His mouth twisted then with rage, him obviously thinking that I meant about earlier that night when my wounds had been fresh; however when I moved my hand, the one I had been using to clutch at my once more bleeding wound, I think it must have caught his eye because he looked down…and he seemed to cringe at the red patch he saw widening on the bandage there. I stalled on spotting his look however, his odd look…I felt my malice putting itself on hold.

"I…" he faltered, a frown covering my brow at his severe change in behaviour, his hands loosening, "..shit, I…"

He was untying the bandage around my abdomen before I knew what was really happening, his other hand diving inside his jacket as he kept his eyes from my own confused and angry ones. The confusion only heightened when he brought out another bandage. This was too strange, so strange that I just had to let him play it out if only to see where he was going with it. Well I mean why…why the hell, after he'd just threatened to make me bleed out all over this couch, was Yoji was carefully and by all means kindly replacing my soiled bandage?

Bizarre, that was the only word for it however inappropriate it may sound to describe it. I even found myself surprised that he had bought a spare bandage in the first place, trying to seek out the now strangely complicated thoughts filling his head to breaking point. His face, considering his mental state, was oddly calm and focused. However even my confusion and curiosity wasn't enough to assuage my anger and I think I would have pushed him away if it wouldn't have opened the wound in my shoulder too.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I growled out breathily instead.

"You're bleeding," he said back matter-of-factly, not looking to my eyes as he spoke.

"Yeah, and who's fault is that?"

"Well now I'm going to stop it, aren't I?"

"And that's you redeemed is it?"

"Oh shut up, do you want to do this yourself?"  
"Anything's better than having to have your dirty hands on me."

He pulled the bandage a little too tight as he pinned it off, scowling at me as he finally looked into my eyes. There was a moment's silence then, a rather awkward one that was neither hostile nor calm, where we both just sat and looked grumpily at each other. It was like we were waiting for something to happen, for someone to come over here just to diffuse the tension, for one of us to say something, for…well anything but this goddamn silence.

"I can't tell you because I don't fucking well know," I murmured into the silence, barely disturbing it, "and don't think that I wouldn't tell you if I did know because believe me I would do anything to get you off my case right now."

"Well," Yoji started, kneeling down on the floor in front of me as I laid carefully back down against the sighing couch, his face hidden by his hair and the darkness, "it's not quite the answer I wanted, but I guess it'll have to do just now."

"Yes," I snipped back testily, even if not quite as hostilely as before.

The shadows seemed to close in around us, the room darkening. It was as if I could feel my fuming frustration blacking out the edges of my vision, my haunted thoughts straining under that one damnable question. Why had I saved him? It wasn't even the most important question I could be asking myself right now considering the situation, yet it was the most persistent. I mean surely I should be thinking about how to get us out of this, about those new strangers who'd been blagging such crap earlier, about…well anything more important than why I had suffered a momentary madness earlier that night and saved someone I would never have considered sanely saving in a million years. Even as I had tried to justify it, it still seemed wholly alien, a concept not even conceived in the days when…well, let's just say the days before Schwartz. The momentary thought of sacrificing my own life for another's was something I had only suffered from once before that moment…but, well, that was different, completely different. This was an enemy, no two ways about it, no mater how much we pretended to be on the same side, we were enemies; it's that simple. Right? Of course I'm right.

And now I had a headache, great, of course; the indigestion after the main course. I bowed my head to my chest and ignored the pain…it was only pain after all. My wound twinged and I felt shiver run down the length of my spine, curling in on myself further as it made my mind tingle at the sensation. I didn't want to think about this, god damn these bastards, all of them; anything but this.

"There's something wrong with your Kitten over there you know," I said slowly, smirking as Yoji frowned.

"My…kitten?" he said with an incredulous look.

"Siberian you dumb fool," I growled, suddenly annoyed by hisidiotic ignorance,"he's…not right."

"Speak for yourself," he snorted, turning round to sit on the floor with his back against the couch, "you're so far beyond "not right" you…"

"Don't finish that sentence," I said tightly, daring him so badly in my head to even try it.

"God, could you get to the point perhaps?" he sighed, patting the pockets of his jacket and cursing when he didn't find any cigarettes.

"Fuck you," I snapped, "hell, try to help someone and they throw it in your face."

"Yeah, you're just so charitable."

"Meaning?" I drawled.

"You know exactly what I mean. Like you expect me to believe that you would tell me anything for free out of concern for a member of Weiss."

"Well under any other circumstances you'd be right on the mark by predicting my indifference and perhaps even joy at the thought of you being in pain; unfortunately my testy American friend over there has decided that we need you idiots to stay alive," I looked over to him out of the corner of my eye, "so I guess I'm forced to be concerned against my nature and better judgement."

"Ha…just as I thought," Yoji shook his head and if it wasn't so dark…I could have sworn there was a slight smile on his lips, "so…what is it you wanted to tell me?"

"Well, Siberian he…there's something wrong with his mind," I said vaguely, not really sure how to describe the feeling in words, "it's as if the guy has some severe split personality disorder."

"Ken? Are you nuts? He's the sanest of us all…" but he seemed to falter from his denial as he looked forwards in stubborn defiance, opening his mouth and closing it before finally sighing and bowing his head, "…alright you have a point. He has been acting really strangely over the past couple of days."

"You got any idea why, apart from the obvious reasons like the threat of almost being killed repeatedly over the past twenty four hours?"

"Well…" he seemed ready to say something before closing his mouth again, "not really."

"You know, I can just take the information if you're not willing to give," I warned him.

"Look, some secrets aren't mine to give away," he tried to reason.

"And this makes me care why?" I asked with a frown.

"Just don't bother all right," he snapped, "it's nothing to do with what I'm thinking of anyway; it's as if he's acting like a different person, like someone else is giving him lines to speak. This isn't some sort of trauma, this isn't grief and it isn't because he had his head bashed in on a banister either."

"More than likely I think it's something to do with the person who bashed his head off of the banister in the first place," I shrugged, "but then that's just my expert opinion."

"Yeah well," he sighed and in his mind wondered why he was even having this conversation; the thought made me want to laugh, "well I think there's something more to it than that. You…you don't now what it is do you?"

"No, not really," I shrugged again, uncurling slowly to get more comfortable, "but I can tell you one thing, it's taking its toll on him whatever it is. I think you'll have to keep an eye open, just incase…"

"Incase what?" he asked after a moments pause.

"Incase anything happens."

"Oh," he said sarcastically, "thanks."

"You're welcome."

God, look at me would you, what was I doing here? What was happening to the world? Everything was turning upside down and inside out, nothing was what it seemed any longer. Crawford was right when he said that we couldn't rely upon old perceptions any more, not when things had changed so radically. I mean I would have thought it a cold day in hell when I found Schuldich not only being half civil to me but even helpful, well to a point. And now I found myself sitting here next to him, his hair falling against my own, his voice permeating my thoughts and I didn't feel disturbed in the least. In fact, what was disturbing me was the reality that I felt calmer over here in the dark sitting against this couch than I did back over beside Omi and Ken. However, the aggravation that had been building in the air between everyone sitting in that circle of chairs made it hard to both concentrate and relax in any way…and basically that's what I needed to do right now. If Crawford was right about this place then this was the most rest we were going to get for a while. We were going to be running from the moment we left here and I for one was going to take advantage of this silence and calm to its fullest. Damn the convoluted explanations and the bullshit, the cover stories and the masks. I didn't want or care about them enough to merit staying over there in that circle of light, instead of over here in this calm darkness.

With the one enemy I never would have believed myself preferring over Omi of all people. I mean Schuldich, I never would have thought I would prefer him over even a knife in the back, a kick in the groin…anything really.

"So what is with this place?" I asked just to stop my introspection more than anything else, "What does it mean to you?"

"Are you still talking?" he said back with an annoyed tone which I ignored with an odd sense of ease.

"You went pretty nuts back there, in the lift I mean and," I stopped as I recalled the fear, the need to escape, clouding my vision as I felt it in every fibre of my mind, "that was your memory I saw, wasn't it?"

"And you thought I was being weird when I offered you my advice," he snorted, "now you're playing psychiatrist?"

"It's more curiosity actually," I said back, recalling suddenly the fact that I had seen Schuldich smoking earlier, "oh, and you can give me a cigarette while you're at it."

"What? Do you want to live beyond the next five seconds? You get off bossing me around or something?"

"Just give it up already and just give me a damn cigarette," I sighed, hoping he would just acquiesce so I didn't have to get them myself and risk being sent into a coma just to feed my nicotine habit.

Silence, a snort, rusting and then I felt something soft and light bounce off of my head and roll down my coat to land on the floor. I smiled at my victory and picked up the white stick before popping it into my mouth. Then came the distinct sharp pain of a solid metal lighter smacking me in the back of the head before dribbling down the same path as the cigarette had.

"Before you bugged me about that too, thought I would get straight to it."

"I'll kill you later," I growled back around my cigarette, picking up the lighter with one hand while rubbing my head with the other.

I inhaled deeply as I lit up, detachedly watching the way I could see my face reflected in my sunglasses as the red tip glowed brightly. I hadn't even had the presence of mind to take them off as I had wandered into the dark side of the room, not exactly at the forefront of my mind I guess.

The silence lingered, like the smoke pooling and eddying through my vision. I wasn't going to get an answer to that question either, I gathered from his stony behaviour, and simply let myself enjoy my cigarette and this moment of silence for what it was.

Escape.

I guess that, when I was slowly working myself up over why I would possibly prefer to get away from Omi and Ken and to come over here of all places…it was simply for that reason alone. It made the most sense now that I had discovered it, quite the little revelation. It was of course what we had all futilely been hungering for ever since things had slipped out of our control, spiralling seemingly endlessly into darkness, but then who wouldn't? No one would want to voluntarily live in a world where friends seemed enemies and enemy's friends, where you were constantly looking over your shoulder, constantly fearing a bullet in the back or another friend to go insane…

…but I digress; escaping this nightmare seemed like a dream. Unfortunately, the reality of gaining such a dream seemed as unrealistic as the bullshit those two weirdo's had been spouting before I left the little "meeting". Unattainable and intangible. Just like…

"_Yoji…"_

God. I never thought that…that I'd hear her voice again. I never knew it would hurt so much, so much just to hear her again, to see her disappear again after having her so close.

Asuka. I hadn't even really thought about it till now, what I had thought I had seen back at the nightclub after we were attacked. When Schuldich had touched it inside my mind earlier, the feeling of rage that he dared watch something so personal had outweighed the underlying feelings that accompanied the memory itself; now however, as my brooding deepened, it was all seeping back into my consciousness.

That golden vision appearing before my eyes so suddenly, drifting through black velvet, sliding from nothing and encased within infinity. That vision of her alive yet inspired by death, talking to me, telling me…not to die myself, even though I had wanted to. It was split seconds now that I looked back on that moment, that moment where I thought I was going crazy, either that or I was dead, and she was there, a shimmering Isis leading me onwards whilst pushing me away. I hadn't hardly believed my eyes when I had first looked upon her, her body smooth as silk, fading in and out around the seams, her eyes large and caring and…dead. Heck, would you look at me? I was half dead at the time, hallucinating, and I'm acting as if it really was her and not a figment of my dying brain standing there smiling at me. I knew it hadn't been her, even though I had wished it was, all in those split seconds. It just proved to me, in the end, how close she still was to me, that even after her betrayal and death at my own hands I had never really let her go. But I didn't want to think about it, none of it, perhaps, realistically, _because_ of how close she still was in my heart. I would rather torture my brain with questions of why I was here in the first place, why Schwartz was here, who the strangers really were, just what the hell was going on here, just why Aya had gone insane and…

…but then…hell.

Oh hell.

There I was, yelling at Omi, accusing him I front of everyone of not caring, of not once thinking of Aya since he had tried to murder us in cold blood, and I hadn't thought about it since it had happened either. I'm such a hypocrite, berating him when I was supposed to be giving him hope, that's what he'd asked me for wasn't it? I mean Aya was the reason we joined up with Schwartz in the first place, for many reasons. Firstly, purely because of the sequence of events, he caused Schwartz to take us at a disadvantage when they first arrived; we were incapacitated, outnumbered and disorientated. Secondly, we teamed up with them because, can't believe I admit these things really, we couldn't find him on our own. I know I would never ever say something like that out loud, I know because I never have even when I've thought the same thing on numerous occasions, that we can't do this it's too much, we're not good enough, I can't do this anymore…yet I've always proven myself wrong in the end. I was hoping against hope that it would turn out the same way this time.

"So you think it's all bullshit, do you?"

The soft voice blew visibly through the smoke hanging around my head like a halo, distorting it into a million tiny vortexes. I breathed in slowly through my nose, ignoring the tickling sensation as the smoke made my nose itch; it was a moment before I replied, trying not to think "too loudly" about the idea's running through my head.

"You think any different?" I started, looking intently at the leaves of the plant in front of me while I spoke, "That wasn't an explanation they gave us back there, it was some sort of smoke screen. They didn't even answer our question, they just babbled on about some useless history to deviate from the fast that they were covering up for themselves."

"Yes, but think about it…" he started, stopping to roll slowly and carefully over until I could feel his breath shifting through my hair as he spoke, "if they really were covering up then wouldn't it be easier to just make up something convincing instead of something suspicious? If you ask me, there is an element of truth to what they're telling us."

"Truth? You of all people are buying this? I would have thought that after our experience of Esset and the like would have made you more cautious; you're seeming awfully blind here. Anyway I thought you could just go in and take from their minds the fact that it's all obvious lies. It's all too farfetched and they're so evasive; I don't like the feel of them."

"The feel of them eh?" I knew he was smirking without even turning my head, "Well, truth is, I can't see their minds, they're completely closed to me."

"Heh," I scoffed, shifting the smoke dramatically with my hand, "so even your great powers aren't infallible hmm? Since when did Schwartz start admitting weaknesses?"

"Oh it's not a weakness," he practically purred in my ear, "it's only truth, I don't tell lies. It's the same idea as the fact that it is true that I could simply and effectively kill every Weiss in this room without breaking a sweat, just as an analogy of course."

The softness of his voice did not belay the obvious threat that lay underneath, sending shivers up and down my spine; he said it so casually, continued on normally after saying it, yet I knew that it wasn't a casual thing. I would be careless, _had_ been careless enough, to almost forget that this was one of the Schwartz assassins who had on many previous occasions tried to take my life. You would think that wouldn't be an easy thing to slip your mind ne?

"Anyway," he continued, altogether blasé, "I don't read any bad feelings, not to say that I trust them or that they're not just good at hiding, yet they seem genuine. The younger one is easier to read, he's more inexperienced than the other yet…yet there's something about him that doesn't quite fit."

"So what, you're not getting any bad feelings from these guys at all? Nothing, nada, zip, zero?" I asked with a look of sarcastic disbelief, "Please forgive me if I don't believe you."

"Testy much? You seriously think that it has to be what their telling us that's suspicious, or that they don't feel bad on the outside? Having mental shields as strong as my own at the simple age of nineteen isn't suspicious to you?" his voice was as biting as my own, dangerous even.

"Huh, what's that supposed to prove? I bet your shields were just as strong when you were nineteen," I snapped, half turning my head to look at him out of the corner of my eye.

I saw him open his mouth to retort only to stop, look a little confused and then close it again.

"Was that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?" his voice was still sullen yet now held a warped sense of curiosity as well.

"…Fucked if I know," I said after a moments hesitation, unsure as to the meaning of my statement myself despite the tone I had taken.

"Hmm," his vague reply slipped out into the air, neither an agreement nor an acknowledgement; it just was.

I could almost feel the time slipping away as we sat, the formless murmurs of the rest of our group like ghosting whispers. I mean this was all fine in the meantime but…well, it wasn't forever, unfortunately. This was, no matter how I tried to play it out in my mind, a short teasing period of rest. I knew that I kept coming back to that thought, that this wasn't going to last, but in reality I was still clinging to the hope that it could be. It hadn't sunk in yet that I couldn't just stay like this forever, that perhaps if we just didn't move then things could just stop in their advance along the path of time and we could stay in this dirge like stagnancy.

Ha, would you look at me? Sound like a sorry loser yet?

Back up, back up and start again. I was getting myself depressed thinking this stupid shit, stupid and useless. If I kept on like this then I was going to end up killing myself just so I didn't have to ever do anything ever again. That was following the same reasoning as I was using right now right? Right, idiotic; I need to think differently. Things had to advance, you couldn't just stands still or in the end you'd never get past the bad things to the good things. Yeah, that was more like it! Heh, would you just look at the self medicating shrink at work, genius ne? I liked to think so.

The soft clicking of shoes on the hard floor brought me back to my senses. I looked up as they continued to approach, focusing on the space beyond the fern in anticipation of the intruder. I heard Schuldich move behind me also, his small wince hardly noticeable as he pushed himself up onto his elbow.

"I think he wants me alone," was all he managed to chuckle out before the silhouette of Crawford appeared before me.

"Oh, so I'm being chucked out?" I said back as I pulled the last of my cigarette from my mouth and held it in my fingers, "does he expect me to just leave?"

"Yeah, something like that," he nodded and then all of a sudden the last of my cigarette was gone from my fingers and I turned sharply to look at him, "but I think it would be best for both of us if you did."

I could only glare as he slipped it into his mouth and took a long draw on the last of the burning embers; I was, however, too confused by his last statement to put up a fight. For some reason I found myself believing him and then I found myself sitting away from the couch and avoiding the looming shadow of Crawford sitting just in the corner of my eye. Schuldich let the smoke out slowly through his nose and closed his eyes happily.

"Yeah, I needed that before I have to deal with even more shit," he said more to himself than to me, "Sitting through your little conversation having only the fumes to keep me company was hard enough, but this one coming up needs nicotine."

"What in the hell are you talking about?" I shook my head as I stood, changing my mind as I looked down at him once more, "no, it doesn't matter, don't tell me, I don't want to know."

"Good, I wasn't planning on it anyway," he snorted, grinding the cigarette butt out roughly onto the ground.

I decided to walk past Crawford as if he wasn't even there, not really as a jibe but more so I didn't have to, as Schuldich put it, "deal with even more shit". That wasn't to say that I didn't notice the look in his eyes as I passed however, a strange glint that was hardly visible in his half shaded face, and the odd angle to his posture as he stood rigidly and watched the couch as if…it almost seemed he was looking straight at the couch and bypassing the person on it. It reminded me strangely of the look Schuldich had donned earlier but minus the hollowness or the, well…anything. Crawford was far too guarded to read anything from. I found myself wondering, as I walked away from them both towards the circle once more, why Schuldich had ever trusted Crawford in the first place? If he didn't trust the strangers because he couldn't read them, why trust another man you couldn't read? Yet, I guess I was being trivial, anything could have happened between them and I'd be none the wiser as to its significance or its existence.

Not that I, in the end, really cared.

AN: Please feel free to kick the author

Ah, well, that took it's time didn't it? Again, apologies for it being so late and I hope the fact that I'm giving you two makes up for it! For some bizarre, unknown, preternatural reason I was not able to finish this chapter for far too long a length of time. I had it 98 percentdone for about three weeks and then for some reason…just couldn't finish it. Highly frustrating doesn't even cover it, and I'm still not even happy with it now it's done. However, if it seems unfinished to you in any way, at least now you'll know the reason why; I just had to post it before I went insane. As ever please R&R, feedback very welcome!


	28. Eyes

Disclaimer; I don't own Weiss Kreuz or have enough money to pay for them, so no suing.

**Chapter 28**

**Eyes**

I was sitting beside him when it happened. I had decided I didn't like the look of the chair I had been using before because it was too close to the still speaking, even if only softly and slowly, figures huddled around the lamps. I didn't want to lose that feeling of calm, that feeling that, even though he had riled me and nagged at me and threatened to kill me, Schuldich had inspired in my mind.

So I decided to sit beside Ken because he was asleep and so couldn't bug me and also because his chair was turned away from the group and was hidden in darkness and silence. The large black armchair was directly opposite him but I didn't watch him as he slept, opting for looking into the darkness and thinking instead. I know that I seemed to be rather apathetic to the while situation but in reality I was still worried sick about…everything. I just didn't want to share my thoughts at the moment, I'd had enough of that back over behind the ferns where Crawford and Schuldich were now talking just as quietly was the German and I had moments before.

However, when Ken started to move, I guess it caught my eye and I happened to look at him. He was curled up into the chair, his feet on the seat and his knees brought up to his chin, his back slightly arched and his arms laying loosely over his folded legs. Or at least, one of the was. As I watched him I became more and more interested by his movements. Well, considering this was Ken Hidaka the man who could give corpses lessons on sleeping, the fact that he was moving at all was rather peculiar; also the fact that it was only his right arm that was raising up, stretching out like a budding flower towards the sun, fingers unfurling…

"Ken?" I said softly, not expecting a reply.

Nothing. I stood up and walked over to him while his arm continued to move up and out towards nothing but air.

"Ken are you awake?" a useless question but still I had to check; still no response.

Well hell, this was strange. Perhaps he was having a nightmare, that would be the only thing I could think of to make Ken move this much in his sleep. So, I thought I'd wake him up because, considering all the crap that we'd been going through lately, Ken's nightmare's had all the potential to be really rather nasty. So I did what any other normal person would have done, right? I grabbed his hand to shake it and wake him up. Well I mean wouldn't you have done it, considering it was right there and just asking to be grabbed anyway and…

…yet I never knew that it would happen, I mean if I had known I don't think I would take it back now but still…at the time I couldn't believe my eyes. Well, you wouldn't have either, believe me. I knew there was something wrong as soon as I felt something akin to static electricity weave between our palms but, by then, it was too late and I'd already grasped his hand. I felt like someone had just stuck my soaking wet hand into the mains circuit. I went rigid, my vision went white, the room disappeared and then…

"Oh…oh god!"

* * *

"Don't cut them like that Aya, they'll all die!"

_-Oh no…no not this again_.-

"Look, you have to cut the stems at an angle…"

_-Please not this…it's too much…-_

It was all I could think as I "felt" the sunlight of a lazy Wednesday afternoon haze across my face and fall onto the floor to dazzle the tiles there, as the chatter of passers by made my eyes stray away from him momentarily, as the scissors in my hands glinted brightly in the light.

_I thought I was over this one, but…_-

"…so that the flowers suck up more of the food in the water, or they only last half as long."

As I walked over to him, his red hair swirling delicately as he turned his icy amethyst glare onto me, I felt like just sighing dejectedly and going along with the illusion. I mean they don't call them recurring dreams for nothing. So…that's exactly what I did. I allowed myself to believe even if only for a short time that I really was back at the Koneko, that it really was a Wednesday afternoon that had been so very quiet apart from the birds in the trees and the occasional chatting of passers by. I really let myself think that Aya was standing in front of me in that horrid orange sweater, despite the heat, and really was glaring at me with all his might just because I had dared criticize him. I really did believe that I was back on that day when his behaviour had thrown to the ground and smashed the illusion I had thought was him leave him replaced with an even more mysterious figure.

"Here, see, like this."

I thought that I really did feel him snatch the shiny scissors back from me, I really did sigh as I turned back to sweeping the floor…that I really did jump out of my skin when I felt his hands catch hold of my shoulders and spin me round on my feet.

"AH!" was the most articulate thing I could say then, even though I had never said anything like it on that day.

But that didn't really matter anymore, because Aya had never turned me round on my feet to face that coldly desperate look in his eyes that hadn't ever been there that day either. I just looked into his penetrating gaze with an astonished look of my own, my senses reeling a little as I felt the dream I was sure this was reel with me.

"Why have you been ignoring me!" was the first thing he shouted.

"Huh?" it was the most justified comment that had ever passed my lips, or so it seemed in that bizarre moment.

As I looked into his eyes, those eyes that were now so close to my own as they leaned in towards me to scrutinize as much as they could of my face, I realised that there was something not quite right about his stare. He was looking at me like he had known me for years, whereas on that day he had always looked at me as if he didn't know me at all. I shuddered as he loosened his grip and backed away a little, not, however, letting me go.

"Answer my question," he said stubbornly, although not as emotionally as before…if you could ever call Aya truly emotional and not just angry.

"I…don't know what you're talking about," I shook my head slowly as I spoke, watching his eyes intently.

"I was calling on you, didn't you hear me?" the anger was back and it seemed to me, as his eyes cast some spell, that he was entirely justified to feel this way towards me.

"What, just now?" I asked confused, "I didn't hear you…"

"No not just now you bakayaro! All the time, all the time I'm stuck in this bloody dark and you kept yelling "orchid" at me!"

"When I was what..?" this had to be the weirdest dream I had had in a while, and that was saying something considering how my dreams usually ran.

"You kept yelling at me, and I couldn't get anywhere even though I was walking and then that mirror…" he stopped so suddenly that I wasn't sure if he'd even been talking in the first place, his eyes rapidly darting away from my face in suspicious panic.

He turned around suddenly, sending me stumbling as he forgot to let go of my shoulders and carried me round too. I grabbed onto the bench to stop from falling and cut my finger on the scissors lying haphazardly where he had dropped them, the pain feeling so real for a moment that I actually cried out. What…what was this?

"Where am I?" he whispered more to himself, his stare still wild and confused, "Is this where I was trying to get to? Is this…is this the Koneko?"

"Aya, you're being weird," I told him firmly as I stuck my bleeding finger in my mouth, "will you please just have that stupid conversation with me about teamwork so we can round this up and I can go find an even more bizarre dream to have?"

"I'm being weird?" Aya seemed positively furious, pointing his finger at me to emphasise his point, "I just walked all the way here to find you and you tell me that I'm being weird? Well Hidaka, unless you tell me what's going on right this minute I'm going to do nothing of the sort and…"

Again he stopped as suddenly as he'd begun, looking down at the finger he was pointing at me in astonishment.

"I'm bleeding..?" he said distractedly, sticking his finger into his mouth instinctively.

"Oou to?" I said still with my finger in my mouth, a frown creasing my forehead.

"Mm hmm," he said back with a curt nod, speaking around the digit in his mouth as he replied as curtly as he could, "wat do oou fink I just shaid?"

"Stwange," I murmured, pulling the finger from my mouth to look at it, Aya mirroring my movement.

There was silence then, one which I was glad for just because Aya wasn't shouting at me anymore; it was beginning to make me feel a little sick, that feeling you can have in dreams like you're falling from a great height and your stomach's doing summersaults. I mean, it was bad enough that I had to dream of him now he was gone, but to have that dream ruined by my own destructive sub conscious..? I don't think I could stand having my only contact with him be like this, I needed to have those old days back just the way they were or I think I would just go crazy right here and now, save myself the trouble of doing so slowly and torturously.

He let his hand fall dejectedly to his side, even while I kept my eyes on my own and watched the cut well once more with blood. He shifted a little uneasily, as if he wasn't sure what the ground was, what his feet were supposed to do on contact with it. He ended up walking himself right back into the buckets of flowers before I could stop him, the sparkling water spilling onto the floor and slopping back and forth on the disturbed stand. His look was disorientated and slightly haunted, although I only saw it from the corner of my eye; the blood on my finger was fascinating me far too much…I heard him slump down onto the floor and let out a stiff sigh. I just brought my arm down slowly, ignoring the drip of blood that fell from my finger to the tiled floor with a tiny dull thump. For once in my dream, in this dream, I had no idea what was going to happen.

"The mirror," he asked suddenly, his eyes and voice calm as he stared at me from his hunkered position near the flower buckets, "where is it?"

"What mirror?" I asked a little exasperatedly as I squeezed my finger to stop the imaginary blood from coming out.

"The mirror," he said back just as exasperatedly, "the mirror where I saw her."  
"Her…who?" I said with a confused and slightly shocked frown, "…but…Aya I don't understand what you're getting at…"

"What do you mean you don't know what I'm getting at?" he snapped, standing suddenly and walking towards me with menace in his eyes that made me want to back away, "You were there you fool, you were right there, I saw you! Didn't you see her too, she was behind him…"

"You're making no sense," I cringed as he continued to advance, "this is all wrong…"

"I'm making perfect sense of all of this, considering it's all nonsense anyway!" his visage was furious, I couldn't stand it, "Stop lying to me and tell me, tell me now just what the hell is going on."

"Stop it," I could feel the entire room shiver with me as I began to shake, "please…"

"Tell me!"

"I don't know what you mean! Please stop this…" the feeling in my stomach doubled as he came closer

"Where is she!"

"Please…stop doing this to me!"

I felt myself fall to the floor as if it were actually happening, as if in the real world I was probably falling off of that chair I had fallen asleep in. I heard a gasp, saw the spot of blood on the floor as I raced down to meet it, felt the rays of sun hitting my eyes as they reflected from the spilt water. All so real, all so intangible. God I wished it were real, so much; I wished it were as simple as to purely wish for it and it could be true. But then, that's what I thought dreams were for, a place where your own personal fantasies come into fruition. Now I couldn't even find solace in this most simple of pleasures. I couldn't even rely on my own mind to create a perfect world for me. Even dreaming of the past was now more a chore than thinking about the present.

I heard footsteps approaching me.

I looked up, the figure of Aya looming over me, the sunshine behind him from the windows silhouetting his face. I felt astray tear leak invisibly from my right eye and spill onto the tiled floor. His hand reached down, the sun glancing off of the light hair on his arm. The dream was dissipating around my very eyes, I could feel it, just the same as the way I could feel my own arm come up to reach for his own. I wished I could see his face now, I wished it because I wanted naively to know whether or not he was still angry. Not that it mattered in the end because this was a dream and Aya was merely a figment of my imagination or my memory, or both mixed together.

I felt his fingertips brushing over my own, a strange feeling of static electricity surging over my palm, almost forcing them apart as they strove to come together. Then he grasped my hand…

…and the world blazed sudden white. I thought I could feel the pain of it in my eyes even though I new it wasn't real, that none of this was real and these feelings weren't real and Aya wasn't real and neither was his hand even if it felt it.

A bright light shone in the distance, there was an echo of laughter…children laughing. I could feel that pollen scented breeze on my face, like the gentians floating through the air and the smoke of the fire licking at the walls and the smell of charred flesh drifting through the smoke filled atmosphere…when he spoke he spoke from behind me and all around me and inside of me and all he said was…

"That was when you had to wake up."

"Aya?" I screamed in fright and confusion as he suddenly hurtled away from me, the whole room went black and…

I felt the need to be sick as I seemed to lurch right out of my own skin, my mind a paragon of agony as I tried to clutch my head but couldn't. I wanted to pull back my hand, still outstretched after clasping Aya's own, still wrapped around a hand that was now invisible to me, but I couldn't move it. I realised I had closed my eyes without even noticing, opening them suddenly from a need to see if he was there again and staggering to the left at the brilliant light there, even though I was still lying down. Yet this was a dream, anything could happen; which was why I wasn't surprised at all when I opened my eyes and saw that my outstretched arm was sporting an orange sleeve and dusky red hairs from pale skin. Or that Yoji was unwittingly holding onto it, his eyes wide and incredulous.

When I finally did black out back into the oblivion of dreamless sleep or wherever the hell you go after such a hideous consortium of madness, I was rather more than glad.

AN: Well there ya go, finally someone gets it! Gees, took them long enough ne? But well, have they even gotten it yet? sigh who knows how these guys ever managed…grumble grumble. Please R&R these idiots!


	29. Reunion

Disclaimer: Don't own them, just playing with them at the moment and I promise I'll give them back later………

**Chapter 29**

**Reunion**

He was looking right at me, but also right through me. It was an odd look, one that I have seen a lot of times before, yet it was the first time I had ever seen it on him. He was always the sort of man that I thought was constantly focused on the here and now, odd considering he's a precognitive ne? Well, just because he knows the future, it doesn't mean that he isn't firmly rooted in the here and now. He maps upcoming events, but he has to start somewhere right? Well, right now it looked like he wasn't using the "here and now" as his base of operations and it was a little odd. I just made myself comfortable, not really sure what he was wanting me for, and tried to relax.

"Bad day at the office?" yet still I couldn't help being a cocky bastard; something things just never get old.

Crawford obviously didn't deem me worthy enough to afford a reply. He simply changed his posture, his shoulders slinking smoothly underneath his jacket, before walking steadily over to the couch where I was lying. Still, as I watched him curiously, trying to catch any stray thoughts he might have been letting loose, I thought that my comment had some backing to it. Crawford was being awfully strange, his behaviour rather erratic and unpredictable recently. Also, we had just talked not twenty odd minutes ago and now he was coming over here, to all intents and purposes looking at me as if I had been avoiding him, and looming over me. Was there something I missed, was there something I had done to annoy him? If there was then I was oblivious to it and unfortunately Brad was shielding his thoughts too well for me to dredge any sort of explanation from them.

"Don't lay there and look confused," he said dryly, coldly, "are you really that idiotic or have you forgotten that you still haven't explained failing your mission?"

Well slap my ass and call me Yoji but if I was actually that stupid. I could have almost laughed out loud at the thought, the fact that everything had been happening so fast, everything moving in such rapid succession that I had completely forgotten that I had even been on a mission in the first place. But then, shit, what the hell did Brad think he was doing being so angrily cold all of a sudden? I mean, I know that this is how he gets when he thinks you've failed him, when he feels that things haven't gone exactly to his planning, but still…I didn't think that I deserved to be talked to like this. I mean, didn't I bring the strangers back with me, wasn't that good enough? I know I was supposed to get the information from the Esset pick up crew but, well, that wasn't possible, it hadn't been an option. Hell, it probably wasn't an option any more considering the fact that they were obviously on to us, bearing in mind we'd been ambushed. Crawford would surely pursue it though, against my better judgement, simply because he believed more in himself than he did his team mates. That's what that means isn't it? Surely? I can't think, _haven't _been ableto think over the past ten years or so, why it would mean anything different.

"I think that…well," I started, trying not to think about being angry and distracted while I talked to Crawford because he would only pick up on it and use it to his advantage, "things are becoming a little more complicated than we thought."

"Why don't you just elaborate on that," Crawford said back, his face still shrouded in shadow and his posture hard and solid.

"It's, well," I wasn't sure why I was hesitating, why I wasn't just telling him who it was that had actually foiled his precious mission so that he would stop bugging me and find something more useful for his calculating brain to do, "the last person you would think of."

"I am in no mood to play guessing games Schuldich, I want you to tell me why you failed and I want your explanation now," he said it in that way, that uniquely Brad Crawford way, that promised so many threats underneath his words that he didn't even have to say any of them out loud.

However, as I lay there looking up at him, the ceiling sprawling away behind him at its ridiculous height, the soft feelings emanating from the others in the room permeating my mind no matter how I tried to keep them at bay, the wounds in my chest and shoulder throbbing from when Yoji had shoved me up against the couch, I found that I couldn't duly reply to him. The only thing that was really on my mind, when I looked hard enough, deep, deep down in my subconscious where all the real thoughts are kept, I found that I could only finally reply with one simple question of my own.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I could feel more than see his face react to it, first in confusion and then in frustration. I could feel from him that he wanted to know what it was that I was insinuating he had failed to do for me and then he was again feeling that detached anger that showed me that he really didn't care when it came down to it. I sighed very softly, feeling rather exhausted all of a sudden, like I didn't want him to be near me, like I didn't want anyone to be near me at this moment. There were thoughts and feelings hovering just outside my consciousness and I was definitely sure that I didn't want to feel them right now. This was…this was…

This wasn't funny any more.

I sighed deeply, forcing the madness away as it tried to make itself known to me, tried to force its way into my mind. I made myself harden, like I always did, to the reality that was unfolding in front of me. It was the feeling like when you finally resign yourself to something, the feeling I've felt from people who know their about to die and have just...accepted it. It was like an ultimate finality, a proper resolution to feel something yet without any of the zealousness that it usually involved. To put it bluntly I felt cold, almost numb.

"It was Lorelei," I said in as detached a voice as I could muster, trying to gauge his reaction more than focusing on my own, "it was my sister. Why…didn't you tell me, Crawford, that she was still alive?"

Silence. He didn't move, he didn't speak; he pulled himself so far back down within his mind that it was hard to tell if it was still Crawford standing there or rather a mere mannequin. There were no stray thoughts, no stray feelings, nothing I could use to try and ferret out my own explanation as to why, why in the world he had kept this from me. I couldn't, in my underlying yet steadfastly denied shock, understand why he would do that. Why wouldn't he have just told me that she wasn't dead as he knew I thought she had been? If I had been thinking logically, as the reality of what was happening began to sink into my own mind, then I probably could have found the answer out myself; unfortunately I was finding it hard to just think at that moment, never mind think logically.

He just continued staring at me, the only light on his face being a small reflection on the leg of his glasses, his features masked and hidden. It was another moment, another moment of staring into each others guarded faces before he finally moved. His hand slid from his side, reaching up slowly as he bent his head down a fraction, and pushed his glasses up his nose. Then, of all the things he could have done in the world, he let out a snort of a laugh and shook his head. It was when he let that out, when he let that one little reaction slip, that I wondered whether he had been standing there smirking at me the entire time, whether he had been laughing deep down within himself, at me…

"So she finally makes her appearance," he said smoothly, without any real feeling, making the blood shift awkwardly in my veins as I tried vainly to comprehend the situation, "I was wondering how long it would take you to work up the courage to ask me abut her."

"You…" I whispered meagrely, my throat constricting, and nothing more would come out.

Crawford just took this moment to sit on the arm of the sofa, his unveiled expression now gazing towards the light. It was soft and yet hard all at the same time; it was as if his eyes were looking to somewhere far off, distant, while his face was rooted firmly in the present. This odd juxtaposition made his eyes seem almost unbelievably soft, a strange thing to see on Brad Crawford, especially at this particular moment.

"There's no need to be so indignant," he said, placing his hands on his knees, "if you think about it logically you never have actually asked me about her. In fact, I always thought that you would be happier thinking she was dead than knowing she was still alive."

"And," I said slowly, my mind beginning to wind down slightly as I focused simply on talking, "you thought that you had the right to know what was best for me? What was best for my life when you were walking around every day knowing that that bitch was still alive somewhere and I was oblivious!"

"There's no need to shout," he said coldly, his eyes looking at me through the rims of his glasses, "I've always known what's best for all of you, or is the fact that we are all alive at this moment not proof enough for you?"

"Almost," I hissed out venomously, "although being shot repeatedly doesn't really verify that statement much does it Crawford, that you always know what's best for me? You know what she did to me!"

"I feel no need to explain myself to you," he said back, "what's done is…"

Then I felt it; Crawford's voice fell dead on my ears. It wasn't that Crawford had stopped talking, I could actually still see his mouth moving, but it was the fact that I was suddenly unable to hear him. Something awesomely loud, hideously distorted and mind numbingly painful had just happened only thirty yards away and it was making my brain want to literally crawl out of my ears and hide. I didn't even notice when Crawford actually stopped talking, his face changed, his eyes un-focused in the way that they do when he has a vision. Then he was on his feet and out of sight before I could even gather the piece of mind to call after him. I was too busy trying to make my brain work again so I could figure out what the hell had just happened. My mind ached with the unnaturalness of it, with the abnormality and the element to it that was simply perverted.

Two minds, two minds trapped; tight, constricting, claustrophobic. God, that pain, that sickening pain, it was writhing in my skull. Who had it been? Where was it? What the hell was happening?

I think I must have stumbled upon his mind by sheer accident more than anything else as I raced about. As I tried desperately to figure out the situation I felt my mind passing through something in far more pain than my own. I stopped, albeit slowly, taking time to calm myself before examining this new found psyche. It was crumpled, having been assaulted badly, and was to all intents and purposes only half conscious. As I delved further inside, encountering no hindrances as I scanned the thoughts and feelings, I realised that this could only be…

_Yoji_- I said in a little shock, -_Are you alright?-_

* * *

"Yoji! Oh god, Yoji are you okay!" 

What had I done? What had happened?

"Yoji!" I cried, scrambling over the side of the chair I looked down on his writhing crumpled form on the floor.

I was over the arm and beside him before anyone else could even move, ignoring the rush of feet as I tried to hold the older man still, tried to stop him from shaking, god he was shaking so badly…

"Yoji, can you hear me?" my voice was almost timid now, so…

"Ken what happened?" Omi's worried voice over my shoulder.

"What's going on here?" Crawford's demanding tone above my head.

…so scared. What had I done? What had I done?

"He just, he just…" I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to explain, "he woke me up and…and then he was staring at me…"

"Get to the point!" I head Crawford snap from somewhere near my ear as I managed to finally gather Yoji up into my arms.

"I don't have a damn point you moron!" I found myself instinctually snapping back.

"Uh, Crawford," Nagi's worried voice, "Crawford, something's wrong."

"Gee, figure that out all by yourself?" I scolded.

"More than you noticed," his young eyes pinned me to the spot, Omi looking around wildly and shaking his head.

"We should go," the young stranger's voice intervened.

"Now," the older one confirmed.

"Wait, what was that?" Crawford's tone was confused as he turned away from us all, looking out towards the black couch where the German was emerging from, "I can't hear you Schuldich, what did you say!"

"For god's sakes Crawford," he snapped, struggling over the floor in a slow fashion that was an odd juxtaposition to the chaos over here, "I was just saying that…"

Then the wall exploded. Well really, I mean talk about timing.

I just dropped to the floor, my ears ringing and my head dazed, covering Yoji's struggling body with my own. I could hear him yelling something underneath me as pieces of rock and debris sailed through the air and he entire building shook with the force of the blow. I could feel the hot ionised air rushing past my ears, burying me in dense clouds of smoke. I found my throat closing up instinctually and it was suddenly hard to breathe. I just lay there, praying to whoever needed it that nothing hit us, trying to keep my head when suddenly so much chaos had descended once more upon us; I just lay there hoping beyond hope that it wasn't…

…Silence. The dust settled. There was the soft sound of crumbling mortar, the vague sounds of a voice although I wasn't sure where from. Then soft footsteps sounded in the gloomy atmosphere, filled with smoke and ash, walking forwards towards Yoji and myself. I spluttered as ash filled my mouth, pushing up through the layer of rock and rubble that had landed over the top of us both. As I broke up and through I realised that Yoji was pushing up with me and was suddenly too preoccupied with being glad that he was okay to actually notice the man standing right behind me as we both sat up. Yoji's eyes went wide, I frowned, he pointed behind me but I never got the chance to turn my head.

Weiss, as a principle more than a necessity, have never used guns. That was Schwartz's territory. That doesn't mean however that just because I don't use one that I don't recognise the feeling of one being pressed up against the back of my head. I stilled completely, my eyes going rigid in my skull as I stared at Yoji, his reaction pretty much mirroring my own. I could tell, from his now narrow gaze, that it wasn't exactly the best of people pushing a gun to my head, yet there was something in his eyes, something that screamed familiarity.

"Don't move," was all they said.

I had been still before, almost completely still, like a statue…but when that voice spoke, when the sound and timbre of its every syllable sank into my brain, well, I felt my heart stilling too. I could feel the blood quickening in my veins, the feeling of bile rising in my throat, the thought in the back of my head that I had been speaking to him not only five minutes ago. But then that had been only a dream, and this was…

"Ran," Yoji growled out, his voice sounding as constricted as my heart felt.

I could vaguely hear the noises of the others, people shouting, people talking, I was sure some of them I didn't recognise but…I couldn't think, I didn't want to think, I…

"Ran," I choked out, not feeling choked because of tears but simply through an overload of emotion and fear.

I shrank back inside myself, trying desperately not to move, not to breathe, yet he was there, right there and I couldn't turn my head! Oh god, god five minutes ago I'd been asleep, asleep and as peaceful as I could be and now, oh god he was there and he had a gun and…

_Have to calm down. Have to calm down. Can't…can't calm down_.-

My hands were shaking badly as they hung loosely at my sides, my mind was racing from one thought to the other like a lost child and, and…wait, think Ken, wait and think. Before, I had gotten through to him before…I could do it again. I remembered back to the night he attacked us, to that unfocused look in his eyes, to the way it cleared when I made him remember…

"Ran, please," I said slowly, trying to remain calm, hardly believing that he was here again, trying to kill me again, "it's me, Ken."

There was a pause, a pause where I wished above all things that I could see his face, see if I was having the same effect. I looked to Yoji to see if I could gauge what was happening through his reactions; his eyes had gone wide, incredulous. I thought, maybe that it was working again, oh please, please let it be working..!

"Oh I know who you are Hidaka Ken," the voice was livid in its cruelty, a small laugh echoing out through the air, "and if you want to keep your brain inside that pretty head of yours I advise you not to talk."

And that was it, that was all that it could be, all I could do…

It was over.

AN: Wow, sorry this took so long to write, hope no one minded the wait!I've been moving house and only recently got settled (and got my internet back online!) so I haven't written this fic in a while. Oh well, as ever please R&R it's much appreciated!

Ps: To HeatherR: Sorry I didn't have a chapter ready for you coming back from your holidays! And there's not even any Ran Ken juiciness for you, sigh, I'm such a disappointment he he! Hope you had a good time ;) !


	30. Past Reunion

Disclaimer: I don't own them, just messing for now!

**Chapter 30**

**Past Reunion**

God, this wasn't happening! I could hardly believe, as I simply dropped to the ground, how surprisingly angry I was at the sudden turn of events. Sure I was surprised, even though I'd had a bad feeling, and of course I was afraid, I mean who wouldn't be, but my anger was the most prominent. I was growling through clenched teeth as I lay curled on the floor, hot, burnt air rushing above me, my face buried in my hands as I rode out the storm. Yet, as I thought about it quickly, trying to comprehend what was happening as well as calming myself, I knew what it was, or more precisely _who_ I was angry at.

Crawford and his assurances, Crawford and his usually oh so reliable precognition, it was just lies. He had been careless, and now we were all in danger. I wasn't sure why I was so angry, I just couldn't control it.

It was a good thing in the end though, my rage, because if I hadn't been angry I would never have looked up when I did, trying to search out that cream suit through the chaos, and I never would have seen Schu standing there, hugging his arms around himself away from the blast; I would never have seen the boulder sized chunk of debris rushing determinedly towards him.

"Schu look out!"

* * *

Sometimes I have to wonder why I never really ever thanked Crawford for what he did for me. Sure I've had opportunities, but you have lots of moments in our line of work to say thanks for something or other, be it for someone saving your life or simply passing the butter. Yet I've always found it hard do it, not that I ever felt the compulsion to. I never did thank him, but then I've never given anyone a proper thank you for anything. Gratitude, I think it's one of the thing s that got lost along the way, one of the many…

Yet, right now, when life's turning upside down, it's odd the things that flash through your mind; like wondering how the simple things that once made you human seeped out of your everyday life. I've often wondered just when I stopped caring, but it's hard to pin pint. Sure there are major events that really any psychologist worth their salt would leap on for an answer but…it's not quite that simple, things rarely are. It took its time, this new style of life, creeping up on me until it was forced to pounce. Crawford never was the patient type, or the forgiving type either. Crawford was another who never said Thank You. Perhaps that's why Crawford never reprimanded me for my lack of appreciation, scalded me, even brought it up. So why was I thinking about this now of all times, when I had never even considered it wrong before?

"_So do as I tell you before I kill you myself and save the people I'm protecting you from some trouble."_

Ha, I guess he always treated it more with contempt, like I was more of a chore than his charge. His charge, it always did seem strange to me, but then like most things I tried not to think about them back then. It was just all one big mess that I wasn't willing, or felt I was liable, to sort out. I was just a victim, like everyone else in the world, and when faced with that crossroads, I selected path no.2. The sunny life never really struck a chord for me, I'm just a glutton for punishment. I just wanted to escape the world, to forget everything; yet, in reality, when it came down to it, I didn't really want it all wiped away…

"_God, Crawford help me! Help me you bastard, agh..!"_

"_Hold still and play nice you little shit, this won't hurt!"_

"_Stop, stop! I don't want to forget, get your damn hands of me!"_

"_Give him the sedative; he's not going to clam down otherwise. It's just making my job harder."_

"_No, no, no! You bastard, you knew this was going to happen didn't you! You bastard! Don't make me do it, don't make me!"_

_-If you want to save yourself, you know what you need to do…-_

"_NO!"_

I think, that was the day I really died. Sure my hand was forced, I knew what I was doing and I consciously decided to take action but…I had been fooling myself before then, thinking of the one time before that, the time when I lost everything close to me. That meant nothing to what I lost that day, everything that I had built up around me came crashing right back down to ground zero. I wanted to just curl up and die, but the feeling didn't last that long. I was out of it, but I was coherent enough to fight back. Not that it really bothers me now, but at the time, when I was still new to killing, it had taken everything out of me. I couldn't help but have flashbacks to before, to the only other time that blood had affected me so much as it did then. When I saw it on my hands I couldn't help but start screaming because it was just like that night…when I lost everything. But then, in the end, loosing everything close to me meant that I could only hold on more tightly to what I had left.

Myself. I was all I had left. And I hated it.

I had wanted to forget for so long, all the screams that I wished I had never heard, all the blood washed away by so many tears; but the stains never come out. Some things can't be forgotten, and anyway without them you loose a part of yourself. I am what I was made to be, call it fate, call it justice, call it whatever the fuck you like. I am what I was made to be, no matter who engineered it. To loose that part of myself, it had been unimaginable. On the plane journey there I was thinking over the prospect of being brainwashed as if I were wondering whether the weather would be nice tomorrow. I couldn't really fathom the idea in my head, couldn't ground it to anything familiar, to me it was just another trial to overcome. Even Crawford sat in peace the entire time, flipping through papers as if he were on his way to an important meeting or seminar that he had to prepare for. He hardly talked to me and he kept his mind closed and cold. He even fell asleep at one point, I remember because his glasses fell off his lap and I had to pick them up before someone stood on them and…

…and I remember thinking that it was odd, that I was doing something without being ordered to; I was doing it because I thought, "hey Crawford will be pissed if he wakes up blind", but I was also doing it because I..? What? Cared? Was that what it really was? The thought had thrown me at the time, made me think that maybe I was going mad because I knew well fine that I didn't care about anyone. I wasn't being arrogant, it's just the truth. I knew that I didn't care because I had cared once, and I had never come close to that feeling again. Crawford was a mentor and, of course he had taken me under his wing but, well, he was still different. Even though I preferred him over the others at Rosenkreuz I never once considered him my friend. One didn't make friends at Rosenkreuz, you made allies. And I knew that was why he had looked after me, because I was strong, even if I didn't utilise it properly. I knew why I didn't and I didn't give a crap that I was pissing off the high-ups or even Crawford himself because…I had never cared about anyone since that one moment. So I had just laughed against my palm as I leaned against the arm rest, looking out the window to the darkness of the night with my head in my hand. Wondering to myself just what it would life would be like if I had never even been there that day to see all that blood mixed amidst that one cruel smile.

Not like this.

Not chaos.

Not death.

Not fear and pain and loathing.

When the wall exploded I'd expected something to hit me. The huge chunks of flying debris came close enough, and I didn't notice that one particular death carrying piece until it was too late to dodge it. It just sailed towards me, uncaring, but then the shield that Nagi threw up around me was sufficient enough protection. I remembered smiling as I thought about it, how close I had been to death and I hadn't even tried to move. Was it because I knew I would be saved, or was it because of something else? Did I rely on them to protect me, my team mates? Nagi was protected me, but then I did the same for him. Did he consider me a friend? I had always felt that sort of vibe from him, that he felt there was some sort of bond between us, even thought I wasn't really sure where he had gained this twisted idea. Sure I definitely preferred his company to Crawford's but then who wouldn't? Nagi was fragile and needed looking after, even if he was a tough little bastard at the core of it. I felt like taking him on, under my wing I guess…and what of it? Eh? It has nothing to do with caring so don't even bring the "c" word into this!

"Schu, look out!"

His voice was so full of emotion. I wondered if I'd ever be able to feel that much for someone again. In those split seconds, between the time that I was encased in Nagi's protection to the moment that it dropped and I was suddenly exposed, I felt myself smiling. I mean really smiling, and it wasn't a good thing. It was remorse and it was pity and it was the knowing that I never would feel it; and I felt it all for myself.

When I finally felt hands grabbing my arms, a keen mind penetrating my own distracted one, I hardly even resisted. I tried not to think about the things that it was suggesting I do, the things it was trying to make me remember; like the crimson on my fingertips refusing to scrub off, kneeling on the floor while my body turned numb, the sound of that one gargled choke of a scream that ended in a slow release of breath, like a soul escaping from a body. I tried to ignore the biting of nails into my flesh as the world around me began to blur, the smoke of the explosion twisting around me like mating snakes, the figure beside me becoming more and more apparent even as they tried to shield themselves. The long hair danced wildly as she careened into me, her slim fingers tangling in my shirt and gripping my arms as she picked me up from the ground. I felt my feet leave the earth, my head reeling with the overload of memories; her smiling down at me, that cruel smile…just like she was doing now. It had been the same that night, exactly the same.

I think I heard Nagi calling my name as I felt the wind rush through my ears as if it meant to suck out my very life. I found it hard to breathe, I couldn't shout a reply, I couldn't fight back as I lost myself within my own reminiscence.

Yet I couldn't let myself fall into the oblivion of unconsciousness either, not while I was forcing myself to relive that which I hadn't thought about for so long. I might as well have had it wiped from my mind, I never thought of it otherwise. But then it was different in the end. Not thinking about something was one thing, but not knowing of its existence at all was completely different. When you own it, even if you don't think about it, it's still always there. It lingers, deep down, like a cancer pulsing where my heart should be.

Like the cancer that was holding onto me now, taking me away from all that I had held dear once more.

Talk about history repeating itself.

* * *

"Schuldich! Schuldich!"

I was screaming, I knew I was. Never a good thing to do when you're under attack, never a good thing to do to give away your position to the enemy, never a good thing to do to loose your head when you're meant to be keeping your calm.

But it's not an easy thing to do when someone just disappears before your eyes.

"Schuldich! Schu…"

The impact knocked the words from my mouth, tumbling me to the floor winded and covered by a heavy warmth that pinned me to the floor. The dust rose as we hit, sliding along the floor before stopping, sending up clouds around us making me cough harshly. I tried not to let my emotions make me panic, focusing my power as I began to raise my hands out, pushing back against the weight above me instinctively.

"Don't move," they said.

Crawford. His arms were pushing my own back down from their raised position towards him as he lay on me, waiting before he continued to speak.

"There's something here."

I felt like punching him solely for the obviousness of his statement, but the seriousness in his tone, and the fact that he had uncharacteristically resorted to knocking me to the floor for whatever reason, was enough to make me follow his order. I couldn't see him from my twisted position, my face pointed towards the ground, lying on my side with Crawford half covering me, his hand still on my arm as he stayed silent above me. Yet despite the calmness of his tone I was still raging, even more now than before.

"They took Schu!" I hissed, "They took him from right in front of me!"

"I know," he said back softly, his weight lessening on me slightly as he made to rise, letting me turn my head to get a proper look around.

"What do you mean you know?" I growled, incredulous.

"I saw it," he shook his head, his eyes dark through the misty dust; I noticed his glasses were missing, his suit filthy, "but I was too late."

"Crawford," my voice became even deeper, hoarse almost as I tried to restrain myself, my anger overriding my need to understand my situation, "why didn't you..!"

"Quiet," he snapped authoritatively, standing fully now, looking down on me, "you need to focus Nagi, this is important."

Odd words I had thought at the time, not quite what I had thought he was going to say. Yet I never really had time to think about their deeper meaning because a voice was suddenly calling out through the settling dust, like a siren in the fog. It was clear voice, ringing and yet subtle, familiar and yet warped. It made my blood both freeze and boil simultaneously, although it wasn't the tone that merited that reaction. The figure was becoming more and more distinct as I sought out the dark shape in the white haze, standing over two kneeling figures, his outstretched hand unmistakably holding a gun.

"Oh, and I have to remember to thank you for the help Crawford-san. We couldn't have done this without your, how should I say it…lack of foresight?"

It was his words.

AN: Errrr, ummm, ghhh. I know this chapter is a little weird, and I'm sorry for not focusing on Ran and Ken more considering this is their story, but I'm getting carried away with Schu and Brad. I can't help it! Don't you think that Schwartz are just too irresistible to write because their pasts are so mysterious? Okay, well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! Right, so I will get back to Ran and Ken next chapter, promise! And please review, I'd really like to know if you're all still liking the direction I'm going in! Domo arigato gozaimasu!


	31. The eyes of the Dragon

Disclaimer: I own a twisted mind, the need for blood and gore and bishounen in my stories, but I own nothing else!

**Chapter 31**

**The eyes of the dragon**

****

"Don't move he's got a gun!"

That was the second thing I had heard since the explosion. Simple yet entirely effective words, straight to the point and conducive in their effect; they made me stop dead where I was, hardly even moving my eyes to see exactly who had the gun and precisely what they planning on doing with it. My ears were still ringing as the words penetrated my mind, making me finally look around in confusion and barely disguised panic. I knew that voice.

Yoji's voice, panicked, strained and angry. I couldn't see anything through the still settling dust, my eyes itching, my side bruised and my head thumping with the adrenaline and heat. I coughed harshly and tried to pinpoint the location of his voice through the smog. Yet I stayed where I was, I obeyed his command because, even though I couldn't gauge our situation, when Yoji takes that tone of voice it generally means that we're in very serious trouble. I wasn't going to take the risk, considering what we'd been through lately, that things weren't as bad as I thought they were. I stayed still for that reason, yet also because…

…because that other voice, the one I had heard first after the wall had suddenly exploded, so clear and ringing in its warped quality, was Ran's. My heart had jumped when I first recognised it, clenching painfully in fear and from something else more indefinable. I ignored it as best I could, adopting my business manner. There was no room for emotions here, not after last time, definitely not after he'd shown what he was capable of. Flashes of Yoji being thrown into the wall, Ken's head smashing from the banister, my arrow splattering blood over Ran's shoulder as it pierced his flesh…it wasn't going to happen again, not like that. I would take control of this; no one was going to die, I wouldn't let it happen!

"Yoji," I said slowly yet loudly, hoping not to set anyone off, trying to take this as slowly as possible, "where are you?"

The dust was finally settling, having held in the thick air for unnaturally long, slowly, teasingly revealing my surroundings. I kept crouched where I was, down beside a broken piece of wall which I had barely avoided. The window and frame, jagged and dangerous still held fast amidst the ruined mortar, the heat of the stone radiating against my back.

"Omi?" his voice was steady but low, making me look to my right and squint, scratching my hand across my dusty face and scrubbing at my eyes.

I could see dark shapes appearing, like wraiths in the shadow, until they were finally visible. A long dark trench coat facing away from me, arm extended, a small submissive figure kneeling at their feet, head bowed; it_ was_ him. I swallowed as I quickly realised that Ran was the one holding the gun, that it was definitely Ken who was his captive, kneeling before him, Yoji kneeling in front of them both, eyes hard and staring. I quickly scanned our enemy, taking in the fact that he was holding Ken's bugnuks in his left hand, their soft leather crumpled and torn, the mechanisms broken and twisted. My eyes darted around, trying not to panic, and found Crawford's white figure with Nagi at his side over to the left. There was no sign of Farferello, Schuldich or the strangers, yet in my alarm I didn't let this occupy me. There were more important matters at hand.

"Yes, it's me," I said dumbly, not sure exactly what to say.

"I have to warn you all now that I consider speaking close enough to moving," Ran's cold humour filled voice was enough to stop me once more, "so I would watch what you do from now on. I want everyone quiet, understand?"

Resounding silence. I swallowed; my heart was beating too fast, I couldn't calm myself down. I could feel fear rising in me and I couldn't stop it, it was making me shake. I was beginning to break, I could feel it, the memories of his destruction flicking through my mind double quick, I felt my eyes close and scrunch together; that was, however, until that voice rang out through the silence.

"I think you're the one who doesn't understand here," his childlike voice was mature beyond its years, laced with hurt and rage.

"Nagi," Crawford's warning tone was ignored and I opened my eyes purely out of shock at his lack of fear.

"Tell me what you've done with Schuldich!" he shouted, his eyes blazing deep ocean blue, his hands clenched, his countenance murderous, "tell me or I swear…"

"You-swear-what?" Ran's voice was wholly patronising and devil-may-care as he turned to look at the young boy, affording me a glimpse of his face.

_No_- that was all I could think as I absorbed those eyes, that face; no that wasn't Ran, that wasn't our Aya. His smile was wicked, cruel; Aya never smiled like that. His eyes glittered a deep, deep purple, almost black. I had never seen his face look so vindictive, so twisted, not even when mentioning Takatori. This was surreal, almost like someone else was inside of Ran's body, making him act like this, controlling him…

_Perhaps_…-

"Stop playing with us," Nagi was growling now, breaking my tenuous chain of thought, taking a few brave steps forwards, "you monster!"

"Monster, ha ha ha," Ran stared at Nagi in mock shock before laughing loudly as if he'd just been told the worlds funniest joke, bending forwards as he did, pushing the gun harder into Ken's head and forcing his head closer to the ground, "yes, monster, very apt."

"What do you want?" Yoji interrupted, his tone was a little calmer now yet still held its edge.

"Want?" Ran turned to look at him, hiding his face from me once more, "Me? Want? Ha, you lot really are too much!"

"You must want something," Yoji demanded, shifting on his knees, his hands partially raised in both supplication and defence, "or you wouldn't be here at all. So what is it? What do you want?"

"Oh, I'm afraid that if you're looking for a bargaining chip, which I know you are," Ran leaned over Ken to talk right into Yoji's face, giving me time to crawl forwards while he was distracted, "you've already lost it. It's gone, she took it, not that you've noticed it seems."

"Don't talk about him like that! He's not some inanimate object you can just break and then throw away!" Nagi lifted his hand, thrusting it to the side in a harsh dismissive gesture, "That's all we are to you isn't it? Isn't it!"

Ran was shaking his head now, making me stop instinctively, poised in a time stopped motion. What was I so scared of, treading as if one egg shells, hoping against all hope that I wasn't spotted? That cruel smile was moving in and out of my vision as his head shook back and forth, moving like some twisted marionette with its strings tangled.

"Why..?" the voice was small yet not timid, more broken and defeated in its hollowness, "…why are you doing this?"

"Why?" Ran had stopped shaking his head, looking down at Ken, his expression unknown to me although I wished I could see his face, "for her of course, it's all for her. I thought you knew that Ken, it's always all been for her. This is justice; you of all people should recognise justice, shouldn't you?"

"Justice?" Crawford's voice was low as he stepped up beside Nagi once more, somehow giving me the strength to push awkwardly to my own feet, "This is no justice, this is destruction, mindless destruction."

"Oh but you're not thinking enough about this Crawford-san," Ran chided, bending down to roughly pull Ken up into a standing position, treating him like nothing but a doll, "you're not thinking about what this justice really is. It's what she deserves to receive and what you all deserve to live within. You're crimes are beyond your own reckoning it seems, if you can't even comprehend your own punishment."

"That's not true!" Ken shouted out, his voice an astonishing contrast to the tone he had taken moments before, although he didn't resist physically to his treatment, "We only ever helped you, looked out for you! That's all we did, all we could do; what more do you want from us? You speak of crimes as if we killed your sister ourselves!"

"Ah now you're getting it," Ran pulled Ken back against him hard, making Yoji flinch forwards instinctively, hugging him to his body and speaking right into his ear, "now you're starting to understand."

"This is madness," Yoji warned, very slowly climbing to his feet, knocking rubble away from his feet, "don't do this; whatever's happened, we can help you. It doesn't have to happen like this…"

"No, no you're losing it again," Ran shook his head in aggravation, making Ken squirm in his grasp, shoving his head away from the gun still pressed into his temple, "it seems that you need more educating, still, that's not such a bad thing. You need to understand what this is for, what this is all for."

"It's for nothing," Yoji spat, snarling, "all this for nothing! You're sister is dead Ran, she's dead!"

"Aha, ha, you don't get it," Ran laughed again, "do you? You think I'm that stupid, that absurd? I don't fight causes for the dead! And I won't fight yours once I kill you!"

"Not if I kill you first!" Nagi yelled, his hands seeming to raise instinctually, the energy surging around him before Crawford could react; odd I thought, although it was a fleeting one.

I think I remember crying out as Nagi let his power surge out towards Ran's calm form, the smile on his cruel lips turning to the hiss of a laugh. All I could think was, what if he missed? What if he hit Ken or Yoji in his anger? What if Ran killed Ken before the blast hit? What if..?

"No wait!" I hardly recognised my own voice as I leapt forwards, blindly racing towards Nagi even though I knew it was all too late.

The sound of energy thrashing against energy sent me to the ground once more. White blazed through my closed eyelids, sparking and roaring above my head like some trapped beast. I could feel the heat of it, far from my body yet seeming to surround me also. I had no idea where I was, where the others were in relation to myself, I was blind and alone and frightened. My fear was becoming overriding, my panic raising my heartbeat, quickening my breathing. I couldn't control it, it was wild and thumping through my veins like a drug. I wasn't sure what to do, my mind was racing, even as the sound of fizzling and crackling died away, even as the silence returned I couldn't calm myself. I lay on the floor, my hands over my head, curled up and shaking. What was happening to me?

Then it stopped; no more light, no more screeching, no more confliction.

"Really Nagi," the voice was simply brutal in its condescending tone, the laughter still lacing it, making me peer up and look at Ran once more in disbelief, "tut, tut, tut."

"H-how..?" Nagi seemed to stutter in his rage, staring wide eyed at the assassin in front of him who had failed to move even an inch from his assault.

It was hard to believe, even though I had seen his seemingly new found power displayed before, that this was really the Ran I had lived with before. He was still standing, the rubble around him having been blown away by the blast of Nagi's energy, and yet he hadn't moved at al. It was as if he had simply reflected it, cast it off like an oncoming wind. It was a terrifying thought to me, right there and then, that he could cast off a power such as Nagi's with seeming ease.

"Stop this!" Crawford's voice was commanding, yet it only sufficed to make Ran laugh again.

"Oh, no Crawford-san, you definitely don't understand do you?" Ran said as he threw Ken's ruined weapons to the ground, "I guess I shall have to make you, all of you. But how, how…yes how..?"

"You fucking bastard!" Nagi screamed as Ran simply stood and fingered his chin in thought, as I slowly rose from my crouch, "Where is Schuldich, what have you done with him! Where have you..!"

I flinched visibly at the resounding sound of the slap. There was silence for another eerie moment, but then that was once again broken by sudden maniacal laughter. Ran was practically howling in mirth once more, doubling over in his amusement as he simply stared at Nagi, the young boy's face turned away from Crawford's hand, his eyes wide with simple bemusement and shock. His cheek was turning slowly red, his eyes slowly narrowing.

"I told you to calm down!" Crawford hissed, "Do you think your hysterics are helping the situation?"

"Crawford…" it was all Nagi managed to say, his voice oddly calm as he turned his face round to look right into Crawford's own.

I felt the distinct need to cry out for him to stop again, but nothing would come out. I felt so weak, so very weak and scared that I couldn't even make my voice work. I was trembling and trying to think but failing and the world was falling away. Even as I heard Nagi throw Crawford off his feet, hurtling him to the other end of the room and into the overturned couch there, I felt tears leaking out of my eyes.

"You're all to easy," Ran was shouting now, not even moving as Nagi turned and started to run towards him, his eyes blazing with a light too maniacal to be his own, "so easily manipulated, like puppets; helpless and crude. I don't even have to do anything; you're destroying yourselves for me!"

Then he turned to face me at last, as if I slow motion I watched him turn away from Nagi's ferocious figure and look right into my eyes. The hairs rose on the back of my neck, I froze as something akin to fear petrified my nerves and made it impossible for me to look away.

Flash! A picture of Aya-chan, her white dress flowing in the wind and a cruel smile on her delicate lips.

Flash! A picture of a huge temple, its walls creeping with ivy and stabbed with streaks of dust filled light.

Flash! A picture of Schuldich, draped over a chair, showered in blood.

I felt myself gasping harshly, sucking in the air and dust around my mouth, my eyes going wide as the images continued to flash into my mind. I couldn't take this, where was this coming from, it was too much! Stop it, stop it!

_-How are you enjoying The Fear Omi-kun?-_ said the voice in my mind as I absently watched Nagi attack Ran vainly as if I were watching a child throw paper arrows at a stone pillar, _-I made it especially for you.-_

My eyes began to blur as I watched Ran simply throw Ken hard into Yoji, sending them both stumbling into the pile of waiting rubble. I could feel my arms wrapping around my inert frame, trapping myself to the ground, trying to hold myself together as I feared I would shake myself apart. Was he doing this, making me feel like this? It seemed, as I blearily watched Ran grab hold of Nagi by the hair, yanking him into his tight grasp, that it was something that had been sleeping within me all this time. Yet could he not engineer that too, was he not capable of anything? This man who once been my family, now seeming like a god in my eyes; how could all this have happened? It wasn't meant to happen like this!

"Really Nagi," Ran chided scornfully as Nagi thrashed within his grasp, snarling like a wild animal, "that's no way to behave. Although I can see you're enjoying your Rage, yes definitely enjoying it. But then, where are my manners? I shouldn't be leaving any loose ends now should I?"

His gaze fixed me to the ground as it settled on me once more, I tried to shake my head but my nerves were going cold, a feeling as if my very veins were closing up. I saw him lift his free arm and point it towards me, his eyes becoming hard in concentration, before a terrible surging sound began to reverberate between myself and him. I could see the energy building up inside his palm, but I could do nothing to save myself; nothing. In the end I could only simply watch as it flashed out towards me, jagged like lightening, hot and searing, and imagine what it would do to me when it hit. It looked fierce enough to blast me into a million pieces, hot enough to char me into non existence.

But then I never did find out exactly what it would do.

I hardly even noticed the small red ball drop before my eyes. It was about the size of a marble, polished and shining, and it seemed to glow from within. At the moment that it fell I couldn't help but ignore it, still preoccupied with the thought of my own inevitable death; but then when the energy didn't connect with my body, when it seemed to crash into some invisible barrier not inches from my face, then I took notice of it. And it wasn't only my fortunate escape that made me sit up and take notice; my fear was also suddenly, inexplicably, gone.

"Ah, so that's where you've got to!" Ran shouted, his strangely exuberant face looking up to something above me, "You certainly took your time in showing up."

"This is not the place or the time," a deep voice said menacingly from somewhere behind me, sounding oddly like Yami's yet much older, "you know that."

"Yes, I know that," Ran closed his eyes and smirked, the picture of arrogance, Nagi still squirming madly in his grasp, "and much more than either of you do as well."

"Empty threats will get you nowhere," Tatsuha's voice, although I couldn't see them even when I looked up, a large section of wall blocking my view, "let the boy go."

"Oh you mean this?" Ran smiled appealingly down at Nagi, his sincere expression making his face seem all the more malignant, "but he started it. I suppose I'll just have to show you just how much more powerful I am instead of persuading you."

"What have you done with him you bastard? Tell me where he is, take me to him, anything, just give him back!" Nagi was ranting, raving like he'd lost his mind; it seemed as if his mania was letting him completely ignore the conversation between Ran and the strangers.

"Careful what you ask for…" Ran looked directly into my eyes as he spoke these words, the sound of them seeming to reverberate inside my skull; a warning, "…you might just…"

"No wait!" Yami shouted, his voice once more childlike and worried.

And then they were gone. Just empty space where Nagi and Ran had once stood.

_-…regret it.-_

AN: Hello again! Just realised that I haven't thanked my reviewers for ages! Argh, sorry about that, but just to let you know that their all very much appreciated!

To the Invisible Fan: Yami reminds you of you? Cool! He's actually based on my friend Cat but don't tell her! Sorry to be confusing, but I'm glad you like it!

To Kissos: Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying it, it's good to know! I will try and update as soon as I can, just don't impale me on anything sharp if I don't, please?

If anyone does have any criticism feel free to tell me, although please be constructive or I'll just cry and you don't want that now do you?

Okay, this chapter is trying to further everything along a little and if it seems confusing don't worry because I'm going to start explaining things soon! Wow, shock! He he, okay so please R&R it is much appreciated!

Ps: To HeatherR: Sorry, I forgot to say that I hoped you were feeling better, sorry! Hope your sinuses have given up tormenting you and I'm glad you're still enjoying!

Okay gonna stop writing notes now! See you next chapter!


	32. Familiar ceiling

Disclaimer: I own nothing, you hear me nothing! All rights reserved for Takehito Koyasu and Project Weiss. Also the title of this chapter happens to be the same as the title of an episode from Evangelion: Neon Genesis, but that's just coincidence and I don't own that either…gah!

Warnings: Umm, excessive sibling abuse, violence, swearing, the usual…

**Chapter 32**

**Familiar Ceiling**

"I wish I had an angel

For one moment of love…

…I'm in love with my lust

Burning Angel wings to dust

I wish I had your angel tonight."

"I wish I had an Angel" by Nightwish

"Wake up sweetheart."

The world was quiet save for that one request which, to all intents and purposes, sounded more like an order. I resisted the instinctual want to open my eyes and see who was speaking, instead laying carefully still and silent, hoping they wouldn't notice I had woken yet. Although, considering their words, they'd probably guessed already.

"Open your eyes," a more severe voice said solemnly, seeming louder, clearer, as my mind began to come to itself.

"I thought you said you would bring him back unharmed?" another voice said testily, sweet and childlike.

"I did," the first voice informed them, my eyes slowly fluttering open, "this was how I found him. All this wasn't my doing."

The first thing that registered in my mind when I finally opened my eyes was that the ceiling I was facing was entirely familiar. It was wooden, arched with spindly beams slinking from side to side. The rich wood was lambent with firelight, dancing from some unknown source as I blinked once more. I couldn't see the faces which had been speaking moments before and, when I tried to move, my arm spasmed making me cry out in pain. I closed my eyes and rolled onto my side instinctively, feeling soft cloth and warmth beneath me, my free hand coming up to cover the bleeding hole in my arm; and here I was thinking that it was just healing up nicely too…

"Idiots! Clean up this wound before it becomes infected, hurry up!"

"Yes Lord, right away."

"He's no good to me dead."

"As you wish."

I forced my eyes open at these words, needing to know, before answering any of the other questions that were dancing through my mind, just who these people were. I could remember being grabbed from the abandoned Esset base but the memory was fuzzy and out of focus. It was as if I was having a really bad hangover without even getting the benefit of actually drinking anything. I groaned, my head lolling over the edge of whatever I was lying on, blinking at the blue rug which washed into view. Scratch that hangover shit, I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

"Well sleeping beauty," the first voice said from somewhere above me, "rise and fucking shine."

Despite the fact that one of my kidnapers obviously wanted me back in full health, I had no delusions that this meant I was to be treated like royalty. When a hand fastened itself in my hair and yanked my groggy head upwards to face them I really wasn't shocked at all; what I found there when I came back into focus though was much more, even if not entirely, surprising. And might I just point out, before I record the next event for you, that I am rather proud of the fact that, even though I was out of it, I could still react as quickly as I did. When that blurry smiling face registered in my brain, still only half conscious, it only took me half a second to react.

Lorelei.

"Bitch!" I yelled out, my hand screaming up to collide with her jaw bone, sending her flying back into a small side table holding some floating water lilies; her face was priceless, honestly.

And that was the most impressive thing I was going to do all night; even though I knew that I was capable of standing up I didn't try it. It was too risky, I wanted to conserve my energy and that meant not overdoing it. I mean, I know that punching my sister _was_ overdoing it considering my physical state but, hell, it wasn't like it wasn't immensely satisfying. Anyway, if I stood up now I was bound to be jumped on, beaten more than likely, and I don't think my body was really in the state for taking much more than it already had. First I needed to figure out where I was, just how many of them there were and also the best way out; then I could work on finding my way back to the others.

I pulled myself up onto my forearms and looked over to her as she rose gracefully from the water covered wooden floor, the flowers lying haphazardly between the floorboards. I realised absently that the fire lighting the room was behind her, silhouetting her figure as she rubbed her jaw and smiled. The room was really quite dark to be honest, even though I only seemed to be noticing it now. I was lying roughly in the middle of what seemed more like a main hall than a room, the floor was the traditional tadami (1) and there were two fusuma (2) facing me from the thin cream paper walls held in bamboo frames. The corners of the room furthest from the flames were shrouded in darkness, but I could just make out at the far end of the hall from my feet, the dark rain thrashed sliding windows where the flimsy walls joined to the sturdier outer walls. I tried not to focus on her as she continued to look at me, but in the end she forced my gaze into hers as she walked slowly towards me.

"Well, we're not so sleepy now are we? Pity," the voice was one minute coming from across the room, a split second later right up beside me as she moved faster than the eye; it was like when a song changes speakers mid chorus, disorientating.

"What do you want with me you whore?" I smirked out, feeling my body begin to shake simply from holding myself up on my own two arms, "Miss me that much?"

"As much as the plague," her lip curled with disgust as she eyed me, once more standing over me with her arms folded and her hair dribbling down around her face.

She was wearing a black cat-suit, like something from sixties British fashion, which contrasted with her bright blond hair. She was smirking distastefully down at my prone form, her long painted nails like blood stained claws against the black material. I took another quick scope of my surroundings, trying absently to figure out why this place had seemed so familiar. In the end it didn't take long to figure out.

The mountaintop, the San-Roujin's old place, what the hell was I doing here? What the hell was _she_ doing here? What the fuck was going on?

"Oh, so foul mouthed," she said, breaking my train of thought as she leaned in to look at me, now visibly struggling to stay upright, "or should I say foul minded?"

"Cut the crap," I coughed, trying to force myself back away from her sweet perfume, "what do you want?"

"Oh, the nonchalant treatment hmm? You're acting all unsurprised again, how boring. I thought you would have been more shocked at seeing me but, oh well, if that's the way you want to play it. But really is that all I'm worth to you? Your only surviving family member?"

"You weren't a family member, you were never part of my family!" I snarled, rising to her bait too easily, "You were an adopted and you know it, abomination…"

"Shut your face," she snapped back, one clawed hand smashing down into my face, tearing at my cheek and sending me back to the tier on which I lay; I lay there dazed for a moment, simply blinking at the ceiling once more, "You always were an insolent brat, I remember that much."

"It never did sit well with you did it, being the adopted one after I was born," I smirked, waiting for the blows to keep coming like I knew they would, "it was almost like they didn't need you then, wasn't it? Is that why you did it? Jealousy?"

"Oh you think I'm that easy to goad don't you?" she laughed, her voice harsh with malice as slim fingers and nails spread around my exposed throat, "but it's not going to be like that, oh no, I'll take care of you properly this time."

"I can't wait," I sighed back, closing my eyes once more just to piss her off.

"Look at me you piece of shit," her hand constricted around my jugular in a split second, my own hands flying up to my throat as I gasped for air, "or do you want me to choke you to death?"

The look in her eyes was murderous when I opened my own to look at her, the hand which was crushing me suddenly too tight to be ignored. I wasn't even a little bit shocked by her behaviour, more just pissed off that I couldn't do anything about it. I watched her face constrict in anger as she squeezed just that little bit more tightly, her blonde brows knitting together in fury before she let out a harsh breath and let me go. I heaved the air into my lungs, coughing roughly and noisily as I sucked in lungful after lungful. My hands massaged the bruised flesh of my throat and I couldn't stop my eyes from watering as they stayed fixed on her, her back now turned to me, the edges of the fair hair dancing golden in the firelight.

"It's a good thing for you that you're needed," her voice was cold and hard when she spoke again, still refusing to turn round and face me, "or you would already be dead, don't think that I would have left you alive. Even if meant that I would have missed the unique opportunity to watch your face twist as I drained the life from you…it would have been worth it just to know that I'd never have to feel your eyes on me ever again. It was really disappointing, you know, finding out that you were a part of all this. I was so looking forwards to ripping out your throat…"

"Oh…dear," I hacked out, wheezing a little as I forced saliva down my raw throat in an awkward swallow, "and I t-thought you liked…the sound of my voice."

"Oh yes," she laughed then, her cold eyes glancing back at me over her shoulder, "like nails down a blackboard. But anyway, it's not like I should really complain in the long run, there are other ways to hurt you other than killing you. In fact, it seems so insignificant an amount of pain, death, compared to the suffering I could inflict on you while you're still alive, things to use against you…."

"Ha, I've heard that one before," I said sarcastically, rolling onto my back and staring once more up at the domed ceiling, "but in the end it always seems to come straight back to the physical, don't you find that? Come on Lorelei, you don't fool me, you know that you can't break me, what's left to break?"

"Oh Alaric," she said softly, almost a lament, "sometimes you are so naïve, I always did think that about you. When you were younger it was the naivety of youth, the optimism, the joy…and now it's the naivety of cynicism. You really believe that you have nothing left, don't you? Nothing I can ensnare you with, make you into my little puppet? I wonder how long you've believed that, or how long it will take me to show you that it's all just a lie you've sunk into..?"

"Da es zu diesem gekommen ist," I spat out, coughing once more to clear my throat, slipping back into my native tongue with ease in my anger, "mein name ist nicht Alaric, es ist Schudig."

"Ah, Schuldig, ist es?" she turned around on hearing this, her smile almost playful in its cruelty, her eyes dancing, "sehr passend. Dieses ist gut, ich mag dieses. So namen austauschen wir, schließlich…ich bin Lorelei nicht mehr, ich bin jetzt Schimäre."

"Schimäre?" I said, more to myself than to her, "Hmm, Ich nie bewunderte ihre phantasie. Du überraschen mich…"

There was a soft crash, somewhere behind the thin wall that flickered beyond the fire. I stopped in my tracks, faltering on my last word and looking instinctually towards it. Lorelei, or should I say Chimera now, still stood smiling, not turning towards the noise as any other person would have. Instead her smile only grew, her eyes closing as her teeth flashed soft white and her hand lifted up to push her hair back behind her ear. This of course didn't bode well; if she knew what was going on and I didn't and it was something to make her smile...

I felt a chill up my spine as she locked her eyes to mine, suddenly feeling the need to take back all my words (which is quite a remarkable feat let me tell you) and replace them all with two neat little questions.

"Lorelei…" I started, ignoring her cluck of disapproval and shake of her head at the use of her real name, "…exactly why do you need me here?"

"Oh, back to English are we? And I was enjoying our little chat so much, it's been ages since I've talked in my native tongue with such…veracity."

"Tells me a lot about the company you keep," I spat out, once again trying to pull myself up onto my now weakened arms, "that you have to hunt for lies in their talk, but that's not important. Tell me, why do you need me?"

"Orders, orders," she shook her head despairingly, "you haven't changed at all, arrogant, naïve, stupid…can't you think for yourself?"

"I would if you threw me a fucking clue!" I shouted, ignoring the sharp stabbing at my raw throat, "Tell me you bitch!"

"Testy, aren't we?" her smile was now a grin, "Well, if you insist on knowing your own fate, I can only say that you are required in my Lord's plans and that you don't need to know any more than that right now, or, well, ever if I'm being realistic."

"Great," I snorted, quite sure that this was the most that I would get out of her at the moment, there was no need to ply her just yet; the second question was becoming insistent at the forefront of my thoughts, "but, just one more thing…"

Faintly, in the background, as Lorelei looked to me with feigned interest, started the sound of approaching footsteps.

"What exactly is this…" I swallowed through my dry throat, feeling a horrible nagging sensation in my gut as the footsteps grew nearer; my eyes began to involuntarily flick to one of the fusama that sat to the right of the fire, set far back on the wall, "…what is it that you have?"

"Whatever do you mean, dear brother?" she frowned, seeming oddly intrigued, her head cocking to the left.

"This…leverage," I managed out, feeling the nagging become nausea, my hand instinctually going to my stomach; the footsteps stopped, just outside the door, "what do you have on me?"

This sensation, what was it..? It wasn't the same as the feeling of terror from the Esset base, it wasn't the same at all. That had been horror, blinding…this was nagging, insistent, sickening. Why was I feeling this…fear?

"Oh, that!" she barked out a laugh and waved her hand nonchalantly, "Well, that's an odd coincidence isn't it? It's just been delivered, I can just show you if you'd like? Enter!"

My eyes were riveted to the door, I couldn't move them. I felt horribly like I was being somehow manipulated, yet I could feel no foreign presence in my mind, no tampering…yet something else must have been holding my gaze to it against my will because I knew that if I'd had control of my body that I would have been looking anywhere but at that door. But I couldn't tear my gaze from it, even as it slid slowly to the side and, behind it, stood a tall dark figure carrying a small body in his arms. The firelight danced on them both as the invited man stepped calmly into the room.

I felt the distinct need to throw up.

"Nagi!" I couldn't help but cry, almost falling off the small plinth on which I lay.

Chimera could only smile cruelly in return.

(1) "tadami" – Japanese style wooden floor

(2) "fusuma" – Japanese style sliding doors

German translation: Author takes no responsibility for the (because most assuredly there's bound to be!) mistakes in the German in this chapter considering it's been about seven or eight years since I did any! Also, you can blame my friend Rachel who helped me with it, because she took it to higher heh heh…anyway, here's the rough translation of what it was meant to say, even if it is a load of old bollocks in the German above.

"Since it came to this, my name is not Alaric, it's Schuldig."

"Ah Schuldig, is it? Very fitting. This is good, I like this. Thus we exchange names, at last…I am not Lorelei any more, I am now Chimera."

"Chimera? Hmm, I never admired its fantasy. You surprise me..."

Author note…

Hello! Well, I'm not dead, just very badly burned! Ha, I love Austin Powers, but it really is true this time. I went to T in the Park and DID get very badly burned DESPITE my continuous use of factor 45 sun cream RARGH! Anyway, that is no excuse for the extreme tardiness of this chapter and I do apologise. I hope this one was alright because I've had a long enough time to stew it over in my brain and if it isn't well fermented by now then it never will be! Hopefully the next one will clear some more stuff up…err, I know I say that every time but really, hopefully this time it's true…blame Lien…oh well, I'm off to watch Constantine mow, see you next chapter!


	33. Authors Note

**Authors Note:**

Sorry everyone, this isn't a chapter but please read this short note and I'll explain.

Okay, this is just a short note to let you readers know, especially Gillian Sillis ; ) , that this story is most definitely not abandoned! I'm sorry I haven't updated for about three months, but I've hit a real wall with this one and haven't been writing very well recently anyway! The only thing I was capable of updating was my "Torn from the Past" and that was only because I _really_ forced myself! However, this doesn't mean I'm going to leave you all hanging on the proverbial rope I promise. In fact, I actually have half a chapter waiting to be finished for this story, I just can't seem to figure out where to go with it, I actually have too many ideas and nothing to fill in between them! Stupid right? Right.

Okay, so, I'll try my best to get an updated chapter out to you all within the next week at the most.

Ps: thanks to Gillian Sillis for kicking my ass over this, I'm so bad at getting things done without someone prodding me in the back and asking "when exactly are you going to update, eh?"

Thanks again for enquiring, and being so patient too!

Ro xx


	34. All for One and One for Nothing

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz, only my sick twisted imagination and a copy of "The Princess Bride" to which I owe a lot of my torture implements.

Warnings: Violence, swearing, torture.

**Chapter 33**

**All for one and one for nothing**

"Schuldich, put that down!"

"What this?"

"Yes, **now**, I mean it!"

"Oh right…why?"

"Just do it!"

"Fine, fine, I'm putting it down already…what the hell is it anyway?"

Nagi sighed sharply through his nose in aggravation, his young blue eyes riveted to me as I stood in front of him with the inevitable smirk plastered on my face. He crossed his arms slowly, not taking his eyes from my emerald green ones while he steadfastly ignored the rest of the people milling about the shop around us.

"All you need to know," he said slowly, pulling the fragile object from my hand with his power and lowering it the couple of inches back onto the flimsy stand, "is that it is very expensive and I don't think Crawford would be too happy having to fork out three hundred thousand yen just because you have a tendency to drop things!"

"Alright, gees!" I rolled my eyes and snorted, prodding the stand simply to exacerbate Nagi's temper, "Not very strong is it, this thing?"

"That's it!" he growled darkly, his head bent forward to shield his burning eyes from the old woman walking past us admiring the crystal objects, "We're leaving!"

I didn't really have any say in the matter considering Nagi unceremoniously "pulled" me out of the shop after him without touching me.

But oddly enough, as my memory insisted on playing itself out, we didn't end up in the department store when we exited the brightly lit doorway surrounded by expensive, sparkling, crystal objects. Instead we were suddenly back home…well, home as in the first place I can remember us all being together, as a team that is.

Nagi was staring at me, all four and three quarter feet of him, and I just smirked back. We were standing in the hallway, in front of what looked like Brad's study with its large wooden door, and Nagi was glaring into my eyes for all he was worth.

"Didn't go down too well than, hmm?" I said with slight amusement in my voice.

"That's none of your business," he said back shortly.

"Well, I could have told you that, but I could just make it my business," I felt my smirk widen and I probed at the edges of his tumultuous mind, "I do so love watching your embarrassment Nagi-kun."

"Shut up," he said back darkly, turning to limp away from me down the dark corridor, his shoulders set and his head held high.

"Hey," my voice changed, suddenly holding more concern than humour, taking a small step after him, which turned into two, until I was following him down into the pitch blackness at the end of the corridor, "wait, Nagi…he didn't hurt you, did he?"

And when I walked into the darkness it surrounded me like a blanket, my limbs going all soft and warm, like I was sitting down on a feather bed or…

Or a couch. Laying out, okay so I was sprawling on the couch while Nagi leaned against it while sitting on the floor. He was watching the large television screen, flicking images across the rug from us. He was scribbling in a large A4 pad which seemed to dwarf him as he sat with it on his upraised knees. I blew into his hair subtly to distract him, trying not to laugh as he ignored me.

"If you don't stop doing that," he said calmly without turning his head, "I'll have to rip your brains out through your nose."

I smirked broadly, rolling my eyes as I moved my head back to rest it on my folded arms, listening to the succinct sounds of Brad's computer keys tapping in the next room.

"Well if you're going to start making threats like that, I really think that's enough Ancient Egyptian History for you today," I snickered, picking up the remote from my lap and pointing it to the screen; however it was plucked from my grasp before I could press the channel change button and hovering beside Nagi's feet before dropping onto that ground, "Hmm, or not then."

"It's for school Schuldich," Nagi said back tersely, showing that I was finally getting to him, "I need to watch it."

"Whatever braniac," I said back, sitting up and stretching myself, "why don't we do something fun instead?"

"This is fun," he said back matter-of-factly.

"Oh, yeah, right, let me rephrase that then," I said back as I let my arms fall down to rest beside me, "let's do something I find fun."

"I'd rather not," he said back quickly, "not with your twisted imagination."

"Oh, thanks Nagi," I said with a smile, smirking in my mind as I thought of just the right way to get on his nerves, "you sure know how to compliment a guy. Give me a hug!"

Either he thought that I was kidding or he was too busy focusing on the television to really notice my threat, whichever it was he didn't move out of the way fast enough when I reached down and practically squeezed him to death.

"Arghh, Schuldich get off me!" he yelled, twisting and turning as I slowly squeezed the life out of him.

"Aww, don't you like me any more Nagi?" I teased, shaking him a little just to really niggle at him, oh now this was fun..!

Flash! Click…buzzzzzzzz.

We both stopped mid antagonising, slowly, anticipatorily looking up to the origin of the odd sound. Farferello stood there casually, holding his Polaroid camera in one hand and waving an undeveloped picture in the other. We both just stared at him.

"I needed a new photo," he said casually, "all the others are too full of holes now, the knives just fall out of them without even sticking…"

"Hey, no way!" I sprang up, shaking myself out of my daze, letting Nagi plop back against the couch, "no way are you using me as target practice!"

He didn't even move as jumped up and snatched the photo from his hand, shaking it in his face to emphasise my point while I ranted at him. He simply shrugged, sniffed, looped his camera back around his neck and walked off, probably in search of another victim.

"Yeah, just you run!" I smirked after him, shaking my head as I watched him disappear around the corner; then I looked down at the photo.

I had my back to Nagi but I could feel him watching me as I stood, silent, just looking at the thing in my hand. I think Nagi must have noticed that something was wrong because he stood up, putting his crumpled pad onto the floor, and stood behind me, poking me in the back.

"What's wrong?" he asked in his best I-don't-really-care-but-I'm-just-curious tone.

"Nothing at all," I said back, blasé.

I just swatted him off, shoving the photograph into an inside pocket of my green coat that I hardly used other than to conceal documents. He snorted before backing off, my back was still turned to him but I could tell he was still watching me.

"What the hell kind of bug is up your ass?" he said grumpily, slumping back down onto the couch.

"Oh you're too young to know about what's been up my ass," I smirked back as best I could, turning round to watch him with a predatory gleam in my eye.

"Uch, like I'd want to know even if I was old enough!" he said back with disgust.

"Hmph," I said, slouching back down onto the couch again, watching the television with vague interest, "you're no fun."

Silence but for the commentators voice.

"What are you going to do with the photo?" Nagi asked casually, smoothing out the top sheet of his pad with a soft crinkling sound.

"Don't know," I shrugged, shifting slightly on the cushion and sniffing, "not entirely the most flattering picture of me really."

"Why don't you just throw it in the bin then?" he said as if it was the most obvious thing to do.

"What, and risk letting that psycho get his hands on it again?" I said with a deep frown, "You'd have to be crazy, and I refuse to let him practice knifing me between the eyes, he's good enough with that thing as it is."

"Then burn it," he said, giving me a look.

"Why do you care so much?" I said back shortly.

"I don't care," he replied with feigned apathy, "I'd just rather not have you holding onto pictures that I'm in, the thought disturbs me."

"Aww, don't worry Nagi, I promise I won't use you in any of my twisted fantasies…"

"God Schuldich that's it, give me that photograph!"

"No way, it's mine, get your own..!"

"Give it to me now before I really do pull your brains out through your nose and store your organs in jars and..!"

"You really are watching this tuff too closely Nagi, I'm worried about you, really…"

Then it was suddenly fading. Like the photograph did, like the memories always do…the walls lost their white glow, the television began to slowly melt into the floor and disappear with the rest of the furniture. I realised that it was only Nagi and I left in the gathering darkness, huddling against each other, our faces grave, Nagi's eyes wide and worried…then that voice…

"Stupid fuck!" the fist slamming into my face seemed only an after thought however to the wrenching pain of her claws still digging into my mind, "Stop resisting me!"

Again the closed fist smacked heavily into my jaw, sending me reeling back, my head lolling to the side, the only thing holding me up being the chains binding my wrists to the ceiling. I hardly even noticed when she kicked me forcefully in the stomach, yet I hacked and coughed all the same; I may have coughed up blood, but then how would I tell considering my face was already covered in it?

Still think I'm in the mood to joke? When am I not..?

"You'd better start getting a clue little brother," her voice was silken with anger as she stood over me, taking my jaw in her claw like fingernails and hauling my face up to meet hers, "I won't hesitate to use any means available to get what I want out of you. And after that happens, when I don't need you anymore, I'll kill you. So, it's simple really, almost as simple as yourself…choice one, you suffer a long painful hardship for nothing and I still get what I want. Choice two, you give me what I want and I put you out of your stubborn, abominable misery right now."

I slowly began to focus on her face, coughing as roughly as I dared just so I could splash a little blood on that seemingly immaculate pale skin, watching as her cruel, sharp eyes became ever clearer. Of course, it's not as if I needed to see her eyes exactly to make sure that she wasn't bluffing, I think that she'd already made that abundantly clear; but still, seeing the sheer malice and cold calculating ambition burning in those eyes, it hit it home to me just how deep in this I was.

I was alone, trapped in the constricting arms of the enemy who, from what we had seen so far, had powers beyond any of us, and somehow I had also managed to drag Nagi into this as well and then promptly loose track of him too. Great time I'm having here, can't you tell?

"Of course," I rasped out past my split lip and bloodied nose, "you _could_ always just use option number three and let me go, just a suggestion though."

"Oh, of course," she said wryly, dropping my face in disgust and letting it loll there in front of her, "I forgot just how stubborn you are, and just how annoyingly persistent you sarcastic sense of humour is."

"Insatiable is the word I like to use," I sighed back, trying once more to reach my mind out to Nagi, and once again failing miserably.

Six hours.

Six hours I'd been trapped here with my sister kicking the living shit out of me every five minutes, well, that's when she wasn't shredding my mental capacity into bite size chunks. And it hadn't taken me long, about five minutes in fact, to realise that I couldn't use my telepathy in this place. Inside my head it was safe, normal, apart from when _she_ was there, but if I dared venture outside…well, lets just say it wasn't pleasant. It was like being crumpled up like a piece of paper, crumbling like dust and ash under a harsh wind, loosing yourself…I couldn't stand it, it was just like…like the time they had tried to take away my identity, when they'd tried to wipe my mind clean. And of course, even though I was bound in chains and not going anywhere fast, I had a haunting feeling that I wouldn't be able to use my speed either. There was something in the air of this place, something oppressive, something draining. It made you feel weak, hopeless, tired…just the right conditions for an interrogation ne?

"You know," I heard the distinct sound of a lighter clicking on, suddenly feeling the distinct urge to have a cigarette creep under my skin and sit there, "it really would be easier for you if you just co-operated. I mean, not that I don't mind torturing it out of you, but still you are my family and, well, I can afford to be generous from time to time."

I didn't answer her, not even with the large array of biting sarcastic comments clamouring to get out of my mouth, it would be just what she wanted anyway. Instead I just hung there, loosely sprawling on my bent knees, my chained wrists rubbed raw and torn, my head falling back making my spine bend unnaturally and start to ache. My upside-down view of the world only served to nauseate me further, yet I couldn't find the energy in myself to simply lift up my head. Sometimes, I thought to myself as I watched the fire send sparks skittering into the grate, you really do take the little things for granted.

Her heals clicked on the floor as she walked round behind me, coming into view like and eclipse over the fireplace. With her dark black body outlined with those roaring flames, it really did seem like I was in hell. Her long blonde hair was slightly matted at the ends with blood, and there were smears of red all over her cheeks and throat. Even her black cat suit bore blotches of velveteen black where it was stained with gore. In fact there seemed so much on here that I wondered just how much I had left to spill. But I didn't dwell on it, I mean, I'm sure that she can spin out whatever's left…I doubt she wants to rush it.

"Of course I doubt, no I _know_ that you wont co-operate with me, I mean why would you?" she laughed a little, dropping the cigarette into her mouth and sucking on it slowly, ponderously, "It's just more satisfying knowing that I've given you the chance, you know? Then it's your own stupid fuck fault when I finally break you into little pieces and throw them in the fire. Ha, yes, I like that look, keep that up."

I didn't really know what she meant by "that look" considering I wasn't even focusing on my expression at that moment. Perhaps I was being subconsciously hateful, who knows, but still I don't know how she could have told what my expression was anyway considering my face felt such a mess. Maybe it was my mind she was reading, but then how could she read my mind when I couldn't even make it outside my own head without being forced sickeningly back inside? Perhaps this curse was only on me? Or perhaps she was being protected from it..?

She knelt down slowly, finally coming to rest so that her face was the same height as my own. She caught my stare with her piercing blue eyes and wouldn't let go of it. It was as if she was trying to bore right through my skull just with her baleful glare alone, and it wouldn't have surprised me if it had worked. Of course, considering she had been hacking away at my mind like a machete through deep jungle foliage for the last six hours…I still didn't know exactly what it was she was looking for. She hadn't given anything away, not a single slip up of the tongue, not a glimpse through our metal bond, nothing. Yet, thankfully (or perhaps not so) for me she still hadn't found _it_ yet, as she so liked to remind me, usually with her fists.

Her eyes were heavy and lidded when I finally focused back on here, ignoring the dribbling sensation of the blood from my nose running down my throat, or the multiple lacerations along my face stinging like hell. I blinked, painful in itself, and simply watched her. She took another drag of the cigarette, the light from the fire dancing on the twirling smoke and against her golden hair. She smiled a little, a cruel twist to her face, and blew the smoke out into my eyes. I closed them involuntarily, but couldn't help but cough roughly as the unfiltered smoke tried to force its way down my throat. Her husky laugh was both dizzying and infuriating, both of which I was in no state to show her.

"You really are a little freak," she snorted, standing up straight and casually stubbing her cigarette out onto my exposed collar bone, ignoring my hiss of pain, "anyone else would take the easy option, but not you, even though both choices have the same outcome. How fruitless, how naïve, how stupid…how very _you_ little brother."

I hacked a little, finally managing to open my eyes again, even though everything was still blurry and painful. She walked back round to her favourite position, in front of me, looming over me like some Lord of doom. Ha, how cliché! I could feel her smirk more than see it, considering I still had a very good view of the upside down fire and my back felt like it was going to break from the strain, and tried not to groan with frustration. I knew that she was going to kill me, I'm not stupid enough to hope that she wouldn't, it was just a matter of getting out of here before she managed to take from me what she needed. Easier said than done of course, and I still needed to find Nagi too.

"Of course, there are more things to loose than your own pathetic life," she was saying, accompanied by the cold scraping sound of metal on metal and a latch being opened, "and I know that I used to know you as a selfish little brat with no regard for anyone else but…well, I think that I can see you've changed since then. Huh, I really would have thought that you would have learned at least that little rule from your delightful time at Rosenkreuz, dear brother…never care, never befriend, never love. Ever. But then, I guess I shouldn't be complaining! Your stupidity is my gain, and oh what a bountiful gain it is."

A long, sharp nail descended on my skin, practically lapping in the blood that it scratched over, feeding on the flesh that it tore into. I withheld the whimper that trembled in my throat, even when she grabbed me by the hair with her other hand and hauled me up into a sitting position. I thought my back would break from the strain, but I ignored it, ignored it as best as I could, like I had been doing to everything when she started tearing me apart. Of course she raked through my mind while she tortured me, gouging my brain out to prod at probably would have hurt less, but I didn't intend to just sit there and take it. That was why I threw every old, insignificant memory I could grab to hand into her path, blocking her way to the prize she sought in my mind. Anything would do, something from Rosenkreuz, sometimes Nagi had pissed me off, sometime Brad had tried to shoot me in the head…however most of them seemed to be about Nagi; guess I am just a little worried about him. Of course I still didn't know what she wanted from me, but that didn't mean I was going to let her take it without a fight nevertheless.

I watched the smoke drift out of her mouth like a soul escaping, as if she had any soul left to loose anyway. Her face was calm and cold, her fingers slim as bones as she pushed her hair back from her face. And, as she closed her eyes, in foresight of me spitting in her face, which I did anyway (when was I ever one to disappoint?) I tensed at the sound of a door opening somewhere. I had my back to the wall leading to the corridor and thus couldn't tell who was here, especially without my sorely missed telepathy. Of course, smirking, my sister solved that for me. With a lightining quick movement she had her hands under my armpits and was hauling me roughly round on my knees, my legs crying out with the sudden rush of blood, my wrists screaming at the movement. Yet I didn't cry out, no way no how was I giving her any satisfaction! I simply gasped as quietly as I could, straining to lift my head so I could just see…then he spoke however.

"I brought the other one," Fujimiya Ran said coldly yet aloofly, his long bangs dancing over his amethyst eyes as he stood like a monolith in the bright doorway, "anything else you need?"

"No, that's fine, he's all I need right now," she said with a smile before dropping my head like a lead weight to dangle above my chest, my eyes desperate to look up, "you can go now…or stay, if you like..?"

"No thank you," his voice wasn't disgusted, more…bored, ignoring Nagi as he slumped bonelessly down to the floor at his feet and blinked absently "I've had just about my fill of mindless gore tonight. I don't want to over eat now, I have to save room for seconds of course."

"Hmm, of course," she said with dark humour, "well, the others should already be on their way, our Lord has sent the message and set the trap which I'm sure they're stupid enough to run right into."

Oh…oh no, please…Nagi.

"Crawford-san has always been a great strategist, very admirable really, it's a shame he has to die really," for a moment she actually sounded almost remorseful, and it was enough to slightly unclench my suddenly tense stomach at the thought of what she was implying, "however he did betray us, and for that, well…I can't possibly let him live, or his "friends"."

"No," Ran agreed offhandedly, "you're right."

I stared at Nagi in sudden fear; I had been thinking about him since I was imprisoned here and now, with him right in front of me, I became distracted! I had to centre myself, had to get myself together if I was going to do this! At least I didn't have to worry about finding him now but…well, if _she'd_ asked for him to be brought here, I didn't want to even think about why.

-Stay fucking focused for fucks sakes, or you're never getting out of here!- I shouted to myself, -or you are **never **getting out of here!-

However, it was just about as painful looking at Nagi as it had been under Chimera's care. His eyes were overly large and...absent looking as they stared ahead of him, seemingly unseeing. His limbs looked drained and limp, useless as a rag doll. His chest rose a fell with a spasmodic trend, as if he was having a fit, or like a fish suffocating out of water. I wanted so badly just to say his name, just to say it and see if he would look at me, even with that absent stare as long it was directed _my_ way..!

"Nagi," I whispered as our captives continued to talk amongst themselves, seemingly uncaring to our correspondence, or even existence, "Nagi, please…"

Slowly, agonisingly, the pupils dominating his irises turned up towards my own. His breathing seemed to even just a little, enough to make me feel just that little bit safer, and his fingers clenched into a small fist as he watched me as if I wasn't there.

-At least you're in there kid,- I silently sighed, -at least…-

"Schu…" I stopped mid thought, forcing my eyes back to him as his thin pale lips strained to form words, as if against their own volition, "…I'm…empty…"

"Nagi," I coughed out, "what do you mean? Have they hurt you?"

"Empty Schu…I'm so…" his eyes wavered, falling down to the ground like raindrops into the sea, lost in an instant, "she stole it…from me…I can't…"

"Took it? Took what Nagi, please..!"

"Oh that!" her voice was not a welcome interruption and I didn't take my eyes off Nagi as she addressed me, although he did seem to sink even further into the floor on hearing her voice, "Well, ha, you'll find out about that soon enough brother dearest, soon enough."

I didn't like the sound of it, not one bit; and it had already happened to Nagi? God, the kid looked drained of life! Is that what she meant, is that what they'd done? God Nagi I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I got you tied up in this, you're only here because of me, only here because she'll use you against me…

No. No I won't have it, I can't…not again…I wont let you do this to me again!

Please…Brad…don't come here, stay away from me, from us…I can't loose this again, not because of me…

Brad…I…

I _can't_!

AN: Right, sorry this is so abominably late and a thousand billion apologies to anyone who was waiting on this story being updated! I really do love you all for reviewing so far and it's you who's kept this story up, especially when I get lazy or cursed with writers block. So THANK YOU SO MUCH to all my reviewers and also to anyone who reads this story and enjoys it (go on, leave a review, you know you want to!). I hope not to be so tardy again, honest! Yeah I know I say it every time (eek!) but I will try!

Thanks again to Gillian Sillis, you were a great help in getting me to write this chapter, so I hope it's you enjoyed it!

Ro xx


	35. Wana

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz or any of the characters therein, but I do own Lorelei…unfortunately…

Warnings: Violence, swearing, Crawford being an asshole, the usual…

**Chapter 34**

**Wana (1)**

I'm sure I've mentioned previously my dislike of waking up on the floor after falling under the sway of my power, and especially after having a vision strong enough to knock me senseless. I think that, considering the circumstances I found myself in when I awoke, coughing slightly at the dust still tickling my throat and nose, my eyes blurred through lack of glasses and my suit in need of a thorough dry clean, I wasn't exactly pleased.

Pleased at my situation, or at the vision I had only recently had.

Well, considering I had been unconscious at the time of its arrival I guess you could call it more of a dream than a vision, but that's a mere technicality. What was important was that I knew that it was going to happen, and more importantly I knew where it was going to happen. Of course, even more important than all these things put together, I seemed to have regained full use of my power. However, I suppose I'm not really making much sense here, forgive me the indiscretion but I had just woken up lying on cold concrete covered in filth and none too comfortable.

My vision was about him again, about Schuldich. Inconsiderate bastard, letting himself be captured so easily! Foolish, to have just _stood_ there and let her…and now they had him, and Nagi too. At the time I admit that I hadn't known what to do, I was at a complete loss as I simply watched him vanish on the spot as I tried to shield myself from the exploding debris. I could have sworn that I even saw her too, just a glimpse of bright golden hair, perhaps red nails…Lorelei, it had been a long time, but not long enough before I had to see her again. It was ironic that the first time I had met Schuldich had been when I was working with Loreleri, not that he knew that of course but…well that's neither here nor there right now. What was important was that she had reintroduced herself in the most appropriate of ways.

Through my vision.

In my mind, she was killing him. Oh, but it wasn't just a normal kill, a swift merciful bullet to the skull, a quick flick of a knife, even tearing apart his mind with her power…no, she was torturing him, doing things that made _me_ shudder with the very thought…And in the background, arms folded and eyes like slivers of ice, that same indiscernible shadowy figure from my first vision of the journey, the tall man swathed in long black garments who had reduced my team to nothing in mere minutes. The man I could now easily identify as Fujimiya Ran, the man who had stolen Nagi from right out of my grasp; just as I was falling into unconsciousness I could still hear him screaming, through what I couldn't tell. And then everything had fallen deathly quiet, and it had all turned a misty grey, swirling and dancing behind my eyelids. It had seemed like an eternity before the vision assaulted me in the first place, and another until it finally ended, leaving me cold and sore and worried beyond all comprehension, lying on a lumpy concrete floor in the semi-darkness.

"Hey, Yoji he's awake," I blinked and coughed again as I tried to roll over, ignoring the voice shouting from somewhere to my left, ignoring the screaming in my limbs as I forced them to move, "no wait, don't move yet, you need to rest."

"If I rest here any longer," I grated out, roughly shoving away the hands that descended onto my shoulders, trying to keep me still, "then it will do more harm than good."

"Huh, well, have it your way," Siberian snorted back, the sound of his shoes scraping on the rough floor edging back before I heard him sit down heavily on the ground, "at least we know you don't have memory loss or concussion, you are most _definitely _Brad Crawford."

"Shut up," I tried to say dangerously but only managed a rasp, "and help me."

"Tch…fine," he acquiesced, once more pushing himself up the wall and walking over to me, stretching his hand out for me to hold.

He was a little rougher than necessary when pulling me to my feet, but at least he didn't deliberately try and break anything. My legs practically screamed at me to fall over again once I was standing up on my own, the places which had been most severely beaten after Nagi had thrown me across the room becoming more apparent with every passing second. My arms were battered and sore, I could feel bruises on my ribs and my chest hurt like hell from where his power had hit my at point blank range. However, looking back at the situation, even though tension was high and I was only trying to limit the damage Nagi was causing with his temper, I do think that I probably deserved what he did. Huh, I know what you're thinking…well, there's a first time for everything right?

I blinked again in the gloom and tried fruitlessly to peer around the room we were encased to and discern where we were. I failed miserably, not because I didn't recognise my surroundings but more because I couldn't see a foot in front of my face. The blurry walls seemed to fade in and out of focus and the lights seemed to flicker sporadically as I swayed ever so slightly, my lack of sight making me slightly unbalanced.

"Here," I turned at the sound of Siberians voice behind me, only managing to make out the host of coloured blobs that comprised his form stepping towards me and handing me something.

I took the small silver blobs and sighed in terse relief as my fingers closed around the thin metal of my glasses. At least someone had been courteous enough to pick up my glasses after we…

…wait, just minute what did happen after I blacked out? How did we get here? Just where the hell were we? I placed my glasses quickly onto my face, my lips tightening in annoyance at the large diagonal scratch over the left lens and the slight crack near the top. There were, however, more important things at hand.

"Where are we?" I asked quickly yet professionally; I was in no mood to play around.

"Heck, quick on the questions aren't we?" Siberian said with a quirked eyebrow, his thumbs slipped through his belt loops as he regarded me with slight distaste, "you could at least manage a thank you, right?"

"…I wouldn't hold your breath," I said back after a slight pause, my hands involuntarily going to my tie to straighten it even though I knew that it would hardly matter now, "tell me where we are and I might consider it."

"We're hiding in a non-descript basement, in a non-descript warehouse in a hardly visited estate on the edge of town," said a new voice from behind me, "and so far, I think we're doing quite well."

I turned my back on the still rather annoyed looking Siberian to face Balinese who, now that I could see, had walked in through a door at the far end of the long narrow basement we were in. The ceiling was low and adorned with pipes and fan boxes, a large disused boiler sitting in the far corner along with a dilapidated fuse box with half the fuses missing. The rusting pipes running from the boiler to the ceiling made it look like some horrible fairytale monster, old gnarled fingers creeping up the mildewed walls to reach for the cracks in the ceiling. The dismal light was coming from two wall mounted cage lights on either wall, hardly forty watts between them, which cast a sickly glow over the narrow room.

"That wasn't exactly helpful," I said wryly, fixing him with a look and waiting for more information.

"Well alright, we're in the industrial estate in Kobe to be precise," he answered with a slight shrug, rubbing his right eye and stretching his neck, "not too shabby really, despite the, umm, disrepair of this building."

"Yes, quite," I said, clearing my dry throat, "surprising considering it looks as if its abandoned."

"Yeah well," Balinese continued, talking away as he walked over and slapped the wall firmly, "after the earthquake in '95 all the buildings in Kobe underwent reconstruction. This estates pretty new, so they already have the safety features fitted. Nice and sturdy, nice and deep, I thought it fitted our needs perfectly."

Balinese turned back to me and began to stare with an unknown expression as he watched me take in the room, my arms again subconsciously wiping at my suit sleeves to brush off any dirt, as if it really made any difference. Then, when my eyes stopped their wondering and finally came to rest once more on him, I realised he was smiling, even if only slightly.

"Something you find amusing?" I asked coldly, pulling myself up to my full height even though I knew we were matched in that area.

"Well yeah actually," he snorted, smile turning to smirk, "I never thought I'd se the day when you were seen dead in anything but pristine white Crawford-san."

And, now don't ask me why although I suppose I can guess as to the reason, for some reason that smirk, it sparked my memory. He looked, just for that split second, just like…and that made me remember, even more clearly than I had when I had first awoken and it had been fresh in my mind. Of course Schuldich hadn't been smirking in my vision, he had been screaming…and Nagi was nowhere in sight.

"Why don't you cut the jokes and focus on the situation?" I said back icily, my temper trying its best to flare up against my will, thoughts of my team mates dancing through my skull, "Where is Farferello?"

"He's fine, he's next door with Omi and the other two," Balinese said as he let his eyes wonder from my own to look around the room as I had done, taking small precise steps around the floor leading him in random directions, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Good…well then…," I said slowly, yet coldly enough to seem entirely apathetic, "he really did take Nagi."

"Yeah," Balinese said in confirmation, his wanderings placing him with his back to me as he spoke, his voice rather terser than I though it would be, "…and Schuldich is gone too."

"I know," I wanted to add "all too well" to the end of my sentence but I didn't think it appropriate…however… "why did we flee the other warehouse?"

"Well, I hate to be a stickler for common sense Crawford," Balinese said raising an eyebrow sardonically, "but I don't really consider a half knocked down base, the position of which is known to and been infiltrated by the enemy to be somewhere I'd like to hang around."

"Fine," I said back tersely, trying not to slip into cool anger and blow any fuses, "why here?"

"I already told you," he sighed stiffly, "because it seemed a good idea and it was close too. Besides, I was trying to shake the cops off our tail and it kind of led us here."

"The police?" I said softly.

"Yeah, you know them, "Balinese grinned, his eyes glinting feral in the gloom, "short stocky guys, loud voices. Well, I know that our wall was blown up back at out first base but that was small scale really; having half your building taken out is another thing altogether. By the time we bundled everyone into the cars and found our way to the exit back onto the main road, they were just turning up. Typical."

"…Still," I said slowly, "Kobe, it's quite a drive, any real reason you came here?"

"What's your problem Crawford he said we were being chased!" Siberian, oddly enough having been very quiet until now, yelled into my ear, his eyes narrowing as I watched his hand go to his temple and rub at it furiously.

"Yes, quite," I said back smoothly, ignoring him once more as I decided that this conversation was heading the wrong way; I always was good at putting things back on track, like I did with my next statement, "I know where they've been taken."

That made Balinese's mood spin around fast enough, although I found it hard to fathom why. Was that concern in those jade eyes, so similar to _his_, and was that a flicker of hope that danced behind jet black irises? Why would Balinese of all people, considering his uncaring attitude anyway and the fact that these people were his enemies…why did he seem relieved by what I had just said?

"Where?" I heard Siberian ask, walking round to stand to my right, almost half way in between Balinese and myself, looking at me with a stubborn yet slightly pained look.

"It was a vision, a strong one at that," I explained, not really willing to give up my information just yet, considering he hadn't exactly been forthcoming with his own when I wanted it, "and I'd recognise that building anywhere…"

"Where?" Balinese said with a slight growl, taking a small step forward in what seemed an unconscious threat, "Where is he?"

I smirked at that. "He" is it? Just "he"? Which "he" I wondered to myself, not that I had to wonder too long, it wasn't exactly difficult to eliminate the obvious, Farferello, Nagi, myself, and be left with…I couldn't help but feel a slight pang of fear at the thought, but also something else as well, something much more dangerous. I decided that putting the conversation back on track would be a clever idea right about now.

"Abyssinian was there," I said smoothly, not able to help but stir the situation just that little bit further.

However, even though I had been rejoicing only moments before over how my power seemed to be back to normal, I did not foresee Siberian leaping at me like a man possessed and smashing me up against the wall, his claws firmly imbedded in my ruined suit.

"Why don't you just quit with the attitude smart guy, it's really staring to piss me off! You want to watch your team mates die a horrible death in your own head then be my guest but I won't let you hold out on me! Tell me where Ran is, now!"

I was actually, believe it or not, startled. Of course, I had been feeling that all too often recently, what with my elusive power. I simply blinked back at him, my own eyes calm as they regarded his own raging amber orbs, his fingers actually ripping the material as he tightened his grip on my jacket, shoving me harder into the wall. Balinese hadn't moved a muscle or said a word to stop him, in fact he seemed quite content with this form of questioning. Of course, even considering the fact that we had been working together since this all began and all that had happened you'd think we'd get over our differences and work together, we were still enemies. There was no changing that. Yet, if Balinese really did care about _him_…then, well, my theory was blown wide open. Perhaps it was just that they still hated me, I could deal with that.

"The San-roujin's mountaintop retreat, on Mount Rokko" I said back slowly, my hands coming up to remove Siberian from my person, and finding it slightly more difficult than it should have been, "that's where they were taken, and that's where we're headed. We'll find your precious Ran there, along with my team mates."

"Good," Balinese said, although it seemed more to himself than to the two of us, "then we head out as soon as we can. Crawford-san, come next door with me, there's food and water," I think he noticed my look of confusion as to his caring for my health because he added tersely, "you're going to need your strength. I refuse to have to carry your heavy ass anywhere ever again after hauling you here."

I bristled visibly at that, but still I wasn't going to turn down the offer of food and water. The last time I had eaten had been when Siberian and I had been waiting on Schuldich and Balinese's return from the nightclub, and even then it had only been an apple that I had found on the worktop. I guess I had all but put hunger out of my mind, and the fact that I hadn't bathed in almost four days, well…there really were more important things on my mind.

**/Omi/**

I hadn't felt so relaxed in what seemed like an eternity. Even though I could tell that the blanket draped over me was rough and itchy I still couldn't bring myself to push it away, the warmth was too enticing. As I slowly, unwillingly groped my way back into consciousness I began to realise that, even though I had felt so very relaxed and at peace when coming out of my sleep, I could now feel the bruises forming on my skin, the scrapes and cuts along my cheeks and hands. I tried to ignore them, tried to force myself back into that wonderful dreamless state, but unfortunately I could only seem to become more and more aware of my surroundings. More aware of the dripping sound somewhere down near my feet, more aware of the strands of fibrous blanket itching at my nose, more aware of the fingers laced through my hair, the hand heavy and warm. They were soft and gentle, and even though I could feel my eyes opening as I became fully aware, they seemed to want to lull me back to sleep again simply with the reassuring weight.

"We can't rush anything," I absently heard a voice say from somewhere to my left, "remember what happened last time?"

"As I remember you weren't so adverse to the plan at the time," another smooth voice replied, "and time was of the essence, we needed to do something fast…just like we do now."

"Yeah well there's no point in thrashing a plan together just to save time so that we can miss the flaw in it and loose Ken and Omi this time…"

"Do you really think this is helping?" the other voice said back so sharply I was surprised it didn't take someone's eye out.

"Well if it stops you from doing something stupid then yes, I do."

Slowly I shifted my hand up from its resting place curled around my chest and rubbed at my eyes, yawning quietly into my wrist as I pushed up on my elbow and let the stiff blanket fall down a little from my shoulders. The hand too slumped down from my head as I raised, but at that moment I was more concerned with the voices coming from the other side of the room. I blinked the sleep from my eyes and peered over to my left, finding Yoji and Crawford under the light on the opposite wall, Crawford standing and Yoji sitting back against the wall with his legs stretched out. His face was drawn and tired looking, his fingers rubbing hard at the bridge of his nose while the others twitched from lack of a cigarette to hold. Crawford was as cool and calculating as ever, seeming to loom over Yoji, yet there was something about him that didn't seem right, something that seemed to dull his eyes, make his fingers fidget with stray strands of string from his torn suit. He seemed preoccupied and, for a moment, I wished that I had Schuldich's power so that I could see into his mind for just a second, see what he was thinking.

Of course Schuldich was gone now, and Nagi too. Was Ran with them, was Ran with them both now…with that blackness in his heart and that look in his eyes, not the look I wanted to see? After Ran went mad I tried to make myself believe that he'd just lost it, gone insane, that he was attacking us because he didn't recognise us anymore and thought we were the enemy. But that's not the way it is, he knows who we are, he knows what he's doing and he seems to…enjoy it. I shuddered and licked my lips anxiously, looking to my right and blinking softly. The sleeping face of Yami greeted me, his mouth hanging slightly open as he breathed softly into the musty air. His hair was mussed and snagging on the rough plaster of the wall making him look like some angelic medusa. I couldn't help but smile slightly, thanking him silently for the comfort he probably didn't know he'd given. I couldn't even remember falling asleep on him, but then, I was pretty exhausted.

"Oh hey, Omi," I turned at the sound of my name, the blanket dislodging fully as I sat up straight and stretched, smiling weakly at Yoji, "you're awake."

"And glad for the sleep," I said softly, turning back to look at Yami and finding him blinking sleepily at me, his small mouth gaping into a wide yawn.

"You've only been asleep for six hours," I turned fully round to look behind me for the origin of the voice, finding Tatsuha sitting on a crate behind me, a small switch blade in his hand which he seemed to be sharpening on a small broken pipe shaft, "but then in a situation like this, you should count your blessings."

The sound of him scraping the knife along the pipe was surprisingly soft, more as if the knife were shaving away at the pipe than sharpening itself on it. But then, with all the weird things that had been happening recently I wouldn't have been surprised if it was. Tatsuha's long blonde hair was looking as worse for wear as Crawford's suit, all matted and dirty, although the man himself seemed surprisingly alert and unharmed. He simply continued to sharpen the blade, his eyes periodically flicking to Yami to check him over before returning to the job at hand.

"You hungry Omi?" Yoji asked, pulling himself wearily up the wall and slumping over to a small ripped paper bag, pulling out some water and onigiri (2) and offering it to me.

"Yeah, thanks Yoji-kun," I smiled, taking it from him and trying not to look too desperate as I tore through the wrapper and stuffed the onigiri into my mouth, chewing off a mouthful and spilling the rice into my hands, "where's Ken-kun?"

"Next door," Yoji said with a look of concern mixed with irritation, "says he has a headache, doesn't want to come through right now."

"Oh," I said back, swallowing the mouthful of food dryly before ripping open the water and finishing half of it greedily, "by the way, what were you guys just talking about Yoji-kun, have you found something out while I was asleep?"

"Yeah, yeah we have," Yoji sighed, giving Crawford an odd look which the other man, now sitting against one of the dilapidated machines next to a sleeping Farferello, ignored completely, "Crawford reckons he knows where Schuldich and Nagi are…and he says that Ran's with them."

I continued to wolf down my food, gushing the water down my chin in my haste to just finish it so that it would be done. Then at least I could do something without feeling hideously guilty or hopeless. Something that didn't inevitably remind me of what had happened six hours ago, in that seemingly peaceful reverie from the violence and despair that had descended the day Aya-chan had died in front of us all.

But then, what with the message I had found just before Ran had attacked us, and the fact that he'd talked about his sister when he met us last…and his new powers, I wondered if she truly was dead, or if perhaps Esset had been lucky enough to resurrect their "god" into her fragile body. I shivered again, wiping my mouth onto the back of my sleeve, shaking off the pieces of rice that stuck starkly to the navy blue material.

-Ran and Aya-chan…if I'm right then,- feeling a tug I looked down at my sleeve to find Yami's hand clutching at my elbow, his dark eyes wide with some indiscernible emotion, -what does this all mean?-

"That stone," I asked suddenly, sensing more than seeing Tatsuha stop sharpening his knife, all the eyes in the room seeming to focus on me as Yami looked at me in confusion, "that little red stone that dropped in front of me when Ran attacked, was it yours?"

"…Well," Yami blinked sheepishly, looking a little worried, his eyes flickering back and forth between myself and Tatsuha behind me, "yes, it was mine."

"What was it?" I asked more eagerly, something in my brain telling me that this was important somehow, even if I didn't understand why, "It stopped the blast from even touching me didn't it? It did, it was incredible!"

"It's just a…" he stopped dead as I heard Tatsuha rise from his crate behind me, his hand falling away and curling against its counterpart in his lap, his eyes wandering away guiltily.

"Wait, what are you talking about? What stone?" Crawford's voice was stiff and clipped as he broke into the conversation, and I remembered that he would have been unconscious when Yami saved me.

There was a silence, during which Yami did his best to avoid my eyes and everyone else transferred their gazes from me to him. Oddly enough, considering how quiet, subdued, and even dangerously misanthropic Tatsuha usually seemed, he was the one to break the silence.

"It's alright Yami," he said, sounding oddly defeated, "you might as well tell them, it doesn't matter much anymore."

"But Tatsuha-kun…"

"No, tell them," he said bitterly, his voice becoming a little strained, making me turn and look at him in concern, "it's too late now to change the course we're on."

"But it's not time, you said we had to wait," Yami's eyes were wide with worry, a dawning comprehension, as he looked to his friend.

"I told you that I'd see this through," Tatsuha shouted back, his eyes blazing with unforeseen anger, his mood leaping closer and closer to unmitigated rage, "and I meant it!"

"No, wait don't Tatsuha!" Yami cried out, startling me, but even then I couldn't take my eyes off of his tall friend as he simply grabbed hold of his mass of wonderfully blonde hair and cut through it with his switchblade.

I don't know why I gaped at him as he let the mass of curling strands fall to the dusty, water stained floor, but I felt that I must be mirroring Yami's actions. He looked distressed to say the least, his large dark eyes holding some deep pain at the sight he'd just witnessed, but holding it back as if afraid to show it.

"But now you'll…you'll be stuck here with me…" Yami practically whispered, his eyes falling to the floor.

"What the hell is going on here?" Yoji interrupted his voice loud and filed with perplexity in comparison to Yami's, "What are you, crazy?"

"Did you have a good reason for doing that?" Crawford asked wryly, picking at his suit while watching the other man inscrutably.

Tatsuha, for his part, seemed to be the least distressed or confused person in the room, apart from Farferello who was asleep. He had already folded his switchblade and slipped it back into a hidden pocket somewhere, and was now standing with his hands resting on his hips, his head hanging forwards slightly as he looked at the ground. His newly severed hair seemed to fall perfectly around his strong face, the ends not split or really that uneven…in fact, it looked kind of like Yami's…

"Yes well," he said with a sigh, surreptitiously peering at the folds of blonde lying at his heels, his look betraying the fact that he might be slightly regretting his seemingly rash action, "it's too late now, and anyway, I wasn't planning on leaving you behind at any rate."

"Tatsuha…" Yami said softly, not making it any further as before his hands flew to his mouth and he swiftly burst into tears.

"What…what is going on here?" I asked them both, although it might have seemed like I was asking the world in general considering my tone.

Tatsuha ignored me, walking over to Yami and kneeling down to put an arm around him, not seeming to mind when the other threw his arms around his neck and continued to cry. I moved back instinctually, not wanting to be part of such an obviously personal display. Still, my mind was reeling a little from the strangeness and the large unknown factor hanging over this entire show. I felt like I was watching a foreign film without subtitles, I could see everything happening but none of it seemed to fit together.

"Hey! Will you two quit it already!"

I jumped at the sound of Ken's voice, looking over my shoulder to find him standing in the doorway to the other room. His face was twisted in anger and pain, his eyes slightly bloodshot and his glare directed at the two hugging in front of me. I opened my mouth to quiet him but I wasn't quick enough.

"In case you didn't know, man with a headache here!" he shouted out, wincing at the sound of his own voice, "Keep it down already!"

"You're one to talk," Crawford smirked nastily, turning his attention back to the strangers as Ken turned his glare onto him, "you two, explain all of this."

"Yeah, what the fuck is going on around here?" Yoji asked, although his voice sounded more confused and slightly sulky than angry.

"We might as well tell them," Tatsuha said into Yami's ear, the younger boy leaning back from the embrace and gulping some air into his lungs, wiping his eyes as he nodded a little unsurely.

They both stood then, and I with them, shuffling back a little towards Yoji as I did. They both looked at each other, the light behind them sputtering a little as it illuminated them as they prepared themselves for whatever they were about to say. However, Ken was the first to speak, his voice slightly hoarse, so ragged with pain that it sent worry flooding instantly through my veins. Suddenly, he didn't really sound lie himself, like he had only seconds before; he sounded lost and scared, confused and…

"Just who…who are you people?"

And with that he slumped bonelessly to the ground, silent.

(1) – "Wana" "Trap"

(2) – "Onigiri" (also called _omusubi_)--a ball of packed white rice either mixed with or stuffed with savoury condiments and wrapped in a sheet of _nori_ (laver seaweed). (My note on this is simple: YUMMY!)

AN: Considering it has been a while since I have seen the series of Weiss Kreuz I may be getting some things wrong so please forgive me if I do. Also, considering my memories pretty bad anyway, I couldn't remember where about in Japan it was set, or if I ever knew anyway heh heh! Well, after trying to find out and failing, I decided that I would just choose somewhere, so I came up with Kobe Port because its geography fits nicely. I thought that if I had the old Esset base where they were attacked be in Osaka then it would also fit even more nicely (oh and also it was on the outskirts of Osaka, so that it wouldn't be too far from Kobe for Yoji to drive). So if this all seems too much just tell me because I can't even remember myself, hope this doesn't spoil it for anyone, gomen nasai!

Alright, I know I didn't explain anything and left a big cliff hanger, nasty aren't I? Mwooahahahahhaha! Hchrm, however, I do have some new ideas for this story so I should be okay with explaining everything, as long as you don't think I'm being too weird! I decided to draw on some mythology and, with the way the stories been going so far, I didn't think it would be too out of place either. Hope it's not becoming too freaky for ya!

Oh yes, and to my reviewers, Heather R and Gillian Sillis, thank you! And to everyone else who read it too!

Heather R – As ever, you're guessing my plot lines again, argh! Lol, that's okay though, it just means we're on the same wavelength, so hopefully you'll like this chapter heh heh! Ah don't worry about kicking the evil peoples asses, they always get theirs nyuk nyuk, you don't have too long to wait! And I'll just take the opportunity to say thanks for being such a great reviewer !HUGS! you're so great, it's more help than you know!

Gillian Sillis – WHOA! That's the biggest most concise review I've ever received! You didn't leave anything out he he! Thanks for that, and again for kicking my ass into gear, it really helped! Yeah, don't worry about the Ran Ken side of things, they'll be heating up soon mwoohaha! As if I could hold out on my little bishies for so long! I don't think I can take keeping them apart much longer!

Okay, so I'll see you all next chapter and, considering it's a cliff hanger, I'll try not to keep you too long!

Ro x


	36. Repercussion

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Weiss Kreuz or any of the characters or situations, only a twisted mind which even then belongs to my insane muse! Ah! I own nothing!

**Warnings**: Violence, angst, gore, swearing (pretty much the whole package…)

**Pre-story note to HeatherR** – This is an apology in advance considering, in your last review, you said that you "don't particularly relish the torture parts". There's going be a quite gory scene in this chapter and it's quite near the end, so I'm sorry but it's necessary! You'll see why! Just thought I'd warn you, now on with the story…

**Chapter 35**

**Repercussion**

It was as if, even as I felt myself hit the ground, the solid concrete jarring my skull with the impact, my already sore and battered body taking the brunt of the blow, I just kept on falling. It was as if the floor had never even existed, or perhaps that I was just suddenly too ethereal in substance for it to sustain. I watched in silent horror as the faces of my friends and enemies sped away from my quickly blurring eyes as I continued to fall, their yells travelling as if through a piece of foam, distorted and muffled. I was falling into darkness, nothing but the small patch of reality, seeming like a television screen in size and quickly shrinking and just as unreal, rushing away from me too fast for comfort. My clothes flapped wildly around me, as if actually caught in the winds of my fall, the air being sucked from my lungs and I even felt the distinct rushing of blood from my head as I fell head first into the unknown.

All around me was darkness as I plummeted, the pace quickening until the real world seemed only a spec in the distance, Yoji's blazing eyes winking out like candles in fierce wind, his face disappearing even as he yelled my name. His breath was caught in the same storm that seemed to have swallowed me up and suddenly I was alone. I could feel bile rising in my throat, my headache throbbing wildly, and I felt the distinct urge to yell; however I also felt the distinct urge to vomit so I decided not to open my mouth just yet.

What was happening to me! Was this concussion, was I dying? What, what is this place, where am I falling to…why can't I wake up? What's going on..? Only the distinct sound of blood pumping rabidly through my ears and the rushing of wind greeted my questions, and no answer was forthcoming.

Of course, that was until I landed.

I hadn't actually been banking on it, landing anywhere, even though I had rightly been _falling_, even if only in a dream sense. Or so I had thought anyway. It wasn't so much a landing as a sudden lack of movement. I simply came to a stop, such an unobtrusive and sudden stop that it was almost as if I'd never moved at all and the feelings I had experienced had simply been the effects of the overwhelming nausea I had felt before blacking out. That was until the sound of rushing wind slowly dissipated, leaving behind instead the calm burbling of what I was sure was a stream. The blood rushing furiously through my ears also slowed leaving behind the quiet rustling of a breeze. My heartbeat steadied and the lack of rushing wind allowed me to breathe once more, even though I didn't remember actually stopping. Just like I didn't remember closing my eyes, yet when I finally "landed" I found that I had to open them. When I did however, what I saw was the last thing I had been expecting.

I had been expecting Kudo Yoji's worried face.

What I received was an eyeful of Fujimiya Ran.

He was looming over me, face cast half in summertime shadow, his hands placed on either side of my head and his eyes boring into my own as they must have been before I even opened them. I swallowed loudly, my mouth suddenly dry and useless as I could only stare at him in complete and utter shock, inadvertently noticing the way the breeze ruffled his hair and twirled around his dangling crimson ear tails, the way the sky was startlingly blue behind his black clad back and that there were blue gentians dancing all around us.

For what seemed like far too long a time for anyone to politely stare at anyone I gawked, open mouthed, at Ran. He didn't seem to notice however and simply kept up his own unblinking game of out-staring the hideously confused Ken Hidaka he was practically lying on top of! I blinked three times in rapid succession and then tried shaking my head; neither of them took me back to reality. Again the distinct urge to throw up welled in my throat. I pushed it back down with an audible swallow. Put it this way, if I had been wearing ruby slippers I would have clicked them.

"…Uh," I finally managed to push out, although it sounded more like a strangled cry than a confused wondering, "R-Ran, you…what..?"

"Sit up," he said suddenly, cutting me off and pulling back to sit on his haunches displaying his lean chest trapped under skin hugging black cotton, "come on Hidaka I haven't got much time!"

What can I say, how can I refuse him? Even when I suddenly find myself at the mercy of another of my tantalizing and awkwardly strange dreams after fainting for no good reason onto the concrete floor of an abandoned warehouse, I still can't say no. Oh well, at least I knew that this wasn't some sort of subconscious journey of self discovery; it was simply telling me everything that I already knew about myself.

When I finally managed to pull up into a sitting position, rather awkwardly since Ran was balancing steadily over my knees, I couldn't help but gasp. We were sitting in the midst of a sea of blue, swaying gentians, sporadically sprinkled with long green grass fighting through to the sunlight. They waved back and forth gently in the breeze, rippling as if waves were actually tipping up and down over their surface, melting off into the light blue horizon. The only fault in the almost smooth surface they created was our small indentation and a meandering crease where the stream must have been flowing, the gurgling noise pleasantly missed with the rustling flowers.

There were gentians waving lazily in front of my face, gentians swirling down by my hands, even gentians spreading into the trees I could see a little way away. Wait, trees? Was I…I was on a hillside?

Covered in gentians.

With Ran.

So it is a dream, well, at least we've cleared that one up. Now things didn't seem so very surreal, not that, considering everything that had been happening to us recently, anything really seemed surreal to me anymore. I was taking these dreams in my stride now, practically waiting for them to jump out of my subconscious at me and throw me into a fantasy world that usually involved Ran in some aspect or another, and also a lot of silly philosophical nonsense or arguing. Not exactly what I was looking for out a dream involving Ran, a pity really because before this all happened and Ran was just the cute silent guy who prepared the flowers on a Tuesday afternoon and was good with his sword in a fight was so much easier to dream about. This Ran was complicated and, unbelievably, much more difficult.

Hard to believe isn't it?

"Where are we..?" I breathed out, the sight of the long sloping hillside, awash with deep blue flowers under the pale, crisp blue sky couldn't help but take my breath away, even if none of it was real.

"I don't know," Ran said back, pulling my eyes back to him almost involuntarily, "I don't know anything much anymore."

"Ran..?" I started, feeling suddenly embarrassed by the fact that he was practically sitting on me, even though it was only a dream so…, "umm, what do you mean?"

"But I do know one thing Hidaka," his eyes blazed fiercely as he spoke, ignoring my statement and pinning me to the spot, "I'm not supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to be trapped in this place, forgetting my own name, forgetting my own past and to all intents and purposes adopting yours!"

"Ran, I," I stuttered, alarmed and unsure and confused, "please I don't know any more than you do! I don't know why I keep dreaming about you, honest I don't! But don't shout at me okay?"

"I'll shout at you if it'll get a result!" Ran yelled back, practically pouncing forwards to grab me by the collar and hold his face only inches from my own, his hard amethyst eyes boring into my own; and, even though he seemed angry beyond belief, I couldn't help but be reminded of that kiss, that one kiss I could almost believe had really happened, even though it had only been another dream…

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" I said back in slightly annoyed alarm, my hands coming up to push at his bare shoulders.

"I want answers, I want to know how I find myself again! You have to do it Ken, do you hear me? Are you listening?" he growled so low that I could feel his hot breath puff against my face before the breeze snatched it and carried it away.

"Y-yeah," I muttered out, my heart pounding unsteadily in my chest for more than one reason, "I hear you."

"You have to Ken, you have to put me back, you have to find me! I can see myself, I can hear him you know, sometimes…" Ran's eyes, only moments before so keen and sharp, seemed to turn dreamy as he practically looked straight through me to something I could not see, "I've seen things, terrible things, I don't want you to see them too…but, I don't want to see them anymore, understand me? You have to take me back!"

"I'll…I'll try," I managed to scrape out as he once more focused on me intensely, pulling himself out of his reverie, "I promise you, that's what we're doing now, that's what we've been doing from the start! I swear Ran, I'll find you, I won't let you down!"

I felt his fingers relax a little, my collar creaking slightly as he let the leather go, pulling back a little to look at me properly. His eyes had softened slightly and his hair was a little mussed making him look oddly innocent considering who he was and how he had just behaved. I found myself smiling at him slightly, despite my confusing situation and the fact that this was Ran and no one in the right mind would ever smile at him like I was and hope to get away with it. Yet he didn't seem to notice my smile, in fact, when I became a little wary of his vacant stare, I noticed that he didn't seem to be seeing anything at all. I sat forwards in my sitting position, my legs still stretched out beneath him, placing my hands behind me for support and to help push me forwards. He'd gone deathly still and silent, his eyes taking on that same misty quality they had only moments before. I felt a twinge in my temple as I watched him, bringing a hand up to rub at it absently and cursing under my breath that I was sill able to have a headache in my dreams.

"Ran?" I practically whispered, waving my hand in front of his face and frowning when he did not react, "Ran are you there?"

I almost jumped out of my skin when he finally reacted, not just from the sudden movement but also because of the look in his eyes. I had only rarely, usually during a very disturbing moments involving his sister, seen fear in Ran's eyes. She had seemed to be the only thing in his life that he feared losing, anything pertaining to himself or any other human being did not seem to bother him in the same way. However now his eyes were wide with it, still misty but the fear shone through. He stared at me for a moment before his lips finally managed to move.

"He's coming…" he said softly, "…get out of here…"

"Ran please don't go, wait, I can't move…" I stuttered out, shaking my head and trying to pull back, to extricate myself from between his legs.

"No, no more excuses," he said harshly, his eyes suddenly narrowing perceptibly and making me frown momentarily…wait, what _did_ he mean "he's coming"?

"What do you mean no more excuses? Who's coming?" I asked warily, watching Ran with as keen an eyes as I could muster as he once more pulled away from me and began to smirk.

No. No wait, I had seen that smirk before…

"Ran…" I said warily, "are you alright? Ran..?"

"I told you excuses were not acceptable but if you refuse to comply…" his eyes wondered away from my face, flicking to the flowers at his shoulder, "I will have to remind you how we deal with disobedience."

And when he turned back to look at me, when his now cold, hard yet malice filled eyes locked with own I felt myself start to scream. I don't know why I was screaming, simply that I was, and that I needed to wake up, fast. As his eyes had locked with my own I had felt the fear, just like the fear I had seen in Ran's eyes moments before, just like Schuldich's fear back at the Esset base, pierce my brain and bein leaking into my nervous system. I was shaking my head, feeling an odd sinking feeling in my stomach like the sensation of falling from a height, and tried to make my flapping mouth say something useful. But nothing came out, and all I could do was lie there as Ran advanced on my fear stricken, prone form, his claw like fingers digging into my thick jacket sleeves as he crawled his way up towards my face. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even look away as he came closer and closer towards my face like a spider creeping over its paralysed prey.

All around us the beauty of the scenery was disappearing. Large black bulges had appeared like storm clouds in the sky, seeming to burst like bubbles and run down an invisible surface like ink down a wall.

_-Wait, wait they are walls!- I registered, -there are walls dripping down around us!- _

I tore my terrified gaze from the sliding black substance that was erasing the beautiful morning sky and looked back to Ran, my eyes wide, tears spilling down my cheeks, my head throbbing intensely, the fear I was feeling so extreme that it was making me tremble. The walls continued to appear until they had extended down past the stream, cutting off its cheerful gurgling, passed over the sun until nothing but an eerie orange glow was left. But the glow wasn't coming from the sun, it was coming from behind the silhouetted, crouching figure of Ran.

There was a raging fire behind him, fizzling and popping and roaring and I couldn't take my eyes from his demon like form as he continued to advance upon me. The flickering light it threw into the room that had dripped down around us showed the vague outline of large rain spattered windows, tadami flooring and fusuma tucked into the long walls. I felt as if I were tied to the ground yet I could not tear my gaze away from Ran to check my bonds; it was as if my limbs could still obey me but were simply obstructed from doing so. I felt the bile rising in my throat again, the screams finding it harder and harder to make it out of my throat. Ran stopped about a foot from my face, leaning over me from a kneeling position, the firelight glinting off of his sharp shoulders and sparkling in his eyes. His voice was as cold as ice when he finally spoke again, yet alight with the fire of passion, malicious passion.

"Let me show you how we get results."

Even though we were cast in darkness as Ran was blocking the only source of light, I could still see his arm reaching out towards my face. His fingers were long and cruel looking, bone white and thin with sharp nails which flexed as they approached. I wasn't screaming anymore, now only breathing rapidly, chocking on my own vomit as it rose to the back of my throat, and trying desperately to free myself. My head throbbed piercingly but I hardly noticed it, captivated as I was by Ran's talon like hand as it didn't deviate from its path. The fingers converged into a row, like you do when you pick something small and delicate, and then continued, almost painfully slowly, towards me.

Then I realised, realised what he was going to do, I don't know how I suddenly knew, and I know that all that was really running through my head was that I needed to wake up, needed to wake up, Yoji for fucks sakes wake me up! He's going to pull out my eye for fucks sakes, stop him, STOP HIM! Help me, somebody please help me! God no Ran, please! Stop! STOP!

But no one came, and I swear that I could actually feel his long nails ripping through the delicate layer of the cornea, tearing into the lens with a blinding pain that wasn't overridden by the sheer shock of the act itself. I screamed then, flecks of vomit coughing from my mouth and spattering onto my face. At some point his other hand must have curled into my hair because something was holding me still, something held me in place as I wailed and tried to escape, my hair being yanked fiercely as I squeezed my other eye shut out of pure fear and agony. I felt my tortured eyeball burst nauseatingly and the vitreous humor poured down my cheek, my wails more whimpers now as my headache tripled and left me completely helpless, shivering and mewling beneath Ran's cruel hands. I hardly even noticed as he dug his nails further into the socket and then pulled hard, splitting the ruined eyeball from the optic nerve with a sickening pop.

"That, my dear Schwartz, is how we deal with traitors…" Ran was saying almost soothing, patronisingly, as he ran his fingers through the sticky clear liquid congealing on my right cheek.

I didn't reply, I couldn't, because at that moment I felt a sickening lurch in my stomach and suddenly I was floating, the exact opposite in feeling to before when I had been falling. I could still feel the empty space where my eye had been as I watched Ran spiral away from me, the body he was left holding seeming oddly familiar yet, in my state, I didn't have the presence of mind to thin about them. The cold air picked at my wound, wiping away the vitreous humor that stained my cheek like a injury in itself.

I didn't actually remember waking up, but Yoji told me later that I woke up screaming, clawing at my eye like a man possessed. He wasn't far wrong, I felt like a man possessed. Once I had calmed down, finally come back to reality, with my team mates and enemies once more staring down at me with worried expressions, I felt the sickness in my stomach dissipate. The feeling in my right eye returned slowly, the memories of the dream still disturbingly too close for comfort however. I still felt the distinct need to throw up but suppressed it, trying desperately to listen to what Yoji was saying to me, watching his mouth move with a detached fascination.

"Ken, for fucks sake Ken say something to me! Are you alright? What happened Ken, did you have a fit, a dream, what happened? Tell me!"

I turned my head to the side, trying in vain to pull the rest of my physically and emotionally battered body along with it. I felt my eyes blur and then, with an impressive show of strength managed to push Yoji out of the way before I spewed violently onto the dusty concrete. I heard Yoji hiss and step back along with other muttered concerns and disgusted comments of the others. I couldn't focus on them however, not clearly, not with that acrid taste in the back of my throat, drifting up my nose, and with Ran's cruel fingers still fresh in my mind. Then only thing that I managed to hack out, pushing back so that I could shift even just a little bit further away from the pool of cooling vomit, was something to answer both Yoji's question and to discredit something that I had thought earlier in my own "dream".

"That," I said hoarsely, "was no dream."

**AN: **Argh, I'm such a horrible person! I don't know if anyone's figured out exactly what just happened there, if not then I'll explain it all next chapter, and I know I say that every time, but this time it really will become clear. I also promise to explain about Yami and Tatsuha as I feel bad about leaving it as a cliff-hanger for so long! But, yes, there you have it, the gory chapter! Forgive me, I had to have one, and my evil muse Lien is just a gore whore so blame him, it's all his fault, nothing to do with me honest! Right, anyway! Hope you liked it and please leave a review! Sorry this is late and all but I've had a bad case of writers block combined with having too much stuff to do.

See you next chapter!

Ro x


	37. Unrealistic Reality

**Chapter 36 **

**  
Unrealistic Reality **

It was dripping water in every corner of the room but the one in which we sat. Albeit it was still cold, but at least it wasn't damp. Ken was still shivering, but even though the air was chill and the stone floor sucked the heat from you, I knew it wasn't because he was cold. I had pulled one of the thick sacking sheets over for us to sit on, something to keep the cold at bay, and also just for comforts sakes. He looked like he needed comforting right now, not that I was entirely sure how to give it, as he huddled into the corner with his arms around his knees and shivered. Every now and then, as the others talked, or Omi brought him over the last of the food and water, he would dart his eyes up and look at me. He would never look at the person standing in front of him, the people sitting at the far wall, only at me; and even then the glances were short and full of worry. I sighed, shifting a little closer to him along the wall, ignoring the fact that the stone was colder as I moved and that he didn't really seem to notice my advance. The last time I had tried to talk to him he had almost thrown up on me; that had been about ten minutes ago, and now he seemed, somehow, to be slipping further away from me, from us. I stopped that thought before it could go any further.

"Ne, Ken, aren't you hungry?" I asked softly, picking up the Onigiri carefully and watching the black seaweed wrap glint slightly in the dull light.

"…No," he said through a sigh, his eyes darting to my own and back, his arms tightening around his knees, drawing them closer to his chest.

"Okay," I nodded, placing the snack back down.

He still looked pale, a little more colour in his cheeks now than when he had finally woken from his sudden faint. However I still thought he'd feel better with some food and drink in him, and perhaps something a little stronger than water…still, I remembered how "fun" it had been just getting this simple food and water. Driving Seven had always been a luxury and a joy for me, but unfortunately, when you're being hunted by the cops, she stands out like a sore thumb. Had to take her through the back roads into town, even over the country in some places where it was too bright and I feared being seen. She had lost her twin axel going over a field and I nearly threw her into a tree once or twice. By the time I had dumped her in an alley, spent the last of the notes in my wallet on food and managed back here undetected, she was pretty much wrecked. I had felt the distinct urge, considering the queue there had been in the food store, just to hold the place up with my new toy. Omi had made me take it, Tatsuha's gun, said he didn't trust him with it. I wasn't really surprised, I had wanted to take it initially but he had held me off. Now however it was only making an nervous weight in my belt. I don't like guns, I mean, well…I just don't like them. Shit, I really know how to ramble don't I?

"So," I started not so subtly, playing with the tails on my dusty coat, flicking at flecks of grime, "you wanna tell me what happened?"

"I told you already," Ken muttered into his bunched up hands, his messy bangs falling into eyes deep blue with hidden emotion, "it was just a dream."

"Just a dream that made you pass out?" I said, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow and a look that said 'you can't lie to me so don't bother'.

"I hadn't eaten anything but an apple for more than a day Yoji, how the hell would you feel?" Ken's tone was vicious but his eyes could still only glance at mine, not able to hold my gaze.

"Well, pretty much the same," I said back dryly, "apart from the apple."

Ken's tense form seemed to tighten up a little more at that statement, but then as his eyes lowered down onto his knees once more he slowly relaxed, even letting his hands slip out of their death grip on each other to simply hold loosely at the fingertips. He sniffed a little then took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. His eyes slid shut and then opened again a moment later, shining a little in the light. My chest tightened at the sight, even though outwardly I showed nothing of my discomfort, at the thought of Ken crying. I don't like to see anyone cry, I mean girls crying is my definite weak spot, but Ken, well, he's my best friend, I've known him for years and I can't stand the thought of him upset. So I'm an old romantic, bite me, I really couldn't care less.

I just let Omi's words run through my head, what he had said to me after I had bundled Ken off the floor and onto the rough sack mat in a boneless heap. His eyes had been soft with worry but hard in determination. I almost knew what he wanted before he asked it.

-I have to deal with this Yoji,- he had said nodding to the strangers as they stared at Ken in concern, -I have to know what's going on, that's the only way I can help him, if _I_ understand. Make him tell you what's wrong, you have to find out.-

"I…" Ken said pulling me out of my daze, stopping to swallow, his eyes looking away from his knees to his right towards the wall, "you know the night that Ay…Ran attacked us."

"Yeah," I said back into the space he left, even though I knew it wasn't a question, I just wanted to keep him talking.

"Well, when I was knocked unconscious, I had this dream," his voice was becoming softer and harder to hear what with the dripping water and the muted conversation from the other end of the room, I had to strain to catch his words, "after I woke up, and I realised where I was and what had happened well…I put it down to head trauma or something, you know, because I was hurt so badly in the head then…"

His hand went instinctually to his head as he paused, rubbing at a spot three inches above his right temple, his eyes closing slightly in memory of the pain.

"Does it still hurt?" I asked.

"No…" he said back hesitantly, "well, I…I had a headache earlier, have had one for a while now and I thought it was because, you know, of my injury. I didn't want to say anything to worry you guys, and there wasn't really anything I could do about it anyway, we had more important things to think about…"

"Ken!" I said sharply, giving him a reprimanding look that made him start and then lock eyes with me for a couple of seconds before hurriedly looking away again, "How could you hide that, shit you could have a concussion and to hell with something being more important! You want to die or what?"

I was reaching over to him now, heedless of his discomfort or personal space, pulling his head out from between his knees and studying his eyes with irritated concern. I simply ignored his efforts to escape, well that was until he simply grabbed my hands and pulled them from his cheeks, staring angrily back at me.

"Listen will you?" he hissed out, "Do you think that I would have just left it this long if I thought I was gonna die, huh? It's not concussion okay? It was after I had my second dream that I figured something out, that the feeling wasn't coming from inside my head, it was inside…well, me."

"What feeling? Ken what are you talking about?" I said back with a frown, lowering my hands back to my lap and trying to ignore the worry his words made me feel.

"It's…it's hard to explain," he sighed, letting his feet slide toward me a little, his knees dropping away from his chest, "at first I thought the headache I had was from my injury, but whenever I touched the spot where I was hit it didn't really hurt as much as I thought it would. Sure there was a lump, but somehow when I felt pain at touching my head it never really seemed connected to the pain _inside_ my head. My headache, it was like…like a squashed sponge swelling up with water inside me, and it was too big to fit, pushing against the inside of me trying to get out. I felt like, I was being torn out from the inside and something else was trying to replace me…"

"Ken…" I said in a hushed whisper, barely able to mask my horror at his words, something about them making me shiver and feel a little sick.

"No, I know how bad that sounds but…in a way it was kind of, familiar…" he stopped, ducking his head to hide his face as he shook it lightly, "it was like there was someone there with me, telling me it was going to be alright, and they were frightened and….so was I. Then I started to wonder what it really was, this ache inside of me, and I knew that it wasn't from my injury."

"But…if not from that then where?" I asked slowly, watching what I could see of his face in anticipation.

When he did look back up his cheeks were smudged with a pink blush and a forced smile was making his mouth jerk unnaturally.

"I don't know," he said sniffing again, his smile slowly failing, "I keep dreaming about him, and it really…hurts to because he's so far out of reach now. And he's acting so strangely in my dreams. None of them make much sense, or really seem to mean anything. Well, except that last dream, but, uh, Yoji I have a feeling…I really don't think it was a dream."

"You don't?" I blinked, thinking back to his first words after spewing his guts all over the floor.

"No," his hand had moved from his injured head to his eye now, scratching tentatively around the socket as if afraid that if he touched the lid he'd find that it wasn't there, "it was so real, I've never felt anything so real while I've been asleep, the pain was…"

He stopped scratching and looked at me, fully looked me in the eyes which disturbed me a little because I still couldn't tell what was lurking behind them, and started chewing the inside of his lip. His eyes were still shining with unshed tears and I wasn't really sure if he was even aware of it. He looked completely lost, much more childlike than even a few moments before. I wanted to tell him things were going to work out, but in the face of his confusion I couldn't even summon that little white lie. I was afraid myself, afraid that all of the highly unlikely things that I'd been hearing lately were actually true. My reality had been all I ever had to root myself to, hold me down, and now even that was being torn apart and remade right underneath my feet. Ken sniffed again, blinking as he tried to stop from breaking.

"What's happening to me?" he whispered out, his voice wavered as if he didn't want to know the answer even as his chaotic eyes demanded it of me.

"I don't know," I said back truthfully, even though in the end I think the fact scared me more than it scared him.

"Yoji…" he started, looking awkward again, "you know, back at that Esset base, when you woke me up and then, well, you know you had a fit or something, um…what happened?"

"…Hell Ken I don't know that either," I said feeling even more defeated by my lack of answers, "I just touched you and then…-_and then I saw…Ran staring back at me.-_

"What?" Ken looked eager and afraid all at once, "What happened?"

"Hey Ken, how are you feeling?"

I looked up at the sudden intrusion to see Omi stepping over a long thick rusty pipe to kneel down on the rough mat beside my feet. I hadn't even heard his approach, I had been so intent on watching Ken, helping Ken, even though I didn't really know if I'd done any good. Omi's voice may have been as light as he could make it but I could see the concern etched into his young face, even as he smiled comfortingly.

"Better," Ken said weakly, "thanks Omi."

"What were you guys talking about over there?" I said quickly, trying to change the subject, even though I knew that Ken wanted his answers and I just couldn't give them; the thought scared me.

"Oh, well, things are getting kind of cryptic," Omi sighed, his frustration evident, "I've found everything they've told us so far rather hard to believe but I think that it's just going to keep getting worse…I just wish that they would just speak clearly, tell me exactly what is going on and perhaps we'd get somewhere."

"Don't tell me," Ken said with a small genuine smile, "the blonde just keeps saying that 'it's not time to reveal that information' right?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Omi returned Ken's smile wryly, "but, Ken…are you sure you're okay? I mean, that was pretty rough what just happened to you and you still look pale…"

"Really Omi, I'm fine now, I'm just trying to…" he paused, looking back to his hands intently, "figure things out."

"Okay," Omi nodded although I could tell he was keeping his eye on Ken now, as was I, "just eat something, and drink some water alright?"

"Right," Ken nodded reassuringly, although he made no move to the small pile of food and drink at his feet.

-Don't think you can fool me with that attitude, Hidaka Ken,- was all I could think as I stood up and walked back over to the interrogation happening at the other end of the room, - you never could lie convincingly.-

I smirked a little at the thought, even though the fact that he _was_ lying made me feel angry and worried all at once. I didn't want to have to be thinking about these strangers right now; Ken was ill, Ken was hurt, something was wrong with Ken…and I couldn't help him. Instead I had to worry about these two people who I had only known a couple of days and, despite everything they had told us, I still didn't know them at all. The interrogation had been getting us nothing but quizzical answers, dumb silences and riddles. At some points I had simply felt like pulling out my crossbow and threatening them until they spoke…but it was, thankfully for them, still sitting in the van Crawford had taken. I kept feeling the itching in my hands to simply go and retrieve it, even if it was only for comforts sakes, yet I didn't want to twist the situation into a hostile one just yet.

Not just yet…

Yami was the first one of the group to look up at me, his gaze hitting me like a physical force in its worry.

"Is your friend alright?" he asked hurriedly.

"That's none of your concern," Crawford was quick to cut off any reply I might have with an angry barking tone, "answer my question! In case you haven't noticed two of my team mates are missing and I know you have something to do with it, so stop stalling and tell me!"

I never would have thought I'd see the day when something got to Brad Crawford as badly as this had. In a way I could almost bring myself to believe that it was worry for his subordinates, but another part of me was still sure that it could simply be because he wasn't getting what he wanted from the strangers. The latter thought made Crawford sound like a spoilt child, but the former really sounded too unlikely for me to accept. Just like a lot of things I'd been hearing lately…

"He's fine," I said softly to Yami who had quailed under Crawford's anger, making Crawford turn his glare onto me, "but I must agree with Crawford-san, you must tell us what you know so that we can get our team mates back."

"I…I _have_ told you everything!" Yami said desperately, "I swear I don't know anything else, I promise. If I did don't you think I would tell you?"

"Not really," Farferello said in a drawl as he leaned against an old rusty boiler, the light behind him buzzing slightly, "so far you have been entirely evasive and unhelpful in aiding us."

"Hey, that's not fair!" Yami scowled at the white haired man, his eyes burning a little, pointing at me almost accusingly, "didn't we save your team mates life?"

"Well, why don't you just explain exactly how you saved little Tsukiyono here's life and I might be more accommodating, "Crawford growled out, his glasses glinting in the dull light.

Silence, just as before when we had asked the same question, when we had asked all of our questions. Who are you? What are you? How did you save me from certain death with a simple red ball? No answer had been forthcoming and, even though Crawford himself had so far been vague as to his knowledge of his team-mates location and situation, I feared that we were running out of time. Or more to the point, Schuldich and Nagi were. We needed to hurry, that much I knew, even if not only for our two missing team-mates just for ourselves. I was becoming very wary of staying in one place for too long.

"Tell me what we're up against here," Crawford demanded, "tell me exactly what you know about what's happening here."

"I've told you everything I can," Tatsuha answered calmly, his blue eyes glinting.

"But obviously not everything you know," Farferello said back just as calmly, staring the man out with his one golden eye, something slightly manic in his gaze even though his tone was even.

"You will tell us what we need to know," Crawford's stare was on Yami and I could see the younger boy shivering even though pressed up against his partner's side.

"Please," I said softly, trying to appeal to them with every diplomatic skill I possessed, "you have to tell us. Can't you help them, can't you help _us_? If you can't, then why are you here?"

"Because we have no choice..!" Yami shouted out in frustration before catching himself suddenly, his eyes going wide and a hand flying to his mouth; I guessed shrewdly that this wasn't his best poker face.

I watched Crawford's eyes narrow out of the corner of my eye, watched Tatsuha slump slightly against the wall and close his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Crawford said a in a low voice, something in his tone suggesting his relief at finally cracking one of them.

"He doesn't mean anything," Tatsuha bit out, glaring at his now agitated counterpart, "you'll leave it alone if you know what's good for you."

"Excuse me?" Crawford actually raised his eyebrows in surprise at the blonde's arrogance, bringing them quickly back down into a scowl, taking his pistol from its holster under his arm, "I hate to be the one to point out the fact that I'm the one holding the gun here."

I looked instinctually over to Yoji at Crawford's words, wondering how he felt even taking a gun into his possession. He'd always said he hated the things, but we had to entrust someone with Tatsuha's weapon and Yoji was having the least contact with them so…but still, even as Crawford pointed out this major power difference Tatsuha only smirked back.

"Pitiful," he said shaking his head, having to push his short blonde hair behind his ear to keep it from his eyes, "you really think that you're the one holding all the cards simply because you hold the gun?"

"Then tell me why I'm wrong," Crawford ground out, even though I could see it was grating on him to have his power negated in this sort of situation.

"No, wait, Tatsuha…" Yami said in panic, "you said before that..!"

"Perhaps it is time to show you," Tatsuha said in a sadistic voice, his gaze locked with Crawford's.

Everything happened at once. First of all Tatsuha closed his eyes and lifted his hands together as if in prayer but with an odd gesture, and the light behind Farferello burst into a million shining shards and blinked out, the others on the roof followed suit and we were plunged into darkness. At the same moment Crawford hauled his gun from its holster but dropped it as if burned before he could even fire a single shot, and last of all (even though considering what was happening I couldn't blame him) Ken screamed. However somehow I knew that it wasn't because of what was happening here that made him scream, and I had the sudden urge to run, run and take Ken and take Yoji and just run. The logic in me took to long for comfort to take control of me again and force me to focus.

"What the fucks going on!" I heard Yoji bellow from the darkness.

"You bastards, I knew they would pull something!" Crawford was shouting, even though I could hear the slight twinge of pain in his voice, "where are you!"

"You wanted to know the truth Crawford-san, and now you shy from it," Tatsuha's voice was untraceable in the chaotic gloom and I found myself rooted to the spot, suddenly not willing to move, "how interesting."

"Stop it!" I shouted back, feeling a fear welling in my chest at the thought that these strangers were indeed our enemies and I had invited them willingly into our midst, "Stop speaking in riddles and show yourselves!"

And then, just as the chaos had begun, so it ended. In what I guessed to be the middle of the room a small blue flame sprang to life and all eyes looked to it. It seemed to float there by itself before slowly settling down to the floor to a broken piece of wood which it began to devour hungrily and greedily. That illuminated the surrounding area and revealed Tatsuha standing by the fire, his palm stretched out as if to drop something to the ground. Behind him stood Yami, and his eyes were dark and his face hard as he seemed to concentrate. Then, as if the lights themselves had come back on, the shadows cast by the fire danced wildly and seemed to spring up from the floor like tentacles and wrap around his young form. I gasped, almost crying out before I stopped myself and simply held my hand over my mouth. I had never seen such a power before, even with all we had come up against. The room, now free of darkness, was left illuminated in an oddly white light, as if the colour had been stripped away from them as the shadows were taken from their surface. Yami absorbed them, slowly leaking in through his clothes and skin, and the slithered around his arms protectively. Who was he… and was Tatsuha a pyrokinetic then, was it he who had summoned the flame? I felt my mind trying to make sense of the great power I could feel surging in the room, trying to use logic against my need to flee.

"So you can wield fire, do you think this is something I haven't seen before?" Crawford spat, and I turned to see him holding his right hand where a small red burn was visible; the others were on their feet, even though Ken was being held up by Yoji, both still in the far corner.

"Oh," Tatsuha laughed disconcertingly, his hair shifting slightly as he did so, "I am nothing so simple as a mere pyrokinetic Crawford-san, you should be able to see that, ne?"

"So you have more than one power, is that it? You want me to be impressed? Then tell me what I want to know!" Crawford yelled, his hand balling into a fist at his side.

"Very well," Tatsuha nodded, his eyes seeming to burn with blue fire as he locked his eyes onto Crawford, "Heinrich Faxon was the creator and leader of Esset until twenty years ago…"

"Great another history lesson…" Crawford growled out.

"…But did you also know that he was one of the most accomplished and powerful Onmyoji in Japan before his death?"

Another silence, disturbed only by the sound of creaking wood as the fire spat and split the wood it devoured.

"What the fuck are you talking about now?" I heard Yoji ask in a dangerous tone, holding Ken closer as the other man looked ready to fall over, "More mystery, more evasion, just spit it out already, I'm sure I won't believe you anyway!"

"We were his close friends and comrades," Yami said slowly, suddenly sounding much older than he should considering his tender age, "before he even entered this world as Heinrich Faxon."

"We are not, well," Tatsuha said pausing, folding his arms and looking back to Crawford, "not exactly what we seem. This is my body now, but it is not the original one I was born into."

The silence was overwhelming, this time simply in its intensity and the need of the people in the room to all start shouting at once. Yet only one voice broke it in the end.

"…I was right," Yoji said with dismissal, "I don't believe you."

I held up a hand out if instinct, wanting, no _needing_, to hear all of their story before I judged it. My head was swimming with the need to disbelieve what I was hearing, it was insane, it was rubbish, they were simply lying to us! But I needed to hear it, and for some reason the hand that I held up for silence was obeyed.

"What are you trying to say?" I said slowly, ignoring Yoji's snort of breath.

"I am trying to say that I have been entrusted with the safe keeping of your team mate," Tatsuha said, "the last wishes of a doomed man are not something that I intend to go back on after twenty years."

"But you don't even look twenty! What, did he tell you while you were still in the crib?" Yoji said in outrage, "Why the hell are we listening to this shit!"

"I told you, this body is not my own," Tatsuha said with the patience of a teacher talking to an unruly student, "I am simply using it to fulfil my purpose here."

"And you?" Crawford said to Yami, the dark haired boy's eyes lowering as he sighed.

"I am the same."

"Why…why should we believe you?" I asked, not really sure what to think any more.

"Oh, there's no reason," Yami smiled, "no reason at all. But then that's not why I'm here is it, to entertain your whims and explain every little thing that you can't even begin to comprehend. We are wasting time, and now that you know the truth, it is time to leave."

"Know the truth? Like hell, like hell I'm letting you out of here after that load of crap just came from your mouth!" Yoji shouted, Ken clinging to him and looking pale.

"Like I said, you don't have to believe me, but I have been doing this for a long time, longer, I admit, than I'd really been banking on when I started this venture," Yami said, and Tatsuha let out a small laugh in what seemed like agreement, "but this is a plan that has been in operation for a long time. Things have gone wrong along the way, things have gotten lost that should never have been found in the first place, peoples wants and needs have gone astray but, in the end, that's hasn't mattered. I am here to fulfil my mission, and I'll be damned if I'm going to fail now."

"What a story…" Crawford said, however a hint of belief was seeping into his tone, "…a shame that you couldn't prove it."

"Yes, it would seem so," Tatsuha said dryly, "but I'm afraid I'm with Yami on this one. I've been jumping bodies for the past six hundred years and like hell are you taking this one away from me without a fight. I have a demon to destroy, and as a matter of fact, you've been a great help in locating Him. Now all I need is your team mate and things should be running smoothly for once."

"What do you mean you need my team mate?" Crawford growled, "who are you talking about?"

"Why, you mean you don't even know..?" Yami said in amused disbelief, "well, we are talking to the one you refer to as Schuldich."

"Strange name for the kid to pick I admit," Tatsuha said with a shrug, "I always did like the ring of Alaric Faxon better."

"What…what did you say?" Crawford frowned in disbelief.

"Yes, yes he's Heinrich Faxon's son, can we get over the shock now?" Tatsuha sighed, "There are more important things at stake here than your partners lineage."

"But, that can't be true, "Crawford looked stricken, almost as if someone had just come along and casually told him that his entire life had been a big pack of lies and he'd just have to buckle up and deal with it; I wondered why this could be such terrible or shocking news, other than the obvious fact that Schuldich should really be running Esset considering his heritage.

"More important things such as dealing with Him. I don't expect your help in this, but still you will need our help if you want your friends back alive." Yami said determinedly.

"Him?" I said, feeling my brain twisting at the amount of information and disbelief swimming round my head, once again focusing in on one single aspect of this madness simply so I could stay sane.

"He means…" Ken spoke up, startling me, making me want to go over to him and hep hold him up, "you mean Aya-chan don't you? Don't you? Only…only she's not Aya-chan any more!"

"Ken!" I said worriedly, turning towards him as did most of the rest of the group, "What's wrong?"

"I said she's not Aya anymore, not little Aya-chan," everyone was staring at Ken except Crawford who refused to take his eyes from the newly revealed strangers in front of us, "she's not, she's gone and theirs something else inside her!"

"Ken quit it, how the hell could you know that, stop going crazy on me here!" Yoji said shaking Ken to make him stop, even if his eyes looked worried at the way Ken was acting.

Then Ken glared at him, and I'd seen that glare before, only…

I frowned anxiously, wanting to wipe that look from Ken's face and replace it with the one that should have been there, the one that Ken would have used. But I couldn't, and Ken's face kept that look that wasn't his, but was entirely…

"I told you," he said pushing away from Yoji and shouting in a menacing tone, his chocolate eyes glinting deep amethyst in the blue firelight, "She's not my sister anymore!"

AN: Well, if this wasn't what you thought was going to happen then I hope you like the outcome. I apologise for this being so late, honestly, it has taken a very long time, but I had a crisis of plot lines. This is the final incarnation of a chapter that had five different plot lines. I just hope I picked the right one….hchrm, right well, I must of course pay homage to the excellent anime "Mirage of Blaze" which gave me the idea in the first place for the idea of souls reincarnating themselves throughout time to fulfil a certain purpose. Definitely a must if you haven't seen it, it's very good. Right, hope this makes some semblance of sense, if it doesn't I'm very sorry, and if you think I need more explanation in this chapter please tell me so that I can remedy this. As ever please R&R as it is very much appreciated and wanted!

To HeatherR : Heh heh, sorry again about the gore, hope the lack of it in this chapter makes up for it! Sorry this update took so long and I hope it doesn't disappoint (I can never tell as I'm always disappointed with my writing no matter what, typical)!

To Gillian Sillis: Whoa, another very thorough review! Thank you for your comments they're very useful and appreciated : ) ! I really hope that I explained things properly, please don't send Ran after me, especially not may Ran as he's uber scary! Eek!


	38. Nicotene and Vicious Thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz…nor can I spell it properly so that should really give things away…

Warnings: Slight gore, nasty things, evil wenches and general author evilness…(can you tell I like to be specific?)

**Chapter 37**

**Nicotine and Vicious Thoughts**

Everything was becoming one.

Everything was drifting away, further and further, getting dimmer and darker. I could feel things snapping, I could feel them disconnecting…I wasn't sure where I was anymore.

Was I at home? Was I in that house we had shared for so long? Was it the kitchen, or the corridor? Maybe the living room? Or maybe I was outside, or perhaps not even in the house at all. Maybe I was out walking in the glitzy street, my hair hanging in my face as the neon lights danced in the rippling puddles around my feet. Or perhaps I was in the warehouse, patiently waiting for that one poor little idiot to open the door and walk into my spiders web, my mouth twisting into a smirk as I watched from the shadowed rafters, my eyes glinting, the old wood straining into a creak, the draft of the old building…

I could smell the dust.

I could feel the comfort of that familiar house.

I could hear the splashing of the puddles under my heeled boots.

Everything was becoming one. Everything was merging into a lump of memories and pasts and presents. I could feel my mind wrenching this way, that way, with the unnaturalness, the abnormal absorption of time into a single seconds worth of living. It was only vaguely now that I felt the rope around my wrists, felt the blood coagulating against my cheek, the oddly painful tingling in the hollow socket of my ruined right eye. All of that seemed mundane compared to this hideous contraption she had worked me into, inside, lost inside. This loss of identity and self, the strange stripping feeling against my skin as if I were literally coming apart, the heavy feeling of my once expansive, free mind contracting into one solid mass. I couldn't even tell anymore if it was happening out of my own self defence against her or if this was exactly what she had wanted to happen in the first place.

"Ne Schuldich don't look like that, it doesn't suit you, I hate it when you sulk."

It came to my ears as if spoken through a thick blanket. The words seemed slowed, distorted, and it took a while for me to figure out exactly what had been said and who'd said it. Of course it had been her, she was of course still here. Said she'd not wanted to miss any of this right? Not for the whole world right?

-_Schu…I'm…empty-_

Such a lot of meaning in those three little words, spaced through with deep breaths, as if the air was too thick to take in. Nagi…where was Nagi? She was speaking again, too me? Perhaps…I couldn't focus anymore, I could only feel another stray strand of thought become ensnared and pulled screaming into the massing void. I shivered violently, feeling something on my back split open and hot liquid ooze down into the waistband of my trousers. My breath hitched and I felt a sigh escape my lips. They twitched involuntarily and I almost laughed, almost but not quite, at the thought that was instantly in my head at the motion.

-_God I could murder a cigarette_.-

Instead I only swung there, the smallest of smiles twitching at my cheeks.

There was someone talking again, maybe two people? Focus goddamit, this is important! This isn't just a game anymore, they're going to kill you, you get that right? And not just you, they'll kill him too, I mean he's just a kid for god's sakes…and if they turn up to save you, they'll kill them as well, all of them.

They're all going to die, because of you.

This is all your fault.

You need to get out of this, you need to do something, dammit ropes never held you before, get yourself out of this! Did you live through nine years of hell just to die bleeding at your enemies' feet? No! So get up, get up and find a way out of here!

Such encouraging words, where did they come from? I didn't think I had it in me to make a speech like that, even just to myself. Ha, I think I _could_ get out of these ropes if I tried, maybe if I tried really hard I could…but she's never going to leave, not now, she's enjoying herself too much. I need a distraction, this is getting too serious. I need to make a distraction before she gets what she wants out of me and we both die. If this contraction of my mind really is a defence then I'd say my chances are better, but if it's all her doing then…well I'd say we're pretty screwed. But…

…Her only weakness so far seems to be disregarding our abilities. Not that I have many of them left now, but hell I'm never completely down and out even when I look like I'm going to keel over and die. I need to find a distraction, something that would hold her interest for at least enough time to get free. If I could just get my left eye open, maybe I can find something, anything to get rid of her, just for one moment…

The eyelid resisted at first, heavy as if with the need for sleep, sticky with crusted blood. It popped open with a sudden movement that made me wince as light tumbled against my exposed eye. I blinked sluggishly, feeling another small snap somewhere around my left temple. I felt my balance go and my head lolled to the right; only by force of will was I able to straighten it again, albeit slowly.

The room was as I remembered it, or at least this was how I think I remembered it. Everything was trying to merge into one again, but I pushed at it, forced my mind to focus on what my eye was telling it was in front of me, not my mind. My mind lied, it tried to trick me, and I was sure that it was her doing, but no time to think about that now. She was standing at the far end of the long room with another person, a black silhouette, Nagi slumped against the wall before them like a loose rag doll with large vacant black eyes. I swallowed dryly at the sight, the reality of his condition far worse than what my memories had relayed to me. The fire, now to my right, had died down to a pile of flashing red embers, the chill of the room apparent without its roaring heat. The windows were no longer dark but pale with pre-dawn light. They were still spattered with dribbling drops of rain and I could just see the sheets of storm water falling down onto the wooden patio outside. The storm of last night still raged outside.

I pulled my head back around to the right with effort, trying futilely to hear her whispered words. Yet I wasn't really interested in what she was saying, but more in who she was standing with. I knew that they were a stranger, I didn't recognise their outline, too tall and broad…who were they, what were they doing here? The muffled voices slowly receded and I squinted as the shadowed being nodded slowly and turned towards the doorway. His face was illuminated for the barest couple of seconds and yet something, thank the gods something that hadn't yet been ruined in my memories, jumped up and started screaming.

That face.

I _knew_ that face!

And the memory in my head continued to scream, and only after the tall man with the chocolate brown hair had slid out of the room did I realise exactly what it was screaming.

"_Quit it you little freak!" (1)_

The plane. That day, that day they tried to…

"_Stop it Schuldich," _Brad had told me.

What was _he_ doing here? I thought…I thought they removed his memories and…they were taking him to…but then…oh god.

Oh god. That can't be right, it can't…

I have to get out of here.

I _have_ to get out of here.

I tried experimentally to shift my legs, grimacing as I realised they were bloodless and numb. My mind was working too quickly, panicked and, before I could really stop myself I tried stupidly to pull up on my wrists to try and haul my legs around and let the blood flow back. The screaming pain of tearing flesh was too much, I cried out as the blood began to flow down my arms in tiny rivulets, twisting through the hairs like snakes through grass. She turned then, I saw out of the corner of my eye, her face amused and still slightly stained with blood. It was as if she enjoyed wearing it, a testament to my pain, or perhaps she was just having too much fun to notice. I coughed roughly, realising my throat was raw from lack of water, and my scream had done it no good. I felt the throbbing of my wrists and tried to ignore it, watched detachedly as she clicked across the gleaming wood towards me. I kept my gaze on her, hoping to realise something, glean anything from her expression, anything! But nothing, she gave nothing away, and I was now without the power to take it for myself.

I flinched as she took hold of my cheek, her hand sliming its way across my forehead, smearing in the blood there as she looked on with an almost placid, affectionate gaze. It made me shiver even more to see that look, made me want to kill her, made me want to..!

"You still don't get it do you?" she asked suddenly, making me start despite myself.

"Fuck you," I croaked out, the insult only making her break into a smile, "I don't even care what this is all about…_ (liar)_…I just know I want to see you dead before the end of it…_ (more than dead)_" I stopped to cough, feeling something rip painfully up my throat and slap bloodily onto the ground; I ignored it and continued.

"…and if you hurt one…hair on his head, I'll…make sure I…take my time…_ (and never finish)_."

She let out a small laugh. Her eyes were wandering between blue and green, dancing in the red ember light.

"You still don't see how insignificant you are do you? You still think you have some big purpose in this, some big part to play like an unsung hero? You're nothing brother, nothing at all to me or to my master or his cause. It's what's up _here,_" and she tapped my temple softly, "that's important. Once I find what I want I'll dispose of you, then I'll dispose of your friend, and then I'll dispose of the rest of your rag tag band. But then that's only if you're good now, if you do what I tell you."

She patted my cheek in an almost motherly fashion before standing, my hard gaze following her, and folded her arms as she regarded my ruined form.

"If you don't, if you continue to resist me like some martyr or fool or whatever you've thought up, then I'll start killing them in front of you. I'll kill the child first and then I'll kill whoever's the first to walk through the door to rescue you, then the next one and the next until they're all dead. Then I'll kill you, maybe. Maybe…"

I felt sick rising in my throat, even as I managed to keep my glare hard edged and furious. It burned my throat with bile and choked my breath just the way her words were doing to my mind. I felt a stinging snap in my forehead and was forced to close my eyes and wince. Her soft laughter seemed to drift away, away, far away until I was floating and…

Again it came, all together, like child rolling different coloured plasticene into one until they become a dark brown mass with no identity or form. Again I was back in that house, I was walking the streets, I was waiting above the small figure far below me, my hand twisting as it screwed the silencer slowly onto the barrel…

I was drifting far away from Nagi, far away from my rescue, far away from my plans of escape…far into my own slowly imploding memories.

AN: I nasty aren't I? Sorry minasan that this took soooooooooo long and that it's a little short considering. I didn't want to run it into the next chapter so it's going out on its own and hopefully the next one will be up soon. Sorry again for the wait, I'll try and hurry my ass up for the next one! As ever I hope you enjoy it and please R&R!

(1) - PS: Oh and for anyone wondering about this vague reference in the middle of the story please go to chapter 25 for Brad's second flashback and all will be revealed! Hopefully...

To Heather R: Sorry, more gore in this one, hope it wasn't too bad! Yes Ken and Yoji aren't just thick they're stubborn too! Hee hee, just kidding. But I'm not quite finished yet, although I hope to explain some things soon. SHOCK HORROR PIGS MIGHT FLY AND THEY'LL BE A BIG BLUE MOON!

To Gillian Sillis: No worries dearie! Sorry to hear you're obviously harassed. Hope everything is okay and you're not too stressed out! Hope you enjoy the chapter and I'll hear from you when you can!

And also thank you so much to everyone else who's reviewed my ickle story! You guys are great! See you next chapter!

Ro x


	39. Someone Else's Reality Sets In

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or Schwartz but Yami, Tatsuha and Lorelei are alllllll mine bwahaahaa….! Oh and also the last couple of lines in this story are taken from a series called "Firefly", if you've seen it you'll recognise it! I love Firefly! So addicted, he he, but well there ya go. On with the story…

**Chapter 38**

**Someone Else's Reality Sets In**

"She's not my sister any more!"

The words seemed to reverberate loudly around my skull before sinking in. I simply stood there after feeling them pass my lips, blinking as I realised something; I was hearing my own voice in the air! It was like hearing something for the first time. I actually _felt _my short nails digging into the palms of my hands as I balled my fists tighter and tighter in frustration. I felt my eyes opening slowly from their scrunched up state to stare incredulously around me.

Around me.

A dank, strangely pale basement it seemed, with all of these people staring at me as if I had grown three heads and sprouted geraniums out of my ears. I felt the breath rushing in and out of my lungs as I breathed in, out, in, out, in…

I was inside, but not just inside, I was filling the space inside this body, I was in _control_ of a body, I was..!

I looked down hurriedly and gasped in dismay at the sight. There, hanging from my sturdy frame were Ken's usual clothes, his dilapidated leather jacket, his orange jumper. His hands were the ones I held out in front of me as I prised them open, watching the crescent shaped indents left by his nails fade and disappear slowly.

"Ken…Ken what the fuck is the matter with you?" the voice I recognised as Yoji held none of its usual anger or frustration as when it usually asked me such a question; but before I could wonder as to the reason for this I realised what he had called me.

"I'm not Ken," I said simply, pushing my eyes slowly up to meet the figure I recognised as Yoji Kudo, looking at me with half crazed eyes in a worried face.

"What? Shit…what? Ken you really are fucking concussed dammit, I knew it..!" he started ranting, suddenly walking towards me purposefully, his intent clear in his eyes.

"Dammit Kudo you'd better keep the hell away from me or I'll make you regret it," I hissed out, effectively stalling him in his tracks, his face turning pale as he stared at me; a light seemed to have flicked on behind his eyes and an apprehensive recognition settled there.

"Oh god…" he said softly, staring at my eyes more than looking at me.

"Ken," Omi's voice now, I located him at the other side of the room, staring at me in disbelief, "Yoji what's the matter? Ken are you alright?"

"He fainted twenty minutes ago, you expect him to be normal?" Crawford spat out, his eyes still trained on Yami and Tatsuha, yet even their gazes were now focused on me too.

Finally Crawford swore colourfully and followed their gaze towards me, snorting through his nose and turning to Yoji with an incredulous look for the now gaping, speechless man.

"Well, he's still all there," he sneered, "what the hell is there to get so fucking worked up over?"

There was a pause, a moment of silence that I cherished. Things had been noisy recently, in the place where I had been, and now I was here, inside what seemed to be _reality_.

The real world.

When I breathed in I felt the air, when I moved my fingers I felt the muscles and tendons working under the skin, when I blinked the world disappeared and then reappeared. Then, suddenly, the silence was broken, once more by Yoji's breathless voice.

"His eyes," he finally choked out, taking another step hesitantly towards me to get a better look, "shit Ken your eyes…"

"What about them?" Crawford practically roared in impatience.

"They're violet," he said simply, taking the last step to cover the distance between us and this time I didn't resist him; I even allowed him to take hold of my face and look deeply into my eyes, although they narrowed contemptuously at the contact.

"W-what..?" Omi sputtered, "Yoji that's madness, Ken has blue eyes what are you..?"

"That would be because I'm not Ken," I said again, this time hearing my voice, _my_ voice, coming out of Ken's mouth.

"Holy shit," Yoji breathed out, letting go of my face as I heard Omi gasp in final recognition, Yoji's hands slipping down to rest on my shoulders, "…Ran?"

There was another silence. I blinked and then continued staring into his emerald eyes, revelling in the sheer pleasure of their vibrant colour. I smiled softly to myself, allowing that small contentment before having to come to terms with the situation.

Shit, I'd been having to come to terms with the situation for a while now. Having to come to terms with being ripped from my body, torn and screaming and bleeding and dying…before latching onto that familiar presence that welcomed me so warmly, securely. And now I seemed to understand how it was all working, I seemed to comprehend where I was and what had happened, all while understanding nothing at all. I opened my mouth and the entire room seemed to tense, ready for my response.

"Wipe that look off your face Kudo," I said icily, "you look like a moron."

"…Yup," Yoji said after a moment, his voice cracking a little as he fell back from me in small jerking steps, his face contorted into pained grimace, "definitely Ran."

"But that's not…" Omi's voice was distant, almost a whisper.

And then, a jerk at the back of my head, making me twitch. I closed my left eyes and gasped, my hand touching softly at my right temple. Then suddenly someone was screaming, but not from inside the room, and then I was falling without falling. Falling away from my eyes as the screaming grew distant and all went black.

I was screaming. I felt crushed. All had gone black and I thought I had died. One moment I had been in the basement, in Yoji's arms as he stopped me from falling to the ground. Then my headache, which had doubled in strength as I tried to listen to the argument playing out in front of me, suddenly turned to a blinding pain.

And then someone spoke through me.

"She's not my sister any more!"

And I was falling. The feeling was nauseating, not quite the same as when I had collapsed before, but if it was possible it almost felt worse. It wasn't so much a nauseating feeling as a crushing one. I felt like some one was screwing me up like a piece of paper, crushing me down into an insignificant ball. I couldn't see, I couldn't feel but I was still screaming. I couldn't stop, I was scared, so scared. What's happening to me! Somebody help me, please help me.

I don't want to die!

I'm not ready yet, please don't let me die…

…I promised him I'd save him…

..I can't die yet.

Please!

Somebody…

I was screaming it, screaming my words to the darkness, letting it swallow them. I felt as nothing, I was nothing, I couldn't feel anything! It was as if I had been torn, torn away from myself and now I was floating, floating…leaving. And then it was gone.

I felt a sudden jump and then I was thrown upwards and slammed hard into something. It took me a moment to realise that what I had slammed into had been…well, me. And I was still screaming. I felt like I was being reinserted into my body, pushed back into my head, all of my nerve endings on fire with renewed sensation. I felt dizzy and sick and my head…

"Oh god, Ken!" Omi's voice was next to me as I fell to my knees, clutching at my pounding head and screwing my eyes closed.

"Omi help me," I choked out, my temples burning as if on fire, feeling everyone's eyes on me, "I can't…I can't die yet…"

"Ken you'll be okay," Yoji's voice, far above me, shaking slightly, "don't worry, just lie down…"

"No," another voice, to my right, "that won't help."

"What the hell would you know about it, don't tell me you're a doctor too now," Crawford's angry tone, bitter, urgent.

"I thin the situation is perhaps more urgent than you know," was that Tatsuha's voice? I couldn't tell, I just wanted the pain to stop, please stop talking, it hurts…

"What do you mean?" Yoji asked, a hand round my shoulders, my head leaning onto his shoulder.

"His case is worse than I thought," Yami said, "I think you should find your missing friend as soon as you can."

"Why? What's wrong with Ken? Tell me!"

Omi please don't shout, it hurts…

"I haven't the time to explain anything more to you right now, there's nothing more you need to know, all we need to do is go."

"Look," Tatsuha again, "I'll explain it all once we've done what needs doing. First of all we need your team mates back, and then…"

"Then we can do what we need to," Yami's voice was almost soothing, unlike the others, against my torn mind.

I whimpered against Yoji's throat, feeling my headache begin to ease slightly, trying to force my mind into some sort of order. I was back in the basement, back with everyone but…where had I gone? What had happened to me, I thought I felt better but now I was collapsing again, and I don't know why and oh god, please…

"…I can't die yet, please, I have to…"

"Ken no one is going to die!" Yoji didn't sound convinced, but I nodded as best I could, trying to block out the sound of everyone's voices as I pushed my face into his coat.

"Have to get him out," I said softly, "have to get him back, back to himself."

"Ken, don't speak, you need rest," Yoji soothed, smoothing his hand over my hair, "we will get him back, I promise you."

"Shuldich is in trouble," I said softly, trying to stay awake as I felt exhaustion creeping up through my feet, along my spine, "you have to help them Yoji, his eye, Ran pulled out his eye, god knows what else he'll do…"

"Ken please…"

"Ran, we have to get him back, we have to make him right," I sighed as I felt sleep claiming my eyes, forcing them shut but managed to raise my hand drowsily and tap at my head, "he's here Yoji, he's here, I just have to wake him up."

-_Schuldich is in trouble_-

It wasn't as if I didn't know this already, but hearing spoken with such urgency, a tone bordering on worry, fear. I felt sickness pooling in my stomach, swallowing as I tried to keep a level head.

"What's wrong with him?" Farferello asked curiously, his one golden eye peering at the now sleeping Siberian.

"That banister must have been harder than I thought," I said with a bitter tone, hiding my own worry.

"Concussion doesn't take that long to set in normally," Bombay protested.

"It can," Balinese said with a worried glare up at me, "it can, sometimes…"

I slowly pushed my glasses up my nose and sighed. Things were not well, but if my team is in danger then I can't worry about these things. We had wasted enough time already, trying to work out a plan, getting slowly more and more sidetracked by these events, by problems we could not solve.

"I think we've wasted enough time," I said suddenly, "we need to leave. It's been long enough, we're as ready as we're going to get."

"We don't even have a proper plan yet!" Balinese protested, "And Ken's down, he's not going anywhere. If we're mounting a rescue then someone is going to have to stay with him to make sure he's alright…"

"Then you stay Yoji," Bombay said, his eyes determined, "you stay and I'll go with Crawford and…"

"No," Balinese said as he slowly but carefully handed his sleeping comrade over to Bombay, "I'll go. I promised Ken I'd get Ran back for him. You need to make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid, okay, like dying on us all for instance."

Balinese's smile was less than humorous and Bombay's laugh was forced and laced with pain. Yet they both nodded, both agreed.

"If we get Ran back," Balinese said to Tatsuha, "can you help Ken? Is that what you're saying?"

"…Perhaps," the blonde nodded slowly, "if I'm right. But Crawford is for once right in saying that we've wasted enough time here already. I fear that time is coming to a point, we should hurry."

"See, now that's the kind of shit that makes me not trust you farther than I could throw you," Balinese scowled, "and I don't trust you…but if you can help Ken then I'll go with you. If you can help us get Ran back, then I'll go with you. However, if you make the slightest impression on me that you're going to turn, going to hurt any of us, then you're dead, understand?"

"Naturally," Yami shrugged, disturbingly unperturbed by Balinese's threat, "you have nothing to fear from us, understand?"

Yoji growled but bit back his retort, turning instead to Bombay to help him move Siberian to the mat he had been sitting on previously. His eyes were closed now and his body limp instead of tensed in pain, yet that was probably what was making his team mates worry more for him. Perhaps he was already dying, and even if these strangers could help him perhaps we'd be too late. That was if we could rescue our team mates alive, or at all.

"Crawford," Farferello touched my arm softly, "we should go now."

I nodded, turning to Tatsuha and staring into his eyes, trying to discern his thoughts. He looked back almost calmly, even though I could see the tension there, the excitement almost.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"Then you are going with us then?" he asked with an upraised eyebrow.

"My sentiment is the same as Balinese here," I said inclining my head to the man behind me, "you'll be dead before you know it if you hurt any of my people, but I think we could use all the help we ca get right now."

"Alright," he smirked tersely, "I'll take that as an insult."

"Good," I said back, "then we understand each other."

"It's just like the old saying goes," Balinese said as he joined us once more, "when you can't run, you crawl, and when you can't crawl…"

I smiled to myself and finished it for him.

"You find someone to carry you."

AN: Hi people! I am so sorry for the lull in updating! I haven't really had a proper chance to write anything for months now and I hate it grrrr! Thankfully I go this chapter finished or I think I might have gone mad! Anyway, sorry it's not much of an update, but at least they're all moving their asses, kind of…in a really slow sorta way…


	40. Amidst the Sea and her Wrath

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or Schwarz, but Lorelei is mine, mine, mine...

Warnings: Language, violence, and...severe lateness of updates he he he...

**Chapter 39**

**Amidst the Sea and her Wrath**

Trust it to be raining. No, scrap raining, this was more along the lines of a monsoon. Typical late summer weather in these parts, and it's bound to be worse in the mountains. However, despite the discomfort it would cause it _would_ help cover up our approach, especially with dawn only half an hour or so away. We really needed all the help we could get.

Still, heavy rain, not really my thing. It plays havoc with my hair.

Ha, ha, I crack myself up. Really...

"It should only take about half an hour to reach the retreat where your team mates are being held," Tatsuha said loudly as we bolted from the cover of the old warehouse into the safety of the white van.

"We need to get there before sunrise," Crawford shouted back as he hauled open the drivers door and jumped into the dark interior, "or things will only become a lot harder for us."

The old industrial estate seemed even creepier in the rain, and especially in this pre-dawn darkness. The chain of dilapidated warehouses seemed to be swimming on the rain washed tarmac as the water began to pool around their bases. The water shone against the few streetlights that still functioned around the warehouse we had chosen and appeared nothing but a white blur. I stepped into the van slowly, already soaked to the bone from my run from the warehouse, and pulled the door shut behind me with an ominous thunk.

The sound of the rain beating down on the roof of the van made me sigh and shiver and I peeled off my coat with distaste. The thick material stuck to my skin and tried to ignore the heavy squelch it made when I dumped it onto the dark floor.

The bundle it formed reminded me of Ken, unconscious on the floor of the warehouse.

Omi and Ken were still in the basement, I hope it didn't flood. Shit, I can't believe I'm leaving them behind, what if..? No, nothing's going to happen to them, I have to focus now, focus on Ran.

Yeah Ran...fuck...that stupid...fucking idiot!

Ran that stupid bastard, this is all his fault! Why did he have to be so weak, why couldn't he fight on his own!? Did he need his sister that badly? Badly enough to loose his fucking mind over her? Didn't he even think of the consequences of doing these things, of turning on his own team!? Shit...

I guess...I guess I haven't really had time to think about all of this, about Ran. Damn it all, what the hell are we going to do with him once we get him back? The guy's gone insane, totally lost it, and given himself over to this new enemy, left us without so much as a thank you have nice life now. Even attacked us, kidnapped people...and, according to Ken, things much worse. Maybe they'll be no reasoning with him, maybe when we get him back he'll just grin and laugh and blow us all into a million little pieces.

"_Ken, don't speak, you need rest, we will get him back, I promise you."_

My own words resounded in my thoughts. I didn't want that to be another futile promise, another thing to break Ken's spirit. I needed to bring Ran back to him, and then perhaps we could figure out what was wrong with Ken, maybe even what was wrong with Ran. What was wrong with both of them.

_"His eyes, shit Ken your eyes...they're violet."_

No, it can't be...it just _can't_. Why would he..?

Then a light flicked on in the drivers cabin and I blinked, my thoughts scattering like leaves in a fierce wind. The interior of the van swam into view and I studied it intensely, trying to rid myself of these pessimistic feelings. It was a spacious vehicle and clean, despite the puddles of water that were forming under its residents feet. Yami and Tatsuha, seated across from me, didn't seem to mind being soaked to the skin and weren't even shivering with the chill of the night air. Their hair was plastered to their heads and their clothes were sagging under the weight of the water they held, yet their eyes held nothing but determination and focus. Well, at least someone was in control. Farferello had taken the passengers seat next to Crawford and sat there, face holding nothing but a slight frown and one manic eye. The driver however...

"So Crawford, not only is your suit dirty but now you're doing your drowned rat impersination too," I smirked half heartedly as I looked over to the drivers compartment and took in the sight of a thoroughly peeved Brad Crawford, "and I thought I'd never see the day..."

"Quiet Balinese, unless you want to walk I suggest you keep your humour to yourself," Crawford tone was terse, not really that scathing or reprimanding, and his eyes showed turmoil, not anger.

My smirk died all together, my eyes once more finding the floor. For once, the one time I think in my life, I felt a small amount of regret for insulting a member of Schwarz. I know that there's always a first time for everything, but this seems ridiculous, ne? Well, perhaps not so ridiculous. The man was worried, and that was understandable considering two of his team mates had been captured and were more than likely not being given first class treatment. Yet this was Brad Crawford, Esset extraordinaire, the cold calculating bastard leader of the cruellest set of people I had come across in my career.

But then, my career isn't over yet so there's still time for them to be ousted form that position.

Perhaps he did have the ability to care after all. Ha, I never thought I would have seen the day when I could learn so much about the man who tries his very best to keep himself hidden from the world.

The engine of the van roared into life above the noise of the rain and then settled into a soft purr that was lost under the incessant drumming of the water. Crawford jammed the van into gear and put his foot down flat, surprising me with his vehemence, making the wheels skid a little against the slick tarmac before touching ground and speeding off onto the lightening dark.

_"Schuldich is in trouble... his eye, Ran pulled out his eye, god knows what else he'll do…"_

Running through my head over and over, like a mantra of accusation, relentless like the beating rain. I couldn't believe that it was true until I saw it, until it was there in front of me but, but then...

Siberian had awoken after his faint, screaming and clawing at his eye like a man possessed; and I was no stranger to the type of torture that Esset deemed fair and natural when dragging information from a prisoner. Schuldich and Nagi were in trouble, both of them, and I needed to get them free at any cost. The dull thud of the wipers and the rain was slightly hypnotic and I blinked to clear my mind. Looking down at the dashboard I checked my speed, 70mph, still just in the limit on the highway I had chosen. Slowly, as I stared at the empty road ahead of me, my mind began to wander. Memories of driving through another storm such as this flooded my thoughts.

_"Well, that went well."_

_I had always thought that Schuldich's hair showed off his flippancy, but now, after a mission in the rain, he looked like a drowned rat. The mission, however, had run as smoothly as any reputable assassin could hope. We had left the man back at his house, bullet between the eyes, face down on his desk, bleeding over a litter of his own corrupt documents...perfect._

_"Don't get used to it, I don't intend to be here too much longer..." I replied smoothly, trying not to smirk as the German's hand stopped in his hair momentarily before ruffling it in annoyance._

_"Oh really," he said back slowly, "well, isn't that nice for you."_

_"...yes it will be."_

_I head Nagi and Farferello bickering in the backseat of the car, a rented Mitsubishi Gallant, and smirked as I caught a snippet of their conversation._

_"Ah, Farf you're bleeding on the seat, bandage that up..!"_

_"But it goes so well with the grey..."_

_"No, it doesn't, this is a rental! Do you want us to have to fork out extra for cleaning bills?"_

_"That would be a waste of money."_

_"Yes, that's right it would."_

_"Waste hurts God."_

_"Ah here we go..."_

_The defeated tone of Nagi's voice made my smirk a smile before I even knew what I was doing. I quickly suppressed it and started the engine._

_"Ne Crawford, you didn't bring towels did you?" Schuldich asked._

_"A towel wouldn't help you look any better Schuldich."_

_"Hmm," the redhead said sarcastically, "the compliments just fall so easily from your tongue Brad..."_

_"Don't call me that Schuldich."_

_"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, what does 'I don't intend to be here too much longer' mean? That the fearless leader is abandoning his troops in the midst of battle?"_

_"No." I said, matter of fact, enjoying the look of surprise that turned his features._

_"...well...eh, excuse me?" he said, eyeing me with a slight frown._

_"I'm getting us all out." I said as I indicated out of the parking lot and pulled out onto the road, "After that, you can do what you want."_

I never would have thought I would come to this, balking at the thought of breaking a promise to someone. It wasn't even a promise, and yet I meant it, I did. I would get us all out of this mess, then we would eventually be free. We could do whatever we wanted, anything at all.

"Don't go over the speed limit, we don't want to get stopped by the cops," I heard Balinese say from the back of the van as I swerved round a tight corner, "and I'd also like to make it to this rescue alive and intact thank you very much."

"You want me to slow down?" I heard the incredulous lilt to my voice, quickly subdued as I focused back on the road and pulled to a halt at a set of traffic lights, "or do you want to get there before it's light?"

Silence from the back. Good, just the way I like it.

The windscreen wipers were working overtime, swishing back and forwards with dull thuds, the water pouring down my peripheral vision. I had to focus, if I wanted to figure things out. We had no plan as such for storming the mountaintop retreat, so trying to figure out this situation was the best information I was going to get. Think Crawford...

Lorelei. A good place to start. What did she want?

She wanted Schuldich. But why?

Because Schuldich had something she needed, that was clear enough. But what was it that she needed?

Information? The only plausible reason. What information?

Perhaps information on Weiss? No that's pointless; she wouldn't gauge them as a threat. What about information on Schwarz? No, Lorelei's also a telepath, she wouldn't need to use her brother for that information. Perhaps I'm looking at this from the wrong angle.

Perhaps I shouldn't be looking at the present, but the past that they have together. What do they share?

They shared a home, a mother and another sibling, a brother. The brother and mother were dead and had no abilities or sordid past that would need exploring, so they're out. They never communicated during Schuldich's stay at Esset, or even after his graduation to Schwarz. But still she...wait.

Wait a minute...dammit! Crawford you fool! How could I have not figured this out sooner! I should have realised as soon as that Tatsuha had said the words.

_"Heinrich Faxon is Schuldich's father."_

And who was Heinrich Faxon but the founder of Esset. I may not be right, but if I am then there is much more at stake here than I had first anticipated.

I didn't let my revelation show. I wouldn't tell what I thought I had learned until I knew it was true. I just hoped that I made it in time, and hoped that my precognitive powers, so elusive of late, would warn me of any up and coming crashing white vans so that I could avoid dying.

It was dark.

I was glad, it helped my headache.

But somewhere in the darkness there was a scream. It seemed to grow, flitting from place to place.

Then I heard it disappear.

I tried not to think about it, the anguish in that scream.

So I didn't, and drifted back into the darkness, welcoming and whole.

AN: Wow, another update. Not to shabby if I don't say so myself! Still, slow going, but I'm getting there! In case anyone was wondering by the way that last POV was an unconscious Ken, and all will unfortunately be revealed next chapter, because it's the big dramatic rescue and unveiling of conspiracies, etc, etc! Sheesh, only took me about 40 chapters he he!

Okay, hope you like this chapter and I'll try my best to update again soon! As ever please R&R, it makes me a happy bunny!

Maiko x


	41. Kawanakajima

Disclaimer: Well Weiss isn't mine but they're not in this chapter much he he! I'm actually going to do a bit of diving into Yami and Tatsuha's past in this chapter so this chapter takes place in both the present and in 16th century Japan.

I'm going to give you a note on the battle that takes place in this chapter as it was a real battle, but you don't need to read it to understand the story if you don't want to, although it might help!

The battle of Kawanakajima was a real battle fought in 1561 in Japan between Takeda Shingen and Uesugi Kenshin's army's. Yamagata Masakaga, Takemata Yoshitsuna and General Yamamoto Kansuke (all in this chapter) were all real samurai warriors, famous for their battle skills. Yamamoto was actually the General responsible for the battle strategies of the battle of Kawanakajima but there is no evidence that Yamagata or Takemata were there. I just really like their names and also their history fits my purpose nyuk nyuk, so it's not an entirely shallow choice! Also their names link to their corresponding characters names, Yami and Tatsuha, so that also helps. Hope this chapter isn't too confusing and if you want more information on any of the history just visit this link (although I have twisted the history to make more sense of the story too)!

http://wiki. Character Death (you'll understand when you read it, don't get worried!), violence, angst.

**Extra note: **

The question 'daijubo ka?' simply means 'are you alright?'. The reply is usually simply 'daijubo' meaning 'yes I am alright' or either 'Hai or 'Aa' both meaning 'yes'.

The word 'Iie' literally means 'no' but it can also mean 'don't worry about it' or 'don't mention it'. Saying 'Iie, daijubo' simply means 'no I'm alright'.

Right! On with the chapter (phew) that took me long enough ne?

**Chapter 40**

**Kawanakajima**

The storm rioted against the slim walls of the vehicle as it carried us towards our goal. It rocked smoothly from side to side, like a ship on tumultuous waves, forcing my hands to clench around the arm rests. I was still unsure of modern vehicles, even after all this time.

Give me a sturdy horse and I'll be happy, albeit wetter than inside this van.

It was a raging storm that night, when lightning had ravaged the plain and the bare earth smoked and spat. The corpses of ten thousand soldiers bleed into the soil, feeding the rage and the hate of the world...

...and I had been one of them.

"Tatsuha?" the young voice pulled me from my stupor and I blinked, turning my head to watch his concern, "daijubo ka?"

"Aa," I said back softly, the sound almost lost beneath the roar of the downpour.

He just nodded at my affirmation, turning back to try and watch the road through the windscreen in the driver's cabin. I sighed softly, looking back down to my knees, the darkness in the back of the van seeming as if it were trying to swallow me feet first. I shivered involuntarily, letting my eyes drift closed and my memories to seep back into the present.

_I climbed the hill slowly, glad to reach it's peak with what was left of the wounded I could find. The rain was washing mud down into our camp from the hill behind us. How had we been forced into this place, no where to flee or retreat to were an attack to fall upon us. Trapped in by the weather and ill fortune, tired, ill supplied and hungry. I had been sent out to bring back the wounded from the last attack, unfortunately having to leave my wounded friend in the care of others._

_"Takemata-sama! Takemata-sama!"_

_A clap of thunder bellow across the darkened plane, no torches able to withstand the rain and light our battlefield. To my ears, dispirited as they were, I could almost believe Bishamon (1) were up in the skies laughing at us._

_"Takemata-sama!" I managed to pull my eyes from the darkening field before me and look down to the young soldier desperately calling my name, "General Kansuke-sama requests your presence."_

_"Hai," I said back gruffly, coughing harshly as I made my way down to him and allowed him to lead me further into the camp._

_I was glad for the makeshift cover that had been thrown together, nothing but some old spears and spare material, but it was at least cover from the rain and it served as some barrier against the elements. The three men inside the shelter were a sight enough to dishearten any loyal soldier. Two, the Generals mounted lieutenants, were only partly armoured, having taken off the heavy chokers and breastplates to replace bandages now soiled by the rain. The General himself, although a proud man, was showing the weight that the dead men littering the plain of Hachimanbara forced upon him, more his own than that of our enemy Uesegi Kenshin's. His face was lined with dirt and blood caked his armour red. I bowed respectfully, feeling foolish even though I knew that I shouldn't. As I bowed however, I caught sight of someone else, a fourth man in the corner of the 'tent'. My breath froze in my chest and I felt my eyes go wide. I didn't cry out or run to the man, nor show any emotion, for the man was no longer a man. He was nothing now but a soulless corpse, his wide eyes staring vacantly towards the rain soaked roof._

_"Yama-Yamagata-kun..." I whispered, slowly stumbling up, my eyes still wide and fixed on the corpse of my friend, my best friend, lying still and peaceful amidst this chaos._

_"I am sorry, Yoshitsuna," the Generals deep grumble pulled me from my shock, forcing my eyes back to his defeated form, "his injuries were too severe. I am sorry that he could not die in battle as all warriors wish, and I am sorry we cannot perform burial for him to send his soul to rest."_

_"Iie," I found myself breathing out as I walked slowly over to the dead man and fell to my knees, looking down onto his young face and feeling hot tears stream unbidden down my face._

_I reached out a dirt covered hand and slowly closed his eyes. His peaceful, sleeping face was all that was left when I took my hand away._

_"He did not want to die without you here beside him," the General continued accompanied by the sound of his lieutenants replacing their armour, "and refused to close his eyes in death. He waited for you Yoshitsuna, do not feel grieved, and instead take vengeance on his life, cut short by that demon Uesegi."_

_"I will," I murmured out, touching the cold forehead of my friend once more before standing, wiping at my face to clear the evidence of my grief, "I will avenge your death Yamagata-kun, I swear it."_

_My voice had turned to a growl and my body had tensed involuntarily. Only when I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder did I turn surprised eyes on the General, standing to my side, a small smile gracing his features._

_"I need your help Yoshitsuna-san," he said conversationally, "I want you to take Masakage's place as mounted lieutenant. We are ready to attack, and if not now then we face defeat. The Chikuma and the Sai (2) have broken their banks and the plain is flooded, Uesegi will have trouble getting his reinforcements over the water since we disabled the bridge. Now is the time to strike, and I need someone to lead the First wave of attack. Kosaka-san, Baba-san..." he turned and called to his lieutenants, "ready your horses and prepare your men."_

_I felt numb inside, but nodded none the less. The sound of the rain swelled and receded with the wind, I supressed the bile rising in my throat. I heard the two men exiting the makeshift 'tent' and had to stop myself from collapsing simply because I could not do it before in the company of such high ranking men. Of course the General was a friend, he would understand, but no, I would not be weak, I will avenge you Yamagata-kun!_

_  
"He swore an oath with his last breath," the General's voice was behind me now, in the centre of the shelter, "he said he refused to leave this earth until that deamon Uesegi was defeated. He told me that he would stay by my side, a lost spirit wandering the living world, if that was what it took the bring down our enemy."_

_I turned and looked at Yamamoto-sama in shock. _

_-_Yamagata-kun, what have you said!?_- I thought desperately, -_you deserve peace and rest, not to endure the pain such a binding would bring_.-_

_"I tried to refuse him, but it is not easy to try and wave off a dying mans last wish," the General continued, his face pained with the memory of Yamagata's death, "so we must win this fight, we will win this battle against that demon Uesegi, for your friend, to save his soul."_

_I nodded dumbly, even as the General handed me the flag of my regiment to attach to my armour._

_"Shingen-sama has told me to go ahead with my plan. The First, that's your command now, will set up an ambush on Kawanakajima while the Second and Third under my lieutenants command will flush Kenshin from Saijo. This is to be the last battle Yoshitsuna-kun," I looked into his kind eyes as he said my name affectionately, "I want you to be careful. Good luck."_

_Vaguely, as I walked back out into the rain towards Yamagata-kun's hor...my horse, I wondered if I would pledge something so rash for someone I respected so highly._

_Death made people do brave but stupid things._

"Tatsuha-kun you don't look so good," Yami's voice was so startling that I flinched at its sound.

The youth was staring at me, as was the other man in the back of the van, Yoji, and I felt the distinct urge to cringe.

"Iie, daijobu," I lied, shaking my head and for a moment expecting to see what had once been my own long black hair shake into my vision; instead only my chin length blonde hair came into view and for one moment it made me feel an acute despair.

"Tatsuha-kun it won't be long until we reach Him," Yami continued, his face so different, so full of life, "you have to focus. Don't become lost in the past. Yamamoto-sama needs us, we have to finish this for him."

I nodded solemnly and smiled softly when I felt his hand slide over my own and squeeze it reassuringly. His face may have been different, but his eyes showed that Yamagata-kun still lived inside the man seated next to me; and I still had to avenge his death after all.

Yes, death made people do stupid and brave things. For when I had died on the plains of Hachimanbara, my General's plan foiled by a group of lowly traitors, I swore the same oath as Yamagata-kun had done before me. Our General Yamamoto-san found me on the verge of death lying amidst a sea of bodies and I told it to his grieving eyes. He had touched my face and wept, then raging into battle once more he took down sixty men single handed until the grief overcame him and he committed suicide before reinforcements could come to his rescue.

And in his dying breath, same oath passed his lips and sealed our fate.

(1) Bishamon was one of the seven "Gods of Luck" of Japan. Bishamon was a Warrior god often depicted in full battle armour and wielding a giant spear.

(2) The Chikuma and the Sai are the rivers bordering the land named Hachimanbara where the last battle of Kawanakajima took place in 1561.

AN: I'm sorry that this isn't really a continuation as such of the current storyline, but I thought I had better give you a proper background on Yami and Tatsuha. If you didn't get it then this is supposed to be Yami and Tatsuha 500 years ago in feudal Japan at the start of their fight. Yami is Yamagata Masakage, Tatsuha is Takemata Yoshitsuna and Yamamoto Kansuke is Heinrich Faxon (yes I know the names bear no resemblance, eek!). The oath they swore is that they would wander the earth until the demon Uesugi is defeated, and three guesses who Uesugi is in the present storyline? And yes, is this story getting out of hand? The answer is yes it bloody is! Argh! I'm really sorry if this is getting to complicated and ruining it for anyone, but it needs to be done. Hopefully you'll like this and review, please? Domo arigato!

See you next chapter,

Maiko x


	42. Brave and Stupid Things

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or Schwarz or any of that but Lorelei is mine ya har!

Warnings: Violence, language, death, perhaps severe confusion of readers...if that does happen feel free to ask any questions, such as "what the hell is going on here?" he he!

**Chapter 41**

**Brave and Stupid Things**

"This is taking far too long."

That angelic little face, speaking the words of my Lord Uesugi, sometimes made me think of times gone past.

"My Lord, I swear to you that I will have the information to you within the hour..."

"No! Do not make promises you know you cannot keep Yusuke!"

"My Lord...my name is Lorelei now."

Thinking back to that long ago, sometimes things turn a little fuzzy around the edges, but I still remember one thing as clear as day about my past. Running my sword through that damned Yoshitsuna and laughing. I remember it well, almost as well as my own death no long after at the hands of the demon Yamamoto. Yes, I remember it all as if it were yesterday, not five hundred years in the past.

"You are what I call you! Now listen to me and listen well! I want that information and your mind tricks don't seem to be working on this 'brother' of yours. I want you to take any measures needed, any measures, to open his mind. Use shock, pain, _any_thing! I need that information!"

"Yes my Lord."

My long blonde hair fell over my shoulder as I rose from my bow and gave my Lord a final look before exiting the small room. I still could not get used to his form, hidden inside the body of this fragile young girl, but was still too happy to have him back in this world to worry about it. We would find him a new body, a better body, and he would rule Japan once more, and perhaps even more...

Of course it was hard to come to terms with taking this body too. I had been born a man, and each consecutive body I had taken had been male. However circumstances had forced me to take the next available form and it had been this one. It wasn't the fact that it was a weak body, she was a strong female, or that her abilities were in question. I just couldn't get used to the chest, it bothered me, I mean really they just get in the way. I had no conception of how women coped with it.

"Back to the torture chamber?"

The deep baritone voice stopped me in my tracks and I turned to look at the dark figure reclining against a low futon. His startling red hair still made me frown, reminding me of my 'current task', my 'brother', and I turned my nose up in a haughty expression before replying.

"Well Fujimiya, call me a workaholic," I smirked, "but I do so love my job."

"Aa, that I can see Lorelei-san," he replied, his violet eyes dancing in the lamplight, "perhaps you could use some help?"

I stalled, wondering at the look of wild passion in his eyes as he spoke of torture. It seemed to drive him wild, and yet he contained it all do expertly inside of him. The thought of what he had done to my 'brother' made me smile a small cruel smile and I nodded slowly.

"Hai Fujimiya-san, you can assist again if you want," I said, as I turned back down the corridor in an invitation to follow, "I could use your creative tactics."

She had gone, left, just like that! I thought...I thought she would never go, stupid witch!

Dammit, these ropes are too tight! I can't loose them!

"Nagi," I croaked out, struggling futilely against my bonds as I tried to twist my numb writs, "Nagi please you have to wake up! Please, help me get out we have to go!"

His eyes blinked and he nodded slowly but didn't move from his slumped position against the wall. I growled in frustration at this bout of really bad timing. I had actually gone unconscious at some point from, well hell, could have been anything, pain, lack of food or water, sheer exhaustion, take your pick. When I woke up, she was gone, my sister was gone and I was alone.

My mind had raced and I had thought -_this is what I was waiting for!_- before going completely blank. Yes I had been waiting for her to leave, underestimate me by leaving me on my own, but so that I could do...what?

What the fuck was I supposed to do!?

"Nagi! Please-get-up," I said in a measured tone, "please Nagi, get up and get your ass over here now and get me out of this!"

His fingers twitched and something stirred in his eyes. I blinked, holding my breath and waiting for him to respond. The wind howled outside as the dawn light started to peak in at the windows and hurt my eyes. I was just about to scream at him when he suddenly blinked and pushed up from the wall. I watched in shock as he got shakily to his feet and then looked down at me, life slowly draining into his lifeless eyes.

"Schu," he said weakly, "what..?"

"Shit Nagi I thought I'd lost you for a minute there kid," I said with a strained laugh, "no time to explain, just get me out of these ropes, we have to hurry!"

"R-right," he nodded, stepping up beside me to fumble with the ropes at my hands.

They had been pulled tight by my struggling but Nagi's fingers were small and nimble and I suspected that the ropes were still slick with blood. He grunted with the effort while I threw extremely worried glances at the door and listened intently for noises from the corridor. The storm outside seemed to worsen and I coughed roughly, forcing myself to stay conscious as I felt my lungs burn in agony at the action.

Then I saw it. Through the thin walls, a light silhouetting their forms...she was coming back, and there was someone else with her. Shit!

"Nagi get back, sit back down quickly!"

"I'm almost there, just give me a minute," he said sleepily, his eyes blinking owlishly as if he were only partly awake.

"No, no sit down now! Hurry, do it now! Nagi!"

"Just another minute now..." he sighed out slowly, as if he had not a care in the world.

Then the door slid open and pale blue eyes looked over in momentary shock at the vision before them. I forgot how to breathe, and Nagi turned slowly, languorously to look at his captor and the other man in the doorway. Fujimiya Ran, or what was left of his sanity anyway.

"No, wait..." was all I could get out of my throat it was so tight, I was so _tired_ and I just wanted to get the fuck out of here and what the hell do you WANT FROM ME..!?

"My, my," she said cruelly as Ran walked purposefully into the room towards Nagi, "how very spirited of you, and what a touching display of friendship."

"No wait, stop..!"

Nagi cringed back from the advancing figure of Ran but he wasn't fast enough to escape, his mind obviously still hurting from whatever they did to him. Large hands grabbed him by the shoulders and I could only watch helplessly, still shouting over and over...

"Wait stop, I'll tell you what you need just stop..! Stop! STOP IT..!"

...as Ran settled Nagi before him, took his head in his hands...

"You really should have co-operated Schuldich-san," he said in the silence that preceded his action, my eyes glued to his vicious smile.

...and slickly snapped it to the left, effectively severing his spine.

And as Nagi's lifeless corpse fell to the floor and I screamed because I just couldn't take it anymore, and this was all _my fault_ dammit I'll kill you, you bitch, I'll fucking kill you do you hear me, I told you I'd kill you if you touched him, I'm going to kill you, I'm going to kill you, I'm going to kill you..!

When his body hit the tatami mats, that was when the first explosion sounded from the lower levels of our prison, and also when I managed to finally slip my hands free of my bonds, nothing but murder in my eyes.

AN: I am a bad person, I know, how could I do such a thing? Because I'm evil and stressed out and I had to take it out on someone no? Well, that's partly the reason, but it's also just what happens in the story, please don't blame me to harshly! I hope this story is moving on a lot faster than it has been for a while, and you can expect it to come to a head pretty soon! I hope everyone's still enjoying it and please leave a review!

To HeatherR: Oh yay you're still reading! This isn't the last chapter as you can tell but I'm not that far from it now! I'm so glad you still like it! I hope you're still enjoying it and thank you for all you reviews! Was this update fast enough for you he he? Oh and I hope this explains the scream that Ken heard at the end of chapter 40, because you were right, it was Schu, and Ken could only hear it because Ran was there when Schu did it, etc, etc, god my stories are so complicated!

Right, and of course to everyone else who has reviewed my story or just read it THANK YOU!

Maiko x


	43. Against the World

Disclosure: I don't own it so no being mean to me now! Although I do own Lorelei (not that anyone else would have her)

Warnings: Violence, swearing

**Chapter 42**

**Against the World**

I had hoped, something I don't often need or allow myself to do, that it wouldn't have to come to this; but this was how it was going to be.

There was fire as we slew through the mud, an inferno raging above the tree tops pluming against the bruised dawn. Then there was us, screaming over the tarmac, towards the raging turmoil ahead. Everything was out of place, out of time and out of joint.

"Stop the van! Stop Crawford!" Balinese was yelling.

I hit the brakes and the wheels left the road, skimming over the slurry of dirt and rainwater. The front of the van swerved wildly through the storm, I grit my teeth and back steered hard, the world sweeping by in pale light haze. Then everything tilted to the left, then the right, and then settled into a constant drumming of rain on the roof.

"What the fuck is that?" Balinese's voice was almost lost beneath the sound of the rain as he stared up at the sky through the water shrouded windshield.  
"Someone's beat us to the catch," Tatsuha growled, "idiots won't get far, they don't know what they're up against."  
"Shit, _they_ don't know? We don't even have any bloody weapons, what exactly do we have over people who obviously thought far enough ahead to bring explosives?" Balinese asked incredulously as he flung open the back door of the van.  
"Who needs explosives," Yami said with a shake of his head.  
"I don't even know what you have planned," Balinese's voice was drowned as he stepped out into the storm, yet I still caught the sarcasm, "and still I feel completely safe."  
"Well you know more than me friend," Tatsuha said as he followed him out smiling, "I didn't even know there was a plan."

As I opened my door and jumped out the rain clouded my glasses and I couldn't see. I pulled them off and blinked as everything turned for the worse and I ran under the cover of the trees. The battering rain stopped and I turned back to look at the blurred shape of the van, skidded so expertly by myself half into a ditch. Balinese was to my right, the other two on my left, all of us looking out of place. I shook my glasses vainly and thrust them back onto my face.

Somewhere, down deep in the pit of my stomach, was a feeling I had been trying my best to ignore since I had learned of Schulidch's fathers real identity. It was something I had never felt before, perhaps something I had never believed myself capable of. Yet here I stood now, in the storm, wondering with a sick feeling if this was all my own creation. Wondering if at that moment ten years ago, when the arrogance of my youth was at its peak, that I really could have believed that I could control the future of the world. The feeling in my gut twisted, pushing bile into my throat and left the bitter tang of failure on my tongue.

"Who?" was all I managed to squeeze out.  
"Who do you think?" Tatsuha said with a wry tone, "think of anyone else who runs into situations without proper intelligence, blowing things up here, there..."  
"Kritiker," I said succinctly, my brow creasing with the added knowledge of this complication.  
"Bingo," he said back with dark humour.  
"But how do you know that?" Balinese asked with suspicion.

The stormy silence was shattered by the ripping sound of wood being shredded. We all took a step back as a huge plume of smoke and ash erupted from the side of the looming building before us. A fresh set of flames licked greedily at its broken frame, turning the proud wood black.

"Huh," Balinese said with a smirk, snorting through his nose as he turned his head away into the darkness, "I guess it doesn't really matter who's attacking. An enemy of my enemy..."  
"Can help out without knowing it," Yami finished, "They'll cause confusion and, hopefully, will distract them long enough for us to go unnoticed for longer than if they hadn't been here."  
"True," Balinese acquiesced, "I just hope they don't do any unnecessary damage, if you get my drift. At times of confusion, as you put it, people sometimes have a hard time enforcing restraint."  
"We can't wait any longer," I said finally, feeling the heightened tension around me, the feeling of dread that only comes with the unknown, "or this trip will have been for nothing."

I started forwards out into the gloom of the surrounding trees, their shadows silhouetted by the dancing orange glow of the fire. Vaguely I heard the others following me, Balinese muttering to himself about lack of communication, but still following. Unconsciously my brisk walk turned into a jog, which then broke into a run.

"You think they might attack your team mates," Tatsuha replied thoughtfully to Balinese's statement.   
"The thought did cross my mind."  
"Do you have a plan," Yami asked as he jogged along to my left."  
"Well, I was thinking mainly of going for the simple approach. Grab Schuldich and Nagi, get the hell out of here and straight back to the warehouse to regroup," Balinese said quickly, coming into my line of sight as I turned my head up to watch the burning house, "what else is there we can do?"  
"You're forgetting someone aren't you?" I said with a raise of my eyebrow, suddenly smelling the foul stench of burning flesh and wood as the wind changed, "Aren't you here to collect your missing team member too?"

He shuddered, and not because of the cold rain or the harsh wind. His face was only turned half towards me as he replied, his eyes shrouded in darkness.

"If I can I will," the words seemed to be slipping from his mouth, as if he was having trouble thinking about them as he said them, "if I can."  
"We'll back you up," Tatsuha said suddenly, having just finished a hurried conversation with Yami through gasping breaths as the road turned uphill towards the back entrance to the mountain lodge.  
"No need to lie to us, " I said back to the startled blonde, "you aren't here to back us up. You do what you're here for, we get our people, we go our separate ways."  
"Well if you're going to be blunt about it," Yami said with a smirk, "then that's fine by me."

In my head, as I turned back towards the dark road ahead, I tried to block out the millions of questions that had been invading my mind since I had seen my vision of Schuldich's death and we had quit our house to team up with Weiss. There was only one way to be when the world was chaos around, and questioning didn't take any place in it. I needed to focus, to hope and trust the good judgement of my team.

Oh, but in a perfect world that would be true. Of course, my perfect world was one without emotion, without the baggage of dependency. Yet, when I tried to push this ideal onto myself one fatal flaw kept jumping up and biting me in the ass.

"_I'm getting us all out, after that you can do what you want."  
"...You know you're just full of surprises," his red hair was soaked the colour of blood, but I could have sworn his eyes sparkled with something akin to tenderness as they stared at me, something that made me want things I knew I couldn't have. (1)_

Out of mind, body and soul my own truths infected this mission. I felt the need for normalcy threatening my calm, the need to be back again in that old house, knowing that everyone was as safe as they were ever going to be, knowing what was going to happen next. Yet now all we had was a moment to moment life expectancy, and my brain was in a state of lethargy from my haywire precognition. I didn't need this, I didn't _want_ this, and yet...from the depths of my dark soul there rang a calling that I could never have admitted to myself before. Something possessive, almost primal, a need to protect what is mine.

"_If I can."_

Balinese's words, so simple and yet devastatingly so. I had always believed Weiss to be the stubbornly arrogant type, never give up, never leave a man behind, while Schwartz were the stereotypical bad guys who just didn't give a shit. Yet here we were, two polar opposites switching sides. Of course human emotions are fickle things, and as all fickle things they care not for the judgment of others. The human nature is indefinably capricious, something I had come to understand all too well after starting my job as leader of Schwartz.

Inconsistency is our only constant, and in this chaotic hell I could feel the writhing maggot at the centre fatten itself on the rising fear and uncertainty that it created. This was the god we had sought to bring into his world, this was the false prophet who had walked the earth five hundred years ago, if I was to believe the men who ran beside me.

But I did not care, and I would not let petty questions stand in the way of what was mine, and my promises.

From the air, the earth, the fire and the water, like shadows in the night we set out towards the Gigas' inferno.

(1) See chapter 40 for Crwaford's flashback

AN: I am very, very sorry that this took so long to get out. I am afraid that I have had a severe case of writers block since I last posted and I had the idea in my head but just couldn't write it out. I hope it has turned out okay and please, if the writing is just too ostentatious then please feel free to throw rotten cabbages at me and tell me to stop it! I just hope it all makes sense...

I also want to leave a personal apology to Gillian Sillis for making you wait so long and forcing you to pester me for updates! I know this is short but I am going to start writing the next chapter right now so that I have no excuses not to get it out as soon as possible. I really can't believe this story is over three years old, it really is ridiculous...I hope you like this chapter and I really will try harder to update!

Anyway, thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing and also being patient with me!

Maiko


	44. Tomodachi, Teki, Uragirimono

Disclaimer: Don't own Weiss or anyone else from the series, and am making no profit whatsoever.

Warnings: Swearing

**Chapter 43**

**Tomodachi, Teki, Uragirimono (1)**

You know stupid things you used to think when you were young? Like clouds are made of cotton wool, the moon is really made of cheese and you could live for at least a year simply on sweets and chocolate with no side effects whatsoever? These are things young kids should be able to believe.

I always used to think, when I was younger, that maybe the world would end tomorrow. I used to have the carefree thoughts of everyone else, but then things changed and, well...everything is so fragile, everyone is so vulnerable. So I used to try and do all the things I had ever wanted to do in a single day of living, never waste a second, always live for yourself, don't take orders, that's what I thought was right. And when I woke up and the world was still passing by outside my window, I would simply believe I had been given one more chance. One last chance to do everything I'd ever wanted without consequence.

Ever since the world ended for me, I believed it would only be a matter of time until it ended for everyone else, too.

* * *

"We're under attack!" 

"I can see that you fool, put out the fire, get everyone into the main hall and make sure his Lordship is not harmed!"

"Yes Sir!"

Flames everywhere. Cries for help. Brings back lots of memories, perhaps too many. Does this remind you of that time, little one? Perhaps it doesn't bother you as much as the fact that I am here too. You really don't realise how little consequence your existence holds, do you? You still think that you can save your friends, save yourself, when you could never protect anything in the first place? You don't have the right to have people care for you, you don't have the right to have others die for you.

"Get the prisoners out of here, this room isn't safe. Get everyone out!"

"Lorelei-san, please, you must hurry, his Lordship is waiting!"

"Lorelei-san, are you in there..!"

Ever since that day, when I cut you down from that naive reality you'd been living in, you've been waiting to die, haven't you? That look in your eyes, defiant but yet still resigned to the fact that, soon, things were going to end for you.

That the world would never be what you wanted it to be, ever since that day that you thought that I murdered her.

"I told you that I'd kill you if you touched him," he hissed breathlessly as I hauled him onto his bloodless legs, "I told you, and I mean it."

"I know you did, but you can't always do the things you want to do most," I smirked back, the smell of burning wood invading my senses, "even when your world is about to end."

From the first day we met, we were natural enemies. You could never forgive your mother for adopting me, could never believe that she might need more than just you. But more than that, I suppose, you couldn't accept that the reason she adopted me was because I was more than just another kid. You could never accept that your father might have had another child, been unfaithful to your precious mother. Of course, you could never understand what I truly was either. However you never asked, and so I never told you. Huh, but would you have believed me if I had told you I was no ordinary girl, that I was really a warrior, an ageless being, with a mission to revive his murdered Lord? Something tells me you would think me more insane than you already do. If I had told you that, and also that your father was not who you think he was, little Alaric. It was hard for you to believe that you were not the be all and end all of everything wasn't it, that there might be more to life than just you and your wants?

I took this body, when this child was brought into the world, because I thought that he would bestow his secrets to me; I was sure Heinrich Faxon, or should I just call him Yamamoto-san, would never have believed that I could have taken it so easily. Its soul was so pure, and yet so easily tainted by my own hatred, becoming an easy vessel to be my host. And yet he realised, the horror of it, that his own baby girl had been taken by the enemy, and he abandoned me. He never gave me the secret, the secret that he finally gave to you, and so I had to get back into your family somehow. So I told your mother the story, well not everything obviously, and then she took me in as one of her own. Such a kind woman. She gave me his ring, the ring her husband had wed her with, she said that she'd always wanted a daughter to give it to. Did that make you feel even more rejected? Was that it? Still, I loved her very much, more than I have ever loved anyone, even my own mother.

That's why I couldn't kill her, sentimental perhaps, stupid even, but still I couldn't be the one to kill her.

"You don't remember, do you?" I asked him, even as I heard Fujimiya walk over to the window, his frame outlined by the shifting flames, the other servants and acolytes running, screaming, fleeing past the doorway, "You don't even remember who killed her."

"I don't need to remember everything, I remember enough," he snarled, pushing me away and stumbling over the smoking tatami, "you took everything away from me!"

"So naive, still so naive after all this time," I shook my head and smiled, feeling the heat rising up through the floor, "you really think it was me, don't you."

"Shut up! I know what happened that day, I may not remember everything but I remember you, I remember blood on your clothes, I remember seeing my own mother in a pool of blood and you..!" he spat, backing up towards the windows almost unconsciously.

"Yes, but if there's one thing Esset taught you, it's not to believe everything you see, right? Don't you want to know who really killed her?" I said calmly, almost smiling, this being the moment I had waited for, for a long time.

Because, if those idiots at Kritiker hadn't thought that they could stage a little revolution against a band of soul jumping, sociopathic, obsessed clan warriors (and yes I do know that I'm describing myself), I would have been delivering the trump card that I had been keeping up my sleeve for the past seven hours. This rather unique piece of information was all that I had left on my dear 'little brother', and yet I suppose it was the only thing I had thought had a chance of breaking him. Still, I wished that I could have had a bit more peace and quiet to do it in. Then Fujimiya was backing away from the screens, turning and walking past me to the doorway, and I could feel the heat radiating against my back from through the thin paper walls. He was ranting again.

"It was you, you killed my mother, you..!"

"No, it wasn't," I said back simply, "after everything she gave to me I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Another pulled the trigger, don't you remember now?"  
"No!"

"I can remind you," I said softly, barely audible above the now audible crackle of flames, "let me remind you."

"Don't touch me, murderer..!"

I jumped the room in a matter of seconds, suddenly in front of him, revelling in his fear and lack of control. I placed my hands on his face, holding him still as he resisted, letting his hands slough across my skin, weak and yet defiant, resolute. Then I let my mind wander back to that day, forcing his own mind along with it. I ploughed through his memories, vaguely hearing him scream, before we were both lost in the memory of that day, eighteen years ago.

* * *

We had just reached the doors, flames purging the air with smoke, making me light headed, when I happened to look up. I was so out of breath, from the run, and the rain and the smoke that I felt like simply keeling over. Yet still I managed to look up, towards the ravaged building, and there I saw him. 

Glaring down at me like I was nothing but a filthy dog, waiting to be put down. I felt my feet stop moving, felt the rain getting in my eyes, stinging. I blinked, and when I opened my eyes he was gone, the window was clear.

"What are you waiting for Balinese, keep up or get left behind!"

"Ran..." I couldn't help whispering out, my own words floating back to me like a harpy to remind me of past sins.

_"If I can."_

Ken would never forgive me if I turned up without him, would he. The strangers, they said it was important to get him back, something to do with helping Ken. Still, how could some insane idiot like Fujimiya Ran help us now? He hated us, wanted to kill us...how was I going to get him back?

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt a harsh hand close over my rain slicked wrist and tug me out of my daze. I pulled my eyes back down to ground level and found Crawford glaring at me and dragging me forwards, Yami and Tatsuha stopping as near as they could to the burning entranceway, half turning back as my mind raged and then the glass broke above us.

The world went very still, for that one moment, where we all looked up to the window above us, the one where I had seen Ran only minutes before. The shards glittered as the window shattered outwards with force, and flew out into the night, like stars. And amidst them, falling, was a blood soaked body I found all to familiar.

However, even though he's saved my life, I still found it hard to understand my actions when I simply shook off Crawford's stunned grip, backed up and let him slam full force into willing form. He stank of smoke and blood, and strangely enough ever so slightly of perfume. That was all I got the opportunity to think before we both hit the ground, hard.

"Ah shit!" I choked out as I felt stones and debris raining down on us, instinctively curling over to protect him.

"Schuldich..!" I only just heard Crawford shout, as another explosion rang out through the air.

"Holy hell, do you have to make such dramatic entrances!" I found myself shouting at him, managing to scramble up onto my knees so that I was leaning over him, only then did I see his face, "You...oh god you..."

"Get out of the way," Crawford's hands were once again upon me, throwing me to the side.

"Hey watch what you're doing!" I shouted back, hearing Yami and Tatsuha run up behind me.

"Schuldich, look at me..." Crawford was saying to the inert man on the ground, bending down on one knee to take a hold of him, pulling him up into his lap, "are you alright? Where's Nagi...what...?"

I was about to ask Crawford what the hell he was gibbering about when I realised that Schuldich was whispering. His wide eyes were shimmering with tears, hands now reaching up to clench in Crawford's suit jacket, blood coated fingers smearing against the white. I had to say that now wasn't really the time to be asking questions, and as I stood I realised just how hot the flames from the raging inferno were, and just how close...

"We really shouldn't linger," Yami was shouting, "Crawford take him back to the van!"

"I can't leave without my team!" Crawford's face was twisted in uncharacteristic rage as he rounded on us, eyes flickering with lambent flame, "Damn it Schuldich speak up!"

I spun around and looked up to the shattered window, a dread feeling that it had been Ran who had pushed Schuldich from the window grabbing hold of me. Yet the facade was empty, only the flickering of greedy fire licking around the broken glass. I wondered, as Crawford leaned in towards his team mate, if Schuldich had thrown himself from the room to escape the fire; but then where was Nagi..?

"...What..?" Crawford's gasp made me spin round once more, this time to be surprised by the look of sheer shock on the older man's face.

"Please, Crawford whatever you're doing, do it quick," I urged, hoping to all hell that no one could see us waiting out here like sitting ducks.

"Schuldich...I..." but Brad Crawford, ever controlled leader of the enemy, wasn't listening to me.

His face had drained of colour, and his eyes were wide and, dare I say it, but I thought I caught a glint of fear in their depths. Now that stumped me, I mean, really...something really big was up. Something ground breaking, something world shaking, but right now, I really didn't care.

"Come on! Either take him to the van or bring him with us!" I shouted out, chiding myself after for raising my voice at all, feeling my feet beginning to twitch for lack of movement.

"Why?" I suddenly heard, just over the roaring of the collapsing building, hoarse and broken, "Why?"

It was Schuldich who was speaking. He sounded like a broken record, cracked and frail, and it stalled me for a second. I stared at his flickering visage, clouded with pain, and realised that his right eye really was a bloody mess. Ken had been right then, my god Ran, what have you done? How could you..?

"Crawford," I managed to push the words out through a constricting throat, "come one, if you don't hurry then Nagi..."

"Nagi's dead," he interrupted, making me grimace despite myself, "I...Nagi's dead."

"Shit," eloquent Kudo, really eloquent, "...I'm sorry. Really, I am...but right now you can't worry about that. You have to get up, get him back to the van and wait for us there."

"Right," he said after a pause, one where I wondered if perhaps he was capable of responding at all, "right."

Yet when he tried to pick Schuldich up from the ground, and I thought that it was my cue to run into the fucking inferno and find our MIA Fujimiya, a feral snarl broke the air and suddenly Crawford was sprawled on his back in the debris and the mud. I blinked, watching the uncontrollable look of betrayal play across Schuldich's face, and tried not to want to know why that was. What the fuck was going on here? Was it because of Nagi..? No, I have to focus on _our_ team, I have to focus, or everything is going to go all to hell, and not just part the way like we were now. I had to focus.

Crawford couldn't meet the German's eyes, that raging glare, and yet the redhead couldn't make it up onto his hands, which looked red and sore, burnt and bleeding. So I snapped, I admit, well wouldn't you at a time like this? The situation was almost laughable, but for the threat of imminent death.

"Dammit!" I couldn't just leave him laying there, so I strode over and hauled him up, turning to shout at Crawford as he slowly began to pick himself up from the ground, like a man trying to put himself back together, "Hurry up, get back to the van and be ready to go and for fucks sakes pull yourselves together!"

With that I felt the need to throw Schuldich over to Crawford just for effect but...I couldn't bring myself to do it. Because when I looked round to him, now leaning on my shoulder, the tears running down his face were real tears, and the pain twisting his face was real pain, and the look in his eyes screamed,

"_Save me from this."_

And I turned then, after steadying him, making sure he wouldn't fall any further than it seemed he already had, and ran towards the fire once more. What I was going to do, I had no idea, other than to stick as close to Yami and Tatsuha as I could before I had to leave them.

Somehow I was sure that finding Ran wouldn't be the worst of my problems. He would come to me before the night was out.

(1) Three words meaning, respectively, "friend", "foe", and "traitor." If there's fighting, at least two of these three words must also exist. I thought it summed up our little group quite well and, if you don't think so, then you definitely will next chapter…

AN: See, I am making up for lost time! Hope this is okay, I had a read over to check for typo's but I have more than likely missed them all as I usually do! Thank you to Rio Hime, I hope this made you happy, I do try to please and I'm very glad you like it! And, of course, thank you to the wonderful Gillian Sillis, girl you definitely know how to review! Thank you again so much for pestering me about this story and I am sorry it's taken me a while to get back to it.

Thank you for reading my humble chapter, I do hope you feel need to review (oh I'm getting so close to 100 reviews!). I think I need to have a prize for the big 1-0-0, right? How about a short ficlet of choice? Or is that too overdone already, I do love to be original hehehhehe...okay, I know the irony of that statement is quite appalling but there you go! There will be something for the 100th reviewer! Thanks again for reading!


	45. Tomodachi

Disclaimer: I don't own Weis Kreuz or Schwarz, or the anime would have been quite different :P

Warnings: Violence (it's becoming a bit of a staple), angst (who could do without it?).

**Chapter 44**

**Tomodachi**

The dripping of the water around me was steadily increasing, like a simple voice building into a chorus until it is all you can hear. Yet, despite the subtlety of the noise, it left no room for disregard, forcing you to listen to it. Believe me when I say that I had tried to distract myself, but my ears always managed to pick out the steady beat.

"I'm worried," I said out loud into the noisy silence, "it's been almost...three hours now. I wish I knew they were all right."

I don't know why making the words heard, making them concrete, made it any better. As the soft echo of my voice faded the drips answered me with their tuneful dance across the concrete floor. The lights flickered briefly and then stabilised, emitting a brief buzz. One of the old rusty pipes to my right creaked like feet on floorboards and I jumped, staring at it warily as if waiting for something. I waited the length of another silence before relaxing again, it was nothing but the building shifting under the pressure of the rainwater. I sighed, scratching my itchy nose before standing and stretching.

I felt disgusting, it wasn't so bad when I sat still and tried to focus on something else, but when I stood and moved around I couldn't help but smell the fact that I was badly in need of a shower. I could feel the grime, a layer between clothes and skin, feel the itch of grease in my hair. If there had been a mirror handy I'm sure I would have died of shame, but thankfully everything in this basement was corrupted with rust. My stomach rumbled as I walked across the damp, cold floor and I ignored it as I had done for the past hour.

"Here's me worrying about showers and food," I smiled sadly, "and whether everyone's okay, and whether...has there ever been a time where I didn't have to worry about something?"

As my shoes scuffed against the floor as I stopped I shoved my hands into my pockets and let the silence descend on me again. I dropped down to crouch on my haunches and, as I balanced there, the sound of soft breathing reached my ears over the dripping. Ken's eyes didn't flicker behind his closed eyelids, he simply lay stagnant, prone before me.

"Suppose I can't help it," unconsciously I brushed a soft lock of hair from his closed eyes, "I'm sure you'd tell me I don't need to but..."

My hand fell away as I left the sentence hanging; I found that my heart was beating faster and my head dropped down to my chest. I wobbled on my feet and then put my hand out to steady myself on the warm straw packing sheet which I had laid him on.

"Everything will be alright Ken," I said as if to him, although I knew it was to myself, "I promise."

As I sat down beside him and pulled my legs up to my knees, my helplessness and torpor weighing down heavily on me, I let Ken's even breathing soothe me. I pulled the solid bulk of my crossbow towards me, the scrape of metal on concrete loud in the silence. There was nothing I could do so no sense in worrying, I could only hope that Yoji made it back in time, and that he brought Ran with him.

I stopped thinking about it and the silence returned. The drips sounded oddly like laughing voices this time, like children playing in the rain. It was so distractingly familiar, such a welcome change to the sound, that I almost missed the thumping of feet on the ceiling overhead.

* * *

The fire was everywhere, its intense heat and overpowering roar instilling in me the urgency of the situation. Of course, the fact that the building I was currently running through was on fire, and probably had been for a while now, really should have been incentive enough.

"Do you know where you're going?" I pulled the piece of cloth away from my face and called to the slight figure of Yami as we avoided another blocked hallway."Just stay close, I can feel it, I know where he's hiding!" he called back over his shoulder, Tatsuha up ahead shimmering in the heat.

I had no real reason to trust him, but in my situation I didn't have any choice. I must be a freaking lunatic to do this...but then it wasn't the first time I had run into a burning building to save one of my team. Albeit that Omi was unconscious when I found him, but then I could only hope that Ran would be unconscious when I found _him_. It would make my life all that much easier. Of course, with the way that my lucks been going, I wouldn't hold my breath.

Ha ha ha, no pun intended, honestly.

The room we had just passed into seemed vividly cooler than the hallway, the fire not having spread to it yet. We seemed to be steadily moving away from the source of the blaze, which would make sense. I couldn't see our enemy hiding in the burning part of the building, although weirder things had happened.

Of course there was one thing I could thank the fire for, there was no real chance of us coming up against any real resistance. So far we had only come up against one other person, a man dressed in long flowing dark robes, skin pale with sweat and eyes almost unseeing as he ran straight past me and through a door to my left. It seemed that all of our enemies were too engrossed with escape to notice insurgents. Well, can't really blame them now, can you?

We finally barrelled out into an almost quiet corridor, only the faint sound of cracking wood and dull screams echoing its surface. I frowned, blinking as the lights flickered.

"This isn't right," I whispered out, not sure why I felt the need to keep my voice down."No, it isn't," Tatsuha said as he stood a little way ahead of me, "there is strong magic here. It doesn't stop the fire completely, only slows it.""Why aren't they putting it out?" Yami asked with suspicion, "I know he can.""Perhaps they're setting the stage," Tatsuha's voice was cold and hard as he began to walk edgily down the corridor."You mean they're keeping it at bay simply to give us time to get there?" Yami said, his eyes narrowed."More than likely," the blonde replied, "they don't want to remove the threat of the fire, but they also don't want it to interfere. Also, it'll block our retreat, if it comes to that.""It won't come to that," Yami said confidently, "this is where it ends.""I wish I had your confidence kid," I said with a shake of my head, "but I'm not here for a fight, I'm here for my teammate."

Yami's eyes were almost smiling as he turned to look at me.

"We haven't had any help for five hundred years," his voice suddenly sounded more mature than his face allowed, "we don't need any now. I don't expect you to risk yourself for us. But we have a common goal, might as well stick together, ne?"

* * *

I don't know what was wrong with me. I never lose my vigilance, I am always alert to my surroundings, I don't miss details. Yet when Schuldich made his grand entrance suddenly all I could worry about was him. In fact, it seemed that I had worried about him enough that I didn't notice someone wasn't standing where they were supposed to be when I turned around.

"Farferello!" I no longer cared that I was shouting, "Farfarello!?"

Schuldich wouldn't stand still, trying to stand, to walk a little, staggering like a drunk. I kept my hand on his arm, trying not to worry about him, about Farferello, about anything as the world turned upside down around me. Then I heard her voice.

"My, my Crawford I don't remember you as the forgetful type, lost something?"

"You!" so very eloquent, but I could think of nothing better.

One second Schuldich was there, a warm pressure under my right palm, and the next he was racing over the rain slicked ground towards Lorelei. A choked sound of alarm left my throat, but did no good. His nails raked across her cheek, letting the blood flow and mingle with the rainwater. She shrieked, landed a punch on his jaw hard enough to send him sprawling, although it wouldn't have been hard in his state. I rushed to his side as he somehow managed to scramble back to his feet, taking hold of his shoulder.

* * *

The rain was blurring everything. All I could think, as I watched the world falling and burning around me was that she surely wouldn't have let me go that easily.

My head hurt, a lot. In fact, now that I thought about it, it wasn't the rain that was making the world blurry. My vision was affected by the pain coursing through my skull. I had only noticed it after Crawford tried to make me walk. Then it started, and then I noticed it was hard to think. Then the searing pain made itself known, and I found my mind trying to crawl inwards, away from the pain, trying to take my consciousness with it. I blinked and staggered, but Crawford's hand wrapped around my bicep with a growl.

All I could hear was his suddenly frantic cries. Brad was never frantic, not even in the direst of situations, and it set me on edge. Or it would have done if I could concentrate long enough to set myself on edge.

"Farferello! Where are you!?"

Farferello? Why was he calling for him? Where was he?

"My, my Crawford I don't remember you as the forgetful type," the voice was startlingly close, enough to make my skin crawl, "lost something?""You!" came the furious reply.

Then there were hands around my arms and I was pulled backwards towards a solid chest. The pain in my skull doubled and my eyes took in the blurred blonde hair of the person in front of me. Dammit, could the bitch not leave me alone for one fucking minute! Images of her cruel smile as Nagi dropped to floor suddenly flooded through my mind and I snarled, hand lashing out, intent on her flesh. Either Brad really was slipping or I was stronger than I felt, either way I managed to break free and lunge for her. Somewhere deep down I felt a sick satisfaction as I felt my nails break her skin and draw blood, the warm wetness slick against my rain cold fingers. I heard her scream out, more in surprise than agony, and then a solid punch sent me flying to the ground. I coughed roughly and blinked, my vision doubling and then solidifying once more. I felt Brad's hand on my shoulder but couldn't bring myself to open my eyes.

AN: Yes it's a horribly short chapter but, you know, I'm having a bit or writers block at the moment (as if you couldn't tell, sorry everything is so hideously late!)

Maiko x

PS: To Gillian Sillis – he he thanks for your message, it's always so encouraging to me when someone bugs me about updating! Sometimes I wonder if anyone's actually waiting for new chapters or not, but you always make me happy with your 'Where the heck's the next chapter!' messages! Okay, hope this is okay until I can get the next chapter up! Thanks again!


	46. Jonin

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or Schwarz at all, all credit to Koyasu Takehito.

Chapter 46

Jonin

_The sakura had been in blossom, I remembered it vividly, smelt it in the air. The delicate petals had littered the ground, disturbing the flow of the energies in the garden with their chaotic placement. And yet...it was still beautiful, despite its corruption._

_The sight was graceful, and somehow calming. I lifted the tea to my lips and sipped silently, legs crossed beneath me upon the wooden deck. I watched the garden through the steam from the cup and blinked slowly. Peace and quiet, the slight rustle of the breeze through the maple trees, the sweet trill of a bird, hidden within the foliage. I could feel the house behind me stirring but tried to ignore it, hang onto this peace just a little longer._

_It was early, even for me, to be rising. Before dawn, although I had not cared to take a proper estimation. All I had known was that the house had been silent and dark, and I could not sleep. I had set the fire and boiled the water almost sub consciously, making my way softly out to the garden to sit and tend to my thoughts. I had been sitting here for hours, but when I tried to recall what I had thought throughout my meditation I couldn't place anything specific. I brought the tea back to my lips and wondered if my mental state was slipping. I never usually found myself this...wandering. Even when I considered my nights activities._

"_How long have you been sitting there?"_

_The voice genuinely startled me and I tried my hardest not to react. Yet, while still out of sorts, I managed to spill some of my tea onto my dark yukata, frowning in displeasure at my reaction and its consequence. I turned to look over my shoulder to confirm that the voice I had heard belonged to the person I believed it did. Kansuke-san stood, a tall and slightly imposing silhouette against the open door behind me. The shy morning light was rising on the east side of the house, casting itself through the windows to outline his figure without illuminating his features. I rubbed absently at the wet patch on my clothing and turned back to the garden._

"_Good morning Kansuke-san," I said back after a moment's hesitation, trying to recall the passage of time "honestly, I cannot say."_

"_What you mean to say," his rich voice inched closer while his tread remained silent, testimony to his skill, "is that you've been here too long."_

"_Or not long enough," I replied quietly, setting the remains of my tea to one side as he settled down to my left, pulling at his yukata as he made himself comfortable._

_He sat and stared at the garden, his gaze a mirror of my own. I felt that I should be more flustered by this point, should have realised more quickly that I was sitting before my general in improper dress, my red hair loose around my shoulders, my melancholy hardly disguisable. Yet I could not bring myself to care, nor do anything to rectify it. I realised, as I traced the path of a descending petal, that it had been a long time since I had truly behaved in such a manner. The General seemed to encourage his troops to fraternize with each other, to whatever extent the bounds of rank would allow, and was friendly and companionable off the battlefield. I had still found it a little unnerving, but realised that I had been falling into his social habits, even if he had only hired me for this mission alone. Things had recently raged out of hand, however, and fraternizing was far different to real feelings. Last night..._

"_...You're still troubled," he said with a frown, not looking at me._

"_It is nothing," I shook my head._

"_Well," he said in a slightly exaggerated tone, "it does not seem that you are yourself. I don't like my men in a state of unease."_

"_I am sorry you feel that way," I said, head bowing a little as a spike of duty thrust itself through the haze, "but I am not one of your men."_

"_Fujimiya, you are worried about your wife, are you not?" his tone shifted, deep, lulling._

"_...," I hesitated, not sure how to respond, not sure how he even knew, wondering if he knew that his own interpretation of my disquiet was a lie, "she is sick."_

"_Hmm, yes," he replied, nodding, "I am sorry you have to be away from her at a time such as this. Yet I fear that you are needed here even more than you are needed at her bedside."_

"_What do you mean?" I asked after a moment's pause, feeling uneasy at his choice of words._

"_...Is it not usually warmer this close to the end of Spring?" Kansuke-sama avoided my question easily, "It is no wonder that the sakura drops to the ground so early."_

_I nodded in return, feeling a little lighter. I noticed, as he continued to talk, that he had been right. I had been out here too long alone, in fact, I had been too alone for most of my life. The simple sound of the General's deep voice was enough to shake me slightly from my depression, let me focus on something trivial and transient and, for a moment, simply forget that there was anything wrong in the first place._

"_Fujimiya," I blinked, realising that he had been calling my name, turning to look into laughing brown eyes, "ah, I see that you have come out of your shell a little, that is good."_

_I felt a slight blush heat my cheeks and turned my face swiftly back to the garden. I swallowed and tried not to think about why I had come out here in the first place, of what was in my room that I could not consider telling anyone about._

"_Fate can be kind and she can be cruel, my friend," the General spoke on as if he had not noted my reaction at all, "but she does not heed the woe of others, or their joy. I assume your wife never wished you misery?"_

_I swallowed again, ignoring the lump, and tried to do as he asked. I looked at him through the veil of hair falling over my cheek and tried to forget, tried to forget..._

"_I assume you have never met my wife, Kansuke-san?" my light tone surprised even me._

_His laughter was loud enough to wake the house and I blanched. Yet, as he shook his head and wiped at his eyes, I felt as if I was letting something inside of me, or perhaps letting something go. It was not wise to travel life alone, friends and allies alike were something of a mystery to me, but that did not mean I could not find my way through the puzzle._

The smell of smoke filtered through the haze of memory, pulling my eyes from the garden, so far away, back to the dimly lit room in which I stood. The soft light created deep shadows in the corners, the low roof slightly claustrophobic. I blinked and fingered the hilt of the replacement katana hanging at my side. I was not used to such heavy swords as this, more used to my shikoro-ken with its sharp biting teeth. I had been trained in the use of a katana, briefly, but was definitely no master. As a sword I felt that the weight was wrong, the hilt a little too broad, but it would do.

"Ran-kun," that sickeningly innocent voice sounded from her crouching form in the middle of the room, "are you troubled?"

I turned my face away and hid my emotions beneath a mask of indifference.

"Only as troubled as you would expect a man standing patiently in a burning building to be," I said back with a hint of a smirk tugging at my lips.

"Of course!" I caught her closed eye smile out of the corner of my eye and swallowed, "However you know that I would never let you come to harm, not my dear 'brother'."

"Can't we dispense with this illusion now?" I said irritably, unable to hide my unease at the reality of the situation, "You are my client, I am your blade, no blood ties us."

"Oh, true," she shrugged, dark hair spilling over small shoulders, "but it does tie these bodies, like red ribbons, ne?"

I shivered and tried to stop myself from playing into her words, _his_ words. A perfect snake; body of an innocent, eyes of a murderer. I turned my head slowly once more to regard her, _him_, and forced the distinction of the two into my mind. With her eyes closed and her smile in place it was almost impossible to imagine killing her, yet when her eyes slid open the illusion disappeared and all I could see was oceans of blood. Inhumane.

The longer I had stayed in this body, the more and more my memories had slipped back into place. At first I had been disoriented, terrified, finding myself in this strange and yet familiar body, in this strange yet familiar town. They had taken me from the rain slicked street where I found myself lying, wide eyed and paralysed, to the nearest building and told me exactly what had happened.

I had been brought back. Uesegi had brought me back. I was no longer a prisoner of death.

The thought was so very liberating that it distracted me momentarily from the fact that this situation was entirely insane. I was dead, Ran Fujimiya, Jonin of Iga, bringer of death, killed in the field of battle. Yet now I breathed, now I saw, now I felt. It was almost disgusting in its abnormality. I had looked into the faces of the men above me and frowned, feeling the skin along my forehead crease as I did not recognise either of them, or their strange dress. They seemed to notice this, and continued to tell me about their lord's dilemma, Uesegi Kenshin.

The name brought bile into my throat. I remember throwing up onto the floor and one of the men cursed. It wasn't long after, as they continued their plea, that my last thoughts of Kansuke-san filtered into my consciousness. My memory began to return, slowly, working backwards from the point of my death, further and further back. It was only as I stood here, in this room, wondering how on earth any of this was even possible without demon magic, that I had remembered talking with Kansuke-san that morning more than five hundred years ago.

He had brought me back, Kenshin had brought me back, wrenching me from the otherworld and forcing me back into my body, this reincarnated body. I hadn't really taken full control of my functions until I reached Kenshin's hideout, this mountain retreat. Then I had been free to question him, and yet it was _her_, and he told me of his plan. His plan to rule once more over the prefectures of Japan.

Fool, tyrant. Yet I could do nothing but listen and learn and submit for the time being as he ranted and raved. I was powerless, afraid and entirely alone in this new world of horrors. The world I knew was five hundred years in the past, and the people I loved were long dead. It was as I thought of them that I had realised something.

"_Uesegi," I interrupted, dark eyes focusing on me intently, "this body..."_

"_Ah yes," he interrupted right back, "your ancestor, a pure descendant of the Fujimiya bloodline. The resemblance is quite striking, don't you think, your face and his?"_

"_I hadn't given it any thought," I shrugged, lying blithely; when I had seen his face first I had almost believed for a moment that this was all some horrible dream, and I had never died at all, so true was the likeness, "but that isn't what I was to ask."_

"_Then out with it," his irritated tone belayed her calm expression._

"_How did you...no, I mean his life, how is it that..?" I stumbled over describing something I could not comprehend._

"_Ah, so noble," a smirk, "worrying about him are you? Don't worry, his mind is long gone now, you have full control of your functions yes?"_

"_Yes," I replied numbly._

"_Hmm, then the Fujimiya of this time is truly dead," he shrugged child's shoulders, "I took control of his mind before I pulled you from deaths grasp you see, helped prepare him for the insertion of your mind. It was really quite interesting, and entertaining, to manipulate someone as strong as Fujimiya Ran. I enforced your jutsu skills onto his untrained body, turned him against his own team, his own clan, and made him try to take their lives."_

_I felt my eyes narrow instinctively and I could feel my hands shaking against my thighs. So dishonourable, such a vile creature. Uesegi hadn't changed._

After he had finished his take, I instantly considered taking my own life. He intended to use me, as he had during Kawanakajima, to implement his plans and carry out the dirty work his samurai followers would never lower themselves to. Fools, all of them, not one understood the skill I possessed. However, in the end I decided this was too rash, I would play along. I had pandered to his whims so far and played that part of the loyal assassin, the hired blade. I would wait for my time and then I would strike, then perhaps I could atone for my own sins before returning to the nothingness of death.

Yet...killing that boy, Nagi, it had almost blown my entire act wide open. It had been hard enough to torture the man with the flaming hair, force myself to help that snake Yusuke pull the information from him. Ah yes, I remembered Yusuke with no problem at all, despite his female form. Uesegi's right hand, cruel and depraved as any demons lapdog should be. It was no surprise to me when he had ordered the child's death. But it hadn't made the deed any easier to bear.

"You look suddenly squeamish Fujimiya. You are a nijutsu-zukai are you not, one with the art of remaining unperceived? Your kind do not unsettle easily ne? Do not tell me you have lost your skills along with your memories," the subtle chiding laced his tone, breaking my chain of thought.

"I could not lose my skills even if I wanted to," I said, eyes closed, feeling bile in my throat and quelling it instantly, "it is impossible to lose something which is as much a part of me as my heart."

The door took that moment to slide open urgently. Baba quickly enetered hidden, within the body of another innocent. Baba, Kansuke's lieutenant, the man who had helped lay the trap for his own army, his fellow soldiers, on the fateful field of Kawanakajima along with his comrade Kosaka. The damned lieutenant, traitor and assassin, looked slightly worried. I couldn't help but smile at that. Thankfully, it wasn't entirely out of character.

"My lord, they are coming," he said, slightly out of breath, "Yoshitsuna and Yamagata are here."

"Good," the girl said, standing from her crouch on the tatami, "then we are all set."

"They have another with them, a man, he's Weiss," Baba said, eyes narrowing and focusing on me, "he's come for Fujimiya."

"Is that so," the smile was back on her innocent face, "well, then we'll just have to show him how jonin deal with their pursuers, isn't that right Ran-kun?"

"Don't call me that," I said softly, belaying my rising hatred, "you've brought me back for one last mission, isn't that right?"

"Oh come now," she rolled her eyes and padded softly towards Baba, "I know that you are the best Fujimiya, why do you think I brought you back, picked you from all the ninja I have hired in my long lifetime? You're deception was instrumental in Kansuke's defeat at Kawanakajima, I can't forget such a loyal and rewarding act."

Suddenly Kosaka appeared from the shadows behind the doorway. His face was entirely different, yet as with Uesegi's, his eyes betrayed him. The eyes of a traitor also lived within this man. He produced a soft, thick shawl and wrapped it protectively about his lord's shoulders. I ignored their twin glares and focused on the demon between us.

"I owe no loyalty to you," I said back blandly, noting the stiffening of Baba's shoulders, "only to my own code. I have accepted your mission, I will see it done."

"That's all the loyalty I need," she smiled, "take care of Kudo for me."

With that she walked out of the doorway and down the corridor, flanked by her lieutenants. I followed behind for a few paces before breaking off from the group, listening to the intent crackling of greedy flames as I neared the sight of the blaze.

**AN**: I am very sorry for this taking so long, have had the most ridiculous case of writers block and am stunned that I managed to produce this. I thought for a long time that this story was doomed. However, I think I just needed to get past this chapter and now things will start flowing again.

I want to thank Gillian Sillis again for the nagging! I appreciate it, honestly, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. To all the others who have reviewed so far, thank you! And to those still reading, I hope you enjoy!

Maiko x


	47. Shadows in the Sunlight

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss or the kage bunshin no jutsu either!

**Chapter 45**

**Shadows in the Sunlight**

"_Oh come on Yamagata-kun, there's no way he could possibly win! Do you really doubt my skills? I beat you every time we spar, don't I?" I said with a sly grin._

_Yamagata's face pulled into a frown and he stopped momentarily in cleaning the edge of his already spotless blade. The noon sunshine played over his black hair and lit up his dark eyes. We were both seated on the warm deck leading out into the training grounds, hot and dusty. The rest of our unit were already practicing, the sound of blade on wood, blade on blade, armour on armour, ringing throughout the small compound. The trees surrounding the square patch of dust swayed serenely in the slow breeze, a stark contrast to the dozen fighting men below. The house behind us was silent but for the occasional muttering of the owner and his wife, bustling around preparing the mid-day meal._

"_That's not the point and you know it," Yamagata finally replied, chucking his ragged cloth to one side before standing, "his skills are out of your league, out of all of our leagues! He's a Jonin of Iga village remember, one of the highest regard, and Kansuke-sama asked for him personally. That aught to tell you something."_

"_It tells me that he needs someone to do the dirty work," I felt my expression darken as I looked back out over the training ground and focused on the one stationary figure there, "the code their kind keeps to is nothing to be proud of."_

_Of course the fact that he was the one still figure in the group of practicing soldiers wasn't really his most distinguishing feature. The long spill of blood red hair that lay over his dark, tight fitting training clothes, was more than enough to put him apart in a crowd._

"_There's something not right about him," I said darkly, standing up beside my friend, "that hair..."_

"_Some say it's because he's killed so many, that his hair has been bathed in the blood of a thousand warriors," Yamagata's voice was awed as he spoke, making me roll my eyes, "that's why it's so blood red."_

"_Some say that he has demon blood in him," I turned to look at Yamagata and watched his face take on a doubtful expression, "that his mother lay with a handsome stranger on the night of the full moon, not knowing he was a Katsura-Otoko, and became pregnant."_

"_What...what a foolish thing to say," Yamagata's doubt had wavered a little however as he too sought out the red haired ninja standing in our midst, "and anyway, the Katsura-otoko doesn't exist. They use that as a technique, the ninja of Iga, for when they are in enemy territory. They say that it is because the man in enemy territory is alone, as if being on the moon, just like a Katsura-otoko."_

"_You seem to know an awful lot about this," I said back sourly as I stepped down onto the dusty ground and waited for him to follow._

"_Well Fujimiya-san explained some of it to me," Yamagata said innocently, his love heart shaped face only serving to make him look even younger than he really was, "actually I find it quite fascinating."_

"_Will you find it that fascinating once I beat him?" I said contentiously, knowing deep down that I was really just being petulant, but not liking that Yamagata was interested in the ninja one bit._

"_You're not still going on about that are you?" he said as we found an open space on the grounds and he drew his katana smoothly, "You know that you have no chance whatsoever of beating him, right?_

"_Is that right?" I said tightly, looking over my shoulder to the still inert man who was no behind us, "Well, we'll just see about that then won't we."_

"_Yoshitsuna, wait!" Yamagata's tone was worried, but I didn't let it stop me._

_I weaved my way through my fellow soldiers until I found myself in the small open space that Fujimiya had claimed for himself. It seemed strangely calm, considering the organised chaos that was happening all around us, and the man himself stayed perfectly still. His black clothing was soaking in the light of the sun effectively, making me wonder as to how he withstood the heat of the sun in such clothing. His hands were held at his breast, the index and middle fingers of his right hand extended and held in the grasp of his left hand. My eyes narrowed as I approached further, not but three feet from him now, and he still did not move. I snorted._

"_Fujimiya-san, without a sparring partner again I see," I folded my arms and noticed out of the corner of my eye as those nearest to me faltered in their practice, stopping to look incredulously at me, "how about I offer myself? What do you say?"_

_He didn't move, didn't even seem to breathe, and I felt my hands fist at my sides. Was he ignoring me? But then, suddenly, his eyes cracked open, then opened fully and he turned his head to look at me with those unnatural eyes. Violet in colour, defiantly a demon in his blood. I swallowed inconspicuously, but stood firm._

"_I do not need a partner," he said in that deep voice which sounded commanding and yet awkward all at once._

"_Uh," I stalled, forcing myself to keep going as more and more of the soldiers stopped their training to watch our conversation; Fujimiya hardly ever talked, so it wasn't hard to understand why people were taking notice, "Well then, how about a challenge?"_

"_Challenge?" his eyebrows raised in shock, but a small smile tugged at his lips, "You want to challenge me?"_

_I felt suddenly foolish, like Yamagata had said, out of my league. I turned to look around me, noticing that no one was practicing any more, but everyone had formed a loose circle around us, watching, and Yamagata was there too, looking worried._

"_I wouldn't have asked if I didn't mean it," I said back defiantly, turning back to look at him; he had lowered his hands from their hold and turned to face me fully._

"_Well then, I accept," he said back casually, stepping back into stance and waiting, "although I think perhaps you should remove your armour."_

"_You think it gives me an advantage?" I said back angrily, daring him to say yes._

"_Not at all," he said with what seemed like surprise, "only you won't be able to keep up with me under the weight of it."_

_I heard a smattering of laughter and a few calls from the men around us. I growled in my throat and felt quickly for the ties to my bulky breast plate and gauntlets. I discarded them quickly and efficiently, throwing them to the side until I was in only my tight fitting underclothes, not wholly unlike his own. I picked up my sword and drew it quickly, turning back to face him once more. He had drawn a small knife from his belt, long and diamond shaped with a short haft and a small ring attached where the hilt should be. I snorted, wondering how he could possibly defend against my attacks with such a puny knife. Yet...he was Jonin after all. I would keep my guard up._

_I had tried to wait for him to attack first, but after a whole minute of standing facing each other down, with Fujimiya's unconcerned gaze boring into me, I leapt forwards and lunged expertly at his seemingly prone form. I watched as my blade descended upon him, aimed for his exposed left side, and was almost ready to pull back when I thought I really was going to kill him, when the hand holding the knife moved faster than I had even seen anyone move before in my life. One moment it was by his right shoulder, the next it had descended to deflect my attack efficiently. The blade twisted in his hand and turned my own blade out to the right, throwing my attack to the side and leaving me open as I stumbled. However he did not take advantage of this fact, simply falling back into stance and waiting for me to recover._

_The air was tense all around us, eyes fixed to us, everyone watching. I felt my heart pumping doubly quick through my veins. So fast, it was almost impossible to believe anyone could move as fast as he. He couldn't possibly be of this world. I shook the thoughts from my head, concentrating on a strategy that could possibly sneak pat his defences. I lunged again, slicing up towards his face, waiting for him to deflect at the last moment like he had done before, feeling a slight satisfaction as I saw his hand move, but then suddenly stop. My momentum was too much, too fast, I had been expecting him to block, relying on it, so much so that I couldn't pull my blade back in time. There was a collective gasp of horror as the tip of my katana sliced neatly from Fujimiya's chin, up through his face, and exited from his forehead. The world seemed to stop moving, my hands were so tight around my katana that I thought the bones would burst through the skin. I watched in detached horror as his lifeless corpse flew back in slow motion, his knife dropping to the dirt, and then his body hit the ground heavily._

_What had I done? Kami, what had I done!_

_Then suddenly there was a shout from behind me, a rustling of leaves and then something cold and sharp was pushing against my throat. I couldn't move, arm still outstretched and holding my sword, wondering insanely for a moment if it was Kansuke-sama behind me ready to behead me for my indiscretion in killing a fellow comrade so heedlessly. However, the sudden shouts of the men around me awoke me from my haze._

"_How did he do it! That's amazing!"  
"Now I know why they call him the master of the silent kill..."_

_I blinked, looking down at the corpse in front of me which had fallen, the wound I had inflicted not pouring blood, but dust instead. The same dust as we stood upon. Then he spoke._

"_First rule of engagement," Fujimiya spoke from behind me, the steady knife at my throat held in his hand, "know your enemy."_

_I dropped my blade but didn't move, watching in awe as the corpse dissolved back into the ground. The knife disappeared, as he obviously took my actions for the surrender that it was, and I turned to face him. There he was, Fujimiya, an exact copy of the man I thought I had just killed, standing behind me whole and very much alive. Lots of different questions were clamouring to get out of my mouth, like how he had managed to create such a perfect clone of himself without my noticing, how he had managed to move so fast, how, how, how...? Yet all that finally came out was..._

"_Thank Kami," I sagged letting out all of my pent up breath, "I thought I'd killed you!"_

"_..." he seemed to stall, as if this wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting at all, before cocking his head to the side and shrugging, "not at all."_

"_But how did you..?" he seemed to expect my next question however._

"_When you stumbled," he said simply, "I broke your line of sight. This gave me time to perform the dou bunshin no jutsu. I knew that if you believed me dead your shock would give me time to neutralize you."_

_I stared at him, openly gaping. The murmurs of the others were nothing but a conglomeration of sound all around me. He was...amazing._

"_The earth clone technique?" I said dumbly._

"_Yes," he nodded, "although I can tell you no more of my methods. If you learned of them, I would have to kill you."_

"_No danger there then," I held up my hands, smiling, even as Yamagata came rushing over from the crowd, "how about we start again? I think we got off on the wrong foot, as they say."_

"_..." again he seemed lost for the right words, confused by my attitude, but finally nodded, "as you wish."_

That was the memory that assaulted me when we had faced him down back at the abandoned Esset building, when he and Yusuke had come and kidnapped Schuldich and Nagi. When I realised that it really was him, not the Fujimiya of this time, residing within that body I had raged inside but not shown it. That memory, so far away now, seemed close and yet wrong. Fujimiya had been a traitor, performing the ryakuhon no jutsu to infiltrate our company and take us down at the opportune moment. He had turned the tide during our last battle, on the battlefield of Kawanakajima, everything had happened because of him.

Now here he stood, before us once more, appearing in the dull corridor as if from thin air, and stopping us in our tracks. Yet, as I gazed into his sharp eyes once more, the reflection was not that of madness as I had seen earlier, not that of a traitor which I suspected I would see, but instead it was the same as the gaze from my memory. Calm, composed, completely in control.

"Fujimiya!" Yamagata spat, dropping into a fighting stance.

"Ran!" Yoji shouted, taking an involuntary step forwards.

"Correct," he said, his black trench coat pulled tight around his form.

It was then that I noticed the change in his dress. He had slit the bottom of the trench coat up the middle and then strapped both loose pieces of cloth around his legs with torn strips of fabric. His outfit was once again reflecting my memory, the tight black outfit mirroring his favoured choice of clothes from when I had known him so long ago. I narrowed my eyes but found it hard to concentrate when, unlike before, I felt no malice coming from him.

"You," I said at last, listening to the distant crackle of wood under flame, "why are you doing this?"

"..." he stalled, just like he used to, just like I could always make him do when I confused him with my words, "I...you don't understand. You never did."

"Quiet," Yamagata called out, clenching his fists, "we didn't attack you before because you had a hostage, you coward. Don't think we'll go easy on you this time!"

"It's not..." he stopped again as he was interrupted.

"Ran, I don't care what your reasons are, stop this madness now or I'll kill you myself!" Kudo did not shout this time, his voice merely slipping into a dangerous tone, his eyes glinting.

"No," I said quickly, "you cannot kill him, he's beyond any of us. Together we may have a chance..."

"Wait!" he called out, stopping all of us simply with the tone of his voice; it sounded, oddly, like pleading, "Please...I know, I know you won't believe me but I had no choice. I had no choice but to obey Uesegi. I am sorry..."

"Sorry isn't good enough! Do you know what he's planning!?" Yamagata hissed furiously, "If he gets his hands on the scroll that Kansuke-san discovered everything will be for nothing! And you have the gall to say you're sorry, even as you're helping him again now!"

"He had my wife!" Fujimiya shouted back, shaking his head suddenly, "He had Sakura, he was going to kill her if I didn't comply with his wishes! I couldn't tell you, I'm sorry, I couldn't."

"So you sacrificed us all for the sake of one woman?" I said back harshly, my mind reeling under the sudden explanation; after all this time his true motive had been revealed and, despite my better intentions, it made my heart ache with the relief to learn he had been forced, "How could you do it!?"

"I..." he faltered again as he looked back into my eyes, anger faltering, "I love her. I am sorry Yoshitsuna, you cannot understand how much."

"Why didn't you tell me, we could have helped you!" I couldn't help but shout, my mind still in shock, "You pretended to be our friend and then you betrayed us to that snake!"

"Yes I betrayed you," he nodded, his face strained as he voiced it aloud, "but I was never false in my intentions towards either of you. Please believe me this is as hard to bear for me as it is for you. I was dead Yoshitsuna, dead and he tore me from that, forced me back into his service. But I will not obey him, not again."

"What is going on here!?" Kudo suddenly demanded, "Is this another trick of yours? Because if it is I don't appreciate it! We haven't got time for this nonsense! Ran you're talking shit again and I won't hear it!"

Fujimiya faltered, and I could see in his eyes that he was making quick decisions, his sharp mind wavering back and forth like a reed in the wind. He looked to the floor quickly.

"You don't understand Kudo-san," I said, shaking my head, "this isn't the Fujimiya Ran that you know. This is the Fujimiya Ran that _I_ know, from five hundred years ago."

"W-what!?" Kudo spluttered but quickly regained his composure, "are you trying to say that Ran is like you two? All that bullshit you were spouting back there was true? You expect me to believe that?

"You don't believe your own eyes then?" I said, turning to stare down his angry glare.

"I..." he faltered, "this could all be a trap. I refuse to trust any of you without solid proof. I'm sure you can understand."

"The fact that Fujimiya knows our real names should be proof enough," Yamagata said venomously, "don't you think?"

Kudo hesitated, eyes narrowing as he worked quickly to make a decision on the situation. He stayed ready but I could see him beginning to doubt his own conclusions and wondering whether what we had explained to him before in the leaking basement of the abandoned warehouse had been true. Then Fujimiya took that moment to speak up.

"I can help," he said, almost as if he expected to be cut down any moment, "I won't, _can't_ betray you again. So many sins that I have to atone for, so much blood on my hands. Uesegi has divulged his plan to me, I know his mind, I can help you."

We all stared at him as if he had grown three heads. Here, in the belly of the beast, the main player in all of my misfortune had suddenly offered his hand to me in friendship once more. I blanched as he looked at me with those eyes, those demons violet eyes, and I found them filled with sadness. I shook my head.

"I can't trust you," I said softly, ignoring Yamagata as he agreed too fervently and Kudo as he snorted a laugh, "and I can't forgive you."

"..." more silence from Fujimiya, even as the other two voiced their agreement with my reply; then he looked up at us both and drew his weapon.

I was instantly ready, instantly falling into stance and readying myself for the fight to come. I wouldn't make the same mistake as before, I would wait for him to attack first. I looked to Yamagata and he looked back, nodding. Kudo, standing slightly behind us, was also ready to fight, I could tell from the set of his long limbs. I turned back to our enemy and watched as he moved.

I tensed my muscles, ready for him, and then gasped in shock as he simply held out his hand and dropped his katana to the floor. My companions seemed confused but did not drop their guard. I shouldn't have dropped mine either, knowing that Fujimiya was just as deadly without a weapon as he was with one. But there was something in his actions that held a finality, a desperation filled with despair. Hollowness seemed to pervade his visage. Then he spoke, and my suspicions seemed confirmed.

"Then kill me," he said, shoulders sagging, "kill me before he uses me again. Do it quickly."

There was a deadly silence. Yamagata and I shared a glance; he shook his head and I frowned.

"Asking for death now?" Yamagata hissed out, "I'll kill you after you tell me Uesegi's plans in detail, I want to know everything!"

"Wait Yamagata-kun," I said, falling out of stance and wondering where on earth I was getting this foolish courage from, "I think he means it."

"Yoshitsuna don't be absurd, he's a trained killer, a master of deception! He's trying to fool you!"

"I know," I nodded, sighing, "but it's been so long, I..."

"I understand how you feel," Fujimiya was talking once again, "but I swear to you that I will not harm you again. I swear it upon my own life."

"Your word doesn't mean anything to us," Yamagata said cruelly, "there's nothing you can do to prove your loyalty! It's all a lie!"

"Nothing I can do?" he repeated the words slowly, watching us all in turn, "Then I will kill Uesegi for you, how does that sound? Is that enough of a token of peace? I just ask that you do not get in my way when the time comes. He has become very powerful, much more so than he was when I was under his service before. Yet he is still vulnerable, he still resides within the host body of the girl he stole."

"Aya-chan?" Kudo breathed out, taking a step forwards, "so Aya-chan is still alive?"

"Aya?" Fujimiya repeated, "Is that her name? No, no she is not alive any longer, Uesegi controls her body, that is all, her mind will have been expelled long ago. Just as I was forced to do with this body."

"Then what does he plan?" Yamagata asked, taking a step forwards and narrowing his eyes, "What is his next move, tell me and I may spare your life."

Fujimiya looked up and shook his head, a smile forming along his graceful lips.

"You still don't understand," he said, "I don't want to live, it's unnatural, it's abnormal, I shouldn't be here. I have taken the life of this man, taken his life without even knowing who he is, by being in this body. I deserve to die for all I have done. After I have helped you, I want you to kill me."

"Oh no, you're not getting out that easily," Kudo stepped up to stand beside me now; we were all slowly creeping forwards towards the prone figure before us, "I need you to save Ken, I promised him I'd bring you back in one piece and so that's what I'm going to do. If I have it right, I think I might be able to redeem at least one of your sins, as you call them."

That caught Fujimiya's attention, his eyes flaring up to latch on desperately to Kudo's own. They stared at each other avidly.

"What do you mean?" he asked quickly.

"I mean that I think the mind of that body you're occupying is still alive and well," Kudo shrugged, seeming to choke on his own words as if he barely believed that it was possible; however, after witnessing half of the things he'd witnessed since meeting up with us, I wasn't surprised that he was changing his views, "and that I need to take that body back to save my friend."

"Then...then you can do with me as you wish," Fujimiya nodded, surprising me with his compliance; perhaps he was sincere after all? "But first we must stop Uesegi, he is planning to follow through with the time merging technique."

"The time merging-what?" Kudo said with a frown.

"He is going to conjoin the past and the present," Fujimiya said as if it were obvious, taking in our blank stares and then elaborating, "he plans to regain his old body by overlapping the past and the present. He hopes to be able to bring back his lieutenants bodies also, as well as that of any of his other followers who had helped resurrect him. Then his powers wil be restored to him. He's rebuilding his army, don't you understand?"

"Kami-sama," Yamagata breathed out, "I didn't think...he was that powerful. No one has performed the heigou kokugen no jutsu successfully! He must be out of his mind!"

"Well I'm not willing to take that chance," Fujimiya said back tersely, eyes flaring, "and I'm sure that you aren't either. Now that you know, and now that you understand how powerful he has become...will you accept my help? Or will you stay out of my way?"

--'heigou kokugen no jutsu' 'time merging technique'

AN: Well look at me with the kind of quick update. Okay, sorry if anyone was expecting more of the other characters, but they'll be in the next chapter, I won't leave you hanging forever honest!

Maiko x

To Gillian S. – another thorough review! You almost guessed my motives for Fujimiya's betrayal, but there's more to it than it seems at first! Glad you liked it!

To Heather R – I'm so glad you're still reading! Sorry for the long wait, when you say years I realise suddenly just how long this story has been running for – oops. But I'm glad you're still enjoying it, and I hope that you liked the chapter.

To Vera-sama – Ah, I'm glad you're enjoying my story, thanks for the support! I love it when you come across a story that fits everything you were hoping to find, it makes me happy to have written a story that fits for someone else. I can't believe you read a chapter of my story over the phone to someone (blushes) that's so...cool! I hope you enjoyed the update.


	48. Because

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

Warnings: Blood, gore (Sorry HeatherR!), a little swearing.

Pre-note: This chapter is dedicated to GillianSillis, because she is wonderful (and isn't afraid to kick my ass into gear).

**Chapter 48**

**Because**

Darkness, that was the sum total of my conscious thought as I drifted somewhere between waking and sleeping. Or...I thought it was somewhere around there anyway, but I couldn't be sure. I'd fallen asleep, hadn't I? I remember, no, wait, I don't...

"_...he's here, I just have to wake him up."_

A voice in the void, my voice. Slowly, torturously, the world wrenched back into focus and the darkness began to dissipate. I blinked, waiting with the anticipation of a condemned man, trying so hard to remember and yet somehow trying desperately to forget at the same time. No, there was no time for that, there was no time to be scared anymore. Ran was dying, _I_ am dying, fading, both of us. There was light shining through the dark now, in burning patches, like disintegrating celluloid. They shrivelled at the edges, the light like greedy fingers reaching out for each other, fighting to conjoin, to dispel the gloom. I blinked again but the picture did not change. The darkness was slowly consumed and I was left, finally, in a void of hazy white, like thick fog.

"I thought I told you to wake up," Ran's voice, but lost into the white haze all around me I couldn't locate him.

I felt my breathing speed up and forced myself to move. Amazingly, considering all of the weird crap that had been happening to me lately, I felt no hindrance to my movement. I stood up easily, staring about myself fruitlessly. I couldn't _see_ anything, I couldn't see him! Dammit Ran!

"Ran? Ran!" I couldn't help the panic, I couldn't stop it, oh god, am I dead!?, "Where are you?"  
"Baka, I'm right here," a voice brushing past my ear, I shivered and turned but there was only more fog. Then the thought hit me and I froze.

No, no! I can't be dead, I can't! This...this is just another dream, I'm dreaming aren't I.

Aren't I?

Oh god, oh god.

"Ran," my voice was failing, cracking, head filling with desperate thoughts, "Ran please..."

The fog swirled calmly, glowing as if lit from behind with bright sunshine. I thought I felt a hot, wet tear slip down the side of my nose but, when I lifted my hand to brush it away...blood.

"Ahh!" I actually took an involuntary step back, trying to get away from the sight that followed me; blood dripped thickly from my fingers, seeping steadily down under the cuff of my jacket, staining it red, "no, no, not like this..."  
"You're dying," Ran's voice was hesitant, somewhere behind me again, why can't I _see_ him!  
"I'm dying," I said hollowly, more just repeating Ran's words than actually registering them, "dying."

I looked down, trying to find the source of the blood but couldn't see anything except the widening pool beneath me. I blinked, choking back a horrified cry, feeling bile rise into my throat. It was running, _running_ down my legs staining my jeans with thick streaks of red. I couldn't take my eyes off it, away from the rivulets of blood trickling over my boots, down through the eyelets and soaking into my socks before leaching out through the stitching, tumbling over the laces and dripping down onto the white ground. I heaved in breath, forced it back out. I brought up my other hand and numbly pulled my jacket open, terrified of what I'd see, terrified that Ran was telling the truth, terrified...

I felt the scream come out but didn't register making it. The sound fell away and was absorbed into the thick atmosphere. My hands trembled as I held open the loose flaps of my jacket and stared, transfixed, at the knife in my chest. It was slipped neatly in between both halves of my ribcage, straight through the sternum, run so deep that only the hilt remained visible. I felt more tears running down my face and blinked absently. I felt my knees shaking and didn't have the presence of mind to stop my body from falling, slipping down to a jarring stop as my shins hit the wet ground with a slap. The pool was widening by the second, drifting out into the haze as if in search of something.

I wanted to look up, I wanted to look _away_ but I couldn't. It was only as I felt my slick fingers slip and let go of the leather that I realised something. The hilt, it wasn't of a knife, I recognised it, it was...

"Sword," I croaked out, feeling the atmosphere twitch upon hearing my voice, "Ran's sword."

No, can't be, no it can't be, it can't...

"I'm killing us," Ran's voice said hollowly, "it's my fault."  
"No," I felt my voice break into a gargle and then my eyes watered and I panicked as blood churned up my throat and splattered out to join the rest on the floor.

I heaved and coughed and felt the stickiness on my chin but I was losing feeling in my arms and couldn't bring them up to wipe it away. My mouth filled with the bitter metallic taste that made me gag and I felt the sick retching up my oesophagus, heaving out into the pool of blood. I choked and spat, coughing harshly. I felt weak, I was shaking all over now, suddenly somehow feeling the blade inside me, moving with me. I could imagine it protruding from my back, simply because I had seen it run through so many other men, dripping with gore. A soft whimper escaped my throat and blood dripped from my chin. When the last of my energy left my limbs and I slumped onto my side, blood splashed up all around me, creeping outwards, streaking down my shirt, soaking steadily in through the leather. I could sense the feeling leaving my extremities, everything seeming to be drawing back to the epicentre, the sword imbedded in my body.

"Ran, please," my voice was hoarse, eyelids fluttering, breathing coming shorter, harder, pain beginning to radiate out through the nerve endings that still functioned, "please, don't do this. I can't die, we can't die. Have to save you..."  
"You have saved me," I felt fingers gently pressing against my side, against my jacket and desperation seized me, forcing me to strain my eyes up to the left, trying to see him, please let me see him..! "You saved me and doomed yourself."  
"Ran," I wheezed out, trying to ignore the liquid coating my face, soaking into my hair as I tried to move, "why is this happening?"  
"You shouldn't talk," he said quietly, fingers tracing the hem of my jacket; was he really behind me? Why didn't he help, why couldn't I see..!  
"What?" I was losing the ability to think straight, my head was clouding over, feeling heavy, "Why?"  
"Someone might help," Ran's voice sounded suddenly terse, angry, "someone might...damn it. Ken I'm sorry, believe me. I'm sorry for all of this."

The hand stilled. I wished above all else that I could lift up my hand and place it in his, or even touch him. He must be behind me, lying behind me, or he wouldn't have been able to...wait.

"You alright?" I managed a whisper out, the thought that I could hardly speak anymore only just registering, "Ran, are you alright? Ran please, answer me..!"  
"Ken, stop talking," he snapped out, the hand returning jerkily, as if he was straining to even manage the light contact, "I told you not to speak."  
"Gonna die," I said, feeling light headed, "need to tell you..."  
"No," then I heard the pain in his voice and if I wasn't panicking then, I sure as hell was now, "Ken don't."  
"Ran," I coughed out, feeling his had reach over, shaking against the bared skin as my jacket rode up, grasping my wrist loosely and pulling it slowly upwards, "what..?"

I didn't understand why he was doing it. Surely, my unhelpful, failing mind asked, he didn't want to hold my hand in his dying moments? I would have laughed if it hadn't been so fucking painful. Only as he began to pull my arm over my side and, effectively, up my back twisting my limb that I protested.

"Ran what..." I coughed, "the fuck are you doing?"  
"Shut...up," he wheezed out, "you're the one who asked why."

And then my fingertips were running over soft, warm fabric laid over hard muscle. I would have cried out when my fingers came into contact with the blade and it's merciless edge cut into the skin but the pain was insignificant compared to the throbbing agony in my chest. I realised the situation all too clearly, considering my mind was slowly disintegrating all around me. The blade, it went in through me, and out through Ran. No wonder I couldn't see him.

"Oh god," I said, more a whisper than anything else, "we're going to die.  
"Ken," Ran's voice was filled with pain, "I'm...I'm _sorry_. For everything."  
"Can't die yet," I was just speaking without thinking now, I couldn't control my thoughts, I was...scared, "no, no...not like this. Not after everything..."  
"Please, please," there was a voice by my ear, cracking with grief, "Kami-sama."

Then I heard the noise. Banging, there was banging and shouting. Ran was squeezing my fingers with, what seemed the last of his strength. Each tightening of his fingers coincided with the rhythmic banging. Louder and louder and louder.

"Please," he whispered again, soft voice almost lost to the thunderous banging, ringing like thunder.

More and more and more it sounded, until all I could hear was the raging wall of sound. Then a voice sounded out, and it took me a moment to realise that it was my own.

"Someone's at the door," it said, then everything faded to nothing.

* * *

"Someone's at the door."

Ken's sudden exclamation almost made me drop my crossbow.

"Ken!?" I cried out, gripping the metal tighter and trying to focus on both his seemingly unconscious form and the shaking, pounding at the door.

I had been right, earlier, when I had heard footsteps. They had been stealthy, yes, impressively so and they probably would have gone unnoticed if it had been just anyone listening out for them. But I'm not just anyone. I had loaded my crossbow in record time, pulled Ken on his makeshift bed up behind a large rusting pipe and placed him parallel to the wall. Then I had crouched down beside him, mostly hidden by the rotting metal, and pointed my arrow sight at the door. The only question that was running through my head, over and over and over, was who?

Who the hell had found us all the way out here? Esset? It had to be, surely.

And now...we were trapped.

Then the banging had started, and despite myself I moved back against Ken, trying to cover him as best I could. Why did it have to happen this way, why couldn't we just be left alone...after everything that had happened with Aya-chan, Ran-kun, the tormenting and the kidnapping...and now this. This execution hunt, sniffing us out, leaving us no time to think, to _breathe_. Why?

Then the baka had taken that moment to speak.

"Ken! Ken can you hear me, say something!" I was trying not to shout so that I wouldn't be heard, but it wouldn't really matter anyway.

They obviously already knew that we were down here or they wouldn't have found us as quickly as they did. This complex was vast and searching it room by room would take hours. From when I had heard their footsteps overhead to when they had started trying to break the door down had only been a couple of minutes. They knew we were here, knew exactly where we were. But how? And why was Ken talking but not waking up? Suddenly, the banging stopped. I held me breath.

"No use," a muffled female voice from the other side of the door said, "use the grenade."

I only had a moment to blink and mouth the word grenade to myself before registering exactly what was going to happen. I dropped my crossbow instinctively and threw myself over Ken's still prone form. There was a deafening silence and then...

My ears were ringing and I couldn't hear. Heat was washing over me in burning waves and I clenched my mouth and eyes shut. Then there was dust choking my lungs and debris raining down on my back and my legs. I uncurled as quickly as I could and shook my head, trying to get rid of the disorientation, coughing harshly. My fumbling hands found the cold metal of the crossbow, half covered by a large slab of broken door, and hauled it backwards. My ears were clearing as I pulled it jarringly free, crawling back towards Ken as the dust settled and I looked up. I crouched up slowly, retaining my death grip my weapon, desperately wanting to turn, to check on Ken, to make him _wake up_!

However there were more pressing matters at hand. Like the six masked, armed men in black pointing AK-47 rifles at me.

"Drop it!" one of them ordered, his voice muffled by the helmet and my still disoriented hearing, "Drop it or I'll make you drop it kid!"

I forced myself not to twitch, not to move, not to breathe too heavily. The room had been thrown into harlequin darkness by the blast, half illuminated, half pitch black as one of the lights was blown. The figures shifted uneasily, forming a tight semi-circle around us, the barrels their rifles moving like the head a cobra ready to strike. I swallowed and forced myself to act. If I didn't do something now, I thought, the man would probably make his threat a reality. When I heard the crunching of boot heels over scattered rubble, moving steadily closer, it sparked my mind into action. Slowly, hating every second of it, I lowered my useless crossbow to the ground in the most non-threatening way I could. I kicked it outwards and one of the guards stopped it with a heavy boot, kicking it behind him for safety's sake. Then I pulled back up and stood, hands raised in supplication. The one remaining light buzzed and flickered. The boot heels stopped and another figure stopped at the apex of the semi-circle. Their lithe figure was thrown into sharp relief against the gloom, half painted with light.

"Don't shoot," I said steadily, figuring that this new addition to our captors was the leader considering none of the others had taken any move since I had disarmed myself, "we're unarmed."

I could have been imagining it, or it might have been a trick of the lights but...I was sure that the leader seemed to jump on hearing my voice. I realised then that they too were armed with a heavy pistol, both hands clasped tightly around it. I watched it intently, keeping other others in my peripheral vision, and watched in confusion as it quickly lowered. I frowned, waiting for the order to shoot.

"Lower your weapons," a voice I felt I recognised, husky and feminine, "put them down!"

The soldiers seemed to hesitate, looking over their shoulders at their leader whilst trying to keep their eyes on me. Finally, after she ripped off her helmet and glared at them, they complied.

And I simply stared, hands falling to my sides in shock more than any realisation of there not being a threat.

"Manx..?" I choked out.  
"Omi-kun," she said with a wry smile that reached nowhere near her eyes, hands still clasped tightly around her pistol despite her order to her subordinates.  
"What...what on earth are you doing here!?" I burst, unable to comprehend this turn of events; until forty seconds ago I was expecting to be dying in a hail of bullets by now.  
"I could ask you the same thing," she said, her bright red hair dancing in the flickering light, "but...damn I can't believe you're here. Are you alright? In all honesty, after what's been happening, I never thought I'd see any of Weiss again."  
"I..." I stopped, as if only suddenly remembering, and then turned wildly, "Ken-kun!"

I heard the click of weapons and tried to ignore it. Damn, I was going to have to be careful around these guys, they seemed very twitchy. Not that I was surprised by this or anything, if anyone had a right to be twitchy about this situation, it was Kritiker. Manx however seemed to have taken seeing me as the off switch to any militant action and was ordering her men to "cool it". More than anything, even through that smile, she seemed very confused by this outcome. Obviously the last thing she'd expected to find hiding down in the basement was two stray Weiss operatives.

One of which was entirely unconscious, or so he seemed.

"What's wrong with him?" Manx was standing over my shoulder now, peering down at Ken as I prised his eyes open and tried to gauge a reaction time with his pupil dilation.  
"We don't know," I shook my head, swallowing when his pupils didn't react at all, yet his chest still rose and fell steadily beneath my palm, "we thought it was concussion, but I think it might be more than that. He's been getting headaches and he's been acting strange, fainting, saying odd things..."  
"Hold on, wait, wait, wait," I looked up over my right shoulder and looked into Manx's eyes; she smiled again at me, this time a bit more civilly, "We can't do it like this. You have to explain everything to me, from the start. Look, I'm not here to rescue you but I think you've already figured that much out. Doesn't mean I'm not going to help you when you obviously need the help. But we have our own mission here and, like it or not, you've just become involved."

My mind was racing. I watched, blinking, as she ordered two of her subordinates to head back upstairs and fetch medical supplies, another to escort them, and another two to guard the main entrance to the warehouse and also the top of the stairwell leading down to the room. That left one down here with us. I wanted to ask why, why guard us when we were obviously no threat? Instead I watched detachedly, fingers straying to Ken's pulse to check its regularity. I looked back down at him and felt my lips thin. He was stable, he was breathing, but he was non-responsive otherwise. Not a good sign. And Kritiker, why the hell had they turned up out of the blue here, not that the friendly face wasn't appreciated but...

"Omi-kun, hey!" Manx was at my side again, this time shaking my shoulder to get my attention; I realised I must have zoned out for longer than I had thought as the two soldiers were back with two cold storage boxes full of painkillers, antibiotics and fluid replacement plus a stretcher.  
"We can't move him," I murmured, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong here.  
"Well we can't stay here," she said darkly, "Omi, come on, we'll take you somewhere safe."  
"No!" I pulled back, suddenly realising that there was more to this situation than our safety, Manx had said it herself, "Wait, tell me! Tell me why you're here. How did you find us?"  
"Omi please," she started but I cut her off, not missing the twitchy guards half raising their weapons.  
"I said no! Tell me Manx, how did you find us," I couldn't help my tone from darkening, "and why? You didn't expect to find us here, did you. What were you expecting? Tell me!"

The redhead hesitated, seemed about to argue and then simply sighed and stepped back. Her eyes looked more strained than angry, but despite that she acquiesced.

"We were homing in on a signal," she said quietly, only the steady ever present dripping of water as a background, "and it lead us here, to your exact location."  
"...What signal?" I asked slowly, trying to think of the multiple possibilities that could stem from this, or whether or not she was lying.  
"Omi we know that you've discovered that the One has been raised, and we know that Abyssinian has defected and joined forces with his armies," Manx's smile and her placating voice had disappeared, replaced by a stony business demeanour, "we also know just how dangerous the One has made him. Fujimiya Ran has been marked, we need to eliminate him if we're to have any chance in this fight, it will be a debilitating blow to the enemy. We've been tracking his brainwave activity with the aid of a telepath..."  
"Kill him?" the words sounded foreign on my tongue as I cut her off, perhaps simply because the thought had never even crossed my mind; kill Ran? No, we were going to _save_ him... "you can't, no wait you can't! We need him back, you don't understand, Ken..!"  
"Omi listen to me," now there was an air of desperation in her voice and she took a step forwards, "I know that you've come into contact with him but it doesn't explain why we're getting these readings! Tell me Omi, why are we reading Fujimiya in this basement! Is this a trick? Because believe me if it is I won't hesitate to blow you both away at the first sign that it is."

I stopped the tirade of curses, denials and sheer fury that wanted to spew out of my mouth and probably get us both killed. Us? Tricking them!? What kind of a sick joke was this? Surely it should be me asking them that! They were the ones who came barging in here spouting crazy stories about tracking Ran and trying to kill him and thinking he was in this basement when he so obviously fucking wasn't...

...here...

...oh no.

"Omi!" Manx was definitely desperate now, but it only filtered in slowly through my shock.  
"No, it can't be, I thought he was _kidding_..." I blinked and looked away from Manx and the twitchy guards, down to the shallow breathing man on the floor.  
"What are you talking about?" Manx asked, taking another step forwards that I think she thought was threatening.  
"Ken he..." oh yeah, _this_ wasn't going to sound insane at _all_ Tsukiyono, "I think that...Ran is inside Ken."

Oh yeah, it did sound more insane when I said it out loud than when I said it in my head. Who would have thought it?

"What?" Manx sounded more confused than disbelieving.  
"Ken he's been acting strange and earlier, before he collapsed he," I turned to look her in the eye, trying to make her understand, "his eyes, they changed colour and he...he spoke like Ran, I mean, he _sounded_ like him."  
"That's impossible..." but the word seemed to fade away on her tongue and become lost to the background noise, as if things were becoming more and more believable, even though they sounded unfeasible.

After a moments silence, where I desperately tried to come up with something perhaps more convincing, she sniffed, shrugged like she was finalising an internal debate and looked back to me.

"I think you've got some explaining to do," she said, finally holstering her pistol, "we're getting out of here and you're coming with us. I want to hear this story from the top."

**AN:** Oh god, I'm so bad, I can't believe I've let this story go for so long without updating. Honestly, I am really sorry everyone! I hope you're not throwing rotten tomatoes at me now...sniff.

Okay, hope this is satisfactory, considering it's the third revision of this chapter and I threw away lots of ideas before finally thinking this was the best way to go. Ugh, still so much left to go, but I will finish it! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed or read this story and has stuck with it, you're bravery is commendable! And I really appreciate it!

Ps: Sorry if Ken sounded a little American Gothic in this chapter, it wasn't intended :P

Maiko


	49. Goodnight

Disclaimer: Weiss and Schwarz are not mine, but I like to think the others are (although I'm sure they'd tell you something different)

Warnings: Oh the usual hehe

**Chapter 49**

**Goodnight**

"I'm with you," god what was I saying? "Let's finish this."

I had the pleasure of seeing surprise on Ran's face before he simply blinked and nodded. God I would never get tired of seeing that expression, it was the only satisfaction I was going to get out of this situation anyway. But...but would it be worth it? Would I be able to get _this_ Ran Fujimiya back to Ken and..?

I've never felt so clueless. Considering all of the horrors and crazy paranormal crap we've been up against in the past, you would think that this situation would be like a walk in the park, ne? Still, it was the not knowing that was driving my anxiety more than anything else. If we got Ran back, then what? How did we pull one out of the other and put him back? I couldn't even begin to comprehend how Ran had ended up with Ken in the first place, never mind pulling off the reverse procedure.

Still...

It didn't mean that I wouldn't try anything in my power to make it happen.

I pulled myself back to the present, glancing at my companions out of the corner of my eye. Yami and Tatsuha seemed separately scandalised and shocked by my words. Yami's ageless eyes seemed to burn with righteous indignation, whereas Tatsuha's seemed more, well, conflicted. The sound of burning wood invaded my senses, forcing me to remember the danger at hand, but then what wasn't dangerous about this situation? Oh right, that'd be _nothing_ then.

"You can't be serious..." Yami said, wide eyed, "this is the man who has been trying to kill you since this started..!"  
"No, that's not entirely true," I shrugged, feeling more than a little reckless, "if I am to believe everything that you have told me, then why am I to disregard what Ran has said? Why am I supposed to only take your account as fact? Let's get real here, if you want me to trust you, then I have to trust him, that's the only logical course of action I can come up with because I have no reason not to. Or, on the other hand, I could just disbelieve you all and sort this out on my own. However, considering that sounds a little like a one way trip to me and I don't generally sign up for those, how about we try my way instead and bury the fucking hatchet?"

If the building hadn't been on fire I was sure the silence that followed that statement would have been ominous. But I couldn't stop, I didn't _care_ what they thought. I only cared about my own team, getting them back, whole and _then _we could fight. Of course, I didn't think that would sit too well with my companions. If I was to believe their story, they'd been waiting for over five hundred years to finish this job. I could respect that, but in the end I wasn't going to bow to their every whim because of it!

"There's more at hand here than just revenge," I continued when no one else volunteered anything, "more than our own feelings, we can't stand here like a bunch of idiots and let our own vendettas get in the way. We have to take this demon out, this guy who's possessed Aya-chan, or there won't be any vendettas left to chase."

Yami seemed determined to say something back to my little speech but, surprisingly, Tatsuha stopped him.

"No Yamagata-kun," his voice was quiet, yet no one spoke over him, "he's right. He's right."  
"Yoshitsuna!" the dark haired boy protested.  
"I said no!" his blue eyes were fierce, "Everything he's said, it's all true. If we let revenge cloud our judgement, then the whole world will suffer. If Uesegi succeeds in his plans, he can bring not only his entire army back to life, but _anyone he wants_! Think about it, our feelings don't matter here, this was never really about us!"  
"But that's not true!" Yami seemed shocked by his own words as they left his mouth, lowering his eyes to the ground, his face showing his shame as his partner stared back at him, "I mean...I..."

The tension in the air was heated and thick. I shifted on my feet and tried not to scream at them that they were falling back into it again, falling back into that emotional trap that made them lose sight of their goal. However, I also wanted to keep my head attached to my body and I don't think that shouting would have been conducive to that.

"Yamagata," surprisingly, Ran's voice managed to sound different when spoken by this other, even though it was unmistakably his, "if you're coming with me, we have to go now."  
"Just give me a minute..." the blond started, swallowing as he looked into those amethyst eyes.  
"We can't wait!" Ran snapped out, but didn't seem to realise what he would get in return.  
"No you never could, could you! Everyone else was always left flagging behind the great Fujimiya Ran who never even looks behind him to see the people he's stepped over, who got him there in the first place! The people who respect him, who like him, his friends, his..." the angry words choked in his throat and caught on whatever else was coming next, "you never looked back, you _never_ noticed us."

Somehow, and I consider myself a little bit of an expert on these things considering I am a very successful ladies man and can generally read people as easily as dentist waiting room magazines, I felt that when Tatsuha said 'us' he really mean 'me'. I frowned at the implications.

"And now you've sprung back to life and you think we'll all just fall into line behind you, agree with your every idea and obey your every whim?" the bitterness there was tangible, "You abandoned us! And I can't ever forgive you, don't you understand what that means, what you've forced me to do? I can't ever forgive you, and it tears me apart!"

More silence. I swallowed, shifting from foot to foot, my angry inner monologue of only moments ago somehow lost to the despair of the display before me. I shook my head. No, I had to focus. But before I could speak however, Tatsuha beat me to the punch.

"So give me a minute, okay?" he said softly, almost pleadingly; this guys mood swings were impressive, and I say that having lived with both Ken _and_ Ran combined.

When I looked back to Ran, again I had the pleasure of seeing shock cover his features. Tinged with sadness though, and somehow that sucked the victory out of it. I felt my frown turn to a scowl. I looked over to Yami, noting his dark eyes fixed still on his feet, and his clenched hands.

"You really...it's us you believe in, isn't it?" he said finally, surprising Tatsuha by speaking first, "I know, it isn't about us, but this is _our_ fight. You can't just..."  
"I'm not going anywhere," Tatsuha said firmly, stepping forwards to take hold of Yami's shoulder with his right hand, gripping tightly, "I promise you that."

Yami's stare was enough to make a grown man quail, but Tatsuha just stared right back. I guess in a relationship that's lasted as long as theirs you become immune to any sort of intimidation. Slowly and quietly I stepped around them and walked further down the corridor, checking for the presence of the enemy. But still the building was strangely empty. We hadn't seen a single soul since that one fear blinded man ran past us in the hallway earlier. And even though it had registered with me on some level, I had been ignoring it until now in favour of trying to find my way to Ran. Now he had presented himself however, my senses were kicking back in. Where the hell _was_ everybody?

"Alright," I heard Yami's voice and turned away from my search of the corridor to watch the boy, "okay, I'll let him come with us."  
"Let _me_ come with _you_?" Ran's eyebrows raised into his fringe; however his tone was not malicious, only confused.  
"No antagonising the compliant people now Ran," I smirked; even if I didn't know him, I couldn't help acting towards him as if he were my Ran, my Aya, "now let's get on with it, ne? Ran, which way do we go?"

The redhead gave Yami one last stare, which then passed to Tatsuha and seemed to soften. Then he shook his head, turning to me instead.

"Uesegi is gathering his men in the main hall," he said pensively, taking point as he started down the corridor and we, ironically, fell into line behind him, "we should find everyone there."  
"Everyone?" I asked, surprised, "Is that why we haven't seen anyone else around?"  
"Yes," Ran said simply, "Uesegi has retreated with his lieutenants and what remains of his followers. I believe he wishes to complete the heigou kokugen no jutsu as soon as possible."  
"Then we're walking straight into a fight," I said through gritted teeth as he took a left into an identical corridor, then a right, god this place was a labyrinth.  
"No, actually," the assassin shrugged, leading us forwards, "for the jutsu to work, the people it uses as hosts for the souls of the deceased must themselves be dead."

I started at that, not expecting it at all.

"You mean," I said uncertainly, "that when we go in there, that the only person that's going to be alive is...Aya-chan?"  
"Uesegi," Ran corrected me darkly, quickening into a run and forcing us to follow suit, "and yes, that should be so."  
"Why would he make himself so vulnerable?" Yami said with suspicion, "With his current body he's in no position to fight."  
"He believes that you are the only threat here that is worth worrying about," Ran said dismissively, "and that I am dealing with you."  
"So this spell he' going to use," I asked, forcing my feet faster to take me close to Ran as I spoke, "it brings only the souls of the dead back? What the hell use is that?"  
"Not just the souls baka," Ran bit out irritably, sounding strangely like his real self for a moment, "I told you, it merges time. It brings the body and the soul into the same temporal distortion. The soul is pulled up from the underworld into the chosen corpse, and then time itself tries to right the abnormality by pulling the spirits original body into synchronisation. The trick is to keep the body here in your time line when you finish the jutsu, and not to let both body and soul be wrenched back into the past."  
"Eh," I said, panting, "I didn't really get the half of that. But you seem to know what you're talking about so...um, how the hell _do_ you know so much anyway!?"  
"I'm a shinobi of Iga," Ran said as if that should explain everything.  
"And?" I said leaving the comment open.  
"The heigou kokugen no jutsu was created by the leader of Iga village," Yami supplied and I felt my eyes widen in shock.

This thing, this spell that seemed to hold the key to ultimate destruction had been created by the _good guys_? Hey, it might sound naive but these sorts of things never cease to amaze me. Yami continued, forcing me to look over my right shoulder to watch him, trying not to trip on anything as I continued to run.

"When he lost his lover to the jealousy of the shogun himself, he made a pact with the evil spirits and begged them for the ability to bring her back from the underworld," Yami's voice was full of mockery, which seemed a might distasteful considering the subject, "of course the fool did not know that to bring her back would mean sacrificing himself in the process. The aramitama give nothing away for free."  
"Ara-mi-what's that now?" I asked, non-plussed.  
"Put simply, it's the negative side of the spirit, the mitama," Tatsuha clarified, "in our case, we are referring to the evil spirits that inhabit everything, rocks, trees, water, even humans. So technically they are the same, whilst being separate."

Trying to follow this conversation was like trying to take a fucking history exam.

"I'm guessing that as a back-up he thinks that we won't kill him before the ritual is complete because it means killing the girl as well?" Tatsuha was saying to Ran, in his tone ran an undercurrent of mirthless laughter.  
"Perhaps, although I think he knows that you are also very determined," Ran said, taking another right, suddenly slowing his pace, "he knows that you would kill one innocent to save thousands more."  
"Wait, wait," I said shaking my head, beginning to pant at Ran's set pace, "didn't you say they have to be dead? Then what about Uesegi, he's the one you said is doing the ritual right? So how does he change Aya-chan's body to his own if he's still alive?"  
"That's the easy part," Ran said, voice irritably calm and not out of breath at all; I inwardly cursed him his unholy stamina, "the jutsu kills whoever uses it. It's a suicide pact. You are offering the body of yourself in sacrifice to the aramitama, and in return they give you the power to reincarnate souls. The living flesh of a being willingly given is what they hold precious."

I shuddered, focusing on the sound of our feet hitting the floorboards, the unsteady rhythm of my heartbeat. Such a sickening thought.

"But I thought you said no one had ever performed this spell properly, that it had never been done before," I argued, still trying to straighten things out in my head, "now you're saying this village leader guy did?"  
"No," Ran said hollowly, taking a sharp right and forcing us all to skid and slip to catch up with him, "to complete the jutsu properly means saving the soul inside the sacrifice, the one performing the ceremony, for the body that is to come. I have no idea how Uesegi plans to make sure it is his soul that will be implanted into his body when he brings it into this time line. If the jutsu is performed incorrectly or without strong will, the aramitama themselves inhabit the body and use it to wreak havoc on the living."  
"Y-you mean, like a possession by pure evil?" I said blinking.  
"Yes," ran said back, as if he were speaking to a five year old.  
"Then, well then what happened to your leader, the guy in your village," I asked indignantly, eyes fixed on the back of Ran's impertinent head, "if he was possessed by evil, what happened then?"  
"I killed him," he said simply, as if it was the most natural thing on earth; I shivered in response.

Ran then simply slowed to a jog before suddenly stopping. I stopped just behind him, on his left, and looked at the non-descript door displayed before us. I blinked, a little thrown off balance by how quickly we had reached our goal. After all that stupid fighting earlier, and our enemy was only a couple of minutes down the hall...or many, many, many halls...

"It's now or never," Ran said quietly, eyes fixed on the dark doorway; in a way, it was almost as if he were talking to himself.  
"Fujimiya," Tatsuha walked up on Ran's right, standing beside him, and I winced internally at the thought of further delays, "...do you have a plan?"

I felt that this wasn't what he really wanted to ask. His face was passive, but his eyes were strained. Of course his real question did make sense. Sure we all seemed to be a bunch of reckless hotheads at heart, but as professionals we also knew that this situation called for slightly more tact than just running in there and hacking Ran's possessed sister into itty bitty pieces. I didn't entirely understand the relationship between Ran's mind and this possessed body either. If Ran were to know that he had inadvertently allowed such an act to happen to his sisters body without trying to save her, or even worse he somehow managed to witness the act, well... put it this way I wanted to bring Ran back to Ken sane and whole.

Despite Tatsuha's vehement words earlier, everyone was hanging on tenterhooks, waiting for some brilliant plan to come tumbling from Ran's lips. He looked to Tatsuha, then turned fully to face us all, face blank. He blinked again.

"No," he said innocently, as if confused, "I was thinking of just making it up as I went along."  
"...What?" Tatsuha, Yami and I said simultaneously.

We would have stopped him, but perhaps the strain of all that had happened was too much for us to handle. The next thing we knew, Ran had turned and kicked open the door to our enemies hide out and stormed inside. We all blanched, looked to each other and then followed him quickly inside. I wished he'd given us some time to prepare!

But, in the end, nothing could have prepared me for the sight that greeted us on the other side of that doorway.

Bodies.

Dead bodies.

Hundreds and hundreds of _corpses_.

No, not just corpses, they were...mutilated, barely recognisable as human. Piled two, three high in places, limbs and internal organs lying on the floor. I stepped back instinctively, hand raising to cover my mouth and nose against the smell and I...trod on something that I felt give under my weight and then burst, but refused to look down and find out what it was. With every step, there was the splash of blood against the floor. It had pooled so high, not an inch of floorboard was even visible any more. I swallowed and tried to ignore the utter stench of death and decay and...massacre. They'd been massacred.

Then Ran's voice cut through my shock.

"Uesegi...it is time to finish this."

I looked up, vision swaying as I tried _not_ to look at the hideous display before me and found her. The one unharmed, pure, pristine little girl in her white frock, kneeling amongst all of this slaughter. She held her hands in a peculiar manner, fingers twisted and joined together. Her smile was wicked and cruel, but the most frightening thing were her eyes. They were completely black, like pools of ink, no whites or iris visible.

"Yes," her voice, so childlike, "you are correct. You thought I didn't know you would betray me? Poor Fujimiya, you always were clueless, right from the start. But now, despite your intentions, you have sufficiently delayed my enemies."  
"Teme!" I shouted out, pulling my wire free and myself from my stupor; all of my worry for Ran and his mental state was gone, all I could see was death and death and death..."Like we'll give you the chance to speak after all you've done!"

And the wire flew free of my watch, shining like a silver thread against the harsh landscape, streaming out towards her long, pale neck. But it never reached its target.

"Too late," the cruel smile was now a smirk as she adjusted her hands to some other complicated gesture and she cried out, "Bai!"

I didn't even feel it hit me.

* * *

I remembered the day that she had first been 'introduced' to my team at Rosenkreuz. It had been raining, as it was wont to do at the tail end of summer, and it had plastered her blond hair to her head. She seemed almost fragile, flanked by her two stalwart bodyguards, her eyes hidden as she walked slowly down the corridor. I had stared out of the crowded doorway, along with the others in my class, stared at the ragged girl being trawled through the institute like a prisoner on her way to execution. The men had kept her small body out of sight, but when they finally turned the corridor towards us, that was when I saw the blood. Her clothes were thick with gore, bleeding into the ends of her hair against her coat. A prisoner was what I had surmised initially, that was how it seemed somehow, yet I felt somehow proven wrong when I finally caught sight of her expression. Her face hidden behind lank hair, cruel smile shining out around sharp, white teeth, that was my first impression of Lorelei Faxon.

"Schuldich don't be a fool!" I barked out, whilst ironically shaking him roughly; he didn't open his eyes.

"Huh," that cruel tone, sickening, I turned to face her, "you certainly have changed. Never would have thought I'd see the day..."

"Shut your poisonous mouth you shit eating whore," well, at least I knew Schuldich wasn't dead, I thought ruefully as the redhead pushed away from me, stumbling and falling to the ground, "if you're going to kill us, can't you do it quietly?"

"Ha! Oh, don't tempt me, really, don't, I'm so close to slitting your throat I can almost taste your blood," in the half baked light from the flaming building her visage was almost demonic, "just like I'll taste yours Crawford, and your precious Farfarello."

"What have you done with him?" I demanded before I could stop myself.

"Actually, nothing," she shrugged, her blond hair shivering, a plume of smoke beginning to drift casually out through the broken window where Schuldich had fallen, "but when I find him I'm sure we can have a little fun. That is the plan of course."

She moved so fast that I didn't even register that she had disappeared before she had both her hands in my suit jacket and was lifting me off the ground bodily. I swept around for my gun in my jacket, realised it was probably fruitless, and did the next best thing. I brought my right leg up tight and kicked out with my knee, crushing it into her ample chest. She cried out satisfyingly but didn't drop me, instead taking the time to hoist me up and throw me several metres through the air. I hit the ground hard and rolled, head cracking off the solid ground.

"I never did like your arrogance Crawford," she spat, smiling.

"And I never liked anything of you," I said back coldly, finally placing my hand on my revolver and hauling it out, taking aim and blasting three rounds towards her maniacal grin.

I knew that she would dodge, but I had to try something, anything, god I won't die here, I won't let any more of us die here! I fired the rest of the clip in a panic, and just as I did...

"Going somewhere!?" the scream seemed to startle us both, as from nowhere Farfarello lunged from the darkness and barrelled into her fleeing body, sending her back into the path of the bullets.

One entered through her throat splitting the artery, another through her forehead above her left eye, and the other barely missed Farfarello's ear. They hit the ground in a rain of blood and tangled limbs. When I finally managed to stand up and stumble over the treacherous ground, Schuldich was already laughing. The blood pooled around them both as he still lay beside her on the ground, like twisted halos in the puddles of water, staining her still smiling face. Farfarello stood up, clutching at a thick wound in his stomach to try and stop the blood flow.

"Are you alright?" his pale golden eye was alight with the fire, shimmering, and I knew that there was some sort of pleasure there.

"I think I should be the one asking you that," I said sheathing my gun; I pulled my jacket off roughly and threw it to him, "bandage that up, we're getting out of here. Where the hell were you by the way?"

"There were soldiers waiting at the entranceway, I felt them there, in the dark," Farfarello shrugged, looking down to the corpse at his feet, before smiling, "I went to take care of them. They were meant to ambush us."

"I'd rather you inform me of your plans next time," I said, trying not to sound relieved, walking over to Schuldich.

"Where's Nagi, is he still inside?" I heard Farfarello ask the question but somehow, unbelievably, I didn't want to think about the answer, "Crawford?"

"Nagi is dead," it sounded wrong on my tongue, sounded _wrong_; Farfarello was strangely silent, "get up," I said roughly, shaking myself, forcing myself to focus; I bent down into the blood and hauled Schuldich off the ground, pulling the sucking blood with him.

"There's no way," his face almost stopped me as I pulled him round, his eyes filled with tears, mismatched with his grinning countenance, "no way she's dead. A demon like her, she'd never die so easily. She took everything away, everything, she can't be dead. I can feel it, I can...Crawford it's coming...Crawford, what's happening to me?"

His cryptic words were the only warning I had before the blast wave hit.

**AN:** I am a bad, bad lady. How could I leave you all with no updates for so long and then update so quickly you ask? Because I'm bad that's why!

Okay, hope you liked again!

To GillianSillis – Wow, I love your reviews! Really, I never get tired of them! And sometimes you throw some interesting ideas out there too! Hope you liked this one.

To Vera-sama – I'm so sorry I haven't been updating properly! Your last review was way back in April and it's bloody August! I really hope you're still reading and enjoying because there is nothing worse than finding a story you like that never gets updated!

To Ichigo789456 – Sorry about the confusing POV, sometimes when I read it over it confuses even me! But I'm glad you like it and hope you're still reading and enjoying!

Maiko


	50. Demon Moon Carnival

**Chapter 50**

**Demon Moon Carnival**

**Warnings**: Blood, gore, violence, swearing, more gore and some more blood

**Important AN:** Since there has been a considerable break in my continuation of this story I think it's only fair to name the people speaking, so that it doesn't get too damn confusing! Hope this helps. The first voice is Lorelei/Yusuke, Schu's sister who is also a reincarnation of an ancient warrior from Yami and Tatsuha's time (wow that sounds crazy when I write it down!), then it's Yoji for the second part, and then it ends with Schuldich. Okay, enjoy!

I woke to the smell of blood and dirt. The mud beneath my nails and the rain in my hair and the breath in my lungs. I coughed and _felt_ the rough passage of air leaving my throat, but it was oh so different. Everything was different now.

I managed to struggle into a standing position, the sound of shouting far off and carried in the wind. The fire was still burning, low and bright, deep umber and glaring gold. I split my lips apart and welcomed the taste of rainwater sliding down my throat. Then I laughed, laughed with a voice I had not used in over five hundred years.

I looked down to my hands with glee, feeling the grin spread across my face along with my long, black hair. I gripped at it, sliding my hands through the mass, continuing down my body, over the smooth chest now devoid of breasts, down and down. Yes, I was definitely a man. It had worked. It had _worked_!

"My Lord Uesugi!" I cried out in a deep, guttural wail, "Your dream, our dream, my lord! It's coming!"

No more pandering to the limitations of that woman's body, no more disgusting female bodily functions, finally I was back inside my own body, my _own_, all mine. I looked to the smoke scarred sky and screamed.

"I am Mori Yusuke," feeling like a raving lunatic and loving every moment of it, "welcome to hell!"

That was when I remembered the intruders. I slowly floated down from my high, looking to the ground in confusion. That American, and the one eyed freak, and my 'little brother', where the fuck were they? I coughed again, growling in frustration, wishing that I was wearing my armour and my sword, I would have hunted them down and killed them like dogs! Yes, my master, my lord, he would praise me, he would love me! I must kill them!

Yet when I took but a single step I faltered and fell, a sickening pain blooming in my stomach. I crumpled to the wet mud, holding my insides as if they would burst from my body. My teeth clenched together and I keened. The pain, oh kami, why did it hurt so!?

"My Lord," I croaked out through clenched teeth, before the vomit rose in my throat and there was sick mixed with blood all over the ground before me.

I panted, spitting, hating the acrid taste. My body shivered, as if rejecting the vile fluid, but soon I was feeling better. I uncurled my clenched hands, feeling light headed but at least the pain had stopped. I sighed a little, spitting again.

"Once I am restored," I whispered, a manic grin gleaming once again on my lips, "once I am whole again, I'm going to rip your spine out of your body and watch you die, little brother. And as for you, Yamagata-chan, you can watch Yoshitsuna die all over again, and I'll let it be the last thing you ever see."

* * *

When I finally regained consciousness, after watching sweet little Aya-chan's body be used for the darkest of magic, I wished that I hadn't. I was lying face down, my mouth and nose submerged in the blood. I panicked and scrambled back, crying out and choking, trying to get the stench out of my nose, the taste from my mouth. It tasted like rotten things, _dead_ things, and I backed up against something soft. As I looked round only the hollow eyes of a limbless body greeted me. I was leaning against a pile of bodies, their mouths yawning open, calling to each other. I scrambled away, trying to orient myself.

That's when I noticed it.

The body parts, on the floor, in piles, they were moving. Squirming like maggots in a festering wound. I gagged and tried to fight back the hysteria as I watched limbs and sinew groping for each other, like blind men crawling the floor, shifting and finding one another and stitching back together, blood vessels and bone.

"No," I gasped out breathlessly, "no. Wh-what's happening. Where are we? What's _happening_!?"

A hand on my shoulder stopped me in my tracks. I screamed, turning to kill whatever was there, whatever undead fucking freak was trying to touch me. I didn't get very far. Ran stood there, looking into my horror struck eyes with a cold fury. I was glad that it was not for me, because his glare almost scared me more than the twitching, scraping limbs beneath my feet. However it calmed me down, it always had, knowing that at least someone was in control.

"He's bringing them back to life," Ran said coldly, his hand squeezing my shoulder painfully, "his army. The sick fucking bastard."

I couldn't have agreed with him more. I looked around me, finding Yami and Tatsuha stumbling from the ground, much as I had. Somehow they didn't seem as repulsed by the sight as I was, and I couldn't help but despise them their cold attitude. With Ran, even if he wasn't _my_ Ran, I was used to that cold gaze and the unemotional response, but even he was showing some reaction. Then the world froze.

"Well gentleman," a deep gravely sound emanated from the centre of the room, "how do you like my show?"

I followed Yami and Tatsuha's twin gaze, looking at the spot where Aya-chan had once stood. There was a man, tall and stately, handsome in face, the remains of the virginal white dress hanging from his body in rags. His limbs were bathed in streaks of blood, globs of yellow fat and strips of flesh which I could tell, numbly, were not his own. I didn't need to wonder why as he bent to the ground, picking up a random organ from the floor and then squeezing it between his fingers until it burst sickeningly. He watched us with a smile as he spread the remains of the mutilated organ over his tanned flesh. I felt myself back into Ran, his other hand coming up to hold me still in mimicry of an embrace.

"You've condemned them Uesugi," Ran's voice was harsh, "their souls will never rest."  
"Rest?" the monster before us laughed, stepping forwards through the pool of blood, kicking aside a hand as it dragged itself across the floor, "I didn't bring them back to rest, my dear Fujimiya. I brought them back to fight for me. I brought them back to give me power."  
"But you..." I spoke in a strangled voice, clearing my throat before continuing, "you're killing them!"  
"Killing? Oh no, no, not killing," as he approached I could feel the bile at the back of my throat, the hairs rising on the back of my neck, I could feel just how wrong he was, how my body rejected his very existence, "absorbing, little Weiss, absorbing and assimilating. Just as I will do to you and your little band."

I swallowed, trying to ready myself for a fight, but my hands were shaking and I felt weak and sick and so very, very out of my depth. I opened my mouth but the only thing that escaped was a soft cry. He was getting closer, yet I couldn't move.

"I'll kill you," Ran said quietly, his mouth beside my ear as he addressed Uesugi, "I'll make you suffer for everything you have done. I swear it!"

And then he grabbed my hand and ran. The window that he threw me through was thankfully not that high from the ground. Still, I hit the ground with considerable force, and knocked the air from my lungs. I scrambled to get up, trying to wrap my head around the situation, but only too glad to be away from that...that monster. My skin crawled, just from knowing he was in there, with my friends, just being this close to him was instinctually wrong. I was happy to follow Ran's obvious plan of escape.

"Ran!" I shouted up to the window, "Yami, Tatsuha, hurry the fuck up, we need to go!"

The shock of the explosion sent me flying, even from outside. I was slammed into a tree and once again lost the air in my lungs. My back burned with the pain and something was stabbed into my thigh. I grit my teeth and forced myself up, feeling down my leg and wincing at the small branch I found there, imbedded in my leg. I let out a yell and snapped it off, leaving the main part inside my body. The last thing I wanted to do right now was pull it out and bleed to fucking death.

"What the fuck was that?" I coughed out, looking dazedly to the wall where the window had once been only to find a huge hole in its place, "Fuck! Hey Ran! Ran!?"

I managed to pull myself up the tree, staring into the smoke. Then, finally, Ran's bedraggled figure emerged from the smoke, towing a coughing Tatsuha with him. Yami stumbled along behind them, looking pale and weak, but doing his best to run.

"Hurry!" Ran said, catching sight of me, "We have to get out of here, now! We are no match for him, not like this."  
"Yeah, well I kind of figured that, smartass!" I yelled back, pointing to my bleeding leg, "Do I look like I'll be running anywhere?"  
"Fucking hell!" he swore loudly, letting go of Tatsuha after making sure that he could stand, he picked me up bridal style as if I were nothing but a ragdoll, "Do I have to do everything myself?"

So we ran, through the woods with the howling of recomposing bodies and tortured souls dogging our heels. The pain in my leg only worsened as the shock wore off and Ran didn't have time to be gentle. My back ached and I thought I would die every time Ran jumped over a log or made any sudden movements. I bit my lip and felt blood. I think I passed out before we even reached the van.

* * *

"Crawford," I said groggily, opening my eyes; I was surprised to find myself staring at the inside of the van, "what..? Where are we?"  
"Don't ask stupid fucking questions," Crawford growled, coming into view as he strapped me into the seat and then exited through the wide side door, slamming it shut.

I was totally disoriented. Despite the pain and the blood and the smell of fire and death on my clothes, things were relatively calm and quiet. I was strapped into the middle seat of the front row in the back of the van. It was bright and Crawford was moving around outside like a pale ghost, checking the van over quickly but efficiently. Then I noticed Farferello, sitting in the front passenger seat, his head leaning back against the headrest.

"Farf, hey," I said, trying to get his attention, wondering why my chest hurt so much, "what..?"

He turned around to look at me, his one eye seeming to glow in the darkness. He looked so sad.

Sad.

"Nagi," I breathed out, ending in a dry sobbing choke, "oh god, Nagi, we can't leave him, we can't..."

Silence greeted me as I trailed off, body going numb. Crawford climbed back into the van, his movements quick and sure, ignoring me completely. I trembled, trying to get myself under control, to remember what had happened as well as I could. Crawford turned the key and the engine rumbled into life.

"Are you going to leave them?" I heard Farferello ask with genuine curiosity.  
"I'm not risking anything for them," Crawford said darkly, "least of all my team."  
"Crawford..." I said weakly, not sure why I was even speaking.  
"What?" he asked harshly, looking at me in the rear view mirror, "What is it?"

I just stared at him, shaking. This was wrong, all wrong. It couldn't be like this, we were all supposed to be okay in the end. That wasn't how it was supposed to be!

"Fuck Schuldich I don't have time for this!" he put his foot down and the van's back wheels spun in the mud, swerving violently.

We jerked forwards, but were stopped by a sudden yell.

"Stop! Wait! Don't you fucking dare!"

Tatsuha's glare was a force to be reckoned with as he held on to his younger counterpart, but it didn't have a patch on Fujimiya Ran as he bundled an unconscious Yoji into the van. I tensed at the sight of him, but realised that with my mind in the state it was I probably wouldn't be up for a fight.

"Don't worry," Tatsuha said grimly as he noticed my reaction, "I can vouch for him."

That would have to be enough for now, I thought, until we can tie him to a fucking chair and slowly, very slowly kill him. The fucking bastard. The fucking bastard! Once they were all inside Crawford didn't wait for permission, but simply floored it and we sped off into the beckoning morning.

"Fujimiya," I said coldly, glad that I was so weak I could hardly move because I would have lunged at him had I the strength to remove my seatbelt, "you piece of fucking shit, I'm going to kill you and I'll make it last."

Tatsuha looked taken aback, confused, although Yami looked as if some theory of his had been confirmed. Fujimiya only looked cold and detached, his eyes staying focused on Yoji as he strapped him in tightly and tried to stop the bleeding in his leg.

"Quiet Schuldich," I heard Crawford say from the driver's seat, his cold tone only fuelling my rage.  
"Don't you tell me to be fucking quiet you unemotional, hypocritical fuck!" I yelled, "He killed Nagi! I saw him, he killed him, he killed him! I'll fucking kill you Fujimiya!"  
"Ran," Tatsuha's voice was strained but I couldn't focus on it, not with the returning adrenaline pumping through my veins, "is that true?"  
"You fucking murderer!" I screamed.  
"Schuldich kindly shut the fuck up!" Crawford said back tightly, "I'm trying to concentrate..."

It's a good thing Crawford is such a good driver or he would have never seen the other cars coming, and dying in a car crash after going through all that shit would have just been fucking embarrassing.

**AN:** Oh god, how long it has been! That chapter was fun though, I hope you liked it! Sorry if I haven't replied to any reviews (I feel kinda stupid doing it so long after they've been posted, I'm such a lazy asshole sometimes!) but let me just say thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story and I hope it will be done and dusted soon (we're on our way for a small rest period and then the big finale people! Woohoo!) And it will be the reunion of Ken and Ran soon too, oh the excitement!

I also want to say a huge thanks again to Gillian Sillis, my little antagonist who has pestered me so many times to keep going with this story. THANK YOU! I hope this wasn't too gory for you...Same goes for Heather if you're still reading!

Okay, I hope to update a little more frequently than usual after this! My writers block for this story should be officially over (thank god!)

Maiko


	51. The Truth we Buried

**Important AN**: Sorry, I know I haven't updated this story in a long, long time so this is just to let you know that this chapter explains the flashback at the start of chapter 46, so if it you can't remember it please read it if this chapter seems a little out of the blue and I hope it will clear things up. This is set the night before the flashback in chapter 46. I'm sorry, I know I said that I'd get back to Ran and Ken in the next chapter but I forgot about this chapter, which I wrote a while ago and wasn't sure where to put. Umm, I kinda noticed that things get a little mature at the end of this chapter (cough cough) and so I've put the rating up to compensate. It's not too explicit, I hope, so sorry if I offend anyone!

_Italics_ = flashback

**Chapter 51**

**The Truth we Buried**

Ranmaru Fujimiya was the bane of my existence. Ever since myself and Yamagata had met him he was a thorn in my side. Even after I befriended him, all he did was make things more complicated that they had to be. I hadn't been lying when I said that he never noticed us, that he never took the time to care about us, about me, at least...at least in front of others he didn't. I did not like to think about the few times that he showed genuine affection for me, and I for him. It only made his betrayal seem all the more real, all the more painful. Yet as we ran through the woods, running from certain death and jumping into the van with what was left of our group, all I could think of was his bright eyes and his pale face on that one night. A night that I would always keep close to me. Something I had never told anyone about, not even Yamagata. The memory that broke me worst of all when I found out it was Fujimiya, my Fujimiya, that had signed our deaths away to save someone else.

_If I had to choose the thing I liked most about this place, even though the beds were very comfortable and the food excellent, it would have to be the saké. For regular soldiers like us, good saké was a rare luxury and, in all honesty, when the frail old lady who ran the establishment brought it out, I was instantly wary. All I could think was that this was some sort of presentiment, a 'last drink' or something else just as final._

_Didn't stop me drinking it however. Lots of it._

_I don't think I ever remembered laughing so hard in all my life. Whether it was the saké or the company, who knew. Maybe it was both. Maybe it was the crisp mountain air that made me feel so awake and alive. Maybe it was the impending battle that loomed ever nearer with every step we took towards Kawanakajima which forced us to enjoy it more than usual._

"_And then...then," Yamagata was almost hyperventilating from the laughter, the man sitting next to him slapping him on the back, his face bright red, "the magistrate said...oh, he said 'that's no lady, that's my wife!'"_

_Saké sprayed over the room as those who had been drinking spat it out and began roaring and slapping the table, eyes scrunched shut, choking on their own laughter. I saw the door open out of the corner of my eye and held my breath, waiting to see who it was. But it was only the owner's son, slipping in quietly to take away the empty tokkuri __(1)__ and replace them with full ones._

"_Arigatou!" I cried out, startling him; he'd obviously pegged me too drunk to notice his intrusion, "Have one for yourself, go on!"_

_He bowed, twice, shyly and bit his lip when I offered him my sakazuki __(2)__. He took it, when I pushed it into his hands, and quickly tipped back his head and swallowed it in one. I gave a shout of enthusiasm, clapping once loudly and grinning at him like a maniac as he coughed roughly and handed it back. He smiled at me evasively before standing and leaving the room, steadying himself on the doorway on his way out._

"_The kid's too young to be drinking this stuff Yoshitsuna!" Yamagata said too loudly, annunciating each syllable clearly and precisely in the way only very drunk people do.  
"Ah, shut up Yamagata-kun," I said good naturedly, pouring myself a fresh cup and trying my hardest not to spill it, "never keep good saké to yourself, that's what I say!"  
"Yes, but if you keep giving it to every person who walks by the room," said Kantaro, sitting to my left, "then there won't be any left for us."  
"That's where you have misjudged me," I hiccoughed and snorted in laughter at the action, "you see, the more drunk they are, the more alcohol they'll bring!"_

_For some reason Yamagata thought that this was the funniest thing he had ever heard in his life. He fell backwards onto the floor and howled, slapping his hands against the tatami. I shook my head, looking up expectantly when the door slid open again, but it was only Kansuke-sama, a sly smile on his lined face._

"_Ah, enjoying the saké I see, fine gentlemen," he couldn't help but break into a grin as he walked across the room towards our table; a space was hastily formed and he sat with us, accepting a brim full sakazuki and emptying it promptly._

_We let out a cry and followed his example. We were happy for once, happy because we could find something to lose ourselves in. I smiled at Yamagata's prone form, still sprawled on his back on the floor, chest rising and falling in sleep. I shook my head, smile fading slightly as I looked towards the closed door._

_He hadn't come._

"_Hey, Nagato," I said to the man opposite me._

_Nagato looked wildly round, blinking and spilling his drink into his lap. It made me think twice about asking him for this favour. Then I realised we were all as pissed out of our faces as each other so it didn't matter who I asked. I shrugged and waved my hand in his face to get his attention._

"_Nagato," he blinked and then grinned at me, "hey, make sure Yamagata is okay, alright? He doesn't drink often."  
"Ah, don't underestimate this one," Nagato said, smirking, "when he wakes up I think he'll go all night!"  
"That's what I'm afraid of," I sighed, snagging another sakazuki and a full tokkuri, "just don't let him do anything stupid, ne?"  
"Why?" Nagato finally cottoned on, "Where are you going?"_

_I stalled, swallowing and wondered what to say. _

"_Good saké is for sharing Nagato," Kansuke-sama said, smiling knowingly at me; I shivered, laughed nervously and then fled the room as fast as my drunken state would allow me._

_The night air was cool and the stars were bright, doused slightly by the full moon. I breathed in deeply, letting it sober me a little, trying to focus on standing upright without swaying. I managed it, but couldn't keep it up for too long. Using the wooden rail on the walkway to steady myself I made my way towards the sleeping quarters. He said that he would drink with us tonight but, as usual, he had hidden himself away instead. Not tonight, I decided determinedly._

_I guessed that he had holed himself up in his room, that's where I'd seen him last and, if he followed the same behaviour he'd shown at all of our other stops, he would still be there now. I smiled wryly when I rounded the corner and spied the light through the wall of his quarters. I tried to sneak over, thinking I could surprise him, but gave up when I remembered that he would know I was there even if I was trying to do this sober. I opened the door quietly and looked in. He looked at me and I looked back. He was sitting seiza in the centre of the small room, his white yukata glowing softly in the light of two small candles, futon set out behind him neatly, ready for use. He held a brush in his right hand, dipped in the ink pot by his right knee. I looked down to the paper scroll in front of him; he was writing something but I couldn't focus on it. I looked back up into his violet eyes. His red hair was loose. I stared._

"_You're drunk," were the first words to come out of his mouth._

_It wasn't an accusation, just a simple statement. When we had first met I would probably have started a fight over this 'simple statement', but over the past three weeks I'd managed to figure out some of his personality quirks. So I simply shrugged, smirking._

"_So is everyone else," I said back, entering the room without waiting for his permission, pulling the door shut behind me, "why aren't you?"_

_He sighed, placing his brush and ink slate onto a large saucer and moving the scroll out of the way to dry. Once he was done he turned back to me, looking at me questioningly. I sat down as gracefully as I could, in other words not very, and placed the tokkuri down between us, then his cup, then my cup. He looked from me, to them, to me. I gave him a look._

"_It's not that hard to figure out, genius," I said sarcastically.  
"I gather that you are trying to get me intoxicated," he said.  
"Wow you really are smart," I smirked, waving my hand at him, "you pour, I'd just spill it."_

_He hesitated for another moment, as if deciding whether it would be more hassle to force me to leave than to just drink with me until I went unconscious and then dump me outside in the garden. Whatever the reason, he picked up the tokkuri and poured until the cups were nearly spilling over the brim. I grinned and grabbed my own, managing, somehow, not to spill a drop. He picked his up slowly, elegantly and I waited until he was ready until I shouted._

"_Kampai!" and downed it in one, feeling the room swim with the sudden movement.  
"Kampai," he said calmly, mirroring my actions._

_I must admit I had expected a little more resistance. He was giving in far too easily, it was...strange. He didn't put his cup down and say that he'd had a drink so I could leave now like I'd expected him to. Instead he cradled it in both hands, eyes closed, and breathed in deeply. I knew I was definitely staring now. Then he opened his eyes and smiled at me._

"_Thank you for sharing this with me Yoshitsuna-san," he said genuinely, "this is very good saké."  
"Yes," I said back stupidly, holding out my cup as he lifted the jug to pour himself another; he filled it steadily, even as my hand wavered._

_We drank in silence until I started to feel a little uneasy. I had simply wanted to make him have a drink with me and now that I'd accomplished that I wasn't sure what to do next. He was so goddamned calm! Why couldn't he just get drunk like any other normal person? Ah hell, I thought, I suppose I'd better just ask._

"_Why don't you drink with us?"_

_He looked up slowly, perhaps the first signs of the alcohol taking effect, and looked at me. I could practically see his mind ticking away._

"_You think that I dislike you and your comrades," he concluded; trust him to jump to heart of the matter.  
"Do you?" I asked seriously, ruining the effect by slurring.  
"No," he said back, "I'm just not what you'd call...very sociable."  
"You don't say," I said dryly, "I've met hermits more sociable than you."  
"You've never even met a hermit," he said back with a scrutinising stare, "have you."  
"No," I admitted forcefully, "but if I did it'd probably be easier to get them to have a drink than it is to get you to."_

_He shook his head and smiled again. I watched him._

"_You should do that more often," I said gruffly.  
"Excuse me?" he asked, smile disappearing as he looked back up.  
"Smile," I said simply, smiling back as I swung my cup towards his to clink them together, "kampai!"_

_Crack. The saké ran over my hand and onto the floor. I stared at the two broken cups, confused. How the hell had I done that?_

"_Honestly Takemata-san, you don't know your own strength sometimes," Fujimiya sighed, eyeing the broken sakazuki in his hand.  
"Huh?" I said eloquently, "Hey, uh, it was an accident!"  
"Well, I suppose I should probably get some sleep anyway," he shrugged, taking my broken cup and picking up the pieces from the floor.  
"What? No, that's a ridiculous idea!" I interjected, "Just because we don't have cups doesn't mean we can't still drink!"_

_I lifted the bottle and took a hurried swig to demonstrate. He eyed me with distaste._

"_Takemata-san I am not drinking saké from the tokkuri," he said seriously, as if it were plainly obvious that doing so would get you sent straight to hell.  
"Why the hell not?" I argued back.  
"Because I'm not," he said tersely; it was then, only then, that I realised that I'd annoyed him, maybe even made him angry._

_Amazing. I'd made him smile and made him angry in the space of one drinking session. I hadn't managed to get such a varied list of reactions out of Fujimiya since we'd met. His eyes sparkled in the candlelight._

"_Oh, to common for you is it?" I said back with a snort.  
"Don't be unreasonable," he said tightly.  
"I'm not the one being unreasonable," I said back, eyes narrowed, "you're the one refusing to drink with me just because we don't have any cups."  
"I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone else," he said coldly, fingers curled into the fabric of his yukata.  
"I didn't ask you to explain why," I said in frustration, the aggravation ruining my pleasant buzz, "I just want you to have a drink with me..."  
"I already have had a drink with you," he said.  
"I knew it! I knew you would say that at some point!" I said, pointing my finger at him.  
"What are you talking about?" he growled.  
"Never mind that," I shook my head and looked at him purposefully, pushing up onto my knees and leaning forwards into his personal space to push the tokkuri into his face, "drink."  
"No," he said forcefully, not making any move to push me away but glaring at me all the same.  
"Just drink from the bottle," I said, shaking the bottle for emphasis.  
"I said no," and he sounded like he meant it._

_I stared at him and he stared at me. In a moment of mad, drunken clarity, I made up my mind._

"_Fine," I said casually._

_I put the bottle to my lips and took a deep swig, ignoring his sound of disgust at my lack of manners or whatever he thought was so very wrong about it. I didn't swallow it. Then I put the bottle down. Then I grabbed a fistful of his yukata and jerked him forwards, slamming his shocked mouth against my own, forcing his lips open with my tongue. I transferred the saké into his mouth and waited until he swallowed so that he couldn't spit it back out. My tongue slid against his. There was a slight sound when our lips separated. When I pulled back I noticed his eyes were closed, his mouth slightly open._

_Then I sat back on my heels and looked at him. It was that moment I realised just how beautiful he was._

_The next thing I knew I had him on the floor, covering his body, hands scrambling hurriedly at his loose yukata, ignoring the muffled, half formed protests he let loose between gasps. When I closed my hand around his cloth covered erection his mouth opened in a silent groan and his head fell back, exposing his neck. He had one hand around my neck, supporting himself, the other propping him up from beneath. He was shaking. I took the opportunity to put my tongue into his mouth and didn't stop kissing him until I ran out of air. He looked otherworldly, preternatural, as he moved against me in the candlelight, biting his lip to keep quiet as I continued to manipulate him. Red hair spilling over the floor and his pale shoulders._

"_We shouldn't..." I started suddenly, my brain catching up with the drink addled thought that this hadn't possibly been the best idea, remembering a rather large detail about the man beneath me, "you're married..."  
"Don't you dare," he gasped out, bringing his other arm up to loop around my neck, pulling me to him, "want you. Please."_

_I wanted him too. I realised that I had wanted him for a long time. It was rough and fast, he held onto me and cried out into my shoulder as we finished together. We lay there, panting, his fingers slowly loosening their death grip on my hair._

"_Oh god," I said, at that moment unable to fully process my actions or my motives, "oh god."_

_He stroked my hair gently but I found it impossible to calm down. I pushed up onto my elbows, leaning over his prone form, looking at his relaxed features, eyes merely violet slits, hair spread out around him like a bloody mess. As I continued to look down at him, finding it harder to breathe as time slowly ticked past, his expression changed from one of contentment to confusion and finally to resignation. The hand in my hair stopped its soothing ministrations._

"_You're leaving," he surmised softly.  
"I..." what could I say to that? Sorry I jumped you a moment of drunken lust? Can you forgive me and we can go back to being friends now? Was that what I really wanted?  
"I would rather you didn't make up some excuse or other," he said, not in the harsh tone I'd expected; instead it sounded lost, a little broken, and I felt a guilty stab in my chest.  
"Ranmaru," I said, shaking my head, feeling the need for courage, wishing I had more sake to make this easier.  
"Please," he said, closing his eyes, "don't."  
"No!" I said with as much authority as I could; at that moment the candle decided to go out, leaving us in darkness, robbing me of his reaction to what I was about to say, "You don't understand. Maybe you never will. I don't think we're the same, you and I, although I have to admit that you are still a complete enigma to me and I'm sure you'll never feel the need to explain yourself. But me, I'm easy to understand and you're not stupid so don't pretend like I'm complicated or anything. I like you, a lot. I didn't realise it at first but, now that I do, I'm not...I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to leave. This, even if I have to get drunk to admit it, is what I've been wanting ever since I befriended you. Even if you do regret it, then it'll be short lived, we only have another week together anyway."_

_The silence that followed was broken only by the rustling of the wind in the trees and my own harsh breathing. I was suddenly scared, for no reason other than the sake had left me emotionally exposed and I never did handle rejection well. There was also still the sick feeling of doing something criminal, something wrong and against nature, even if I promised myself I would never hate myself for it. It spread out, like a wave of nausea, and I began to feel weak under its oppressive weight. I was about to admit defeat, stand up, get dressed and walk back to the party, try my best to pretend none of this had ever happened. That was until I felt a hand on the back of my neck, tugging impatiently until I was lowered down into the darkness. His lips found mine before I found his, and I could feel the smile there. I blinked in surprise, amazed that my speech had convinced him, and then grinned before sinking into the kiss, into the feeling of his arms closing around me._

"Don't you tell me to be fucking quiet you unemotional, hypocritical fuck!" Schuldich yelled suddenly, "He killed Nagi! I saw him, he killed him, he killed him! I'll fucking kill you Fujimiya!"  
"Ran," I breathed out in disbelief, jolted back to the present by Schuldich's wild claim, "is that true?"

The thought of that man, that kind, gentle man that I fell foolishly in love with all those years ago, could kill a small child in cold blood actually struck me as unbelievable for a whole thirty seconds. That was of course until I remembered his terrible betrayal and began to wonder if my sheer sentimentality was the only thing that was forcing me to trust him.

I turned in my seat and saw that Yamagata's accusing eyes were fixed on me, and for a blinding moment I thought he knew, knew all of my secrets. Then the screech of tires interrupted my thoughts, leaving me hollow and sick to my stomach. I closed my eyes and, for the millionth time in my long, agonising existence, wished things could have been simple.

(1) Sake jug

(2) White sake cup


	52. Hard Decisions

**Chapter 50**

**Hard Decisions**

Even though we avoided the oncoming cars, didn't mean that we ended the right way up. The tires screamed against the still rain slick ground, the van rocking violently to the right, then tipping in that stomach churning way as it veered to the other side, the wheels leaving the road and everything going amazingly still until we hit the ground. The sound made my ears ring, or maybe it was the impact. My already battered body didn't take well to the impact at all; I felt something snapping, but couldn't tell what, and tasted blood in my mouth. I heard someone yelling, someone screaming in pain, and the van skidded for another few feet before coming to rest. Everything became deadly still, ringing, smoky, then I saw lights, I heard feet, my head was swimming, swimming, I felt nauseous.

"Shit," I croaked out, managing to feel for my seatbelt and undo it, "Yamagata?"

I fell out of my chair as I released the seatbelt, dropping the short distance to the side of the van. I turned and found myself face to face with Ran, his eyes dazed as he looked at me and shook his head.

"Fuck me," he said back faintly, "you really are bad luck Yoshitsuna."  
"Huh," I coughed out, smiling despite myself, "nice time to bring that back up."

Old joke, which he'd always used to excuse himself from any mistakes he'd made by saying it was because he'd had me with him at the time. Fucking nostalgia, I thought as he smiled at me faintly.

"Hey! Hey is everyone alright in there?" voices shouted from outside.  
"Schuldich? Farfarello?" Crawford was yelling from the front seat.  
"We're alright," Farfarello said back calmly; he had disengaged from his seat and was helping a very ill looking Schuldich from his seat.  
"Yoshitsuna!" I looked up to find Yamagata looking at me with worried eyes as he pulled himself over the wreckage, "Help me with Kudo!"

That was when the passenger door at the side of the van, which was now facing skywards, was jerked harshly open. It took a few goes, but then an all too familiar face was staring down at us in utter disbelief.

"It's you," Omi breathed, blinking his eyes and staring for a few more moments before his head disappeared and he was shouting to someone, "Over here! We need help, now!"  
"Omi," I heard Kudo whisper out.

That was when I noticed that it was hard to stay awake. That was when I placed my hand against my shirt and wondered why it was wet. I frowned, noticing Ran's eyes widen as he looked down at my chest. I followed his gaze and saw the red against my fingers, against the white of my shirt, saw the jagged piece of metal.

"Oh," I said stupidly, before passing out.

* * *

"Shit, no!" I grabbed hold of Yoshitsuna as he slumped forwards into a faint, "Wake up, hey!"

I'm not going to get you back just to lose you! I thought savagely. I looked up to find Yamagata glaring at me as he helped the men who had appeared at the open door with unloading those who couldn't extract themselves from the wreckage. I quickly unclipped my belt and hoisted Yoshitsuna up towards the exit, into the arms of a waiting man in black body armour. Who the hell was I handing him to? Fuck knows, but if Weiss were calling them friends than I guess I had no choice but to trust them too.

Of course it ended up just me and Yamagata in the truck, struggling to extricate ourselves. Yamagata pushed me out of the way harshly, glaring at me as I stumbled.

"Just wait," he said, voice full of emotion, "just wait and you'll get what's coming to you, murderer."

Huh, like he was one to talk, I thought as I watched him hoist himself up and out of the van. Like he knew anything about me, anything at all. I looked towards the floor of the van which had now become a mess of wrecked metal and glass. Nothing I couldn't handle however. Another man appeared at the open door and reached down with his hand.

"Give me your hand," he said, his voice muffled by his helmet, "I'll pull you up."  
"I'll be fine," I said darkly as I quickly ripped away the metal obstructing my way as if it were mere dry twigs.

I could sense his surprise. Perhaps even more so as I straightened out my hand, muttered a few seals under my breath and then punctured the floor of the van as if it were nothing but tissue paper, taking hold of it and tearing it away to reveal the storage compartment underneath.

"But perhaps you could take this for me," I said, handing him the body which I had stashed in the compartment and noting his complete confusion, "and yes he's dead, but don't let that fool you."

* * *

When I woke up, seeing a white, clean, sterile room wasn't exactly what I'd planned on seeing. In fact I hadn't planned on seeing anything at all. In all honesty, since I bound myself to this body and declared this a sort of foolishly heroic last battle, I'd been much more fearful of death than I had when still under the weight of the curse of reincarnation. I could die now, and so could Yamagata. So when I'd seen the blood, when the pain had finally registered though the haze of shock and everything had gone black, I thought that it was quite literally that. Death.

Not quite, it seemed. I looked to my right and found a door on the far wall with a glass panel inlaid inside. I was pretty sure it wasn't a good idea to get up and start walking around but, considering I was pretty vulnerable at the moment and had no idea where I was, well, I was all for finding out if I was in a safe place and then trying to find out where everyone else was.

"You shouldn't be up!" was the first thing I heard as soon as I stepped out of the room.

Thankfully I had killed two birds with one stone as it was Yamagata who had said it, bouncing up from a seat in the small corridor which the door led to. He stared at me in concern, practically herding me back into the room and forcing me to lay down on the bed. He then reinserted the drip which I had slid out of my arm and looked at me sternly. I stared back, not entirely sure if the accusation in his eyes was all to do with getting out of bed before I was well. I swallowed and avoided his stare.

"Where are we?" I asked.  
"You're avoiding my questions and I haven't even asked them yet," came his dry reply, "that's impressive."  
"Just answer my question," I said back tightly, looking back at him.  
"Fine," he said, sitting on the bed and crossing his arms, "apparently the people we almost crashed into used to be the people who Weiss once worked for. They're friends as far as I can tell. They've fixed us up as best they can but it looks like they have problems of their own and probably want shot of us as soon as they can. Either that or they'll want to use us to their advantage."  
"Great," I groaned out, closing my eyes; why did everything always change so quickly around here? "well, at least I'm not dead I guess."  
"Yeah," Yamagata actually sounded relieved about that too at least, though his countenance was still foreboding when I opened my eyes.

I was encouraged enough by the slight lack of gravity in his tone to ask what I did next. That plus the fact that I never did posses tact, in any one of my reincarnations.

"Where's Ran?" it was meant to be innocent, but Yamagata's eyes sharpened at the mere mention of his name.  
"Around," he said vaguely, "I think that he's upstairs with Omi and Ken and some woman called Manx."  
"I think I can guess what that conversation is about," I said tersely, "trying to get Abyssinian back into his body?"  
"Bingo," he said darkly, "and if I were you I wouldn't interfere."  
"Of course," I said back acidly, "why would I?"  
"Which is exactly what I was going to ask you," he said back cryptically, causing me to stall and lose track of what exactly we were talking about, "why would you? Hmm? Why _would_ you?"

Oh, I thought, _Oh_.

"That's nothing to do with you," I said back tonelessly, "and I don't think this is the time or place to be talking about it, if we ever do."  
"You slept with him?" he asked, all emotion gone from his voice.  
"That's nothing to do with you," I said back tightly, avoiding his stare.  
"And here I always thought that your attachment to him was odd," he mused, his tone insultingly dismissive as he stood from the bed and headed towards the door, "Oh and just so you know, I wouldn't get too attached to him being around. It doesn't seem like he wants to stay and he's more than happy to give the body back. Seems he prefers being dead to sticking around any of us longer than he has to."

I couldn't reply. I couldn't talk. He closed the door and I felt it as physical thing against my body, as if he'd hit me, as if he'd choked the breath out of me. I just lay there, staring at the door. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. That was when the tear slid down my cheek and was absorbed into the pillow as if it had never been there at all. The hollowness started in my chest, seeping into my limbs as I tried to make myself move, _tried_ so hard. It wasn't true, none of this, it was all a lie! I was so sick fed up of being lied to! Of being used!

"Liar," I croaked out, finally finding my voice, my face turning into an angry scowl, "Liar!"

I ignored the pain as I pulled the drip from my arm once more and left the room. I had no idea where I was going, the only direction I had was 'upstairs', but in the state I was in, nothing would have stopped me from me from finding him before he left me again.

Before he left, again.

I found the first set of stairs that led up the way and took them. The people in the facility seemed to keep pretty much to themselves, though some did give me odd looks. Other than that I managed to stay clear of anyone who looked like they were armed and other than that I stayed pretty much unquestioned. Downstairs had been all white walls and laminate floors, like a medical facility, but one floor up was much more like an office building, with dark grey carpets, offices with glass walls, some walled off with keypads at the entrances, high tech display units, a _lot_ more guys with guns than there was downstairs and a feeling of being completely out of place. Considering I was wearing a white hospital shirt and trousers it wasn't hard to figure out exactly why I felt out of place though.

So I picked the first room that I could duck into and get my bearings. I mean I knew Yamagata had said they were friends and could be trusted (to a certain degree) but I never trusted someone I'd never met and I'd had enough tricks played on me over the years to deeply ingrain the lesson of never letting your guard down in an unfamiliar place. Add this to the fact that I was mad as hell and also scared shitless at the thought of losing him again and, well, you'll understand how I was feeling. Which was why it was such a relief when, as I sneaked through the small room I had found myself in and exited through a door on the opposite wall, I came face to face with everyone I had been looking for. There was Ran, still there, good, great, thank god. It was perhaps sad that I could tell it was still him just from the way he looked at me, but I was very, very sure it was still him. Then there was Omi, sitting in a chair with his hands in his lap, looking a little sick and shocked. Which is just how Crawford looked as he leaned against the far wall, trying to hide his emotions as he kept his hand on Schuldich's shoulder to stop him from leaving his seat. Farferello stood stoically at Schuldich's other side, his mouth set in a firm line. Kudo was nowhere to be seen, which led me to think that he was in a hospital bed somewhere like I had been. There was also a new face, a tall, curvaceous redheaded woman who was eyeing me suspiciously as she sat behind the only desk in the room.

I began to feel like there was something very wrong going on in this room, something that had happened just before I entered. Just then Yamagata entered from a door on the other side of the room and, when he saw me, was initially shocked. Then he was angry. Well screw that, I thought back viciously.

"What the hell are you doing here?" asked said seriously.  
"Don't order me around," I said back spitefully, "what the hell is going on here?"

No-one spoke. I looked to Ran who, in return, only rolled his eyes at the silence and explained.

"I've just told them my plan," he said with the usual aggravatingly superior drawl he'd always used when he thought that no-one understood what he was talking about, "and this is what happened. They all just stared at me."  
"It's not a very good plan," Crawford said through gritted teeth, "that's why."  
"There is nothing wrong with my plan," Ran said back, narrowing his eyes, "I thought you of all people would be grateful I'd bothered to have enough foresight to save your team members body at all."

Wait, wait, wait, I thought in confusion.

"What the hell are you even talking about?" I asked, taking a seat on a nearby table, watching Schuldich as he stared at the ground in silence; his eye had been cleaned and bandaged along with the rest of his wounds.  
"The young boy..." Ran said tonelessly, although I could hear the sadness in his voice.  
"Nagi," Schuldich said, not raising his head.  
"Right," Ran said, nodding, "Nagi. After I killed him I took his body and hid it."  
"Why?" I asked at the same time as Omi asked "Where?"  
"Because I can bring him back," Ran said soberly to me, turning to Omi and saying, "in the compartment under the floor of the van we used to escape."  
"Did you bring him with us?" I asked breathlessly.  
"Of course I did!" Ran said admonishingly, "Only now they won't let me go ahead with my plan!"

What the hell could be stopping them? I thought dumbly. Deep down however, I was simply absurdly happy that Ran hadn't killed that little boy for no reason.

"Why did you?" Schuldich spoke up again, his voice rather distorted, as if he wasn't sure how to use it.  
"Why did I what?" asked Ran irritably.  
"Kill him in the first place?" Schuldich hissed out, fixing his one good eye on Ran's forbidding countenance.  
"So that my loyalty wouldn't be disputed until the final moment," he said, "when I could make my counter-strike. Not that it worked in the end. Believe me, I would never have killed him if I hadn't had a way to undo it."  
"Which is..?" I prompted.  
"Using the heigou kokugen no jutsu," Ran said easily, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, "so I can put everything right."  
"Are you fucking nuts?" was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

He simply rolled his eyes again and sighed.

"Great," he said sarcastically, "now you have a problem with it too."  
"Of course I do!" I shouted, "no one can control that kind of magic! Hell Uesugi only just managed to do it himself and he's beyond powerful!"  
"And I'm not?" he said back, "Did you miss the part where he infused most of his powers with my body? I am more than capable of this."  
"And what happens to Ran," Omi asked, "our Ran that is."  
"I said I'd put everything right," Ran said tightly, "and I am not fond of repeating myself. Everyone will end up right where they are supposed to be."

Right where they are supposed to be. The words rang hollowly in my ears and I felt sick again. This time I found I couldn't get angry to compensate for the sickening emptiness spreading inside of me. _I can't find you again just to lose you_, yet that decision didn't seem to be up to me. I hugged my right arm around my waist and looked at the floor, thinking that for once I perhaps knew how Schuldich felt.

"Well," the redhead finally spoke, "as I have no fricking idea what is going on here, I guess I'm going to follow your lead Omi. As you know we'll look after Ken and Yoji for as long as they need but, well, as far as our specialists are saying it doesn't look good for him. His neural response it zilch and his brain activity is becoming weaker and weaker by the minute. He doesn't have long."  
"Which is why we need to act now," Ran said decisively.  
"You're sure you can do this?" Crawford asked seriously.  
"Yes," Ran said back, holding his gaze until Crawford finally nodded and looked away, his emotion unreadable; he hadn't removed his hand from Schuldich's shoulder since I'd entered the room.

Was it bad that it frightened me that everyone in the room seemed to have come to a decision? I panicked, trying to swallow it down and failing.

"What about you?" it came out as nothing but a hoarse whisper, which half of the room didn't seem to understand.

Ran did. Ran understood. That' why he looked at me like that, with those pale violet eyes of his and his sadness and his empathy and...and that's why I couldn't stand to look at him anymore. That's why I got up from the table, no matter how tired I suddenly felt, or how much it was becoming painful to stand as the painkillers that had been put into my system through the drip began to wear off. I left quickly and silently and stumbled my way back to the room I had run out of so angrily only moments before. I didn't make it to the bed, simply collapsing onto the floor instead and curling up into as tight a ball as my injured chest would allow. It was only a few moments before Yamagata rushed in, admonishing me for being so foolish and leaving my bed at all, pretending like nothing had happened because that was his way of coping with all of this hell. I allowed him to help me back into the bed, where he once more reinserted my drip and I once more stared at the door after he had left, feeling empty and sick and lifeless.

Only this time I had nothing to rebel against, nothing to pull my emotions from the limbo they had fallen into.

He's leaving, was the only thought running round and round in my head, he's leaving me again. Why is fate so cruel? Why ever let me see him again if he's only going to leave me? Why dangle the thought of happiness before my face only to remove it so mockingly? I want to die. When will this all be over? My god, please, I've lived so long to fulfil another's wishes, I've lived so long not even for myself, please, please don't taunt me with this mockery of feeling anything but duty. Please don't mock me with this travesty of love. Please just let me die.

**An:** I'm mean, poor Yoshitsuna for ending up one of my characters. I'm sorry this took so long! Really, really sorry! I hope you like it and yes, it ias getting near the end now, perhaps only another five or so chapters to go (maybe a little more)! And guess who's back next chapter!


	53. A Place for Everything

**Chapter 53**

**A Place for Everything, and Everything in it's...**

I'd never thought it would really come to this. Fool that I am, I'd always held onto that boundless optimism, knowing beyond practicality that someone would come for us. Everything would be alright in the end.

But now, here, in this place, this _place_. The space in between life and death. A never ending void like limbo. I could no longer see, or feel. It was as if I was floating, suspended, eyes closed. All I could hear were sounds, vague, muffled, as if my ears were filled with foam.

I'd been here so long now, I wasn't even sure what I was anymore. Was I Ken? Was I Ran? What was the difference between the two? Where was the boundary? The resistance was becoming weaker and weaker, the two entities inside of me barely pushing against each other anymore. What would happen when they gave up? What would that mean?

To be one, to be whole again. It was too much, not too little, there was too much inside of me, too many people in my head. Would it be so very bad, if we were to merge together? I don't think I would mind at all.

Huh, maybe Ran would mind. I tried to smile but wasn't sure if it worked. Did I even have a mouth anymore?

No.

I don't think I do.

I.

_I_.

Who is _I_?

* * *

I saw him walking down the corridor and, despite the multitude of different places he could have been going, I _knew_ what his destination was without having to think twice. I watched him, savouring the fact that he didn't know I was doing it, savouring the power I had over him, little that it was.

"You go near him," I almost laughed as he jumped, spinning around to glare at me, "and I'll fucking kill you Fujimiya."  
"Well, that seems highly imprudent," he said back tonelessly, "considering the circumstances."  
"Don't think for a second that would stop me," I said, feeling for one beautiful moment that I could kill him and have no remorse.  
"I wouldn't," he said, surprising me slightly, "if I didn't know you better."  
"Yeah, well maybe you need to take a closer look," I said, trying to sound as dangerous as I could.

He watched me warily for a moment, as if he might just continue to defy me.

"He doesn't want to see you," I lied, "you'll only make it worse for him. Why don't you just leave quietly as you were planning to do and save him any more of the suffering you've already put him through."

That got a reaction. He blanched visibly before he managed to put his blank mask into place. Yes, I thought, any mention of the betrayal you'll never be able to atone for, the purgatory you damned him to, that would be enough, I thought. He looked towards the door to Yoshitsuna's room, opened his mouth and then closed it. He hesitated, looking to me with what would probably pas for an imploring look on Fujimiya Ranmaru.

"Tell him I...I..." he swallowed tightly, looking away and shaking his head, "no, never mind. You won't tell him anyway, no matter what I say."  
"How very astute of you," I said flippantly, feeling a surge of victory seeing his broken look.

Then he turned on his heel and walked back the way he had come, leaving me with a sour taste in my mouth. Fucking bastard. I don't need to feel sorry for you, not after everything you've done! I know what's best for Yoshitsuna, and he'll thank me one day. We don't need you, we never did.

* * *

"Seriously," Schuldich's drawl didn't have the force behind it that it usually did, "how much longer are you going to lie there pretending to be ill?"

In all honesty the statement was much more wearing simply because I was desperate to get out of this fucking hospital bed. My leg was healing nicely and, despite the damage done to the muscles and the blood loss, I would probably be okay to walk on a crutch. The branch thankfully hadn't been that thick and had passed through without too much damage. Still, however, he was here to rub my face in it.

"Believe me I'd be out of here if I could," I said back testily, glaring at the nurse as she checked my vitals and my bandage.

He didn't reply and I decided that I'd better look at him. I hid my reaction behind a neutral expression. He looked awful, and I don't mean long-night-awful I mean really-fucking-terrible. Thankfully his eye was cleaned and bandaged, hair tied back so it didn't look such a mess of blood and dirt as it had before, he'd even procured some clean clothes. Still, it wasn't his appearance that made him look like he'd died and been brought back, it was his face. He looked drawn, pale and lifeless. The pain of my wound and the horror of the things I'd witnessed had kind of taken precedence over thoughts concerning anyone else's situation, but now, seeing him like that...

"I'm sorry," I said, looking away towards the wall, "about Nagi."  
"It's...that's..." his hesitation made me take notice more than his tone of voice; I looked up at him in confusion and the nurse coughed politely and left.

She shut the door behind her, leaving an awkward silence. Schuldich didn't say anything else, just sat in the seat beside my bed and looked at his hands. It was then that I realised just how normal it seemed that he was here at all, visiting me, and that freaked me out a little. Working together and empathy was one thing, enjoying someone's company was entirely another.

"Nagi's going to be fine," he sounded confused even as he said it, "apparently."  
"What?" I asked in confusion, "But...what the hell are you talking about?"  
"Fujimiya, he's got a plan," he shrugged, taking a long, deep breath in through his nose and letting it out slowly, "he's going to put everything right."  
"You mean," I said, feeling a little sick at the reminder of Uesugi's resurrection ritual, "he's going to bring him back to life?"  
"You betcha," Schuldich said, with little feeling behind it, "you'll get your team members back, and we'll get ours."

I couldn't help but sigh in relief to that. I'd been pushing it all down, keeping my emotions at bay while I focused on being calm, on staying alert and being dependable and reliable. But now, in the face of this small victory, on _accomplishing_ something, it was enough to warrant at least a little reprieve.

"I don't want to know how he's doing this, do I," I wasn't a question, but Schuldich slumped back in his chair and answered me anyway.  
"No," he said with a small, forced smile.  
"Yeah, I thought not," I said back, feeling a hell of a lot better than I should at seeing some emotion on his face, "so, uh..."

He looked over at me as I hesitated, having to turn his head to watch me with his eye. I tried not to think about it and continued.

"Any more information about your, you know," I shifted, "father?"  
"...No," he said in the same tone as he'd been using for everything else, "not that we've had any time to look into it. Your contacts here said, that red haired woman, she and Crawford talked, I guess their taking it as some sort of lead."  
"Best that we've got," I shrugged, "might give us some sort of game plan. Whatever your father was dealing with will be what this Uesugi wants."  
"I hope so," he said, sighing heavily, "because I don't really want to think about the alternative."  
"What do you mean?" I frowned.

He looked down at his hands and took a deep breath. His eye was intense when he fixed me with another stare.

"He already has everything he wants," Schuldich said, "and now he's going to war."

* * *

"So how does this work?"

I knew I sounded like a broken record but there was so much I didn't understand and it was so very, very risky that I couldn't help it.

"I'm not going to explain it again," Fujimiya growled out, unusually tense.

Although I guess I couldn't really blame him, he'd had a pretty rough time of it. Brought back from the dead by his mortal enemy only to end up banishing himself back to that same fate voluntarily, all to save two people he'd never even met; and leaving his friends behind to fight alone. I swallowed and nodded, allowing myself to try and put my faith in him, allow myself to put Ran and Ken's fates in someone else's hands. It wasn't easy, let me tell you. I stared at the seemingly lifeless body of one of my closest friends, laid out as if already dead. This wasn't a plan, that was all that kept running around in my head, this _wasn't_ a plan this was a best guess solution. Crawford and Manx were talking at the other side of the room, standing next to the corpse of the Schwartz teammate, Nagi. I swallowed again, trying to clear the itching in my throat. I was so absorbed that I didn't even hear the door open.

"Omi," I looked up in surprise, "you look shocked kid."  
"Yoji-kun!" I couldn't help it, I ran to him.  
"Whoa, steady," he said with a grimace as I hugged him tightly, "still a little sore here."  
"Sorry," I said letting go slowly, noticing that he had a single crutch under one arm and that Schuldich was standing behind him, "come in, we're getting ready."

I wasn't too absorbed, however, to notice that Crawford cut his conversation short as soon as he noticed Schuldich and was at his side in an instant. The worrying thing was that Schuldich didn't really seem to react, just let Crawford lead him by the arm over to where Crawford had 'set up camp'. I noticed that Farfarello was also there, almost entirely out of sight in the corner. He was staring intently at Nagi, as if he could see something no one else could. I looked away, back to Fujimya who was setting some things out on a table, placing them delicately and precisely.

"Are you sure about this?" Yoji asked me as we approached the assassin, "I mean is this the sort of stuff we want to be messing with?"  
"This might sound bad," I said wearily, "but right now, I don't care what it takes."

I turned round to look him square in the eyes. He looked down at me with sad understanding.

"I want them back," I said, "and I don't care how we do it."

I saw Yoji's eyes flick to Fujimiya, looking away quickly; he looked guilty. I nodded my head, breathing in deeply and letting it out. I knew, I knew what it meant, I knew that I was asking a lot by asking him to accept this.

That for our friends to survive, someone else had to die. Not that he was meant to be here, he'd stolen Ran's body, but...well, I didn't like it any more than Yoji did.

"Where are the others?" Yoji asked, "Yamagata and Yoshitsuna?"  
"They..." I sighed, speaking in a hushed tone "they aren't going to be present. I don't really understand it all myself but, from what I can figure out there's some underlying tension. I don't think Yoshitsuna is happy about him leaving."

I saw Fujimiya's movements falter out the corner of my eye. He could obviously hear me and I felt another stab of guilt. I wouldn't change my mind, I wouldn't cast doubt on this, I wouldn't, I would do anything to get them back. It wasn't doubt I was feeling, it was anger, sheer anger for this Uesugi who could cause us to have to make this decision in the first place.

"We should begin as soon as possible," Fujimya said, interrupting my thoughts.

Everyone was focused on him instantly. He just looked back, tired but determined.

"I'm ready," he said, using his usual arrogance to cover up the barely discernable fear underlying it, "I need you all to get out of the room."  
"What?" Crawford said harshly, "we're not going anywhere until..."  
"We need to be here to make sure..." I started.  
"You need all the help you can..." Yoji said.  
"Oh just shut up, all of you!" Fujimya said harshly, his calm facade breaking to reveal the scowl underneath, "no one needs to be here except me! You're all just distractions and I'm going to need all the concentration I can get, understand me? Get the fuck out, now."

No one had an answer for him. We just stared. I think we were even more surprised when Schuldich was the first to react.

"Alright," he said tonelessly, "do what you have to."

Fujimiya nodded to him in thanks as he slowly walked from the room, leaving a lingering look with his friend. Crawford, lips tight with anger and frustration, barked an order at Farferello and the two followed Schuldich out. I looked to Fujimiya and wasn't sure what to say, to do, shouldn't I do something? This man, he was sacrificing everything, I...

"Thank you," was all I could say, feeling a little useless as I turned and herded Yoji out of the open door, followed closely by Manx.  
"You might want to keep that door shut," he said to her as she was closing it, "no matter what happens."

She gave him a critical look, as if she wanted to say something, to argue, but ended instead with a tight nod and compliance. She locked the door securely behind us.

"There have been more reports of Uesugi from our operatives," she said to us once we were alone in the hall, "I'm leaving Greer with you to keep an eye on Fujimiya and this...procedure. I have to keep an eye on his movements. I'll let you know what's happening as soon as I know myself, alright?"  
"Thank you Manx," I said, meaning it; she smiled at me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder before she left.  
"Don't worry," Yoji said, his arm going round my shoulders from behind as he steadied himself against me, "this is going to work."  
"I wish I had your confidence," I said, feeling sick with myself that I was even thinking about this not ending well.  
"Hey, I've seen this guy fight, he's strong," Yoji said seriously, "if anyone can pull this off, it's him."

I lifted my hand up over my chest to hold onto his hand that lay draped over my shoulder, squeezing it tightly. He squeezed back.

"Please," I whispered, not even sure who to, "_please_."

I watched through the reinforced glass as Fujimiya stood looking at the bodies before him, breathing slowly. He ran a shaking hand through his hair and lifted his head up, looking to the light in the ceiling, closing his eyes. Then back down. He turned and picked up what I realised was now the broken end of his sword and an old, mouldy looking scroll. He let the scroll open with one finger, allowing the dusty parchment to unravel haphazardly over the floor as he dropped it. With the broken sword, with no hesitation, he cut deeply into his palm and allowed his blood to drip over the parchment at his feet.

Then I heard it, running feet and a voice shouting.

"You can't go in there!"  
"Ran!" I barely saw him move from the now open doorway at the end of the hallway to the glass covered door in front of us.

I stumbled back with Yoji as he slammed into the door, hands flat against it. I saw Greer draw his gun and point it at him, followed by another guard who had followed him in through the door at the halls entrance. Yoshitsuna didn't seem to pay them any attention. He frantically tried the door handle, finding it locked, letting out a cry of frustration as he slammed his hands against the glass and shouted again. I stared in shock, unsure what to do.

"Ranmanru! Don't you dare do this!" he slammed his hands against the glass again and I looked past him into the room, seeing Fujimiya staring at him.

I caught my breath.

"Kami, how can we ask him to do his?" I breathed out, hardly hearing Yoji's questioning reply.

I'd never seen him look so sad. Never, not our Ran. After his little sister's death he had never allowed himself to show emotion, I'd never had a chance to see him show sadness. He was always stoic, rigid, serious. But this...the look onf Fujimiya's face as he stared at the man banging defiantly on the glass bordered on broken. Slowly, as if in antithesis to Yoshitsuna's mania, he let the broken katana fall from his hand and walked towards the glass. Yoshitsuna didn't let up.

"I mean it Fujimiya, if you dare leave, I swear I'll find you and I'll haunt you forever, I swear, I _swear_..." his voice broke on the last word, swerving from angry frustration to sheer sorrow, wrenching into a sob.

I felt myself stifle a cry that I hadn't even realised had been building in my throat, my hand coming up to cover my mouth. Yoji pulled me closer but didn't say anything, instead turning to Greer as he holstered his weapon and moved in to restrain Yoshitsuna.

"Hey!" Greer turned to him in surprise, "leave him."  
"Manx told me nothing should hinder this..." Greer said with a frown.  
"Look, you know what's happening here," Yoji said angrily, "you know this is the last time he's gonna get to say goodbye."

Greer sighed harshly through his nose, looking as if he would ignore Yoji's request, but after a moments deliberation backed down, telling his colleague to back off. I looked back to Yoshitsuna and watched as Fujimiya reached the glass, his face open, nothing was hidden. I couldn't look away, even as he lifted his own hand, bloody and cut to place it against Yoshitsuna's, smearing the blood over the pale glass like a testament to his life, to prove he'd been alive, that he was there, that he was _there_.

"I still have to make you pay for all the things you've done to me," Yoshitsuna screamed, losing momentum as the anger seemed to bleed out of him, "damn you, all you've put me through, damn you! Don't you _dare_..!"

The blond man let his head drop forwards against the glass and after a moment Fujimiya mirrored the action. His mouth was moving but I couldn't hear him, trying to read his lips. I couldn't make it out, could only see that Yoshitsuna was crying but no sound escaped his lips either, silent tears. Then Fujimiya pushed back from the glass, repeating the silent words; Yoshitsuna was shaking his head.

"No, _no_," he kept saying, "_please_, don't..!"

Then Fujimiya mouthed something I couldn't mistake.

-I'm sorry- he said, and –I love you-

Then he placed his hands together and the force of the blast seemed to bleed through the wall and threw us all off our feet, sliding along the shiny floor in a heap of limbs.

* * *

I thought I could hear something.

No.

Guess not.

Maybe just...

...thought it was maybe me.

Who?

Me. Us. We...are you still there Ran?

Ken. Somebody's at the door...

I can hear it too.

Answer it.

I can't. I...I don't have the key.

_Answer _it.

Didn't you hear me? We. We're together in this. I _can't_.

_Please!_

What if something happens? We're safe here, I can be with you ,we, us, I...

Want to save you. Let me go!

I can't lose you!

LET ME GO!

* * *

Blinding light and then darkness. I saw it all at once and I screamed as glass shattered down onto me from above, bringing my arms up to cover my face. I turned onto my side and fell from wherever I'd been lying onto the floor. The pain was blindingly _real_, real...

real

I was...I _was..!_

"Ken?" I heard the voice, and then I felt a groping hand in the darkness, that took hold of my own, that wasn't inside of me it was-  
"Ran? Is that you?" I coughed out, looking up to find him crouched on the floor in front of me, not inside me, not where I couldn't see him, _in front of me_.  
"It's me," he said, helping me up onto my knees, "it's me."

I reached out and my fingers touched his cheek, feeling stubble and sweat and oh _god_, _it was real, this was real_! I fell forwards into his arms and let out a choked sob of sheer relief, more than I had even felt before in my life. He was pressed against me and I could feel him against my skin, through the clothes on my body, my own body. It was over, god it was _over_.

"We're alright," I said a little hysterically as I pulled him as close to me as I could, "we're alright, oh god!"  
"Ken, it's alright," he said, sounding more shocked than anything, his hands running up and down my back, "we're alright."

Then there was a sound of coughing from above me and I heard groaning, then there was light and people were pouring into the room and I couldn't handle everything at once. I buried my head in Ran's shoulder and promptly passed out.

* * *

**An:** I am so sorry for the year long wait for this, but I finally did it! I tell you, honestly, I've been writing this chapter since last year, it's had so many changes it's not even funny anymore! Especially sorry to Gillian Sillis as I kept promising an update and never came through on it, I hope you're still reading and like this update! I will finish this story! I hope it's come out well and isn't too, too anti climactic. I was trying for a dramatic ending and hopefully that has worked!

Ok, back to work I guess! Please leave a review if you have time.

Maiko


End file.
